Title: And Yet I Scream
Author: Inkcharm
Summary: No one will be able to hear me. And yet I scream...
Warnings: dark, angst, self-mutilation
Disclaimer: The movie "Moon Child" does not belong to me, nor do its characters or anything related to it. I make no profit out of this story, it is written merely for fun and entertainment of other fans.
Part: 1/6

And Yet I Scream

Prologue

~*~

I am floating.

Life and death, mortality and monstrosity are far behind me now. I can still feel them on my skin, like droplets of water that have yet to dry. It is not an entirely unpleasant sensation, knowing that these words are losing more importance which each fleeting moment. Time has lost its meaning as well. Who would be able to measure time right here, where eternity is now, yesterday kisses tomorrow and seconds never pass. There are no shapes here, no sounds, no colours, no taste. I do not know where I am and I do not care. I am nowhere in particular and yet everywhere at once.

It is of no consequence who I was. It does not matter who I may become. I just am, and that is enough.

I can stay here and lose myself in the strange nothingness. Thoughts drip from the confinements of my mind, wrapping around me like silk, soft and without demand. I can pick them up whenever I feel like it; they will not be lost. This way of existence knows no bounds, no limitations. Physical restrictions are gone and they have left no trace behind, as though they have never existed in the first place.

The entity that is me has no questions to ask, because the answers are already there. There will be no judgement. This is neither heaven nor hell. I do not live. I have not died. I do not care. I am beyond caring. I just am.

I have no memory. I have no hopes, no dreams or desires or urges. I only float, everywhere and nowhere at once. I do not go anywhere, nor have I left anything behind. I am limitless and I am centered and I am forgetting how to feel. It is good. This place, that is no place because it does not exist, does not know emotion, and I am becoming one with it.

I am.

And yet...

Something tugs. Something moves inside of me where nothing should be moving for I do not have a body. And since I do not have a body, I can not feel my broken spine slowly mending itself.

I can not.

And yet...

I am...

…

… Kei.

I am Kei.

And yet...

Slowly, I open my eyes. Darkness surrounds me, but I can see through it as one would see through... the thought leaves me and I nearly sob. I can not die, but somehow I feel that I have lost the one opportunity of passing on that I ever had. Broken bones set, severed nerves reconnect. I take a breath and let the memories and the feelings and the scent and the physical limitations catch up with me again. But with them comes the pain, horrible pain and terrifying realization as I remember what has happened and where I am.

It is like a tomb, far beneath the earth, several tons of stone enclosing me in a tiny space that leaves not enough room to stretch out or raise my head. I am caged, buried not alive but not dead either, and I have eternity stretching ahead of me with mocking laughter.

No one will be able to hear me. I know that. There is no one here but me.

And yet I scream...

~*~

TBC...