Time takes it all whether you want it to or not, time takes it all.
Time bares it away, and in the end there is only darkness.
Sometimes we find others in that darkness,
and sometimes we lose them there again.
-Stephen King
"Seven hundred and twenty-two years, River," the Doctor stressed, clearly irritated. "That's how long the chameleon circuits been broken. Why fix it now?"
"Because we were nearly roasted over a fire by the inhabitants of Zaldoc12 on the grounds of the color blue being offensive to their religion," River explained calmly, not looking up from her position under the console as she made her repairs.
The Doctor crouched down, hands on knees and glaring at his wife. "What have you got against the police box? I think its brilliant, and I have no intention of traversing the universe in a stone cylinder, or whatever she decides to take the form of. Cylinders are boring!"
"I have nothing against the police box. In fact, I rather like it myself," River shot back. "I'm not completely fixing the circuit. Just... modifying it slightly. You can still fly around in your box, only you'll have the choice to blend in if the need ever arises."
The Time Lord crawled beneath the controls to get a good look at her. "You can do that?"
River turned her head to face him, smiling. "Child of the TARDIS, sweetie."
The Doctor stared at her for a moment in an odd mixture of awe, envy, and pride before jumping back to his feet. "So! What can I do to help?"
"Now he's eager," River muttered just loud enough for him to hear. "Go downstairs and turn the dial on the data core from three to nine, then reroute the couplings to the cloaking mechanism."
She hadn't even finished speaking when the Doctor spun on his heels and took the steps two at a time to get beneath the glass floor.
"Oh, and Doctor?"
"Yes?"
"Could you be a dear, and actually do as you're told this time?"
The Time Lord huffed indignantly. "Well maybe if you gave me actually usefulinstructions-"
"Once again may I bring up that I'm the child of the TARDIS?" River quipped back.
Bringing himself up to full height, the Doctor shot her a stern look through the glass floor. "Melody Pond, I am over eight hundred years your senior..."
"Oh not this again."
"... and as pilot, mechanic, and proprietor of this particular TARDIS-"
"Illegally gained titles, may I add."
The Doctor sputtered. "Not illegally! Well, not strictly legally either..." He paused for a moment, head reeling for a proper excuse. "I suppose that after all this time it's just mine by default."
River chuckled softly, but it was soon to come to a halt when she saw the Doctor extending a hand towards a large box sitting amidst a sea of doo-hickeys and thing-a-ma-bobs. "Doctor, don't!"
"What in the- OW!" Her husband's arm had automatically reverted to flail-mode at the abrupt warning, banging into a nearby lever in the process. "Yes?"
"That's not the data core," River said flatly.
"I knowthat," he retorted, rubbing his sore hand.
"Okay, then what is it?"
"It's... this, this box, you see," the Doctor began, scratching his head. "Very vital to the function of the TARDIS, can't go on without it, really. And it- it does... things. Important things. Yes, that's what it is. The Box of Important Things."
"A riveting explanation," River said, trying to hide a smile. "What do you plan on doing with your earnings when you receive your Nobel Prize?"
"Quiet you. Technically speaking, I'm still not wrong," he argued. "And I do believe that I know a thing or two more on how to handle my ship than a mere human with just a bit of Time Lord thrown in the mix." Once again reaching for the box, the Doctor added under his breath: "And besides, you're a woman."
River glanced below just as his hand made contact with the cords sprouting from the box. "No! What are you-"
But her warning came too late as the Doctor pulled the plug, instantly plunging the TARDIS into total darkness. There was a deep, tender pause before anything was said.
"I was right. It does do important things. Several of them, in fact."
His hands quickly began groping around in search of the box. This was very, very not good. He had no power, no shield, no lights- and it appeared that the only thing he didhave was an irate wife up above, quietly seething about his inability to follow basic directions.
