You may be wondering: what the hell is This Is The Life and why did you do it over? Allow me to explain. This Is The Life is my only attempt at a Smash drama. I had big plans for it. It was meant to be able to be followed like one's "stories" on TV, with a fair mix of everything: action, humor, romance, suspense, maybe even horror. When I first put it up, one reviewer praised it for its detail. But as I continued, I screwed up something in the story, and got stuck thinking of ways to move it along. So it laid dormant for over a year, due to severe writer's block. My attempt failed. I did something I never thought I'd do: willingly remove and remake one of my own fics. It didn't seem like a bad idea. (I mean, I may have been forced, but look at Luigi's Experiment.)
And here we are.
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This Is The Life REDUX.
One year.
One hundred stories.
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Day 1, 8:00 a.m.
Morning. Relatively beautiful morning at the Smash Estate. The sun shone with modest intensity on the giant pine front doors of the Smash Mansion, where the fighters lived. The famous fighters. The Smashers. All of them well-known, some in more circles than others. In the mansion, there were 26 of them, living life as normal as was possible. Sometimes things went a little...nutty, but life tends to throw people for a loop at the most inopportune moments. The Smashers were no exception.
At this time, out of 26, 11 were awake. All 11 were eating breakfast. And as usual, breakfast was good. Nothing was wrong with anyone. The 11 were in a good mood, and they had all had a good night's sleep. It went like this.
"Is everyone having a good meal?" Mario asked this, sitting at the head of the table, eating pancakes and sausage.
"We're good, Mario." Ness answered this, sitting 3 chairs down from Mario on his left, eating a particular brand of cereal. Ness was unusually smart for his age, and because of this, he managed to befriend nearly everyone that resided there. But, like most people his age, he had a certain clique, which consisted of 5 fellow Smashers.
Young Link was his closest friend. They shared everything together, including that brand of cereal. He always sat right next to (or depending on the situation, across from) Ness, and they talked about the widest variety of things. In team battles, they were a force to be reckoned with.
Kirby was also a prominent member of the little group. He was always fun to be around, which was why Ness liked him so much. He gave off good vibes, and the rest of the clique fed off those vibes whenever they got the chance.
The Ice Climbers, Popo and Nana, knew all about togetherness, and acted as peacemakers when things got out of hand. They also doubled as secondary Kirbies.
Pichu was incredibly loyal and trustworthy, like a pet you could have a conversation with. He was the kindest out of the entire group.
Only Young Link and Kirby were currently awake, so they had their own conversations.
"Mario, let me know when you're done with your food." Peach said that. She was notorious for being so unbelievably selfless that she willingly acted as the mansion's caretaker. The job was daunting, but rewarding, as no one gave her any trouble, not even Bowser. She was eating grapefruit, and sitting a chair down from Mario on his right side.
"Okey-dokey," Mario replied with his mouth half full.
As Mario, Peach, Ness, Kirby, and Young Link sat on one half of the table, there was a slightly more scattered group on the other. At the opposite end of the table sat Dr. Mario, the real Mario's alter ego that was personally ripped out of him by Master Hand, the boss of the Smashers. They both ate the exact same breakfast. Dr. Mario served as (shockingly) the mansion's in-house doctor, being able to diagnose and cure virtually any illness presented. He was very reliable. But his existence was something he pondered constantly. Sometimes it kept him awake at night.
Samus, without her Power Suit, sat 2 chairs away on his left, eating a fiber-based cereal with added banana bits. She was generally alone at all times of day, and was a huge mystery to many of the mansion's inhabitants. They knew she was a ruthless bounty hunter, but that was really it. Her personality was about as deep-rooted within her as all the weapons in her suit.
Fox McCloud sat across from her, eating only bacon with milk. He had garnered a reputation for being not only one of the most competitive Smashers, but in an elite class all his own. Fox was currently the best, statistically. But he didn't let it get to his head. He practiced modesty, and wasn't much of a jerk. The woman across the table was slightly acquainted with him, which was lucky.
