Author's Note: This story is a Father's Day present to a great man, someone who has helped me, supported me, provided me with essentials, and amused me my whole life. Who is this man, you might ask? Why, of course, I mean Santa Claus! But in all seriousness, if you haven't guessed who this is a Father's Day present for, then one: I don't envy your intelligence; and two: I am referring to my dad. Happy Father's Day, Dad!
Father's Day
Spike was bursting with excitement. Today was a very special holiday to him. He was running down the sidewalk, carrying a plastic bag. He knew Sparkplug would absolutely love any Father's Day present his only son would get him, but Spike cared deeply about his father, and wanted to impress him with an awesome gift.
Spike was pulled out of his thoughts abruptly when a yellow Volkswagen Beetle swerved into the parking space next to the path of sidewalk he was standing on. Noticing that no one was driving it and the door opening of its own accord, he smiled in a friendly manner and hopped right in.
"Hi, Bumblebee," he said, addressing the vehicle which was now driving around on its own.
"Need a lift back to your dad's?" asked the car in a youthful, energetic voice, confirming itself to be the 'Bumblebee' Spike was previously addressing.
"Sure. Oh boy, he is going to love the Father's Day present I got him!" said Spike, giddy with excitement.
"I'm sure he will," Bumblebee chuckled, before asking quizzically, "What's a Father's Day present?"
"It's a gift you get someone for Father's Day," explained Spike, happy to teach Bumblebee a little more about Earth.
"Ah, thanks for explaining," said Bumblebee, cheerfully. "Spike?" he asked.
"Yeah, 'Bee?" asked Spike.
"What's a Father's Day?" asked the yellow Autobot.
Spike chuckled heartily, before answering the young Transformer's question. "Father's Day is a holiday when we humans honor our dads, like me with Sparkplug," explained the human.
"You mean your male human-creator, I see," said Bumblebee. "It sounds like a good holiday. I just have one more question."
"Okay, what is it, Bumblebee?" asked Spike, expecting another innocent question about Earth, that he would happily answer for his best friend.
"How do fathers and mothers make human Sparklings?" asked Bumblebee, causing Spike's face to go as red as the Autobot symbol on the young scout's roof.
"And that's how baby humans are made!" said Bumblebee, proudly.
"Me, Grimlock, did not know that humans have those kinds of parts!" remarked the self-proclaimed King of the Dinobots.
"Me, Swoop, think it interesting subject," said the Pteranodon. "Should ask Spike about it me, Swoop's self, when me, Swoop, get chance."
"I know, right? I thought humans couldn't survive being disassembled," remarked the relatively short Autobot, "I think that they infuse the babies with life after they've assembled the parts."
"Heh, them humans tougher than me, Slag, gave them credit for," remarked the berserk Triceratops Dinobot.
"Anyway, he also told me about Father's Day! It's a holiday where humans honor their male creators," said Bumblebee.
"Makes sense, since they be in pieces without father's and mother's," reasoned Grimlock.
"Yeah, and they give their father's gifts and everything! That kind of makes me want to be a dad, myself," said Bumblebee, excitedly.
"Hey," said Sludge, "Me, Swoop, had an idea! Ratchet and Wheeljack made us, Dinobots, right?"
"Yeah," said the other Dinobots and Bumblebee.
"Well," continued Sludge, "Maybe we should make them Father's Day present, from all of us!" Sludge swelled with pride at coming up with such an ingenious plan. It wasn't often he did so, and he knew it all too well.
"No," said Grimlock, distracted by some thought. "Me, Grimlock, have great idea!" he declared, proudly raising his fists above his head.
"What?" asked his team.
"Me, Grimlock, say Ratchet and Wheeljack us, Dinobots', dads! Me say we should make them Father's Day present!" declared the Dinobot leader, triumphantly.
"Me, Sludge, like that plan," agreed the Brontosaurus. "Wish me, Sludge, thought of it first…" he added.
"Don't worry, you, Sludge come up with good idea someday! Just not too good, though. Me, Grimlock, leader, so me should come up with most good-est ideas of all!" reassured his leader.
"Well," said Bumblebee, getting up from where he had been sitting cross-legged on the floor, and chuckling at the antics of his friends, "I'm gonna see if Spike's Father's Day present was a success. Good luck with whatever you guys come up with!"