When his fingers at last found the desired piece of machinery, the Doctor attempted to put the wires back in place, but the plugs had been sealed shut. He fumbled blindly through his pockets for his sonic, but it appeared that he had misplaced it. Again.
"Doctor."
But the words fell on deaf ears as the Doctor racked his brains for a reason the TARDIS was behaving this way. Without recourse to a major source of her power, it was clear that she was in very serious distress.
Oh of course.
The TARDIS was in lockdown. Whenever the Old Girl feels she's been tampered with more than what was necessary for repairs, she would completely shut down to avoid being taken advantage of by an enemy. The only thing that could reverse it was putting one of his own TARDIS keys into a specific slot on the console, along with a wave of his... sonic.
"Doctor!"
He threw out a quick reassuring hum as he stumbled up the stairs while searching through his pockets again for his key. One problem at a time. Deadlocked time machine, now. Angry wife, later.
At last finding the small object, the Doctor then set out to accomplish the impossible task of finding the correct keyhole in the dark. Fortunately for him though, impossibilities are his specialty. After many minutes of hands knocking against random switches and buttons that he's certain his poor Sexy would feel in the morning, he at last located what he was looking for. After inserting the key and turning it precisely eleven-twelfths of the way around, he then turned his attention back to finding his missing screwdriver.
But his focus was once again diverted by a strangled cry of his name. Not his title. His true, actual name.
The Doctor's wife was not a woman who could be frightened easily. So to hear her cry for him so desperately made one heart climb to his throat, the other drop to his toes. "River!"
The shields were down, and he had no idea where the TARDIS had landed. If something had gotten in, and it was hurting River...
He felt the vibrations of feet slapping against the floor in a rabid gait, so different from the grace and poise he was used to that he feared it belonged to an unwelcome intruder. But the hand that grabbed his was familiar, much to his relief, gripping him so tightly that it wouldn't be long before the bones were ground to nothing but dust.
The Doctor reached over to take River's other hand in order to calm her, but in the process his fingers brushed against her leg. Or really, what should have been her leg. Instead his hand found something hard bulging from her pocket. Hard, metallic, and distinctly screwdriver-shaped.
"River, my sonic!"
His hand dove into her pocket (choosing to ignore the significant rise in heat to his face) and quickly dug out his beloved tool. Soon enough the green dot appeared in the sea of black, and the TARDIS slowly whirred back to life.
The lights had barely flickered back on when the Doctor spun in a full circle, screwdriver at the ready to challenge whatever had threatened his wife, but they were the only two in the room.
"What happened, River? I heard you scream, and I was afraid that..." But the words trailed off as he turned to face her.
River stood apart from him, both hands planted firmly on the console to support her, eyes squeezed shut. Her breathing was heavy and uneven, the air panting to catch up with the wild beating of her hearts.
"River." Taking a step forward, the Doctor gingerly placed a hand on her back. "River, what did you see?"
She didn't answer at first, still out of breath. And when she finally did, her mouth formed the words slowly as if learning to work properly again. "It's not what I did see. It's what I didn't see. What I couldn't see."
For a moment the Doctor mulled over River's words in his mind, devising their meaning. And as realization slowly dawned on him, he felt his lips stretch themselves into a full-blown smirk.
"Why, Professor Song," he drawled out, crossing his arms smugly and shifting his weight against the console. "Are you afraid of the dark?"
"Shut up," she murmured, but it wasn't like her usual teasing manner of saying the phrase, nor her just as frequent tone of exasperation. It seemed to be devoid of any emotion at all, like she was simply trying to get out of the conversation as fast as she could.
Then it hit him. She was hiding the damage.
Taking a firm hold on her arm, the Doctor nearly dragged River to the jump seat. Once he had her seated, he stood directly in front of her, leaning over to hold both her shoulders as he gazed at her intently. "You know that you can tell me anything, right?"
