Disclaimer: I haven't, don't and most likely never will own anything and
that is most likely all the better for you.
The Marauders of Middle Earth?¿?
Chapter 1: The Miniature Cutsie Wutsie Book
The story begins with the Marauders in the 3 Broom Sticks at their regular table, bored. With Snape and Malfoy nearby to.....Well get up to no good.
James: *yawn* So much time and no one to prank. Man we need some new hobbies.
Sirius: Oh yeah lets collect stamps. Fun *rolls eyes*
Peter: Ohhhhhhhh good idea. Lets get some muggle ones too.........Mmmmmmmmm. I'm hungry.
Everyone (except Peter): AGAIN!
Remus: This is so unhealthy. I was reading this book the other day...
Sirus: You're always reading a book. You have one right there.
Remus: SHUTUP! Anyway this book was about diets and stuff and Peter you eat too much. It's so unhealthy. In fact we could all not....
Peter I dun care. I'm hungry I eat.
Peter gets up to go but some food.
Peter: OWWWWWWWWWW! Is that something in my shoe?
James: How should I know?
Remus: Well if you read a bit more...
Sirius: If we read anymore we would be squares like you.
Peter: Back to my shoe. I think there is something in there. Maybe its food. Ohhhhh I'm gonna get it out.
Peter takes off his shoe and pulls out a miniature-sized book.
Peter: REMUS! I no you want me to read more but like this. Its despicable..disgraceful.mean.horrible
James: SHUT IT! It's my book OK! I was actually wondering where it went I want to show you all something.
Sirus: U BOOK! *horrified look on face* James my friend have you been taking your pills?
Meanwhile Malfoy and Snape are listening in.
Malfoy: I'm gonna get that Black one day doesn't he know stamp collecting is kool.
Snape: OMG! Malfoy you still collect stamps. That is soooo last summer.
Malfoy: SHUT IT! Ohhhhhh look Fat Boy is hungry again. Man he needs liposuction. Maybe we should chase him with a vacuum cleaner to suck away the fat.
Snape: Yeah great idea next Tuesday meet at my house 9:00
Malfoy: You're on. These sissies are boring. Why are we here any way? You said something good was gonna happen.
Snape: Well I overheard 4-eyes talking to himself bout some kool spell in a book that everyone especially us would want.
Malfoy: Book??? Ahhhhh yeah listen to brainy act talking bout all those books. Its like he's never heard of girls before.
Snape: That's not entirely what I was talking about but close enough. Hmmmmmm. Listen to them jabber on about nothing.
Malfoy: Jabber on about nothing oh sweet! Do you like my new jacket Snape? Don't you think it makes me look more muscular, more hotter, more fabulous. Well I was already muscular, hot and fabulous but it adds a lil something. I think I should make it that no one else is aloud to wear it because it looks sooooooooooooooooo good on me anyone else would ruin the look. Did you see me........*Malfoy continues to jabber on about nothing for the rest of the time they are in the 3 broomsticks*
Back on the Marauder table they continue to jabber on just not about
nothing.
James: My pills? My pills? Uh-no. Not Kool. Well actually I lost 'em a while ago so uh yeah.
Sirius: OH! That explains the book.
James: You don't even no what the book is about.
Sirius: Do I wanna know?
Remus: I care if you do or not. It's a book I'm interested and intreged.
James: Well this isn't just any book.
Siruis: You own it so obviously not.
James: Actually I don't own it I kinda pick pocketed it from the Weasley who nicked it from Dumbledor. A score or what?...*silence* any way this lil book..ohhhhhh isn't it cute...is a spell book. Simple but advanced spells.
Peter: I mat not know much but something cant be simple and advanced.
Remus: Peter! My boy you've been reading haven't you?
Peter: Uh-no
James: Uh hello look at me! My book I do ALL the talking. Got it?...OK then anyway. The spells in this book are simplified advanced spells so anyone could do them.
Sirius: Even Snape and Malfoy?
James: ME! ALL TALKING OK! But yeah even those dummies. Anyway as I was flicking through I found a spell that travels you through time......This is where you say OH KOOL!
Everyone but James: *flatly* Oh Kool!
James: Only problem is the spell choses where you go. So what do you guys think?.....*silence*......*more silence*....*ok more silence how boring*....Ah yeah guys you can talk now.
Sirius: How about we just try the spell and if it don't work we get back here somehow?
Remus: Now that would be totally illogical. We could end up it some time where all the people are rats and then we would get turned into rats too!
Peter: That would be so bad because?
Remus: Oh sorry Peter I didn't realise but I was reading this book a few weeks ago and..
Sirius: Who cares? NOT ME! Do you James?
James: Noppers but I do think we should read THIS book. MY book. The book I so skilfully pick pocketed form Weasly who nicked it from Dumblebor.
Sirius: Yuppers. Ok im gonna say the spell.
Sirius picks the up book and is about to say the spell when it is snatched
right out of his hands. HIS VERY OWN HANDS!
James: SIRIUS BLACK! This is MY book and if you think you can say the spell not me well..you....ummm....should think some more.
James opens the book and plonks it on the table and begins to chant.
James (chanting): kcalb suiris htiw yag mi. eciohc ruoy fo ecalpemos ot em ekat won. Esaelp raw ni erehwemos, tnoipassid t'nod eid ot tnaw i. Obyag bmud a mi.
And with an Abracadabra the were Kapoof Kapow gone. And uh dude Malfoy and
Snape have gone too ARGHHHHHHHHH!
And that is the end of the first very exiting chapter in Marauders of Middle Earth. Tune in next time to see where they all turned up.