Mr. Game & Watch was sitting 3 chairs down from Fox, eating a two-dimensional meal of eggs and bacon. The drink was black, and unidentifiable, but it may have been milk. Mr. Game & Watch was granted the ability to speak by Master Hand, along with several other mansion-hold members. Out of all of them, he had the widest variety of talents. It must have had something to do with his past.
Roy sat 2 chairs down from Samus, feasting on a simple meal of buttered toast and orange juice. This life was a radical change for Roy, as he, back in his home-world, was a Lord. But, more or less, he found it to be quite enjoyable, and made it a priority to befriend all the good people of the mansion.
Donkey Kong sat across from Mr. Game & Watch, eating bananas with water. Being an ape, DK wasn't big on hygiene, nor was he particularly intelligent. But he was a formidable Smasher, and was liked (rather, respected) because of that fact. He also had a rather playful personality.
The 11 sat and ate breakfast, with only Ness' group engaged in audible conversation.
"Did you catch that battle with Falcon and Pikachu yesterday? Wow. Talk about heated," Ness said, taking in another spoonful of cereal.
"I saw it! It was funny! Pikachu kept juggling him with his head. I thought he had that match won," Kirby said. He'd finished eating.
"If it wasn't for that knee, and the layout of Mushroom Kingdom, he would've won easy," Young Link said.
"I wanna see a rematch, at the Fountain of Dreams. They won't have much of a place to run, and that'll make it exciting," Kirby added.
"Speaking of rematch, I hope we get ours today. Me and Pichu...we're not losing again. No way," Ness said, taking his final bite.
"Please. Me and Kirby here may not have teamed in a couple of weeks, but we're still powerful," Young Link said, also taking his final bite.
"What he said," Kirby quickly inputted.
"Yeah, sure. But I bet I can beat you in a milk-guzzling contest," Ness said.
Kirby gasped in an overly dramatic manner. "Are you challenging Young Link in a contest involving milk? He's Young Link! Did you forget?"
"What's the bet?" Young Link asked, mostly ignoring Kirby.
"I'll bet the winnings of my next match that I can have my bowl completely milk-free before yours. If you lose, that's your winnings. Deal?"
"Done deal." The two "contestants" shook on it.
"I guess I'll be the judging official." Kirby jumped on the table and faced Ness and Young Link. "Here's how it works! When I say the word - 'go', by the way - you two will proceed with downing all your milk. There must be not a single remnant of milk in the bowl for a winner to be chosen. Are you two ready?"
Ness grabbed the curved sides of his bowl with his fingertips and nodded. Young Link grasped the sides of his bowl with his palms and nodded.
"Set..."
The competitors glanced at each other with a palpable...competitiveness. Both Marios and Mr. Game & Watch showed moderate interest.
"Guzzle!"
Ness' strategy was to just let the liquid flow through his esophagus, with absolutely no swallowing. Because of the nature of the cereal, this was just a simple task of focusing. He couldn't go as fast as he'd like, but consistency could prove to be useful.
Young Link took the classic approach: take in as much milk as was comfortable, swallow, repeat. The method was as natural to him as breathing.
Two-fifths of a cup left to go. The suspense was slight.
"Looks like someone's almost done here!" Kirby announced. Samus sighed and ate a banana bit. Fox looked over and wondered why these kids liked gambling so much. He quickly turned back to his bacon. As he did so, Ness and Young Link were almost done guzzling.
"This is gonna be a close one, folks! I can't believe Ness is such a threat to the young milk master!" Kirby announced once more.
Young Link and Ness did some bowl-licking and slammed their bowls down on the table, at what looked like the same time from the front.
"That's it! Stop the clock!" Kirby said, on his side, analyzing the results in his mind. Ness and Young Link lightly panted while staring at each other and smirking, like each one knew they were victorious.
"This game's winner is..."
Ness, Young Link, both Marios, Mr. Game & Watch, and Fox listened for the results.