Wheeljack was watching in amusement as Ratchet stitched Sunstreaker's arm back on.
"Careful! You'll scratch my lovely yellow paint!" the vain Autobot whined, to Ratchet's extreme irritation.
"Well, then, maybe NEXT time, you'll wait for backup BEFORE you engage a Decepticon!" scolded the medic.
"You're lucky I was able to chase Thundercracker off," said Wheeljack, sternly. "You could have been killed, and then, Sideswipe wouldn't have a partner in crime to help him prank Ratchet!"
Ratchet glared daggers at Wheeljack, while the Autobot on the medical berth mused. "You're right, Wheeljack," Sunstreaker conceded, "Sideswipe couldn't prank a dumb Dinobot without my expertise."
"You're done," hissed Ratchet, pointing with a VERY sharp looking wrench at the door. Sunstreaker got the hint and bolted out the door, only to run straight into Grimlock's chassis, before stumbling dizzily down the corridor.
"Hey, Grimlock," greeted Wheeljack, "whatcha' need?"
"Me, Grimlock, need you both to come with me," he said, gesturing awkwardly toward the door.
Wheeljack and Ratchet looked at each other, shrugged, and followed the lumbering Dinobot out into the corridor. They walked along the corridor until they came to the Energon storage room, where Sludge and Snarl were holding up a slab of metal with a crude drawing of the Dinobots in their beast modes, with Wheeljack riding on Grimlock's back and Ratchet mounting Sludge, with the words "HAPE FATRS DAY" carved crudely at the top of the picture.
"Bumblebee told us, Dinobots about Father's Day," began Snarl.
"So, me, Grimlock, thought, and realized you must be us, Dinobot's dads," Grimlock continued.
"And then him, Grimlock, realized it be good idea to get you present!" declared Swoop, excitedly.
"Me, Sludge, wish me thought of that idea," said Sludge.
"So, you like, it, right?!" asked Slag, proudly.
Ratchet winced at the crude drawing, before Wheeljack elbowed him and gave him a subtle glare.
"It's, uh, a nice thought," said Ratchet, forcing a smile.
"Yeah, we're happy you were this thoughtful," said Wheeljack, beaming at his creations.
"So, you like it?" asked Swoop, looking at them hopefully with the other Dinobots.
"Yes," chuckled Ratchet, this time with a genuine smile at the Dinobots' desire to appease their creators. Of course, that's when Grimlock wrapped both of his creators with one arm each, squeezing the geniuses against his massive chest.
"Me, Grimlock, knew you would like it!" declared Grimlock, boastfully.
"This mean we can do father-son things, now?" asked Sludge, hopefully.
"Yes, yes it does," said Ratchet, laughing good-naturedly at his sons' mutual desire to be family with him and his fellow scientist.
"Me, Grimlock, said you would come up with good idea, Sludge!" said Grimlock, proudly. "That's 'cause me, Grimlock, smart," he continued, "that why dads like me, Grimlock, best!"
"Beryllium baloney!" declared Slag, "They like me Slag best!"
"No, Swoop! They like Swoop!" chimed in the flying Dinobot.
The Dinobots transformed into their dinosaur modes, and, needless to say, a huge brawl broke out between the childlike brutes. Grimlock bit down on Slag's horns, while Sludge tried to simultaneously knock Swoop out of the air with his long neck, and avoid being tripped or slashed by Snarl's tail.
"Boys, boys!" shouted Ratchet, stopping the fight. "Wheeljack and I are your dads, which means we don't chose favorites! You're all our favorite sons, okay?!"
The Dinobots nodded, and transformed back into their robot modes. "Wait," said Grimlock, "if you both parents of same children, does that mean you, dads, married?"
"NO," declared both of their dads. "We're just colleagues, and nothing more!" clarified Ratchet.
"Okay, then," said Grimlock.
"So," said Wheeljack, clapping his hands together. "How about we go to the park? I know that fathers take their sons out to the park sometimes."
With that, the unlikely family went off to a park, where they spent the rest of the day teaching each other how to repair or replace damaged circuits, how to roar the loudest, and how to avoid squashing the human children around them.