Summary: Shinji figured the next time Urahara used him as a test subject for one of his 'inventions' he'd sic Hiyori on him. Mafia-owned, time-travelling bazookas or not. UraharaxShinjixAizen.
Disclaimer: Neither Bleach nor Katekyo Hitman Reborn! belong to me.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Shounen-ai, though ShinjixAizenxUrahara kinda speaks for itself, no? There may be hints for other pairings if you squint enough. Also, unbeta'd.
A/N: So, yeah. No real explanation for this, just a need to somehow mix my two fandoms. And putting in some more ShinjixAizen out there on the internet, which there's a serious lack of DD: Mine contains Urahara though. The man weaseled himself in, somehow.
Of Bazookas and Shinigami
"Er…Mr. Urahara, was it?"
"Yes,"
"Sorry about making you repeat yourself, but, you wanted to…?"
"Purchase the time-travelling bazooka which should be here now, if my sources are correct,"
"…can I inquire as to the nature of those sources?"
"I'm afraid I've got a strictly confidential buyer-seller policy,"
"…right,"
Sawada Tsunayoshi, Vongola Tenth, was at a complete loss. He'd only officially become the Tenth five years ago, at the age of twenty-five, thankfully later than in the future he had once seen. Having been groomed for the part since the age of fourteen by his sadistic hitman tutor Reborn, he had become a fine Vongola leader. He was still occasionally awarded kicks to the head, though.
Since he grew up in an environment which included gun-wielding infants, illusionists in tanks, unexpected trips to the future, practically constant explosions, several life or death battles, discipline obsessed teens and flying sharks, to name but a few examples, he was proud to say there was little that could surprise him now.
This, however, not even his hyper intuition could have prepared him for.
"Um, Mr. Urahara, I'm sorry to tell you this, but the bazooka isn't up for sale,"
"Oh, I know that! I just wanted to purchase some time with it, so I could study it for a bit-"
"Study it?" Tsuna's calm personality as the Tenth momentarily reverted back to his fourteen year old, panicky self. Who knew what could happen if he let anyone near that bazooka; it had already caused enough trouble in the past.
"It's not like I can copy it or anything, haha!" cue the appearance of the fan, "besides, I will pay you for the time with it! I've heard you're in a slight economic plight right now!"
"I…I guess it wouldn't hurt to just let you see it for a bit," although he knew better, it was true that they were in a bit of a problem (damn the man's sources, who were they?), and well…more money could only mean a less grouchy Gokudera, and that would mean a smiling Yamamoto, which meant a peaceful Hibari, content Chrome and a less troublesome Lambo, making Ryohei happy to the extreme, enough to go exercise, so Mukuro would be out of depressed people to torment.
"That's right! Tell you what, since I'm feeling generous, I'll even give you a discount on some of my store's items, like this new candy I've recently received…"
Four hours later, Urahara walked out of the Vongola Mansion, papers with scribbled notes in hand, waving at the door. There stood Tsuna, junk piled up in his arms, attempting to wave back.
For some reason, he just couldn't shake off the feeling he'd just been cheated.
He paled. Reborn would have his head for sure.
"Ya're making it up,"
"I'm not! See, I couldn't really look at the original for too long, but I saw enough, and I am quite sure this is an almost exact replica,"
"So, this…thing, does what, exactly?"
"It's not a 'thing', it's a time-travelling bazooka, my newest invention!"
"Can't be your invention if ya just copied it,"
"Yes, well, nobody in Soul Society needs to know that,"
Shinji rolled his eyes, and turned to the black cat which sat next to him. The cat stared back, shrugged as if to say 'what can you do?' and trotted off without comment. Yoruichi had seen enough of Urahara's inventions to last her a lifetime.
The Vizard turned back to the excited man, who was holding the bazooka as if it were his greatest treasure.
"And what did ya call me for, eh, Kisuke?" he inquired lazily.
"To test it out, of course!" the other answered flippantly.
Shinji's eyes narrowed.
"No,"
"What?"
"No, Kisuke…I've heard enough of ya're inventions to know they're troublesome,"
Urahara pouted from underneath his hat.
"Don't try bein' cute, it won't work,"
"I don't know who you've been talking to, but that's a complete lie-"
"Really? What about the time you put Hacchi in the crystal elevator?"
"Well, that was a one-time thing and-"
"Or Mashiro and the never-ending box of chocolates?"
"Mistakes do happen, but-"
"Kensei and the disco ball? Rose and the grand piano? Love and the washing machine?"
"ALRIGHT! I get it! I've made mistakes in the past, but this time is different,"
"Oh? How so?"
"This is the first time I copy an invention instead of making it myself," Urahara grinned, flipping out his fan, as his point was driven home.
"That doesn't make it any less dangerous," the blond before him frowned.
"But see, this time, I followed notes and-"
"I ain't listening to Kisuke, have a nice day," Shinji stood up, intent on leaving the vicinity lest the crazed inventor force it on him. Quickly, he turned to the door.
But he was too late.
As he felt what was undoubtedly the bazooka falling on him, and his stomach being pulled away, he heard Kisuke's laugh in the distance. Shinji figured the next time Urahara used him as a test subject for one of his 'inventions' he'd sic Hiyori on him. Mafia-owned, time-travelling bazookas or not.
"Wha-" was his first syllable as he gazed on the presumed future world. He seemed to be in the same room he had just left.
But he was not alone. There were two others, one a man with blond hair and a stripped hat, and the other a man with brown hair.
