Freddy's POV

Alright, I'm at the stupid rehab place. Stupid parole officer, making me go here. Stupid court order….

"Aw dammit, not you two!" I hiss, as I see Jason Voorhees, and his girlfriend, Valken. God, how I hate them!

"We're not exactly overjoyed to see you either, Krueger." Valken growls, glaring at me.

"Let's get started." The blonde nurse says in an overly sweet voice. "We're only missing one person."

"Who's that?" says some middle aged guy in an oily voice.

"He's Steven Harrison, Dr. Lecter. Oh, before I forget, will all of you put your weapons over on that table, next to the doughnuts, coffee, and orange juice?"

Everybody gets up and starts emptying their pockets. Some weird hulk wearing a mask of skin puts a huge chainsaw on the table, while a puppet empties his little scooter thing of explosives.

I go over to the urn, and pour myself a cup of Joe, hoping to calm my anger. Almost immediately, I spit it out. "This is decaf! Who the hell puts DECAF in a room full of serial killers?!"

Valken checks out the doughnuts. "Aw, dammit, no glazed." Jason takes her hand and leads her back to their seats.

Stupid romance.

The nurse keeps the fake smile plastered on her face. "Ok, everyone done?"

Valken shrugs. "I don't think Dr. Lecter is…"

The middle aged guy sighs. "My teeth can be considered…weapons…how do we fix this…problem?"

Jason keeps staring above my head, eyes fully glazed over.

"What the hell are you staring at, kid!?"

Valken glares at me. "He's staring at the fly, Freddy."

"Does he have like, ADD or something?!"

"Freddy, I swear to god…"

The weird little puppet pulls out this tiny bottle of what smells like tequila. Michael Myers quickly throws the dolls into the table. The doll responds, by saying, "do you want to play a game?"

The nurse claps her hands. "Ok, let's go around the circle; introduce ourselves, and our favorite hobbies."

Valken stares at her in shock. "3 of us can't speak. And uh, duh, we're all SERIAL KILLERS!"

The nurse shrugs. "I've got chalkboards."

Looks like I have to start. "Um, hi, I'm Freddy Krueger. I'm a serial killer, and I enjoy crocheting."

Valken and Jason start to laugh.

Leather face holds up his chalkboard. I'm leather face, I'm a serial killer, and enjoy making lampshades.

rolls his eyes. "I'm Hannibal lecter, I'm cannibalistic serial killer, and may I say dear nurse, you would taste good with a side of kainite." He licks his lips.
The nurse giggles. "Thank you dr. lecter. You, young lady?"

"Uh, I'm Valken, I'm a serial killer, and in my spare time, I go on dates with my boyfriend here."

I'm Jason Voorhees, I'm a serial killer, and I love my girlfriend.
I yell in annoyance, "do you two EVER stop being so romantic!?"

They shake their heads eagerly.

"Well, let's all get out of here before they start ripping each other's clothes off." A new voice says from the doorway. We all look up in shock.

Steven.

A very very crappy serial killer, who I think in his last encounter with Jason and Valken, got his head squeeshed. Jason's specialty.

"Come on in and sit, Steven." The fake little nurse says sweetly.

Michael starts examining Jason's machete blade.

Valken rolls her eyes. "Aw s**t, not YOU again."

"Yeah. Me. So tell me, has your bed life been going-"

"Its 100000000 times better than if I'd dated you."

Michael looks up in confusion. The little puppet just shrugs.

I notice Jason nodding slowly. Sick…

"Well then, let's get out of here before they start ripping eachother's clothes off." A familiar voice says from the doorway.

Steven. A very crappy serial killer, who in his last encounter with Jason and Valken got his head squeeshed.

The doll raises his hand slowly. "How did you do it?"

"Shut up jigsaw, no one wants to hear how monster girl and freak boy get it on."

"We DON'T, Freddy. And at least Jason doesn't have to be a perv to get some action."

Were we supposed to keep this PG-13?

"yeah, leather face, but Steven ruined it. Feel free to maim him as you see fit."

Jason, Michael, and Leather face start hulking towards Steven.

The nurse intervenes. "DISMISSED!"

"I don't think so…." I hiss, clacking my fingers together. Valken and Jigsaw get up next t me. "We've had just about enough of your bulls*it…"

…………..

"Ok," Valken sighs. "We're gonna need a new nurse, but other than that, see you guys next week!"

"Only in your dreams, bitch."

"watch it Freddy, or I'll get Jason to squeesh your head."

Stupid rehab…