River gave a small smile, but there was a tint of sadness around the edges. "No, I can't. I never can. No matter how well I know you or how well you know me, we are never perfectly in sync." She chuckled quietly. "Spoilers, remember? We'll always be keeping secrets, always holding something back from the other."
Crouching down low enough for him to be looking up at River rather than down, he took one of her clenched fists and carefully unfurled it to allow his own hand to slip through. "Please, River. Don't hold this back. Talk to me, it's what all normal couples do, and I think we deserve to be a little normal sometimes." That gained him a real laugh from his wife, making his hearts warm in response. "Please."
River stared at him for a long moment. Then she exhaled slowly, eyes raised to the ceiling as she took a moment to gather her thoughts together.
"Growing up, I had been conditioned to constantly be aware of my surroundings," River began, choosing her words as one would choose steps when walking upon a thin sheet of ice. "No one knew the day that you would arrive to take down his psychopath, so I was always to be prepared to defend myself. And how can you defend yourself when you can't see what's coming, that you wouldn't be lurking in the darkness to get me..."
As she spoke, the Doctor moved into the seat beside her, holding onto each word with unusual attentiveness. His hand never strayed from hers.
"I hardly ever slept," River continued, the words now rapidly following one after another as if they had been waiting in line behind her lips. "Part of that was because of my Time Lord genetics, but mostly I was just terrified. I was all alone in the dark and... I know it sounds stupid, but I thought- I thought that the shadows were coming to get me."
The Doctor's breath stuttered at her words, and his eyes shut as a door, not unlike the one Rory had once spoken of, unlocked itself from the depths of his mind. It slowly cracked open to reveal a woman so very old in so many ways, giving her life so that the shadows she feared more than anything could roam their forests undisturbed.
River was so close to that day; he could sense it in his ancient bones. She was free from Stormcage, she was a professor at Luna University, she knew his name- the pieces were coming together bit by bit, but the Time Lord dreaded to see its completion.
"Just think about it," River continued, completely unaware of what her husband was going through just beside her. "Our worst enemies function in the dark: Weeping Angels, the Silence..."
Vashta Nerada, the Doctor's brain supplied, but he beat it down immediately. River is here now. River is alive now. And he would be damned forevermore if he didn't make the most of it, every second of every day he had left with her.
So he leaned over and interrupted her with a kiss, soft and slow. But it wasn't long before one of his famously wide grins slowly spread across her lips, and he pulled back so his wife could see it fully. She knew that smile anywhere: the tell-tale sign of a brilliant idea in the making.
"Soltelluris!" the Doctor cried as he bounded over to the console. "A planet with two bright red suns, directly opposite of one another so that it is always day. The sky is yellow, the trees are gold and the grass is orange- it all positively shimmers under the sunlight. Now what do you say about that, River Song?"
He was just about beaming by now, his outstretched fingers wiggling invitingly, but River didn't miss the shadows lurking in the corners. She had seen them creeping in while she opened up to him- because even at her most vulnerable she would still look out for him, protect him. The blackness was guilt, she knew, and he was trying to chase it away with some sunshine and a little adventure.
She hated the dark in his eyes even more than that of the TARDIS just minutes before. It varied in shades, depending on the age of the particular Doctor she has met up with at the time, how much he's been through. But there's one shadow in particular that she's never seen his face without, one that is only there when he looks at her. The Doctor hides damage of his own, and she had a feeling that it had something to do with the one encounter she knew for a fact lies somewhere in her future: when he doesn't know who she is.
But she decided to push the darkness that always plagued her mind away for now as she smiled brightly and took his hand.
"I say 'let there be light'," she replied.
He grinned and reached a hand towards the controls, but River slapped his hand away.
"I'll be driving today- and don't you dare lay so much as a finger on your Box of Important Things."
So this story is an expansion of an idea I had previously introduced in chapter 4 of one of my former stories, "The Perfect Psychopath." I seem to have an odd habit of doing this.
Oh and by the way, sorry for the feels. But I hope ya liked it!