Thor's Diary
Sunday:
Today I have found my mother's wedding ring she has been looking for. I brought it to her and she was so glad to see it, she came up to Loki and glared at him HAHA!
But other things happened today. Fandral, Sif and I went on a walk. Oh and Loki came, although I never really saw him. I kept looking behind us and sometimes he was there and other times he wasn't. I'm not quite sure what he was doing. I didn't see him, but I heard him getting slapped in the face by the tree branches and him screaming from blackberry thorns and tripping over logs. After a while of walking, we decided to camp for the night. We didn't bring anything for camping, so we told Loki to go back to the castle and pack up some supplies.
He came back covered with poison ivy with a chariot full of the supplies and he brought a horse that wasn't yet trained so he could not ride it. But don't worry, I asked him if it was the only horse available and he said, "Yes." with a disappointed expression.
~Thor
Monday:
So when I woke up this morning with a zit. It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Loki said he couldn't see it, but I didn't want to take any chances, so I didn't listen to him, but I did put my hand in his face as in "Talkith to thy hand."
Either way, I am not going camping ever again.
I went to the Royal Library when we came back from camping today and found an actual book of how to camp and it turned out we were doing it wrong, so I yelled at Loki for not reading the book.
~Thor
Tuesday:
Today I decided to dig a hole. Loki yelled at me and called me strange and mad, and he also used other long words I couldn't understand such as "Thor you, Horrendous Buffoon!" and "Thor whatever you're doing is dementia!" He also started speaking Midgardian. I think it was French then I think he was speaking Italian. He spoke so many different languages, I couldn't keep up, and then again, I don't speak Midgardian.
After I was done digging a hole, I decided to fill it with water, so I did, but for some reason, the water drained, so I waited for it to come back and which it did not. So I filled it with water and I immediately put fish in it for which they died within five minutes.
And of course there was my brother, Loki, leaning against a tree, constantly telling me "You're not doing it right." "Do you want me to go and get you a book?" "I told you so." "You're terrible at building a pond." And "You should stop before you break a nail."
I took a break and asked Fandral and he told me, "Don't let your gloating brother drag you down!"
So I continued.
~Thor
Wednesday:
This morning I was ordered to fill in my pond. And of course, my brother, Loki was mocking me.
After filling in my pond, I decided to practice knife throwing (Loki taught me), and I literally humiliated myself. I missed the target a few times from which sent plenty royal gardeners to the healing room.
So I decided to learn how to fight with scepters (I was also taught by Loki). Loki told me, "It's just as easy as… Eating…" It was not just as easy as eating! It was horrible!
After that, Fandral taught me how to fight with a sword. I gave up and told him I'd stick with my hammer. And Loki was telling me, "You're a big quitter, you know that?" and I replied, "I'm not a quitter! I don't quit! I simply give up!" Which is right, right?
~Thor
Thursday:
Thy haveth been compromised by yee brother! Thou have read thy diary! Thou have disappointed yee! Thou shalt pay! Do thou understand, brother?! Are thou reading thee?!
~Thor
Friday:
My brother was gravely punished. And yes, I am being sarcastic. Mother slapped me! And then hugged Loki! Loki is a liar! Liars shall pay! He will pay! Loki! You are a liar, I tell you! A LIAR!
I've been eating too much lately. It's almost like the Dark Ages. So I've been exercising and of course Loki has been baiting me by throwing food at me while I'm exercising. I swear I have the worst brother ever!
My brother is insane! He calls me names in foreign languages and reads my diary. He treats me like I'm his older sister! He even told me that once! I hate it when he's in those moods of mischief and trickery! He makes me want to strangle him to death for which I probably should not do because I would be imprisoned and we do not want that, right, diary?
~Thor
Saturday:
I wonder what my brother is doing. He's been so quiet lately. He's confusing me. One second, I'm going to go check on him.
I'm back and this whole time he has been writing down what I have wrote in my diary! I can't help it that I speak when I write things down!
And Loki has been complaining about not having very many friends, just people he knows! HE'S A LIAR! DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!
Speaking of: He has stolen my friends. I don't know what's so ravishing about him, but it needs to stop! I'd be talking to my friends and he would just randomly come up saying, "Greetings." And then walk away and they would follow him. I don't know why, but again: It needs to stop!
He's also been looking for every little thing to get me in trouble! He's 1,048 years old! He's too old for that kind of stuff!
~Thor
P.S: Gods do I need a life, or what?!