"Ness! By just a little less than half a second! Good job!"
Young Link re-slammed his bowl in defeat. "I've lost my luster."
"Yeah, you lost the money from your next fight, too. Close, though." Ness held out his hand for a five. It was promptly received.
"Nice one, Ness," Dr. Mario said, having to project his voice a bit. He nodded and smiled in response.
"Well, now that all that excitement is over...video game time!" Kirby jumped down from the table and ran upstairs to Ness' room. Young Link and Ness took their bowls and put them into the kitchen sink. The mansion's kitchen was about the same size as a typical kitchen in a high school cafeteria, except the ceiling was much higher, and it was a lot more regal in design. After the two were done, they retreated to Ness' room to play games. That left only 8.
8:45 a.m. (Match Announcement Time)
At 8:45 in the morning, 6 days a week, Master Hand would announce the matches and match times of every inhabitant in the Mansion. The system worked like so. The Smashers' fights were televised on the inconceivably popular Smash Network, which was where all the money came from. After each fight, the winner received a small amount of currency known as Smash Coins, which were very special. At the end of every week, Master Hand paid the Smashers a sum that ranged from ludicrously large to pretty damn big. Visits to the Smash Bros.' home-worlds were not set in a schedule, and usually randomly announced, but always heavily enjoyed.
This was the deal they had made.
"Attention, Smashers. This is the Master Hand, and these are your match times."
The announcements were made through speakerphones set up in every single room in the mansion. There were also several set up outside and in the courtyard.
"Jigglypuff vs. Yoshi at Venom, 9:30 a.m. Ganondorf vs. Marth at Pokemon Stadium, 10 a.m. Bowser and Falco vs. Zelda and the Ice Climbers at Hyrule Temple, 11 a.m. Roy vs. Luigi at Flat Zone, 1:15 p.m. Captain Falcon vs. Mewtwo at Princess Peach's Castle, 1:30 p.m. Kirby vs. Mr. Game & Watch at Jungle Japes, 3:45 p.m. Fox vs. Link at Green Greens, 4:30 p.m. And finally, Young Link vs. Samus at 5:00 p.m. As usual, match details will be briefed shortly before the battle begins. Reminders: the new recruits' visit is approximately one week from today, so be on your best behavior. Also, the annual tournament is a month from now, so I'd suggest you start training soon. Prelims begin in 2 weeks. That is all."
The Living Room, 9:25 a.m.
Yoshi and Jigglypuff were sitting on one of the 4 couches, watching one of the 4 TV sets. The two were pretty good friends and got along nicely, and they decided to pass the few minutes they had left before their match began. It was going to be fun, no matter who won.
"Do you ever actually watch the Smash Network?" Yoshi asked.
"Does anyone?" Jigglypuff answered in jest. The two shared a good laugh.
Yoshi was given the nickname "happiest in show" because of his almost undying joy and eternal optimism. Not everyone liked this fact, as some got annoyed by it, but it gave him the opportunity to make friends with all the right people. Happy people.
Jigglypuff was not only a highly dangerous fighter, but a generally warm-hearted creature. She was always eager to help out, and absolutely detested bullies. When she got mad, it was in one's best interest to get away. Far away.
The two Smashers were watching infomercials. Someone was selling special treasures and other weird collector's items from across the universe. Such items included frozen Metroids, a Shy Guy's mask, a mysterious egg from Sauria, and two Poes that managed to get into the same bottle. Then:
"Yoshi and Jigglypuff, report to the foyer." It was an automated voice through the speakerphones.
"Showtime," Jigglypuff said, springing up.
Meanwhile, in Ness' room...
"Good luck against Samus, man. Really, I mean that," Ness said as the entire group played a game called ShadowSeeker, a varied first-person shooter.
"Uh-huh. Shut up and eat your Shadow Nuke," Young Link replied.
I think I'll stop it here. It's a pretty good setup for events to follow. Much better, methinks. And with it kept as simple as possible, I can't get stuck. (I can get lazy though..)