Please review thanks.
The Marauders of Middle Earth?¿?
Chapter 1: The Miniature Cutsie Wutsie Book
The story begins with the Marauders in the 3 Broom Sticks at their regular table, bored. With Snape and Malfoy nearby to.....Well get up to no good.
James: *yawn* So much time and no one to prank. Man we need some new hobbies.
Sirius: Oh yeah lets collect stamps. Fun *rolls eyes*
Peter: Ohhhhhhhh good idea. Lets get some muggle ones too.........Mmmmmmmmm. I'm hungry.
Everyone (except Peter): AGAIN!
Remus: This is so unhealthy. I was reading this book the other day...
Sirus: You're always reading a book. You have one right there.
Remus: SHUTUP! Anyway this book was about diets and stuff and Peter you eat too much. It's so unhealthy. In fact we could all not....
Peter I dun care. I'm hungry I eat.
Peter gets up to go but some food.
Peter: OWWWWWWWWWW! Is that something in my shoe?
James: How should I know?
Remus: Well if you read a bit more...
Sirius: If we read anymore we would be squares like you.
Peter: Back to my shoe. I think there is something in there. Maybe its food. Ohhhhh I'm gonna get it out.
Peter takes off his shoe and pulls out a miniature-sized book.
Peter: REMUS! I no you want me to read more but like this. Its despicable..disgraceful.mean.horrible
James: SHUT IT! It's my book OK! I was actually wondering where it went I want to show you all something.
Sirus: U BOOK! *horrified look on face* James my friend have you been taking your pills?
Meanwhile Malfoy and Snape are listening in.
Malfoy: I'm gonna get that Black one day doesn't he know stamp collecting is kool.
Snape: OMG! Malfoy you still collect stamps. That is soooo last summer.
Malfoy: SHUT IT! Ohhhhhh look Fat Boy is hungry again. Man he needs liposuction. Maybe we should chase him with a vacuum cleaner to suck away the fat.
Snape: Yeah great idea next Tuesday meet at my house 9:00
Malfoy: You're on. These sissies are boring. Why are we here any way? You said something good was gonna happen.
Snape: Well I overheard 4-eyes talking to himself bout some kool spell in a book that everyone especially us would want.
Malfoy: Book??? Ahhhhh yeah listen to brainy act talking bout all those books. Its like he's never heard of girls before.
Snape: That's not entirely what I was talking about but close enough. Hmmmmmm. Listen to them jabber on about nothing.
Malfoy: Jabber on about nothing oh sweet! Do you like my new jacket Snape? Don't you think it makes me look more muscular, more hotter, more fabulous. Well I was already muscular, hot and fabulous but it adds a lil something. I think I should make it that no one else is aloud to wear it because it looks sooooooooooooooooo good on me anyone else would ruin the look. Did you see me........*Malfoy continues to jabber on about nothing for the rest of the time they are in the 3 broomsticks*
Back on the Marauder table they continue to jabber on just not about
nothing.
James: My pills? My pills? Uh-no. Not Kool. Well actually I lost 'em a while ago so uh yeah.
Sirius: OH! That explains the book.
James: You don't even no what the book is about.
Sirius: Do I wanna know?
Remus: I care if you do or not. It's a book I'm interested and intreged.
James: Well this isn't just any book.
Siruis: You own it so obviously not.
James: Actually I don't own it I kinda pick pocketed it from the Weasley who nicked it from Dumbledor. A score or what?...*silence* any way this lil book..ohhhhhh isn't it cute...is a spell book. Simple but advanced spells.
Peter: I mat not know much but something cant be simple and advanced.
Remus: Peter! My boy you've been reading haven't you?
Peter: Uh-no
James: Uh hello look at me! My book I do ALL the talking. Got it?...OK then anyway. The spells in this book are simplified advanced spells so anyone could do them.
Sirius: Even Snape and Malfoy?
James: ME! ALL TALKING OK! But yeah even those dummies. Anyway as I was flicking through I found a spell that travels you through time......This is where you say OH KOOL!
Everyone but James: *flatly* Oh Kool!
James: Only problem is the spell choses where you go. So what do you guys think?.....*silence*......*more silence*....*ok more silence how boring*....Ah yeah guys you can talk now.
Sirius: How about we just try the spell and if it don't work we get back here somehow?
Remus: Now that would be totally illogical. We could end up it some time where all the people are rats and then we would get turned into rats too!
Peter: That would be so bad because?
Remus: Oh sorry Peter I didn't realise but I was reading this book a few weeks ago and..
Sirius: Who cares? NOT ME! Do you James?
James: Noppers but I do think we should read THIS book. MY book. The book I so skilfully pick pocketed form Weasly who nicked it from Dumblebor.
Sirius: Yuppers. Ok im gonna say the spell.
Sirius picks the up book and is about to say the spell when it is snatched
right out of his hands. HIS VERY OWN HANDS!
James: SIRIUS BLACK! This is MY book and if you think you can say the spell not me well..you....ummm....should think some more.
James opens the book and plonks it on the table and begins to chant.
James (chanting): kcalb suiris htiw yag mi. eciohc ruoy fo ecalpemos ot em ekat won. Esaelp raw ni erehwemos, tnoipassid t'nod eid ot tnaw i. Obyag bmud a mi.
And with an Abracadabra the were Kapoof Kapow gone. And uh dude Malfoy and
Snape have gone too ARGHHHHHHHHH!
And that is the end of the first very exiting chapter in Marauders of Middle Earth. Tune in next time to see where they all turned up.
Please review thanks.