Shinji knew both, and he knew them very well. What he didn't know was why he was in his current position: with the blond hanging over him and the brunette staring intently from the side. They were both in a disheveled state, clothes messy and hair ruffled.
"Oh, it's today?" the blond asked, pouting slightly as he scooted off of Shinji and he knew that pout damn it!
"Kisuke?" the brunette wondered aloud. Shinji turned to him.
And glared.
"What's he doing here?" the Vizard asked, venom dripping from his voice. The other man flinched slightly, and smiled a small smile.
"Hmm, must be about ten years ago, huh?" Urahara, now identified, commented offhandedly.
The brunette moved closer, causing Shinji to scurry back. Although he disliked showing fear to his worst enemy, he did not understand the current situation…and his sword was missing.
"Now, now, Sousuke… I realize how tempting a ten years younger Shinji might be, but he probably sees you as the enemy right now," the other blond lectured.
Aizen spared him a glance, before suddenly grasping Shinji's wrist and yanking. This caused both of them to land a mess of limbs on the floor, as the brunette did not let go and the blond would have nothing of it. Motion ceased, however, when his former vice-captain's lips met his own in a violent kiss.
It was not exactly pleasant, as it was a flurry of lapping tongues, saliva and blood, but it was enough to shock Shinji enough that he refrained from further movement. When the two parted, the brunette's face held a smirk, while the blond's resembled that of a fish.
The third room's occupant, previously forgotten, wormed his arms around the youngest's waist, pulling him closer. Shinji jumped when he felt a poke.
"It's a pity this only lasts five minutes," where the last words he heard, before the now familiar pull took him back through a myriad of colors to his own time.
"Captain Hirako?" a voice tentatively asked.
"Don't call me that, I ain't a captain anymore," was the automatic reply. Shinji's eyes snapped open, as he lazily grinned at his fellow blond haired friend. The man seemed extremely relieved.
"Sorry, force of habit and all that…" in fact, now that Shinji took a closer look at him, Urahara looked properly debauched. Even his hat was off, lost somewhere in the room.
"You were switched with your future self…things got a bit messy," the hatless man explained when he noticed the other's stare.
"Hmm," he murmured, as he leaned over, firmly grasping the green jacket Urahara always wore, "messy…like this?"
And he smashed their lips together in a sloppy kiss.
After all, who was he to mess with the time-space continuum? Better let things take their course, he figured.
Especially when he felt the other reciprocating the kiss. Now if they could just get Sousuke…
Back in Italy, Tsuna had been walking on thin ice ever since the blond man left. He knew it was only a matter of time until someone figured out they had both lost and made money, something he was not looking forward to.
"Tenth!"
Here we go…
"Tenth!" Hayato Gokudera, Storm Guardian and right-hand man, stormed into his boss' office, papers in hand.
"What is it, Hayato?" the nervous man asked, now on a more familiar basis with almost all his Guardians.
"Tenth, look!" the papers were thrown on the desk, numbers and letters which held no meaning to the young boss: economics had never really been his forte.
"That is quite strange," commented a third voice from over Tsuna's shoulder. He would have jumped, were he not used to it.
"What does this mean, Reborn?" he asked his former teacher, now turned adult, who studied the papers from behind him.
"It means that in the past month the Vongola account has had three transfers of money, as a payment for a service," Reborn answered, tilting his fedora slightly upwards.
"Exactly! I just can't figure out what we've done to deserve this, and they are quite substantial amounts too!" Gokudera explained excitedly, waving his hands about.
"Does it say where the money comes from?" inquired the former tutor.
"Ah, yes, here: the largest quantity comes from a company that calls itself 'Hueco Mundo, Inc.', then another part comes from 'Vizard's Association' and the smallest sum from 'Urahara's Shop'," as his right-hand man read off the last one, Tsuna flinched, his eyes widening. He had a good idea where all the money came from, now.
Reborn's eyes narrowed: he had noticed the other's slight jump when Gokudera read the last one. His lips parted to question the others reaction, but the arrival of a fourth person in the office did not give him space to speak.
"The funniest thing happened to me this morning: I woke up, and instead of just one bazooka, I found two," Lambo, the Thunder and youngest Guardian, informed the others as he lazily walked up to the desk, "the new one even had a thank you note on it,"
Again, Tsuna reacted: his eyes widened. The man had copied it! That two-faced-
"Tsuna, do you know something about this?" Reborn finally asked, interrupting his train of thought.
"Ahahaha, me? No, no, why would I know? I mean, we all know business isn't really my best subject, so what could I possibly have to do with this? I think we should just say it's all good luck, haha," the young boss rattled on nervously, rubbing the back of his head.
"Of course, Tenth!"
"I guess I don't mind having another bazooka…"
Beneath the fedora, Reborn's dark eyes narrowed once more. However, he chose not to comment, and instead get Tsuna to tell him at a later date. One shouldn't question good luck when it happened upon them.
As the three left his office, Tsuna smiled. At least something good had come out of that disastrous meeting last month.
So, yeah. More of a ShinjixUrahara, but y'know, Aizen's there. Aizen wants attention too. Anyway, this was written really fast, and it's the first time I try to write ANY of these characerts: I mean, I've written Bleach before, but not about these three, and I've never written KHR! (though I've wanted to). This whole thing was a first for me.
Which might explain why I butchered Shinji's accent oh so bad DD:
Not to mention the Guardian's speech patterns. All speech patterns, really.
…yeah, maybe I should go crawl back into the hole I came from. While I do that, reviews are always appreciated.
EDIT (June 25th, 2011) : Fixed the divisons.