Boe heard Martha's voice faintly as he struggled to draw breath, "Doctor…?" Her voice sounded fearful.
He blinked a few times and the Doctor's form became clear as well as Nurse Hame's upset. "Over here…." The Doctor's voice almost resonated, but Boe focused on that face he hadn't seen in centuries, millennia's even. The familiar face brought up nostalgic memories he'd almost forgotten but was brought back to the present when Martha's voice rang out loudly, "Doctor! What happened out there…" her voice trailed off and Boe heard footsteps come closer.
"What's that?" Martha sounded scared; Boe didn't have the energy to muster up a laugh. He hasn't been able to in centuries, the city surviving on his life force draining him.
"It's the face of Boe, its all right." Boe heard the Doctor say reassuringly and saw him tilt his head indicating Martha to get closer. Ah…the Doctor never changed. In all the many faces of the Doctor he'd met over the years, the main essence of the Doctor forever remained the same.
"Come say hello," the Doctor insisted in that reassuring tone again, Boe missed this Doctor, so old yet still innocent, "And this is Hame…. she's a cat, don't worry." Boe had to resist a smile at that, oh Martha, she was going to do so much for this world.
Boe finally heard Martha step closer and her familiar young face came into view, more nostalgic, bittersweet memories appeared. Boe hadn't seen her in so long, he'd almost forgotten.
"He's the one that saved you, not me," The Doctor said this wonderingly.
Novice Hame spoke up, "My Lord gave his life to save the city…. and now he's dying." She heartbreakingly broke up and bowed her head. Boe wished he could comfort her. He missed having arms, legs, touching….finally he was blessed. He was allowed to die. Boe did not want his loyal nurse Hame to be more upset so he remained relieved silently.
"No don't' say that, he's bloody alive yet." Boe loved the Doctor even more, more than he'd thought possible.
So he struggled to say a few words, "Its good to breathe the air once more." Taking in breaths were painful but oh so refreshing. The life preserving liquid fluid he had been in did not feel as good as this.
"Who is he?" That was Martha again.
The Doctor paused before he said, "I don't' even know…" he said this with regret. Boe wished to see their faces when they realised who he was. He decided not to do anything about their uncertainty.
"Legend says the face of Boe has lived for billions of years…. isn't that right?" The Doctor sounded amazed. Well yes he should be, Boe had forgotten so much but the tiny memories he hung onto were oh so precious. There were painful memories too but also equally precious. His life was flashing before his eyes. There were so many lovers, families, friends and so many he'd forgotten. For some names he couldn't even put a face to.
Boe brought himself back to the present when the Doctor continued, "…and you're not about to give up now." The Doctor insisted but also sounding like he was denying the inevitable.
"Everything has its time," Boe inhaled a painful breath, "you know that old friend, better than most." There, a hint to the Doctor.
"Legend says more…" Novice Hame added but was interrupted by the Doctor.
"Don't, there's no need for that," The Doctor now was denying again sounding worried but Boe knew the Doctor was also desperately going through his memories trying to remember Boe.
But Hame continued, "It says that the Face of Boe will speak his final secret to a traveller," she then looked at the Doctor. It was another version of the Doctor, centuries older that had instructed Boe on what to reveal. Boe has waited patiently for this moment, for this younger Doctor to appear; only he hadn't expected dear Martha too.
"Yeah but not yet, who needs secrets eh?" Boe was amused, that was just like the Doctor.
"I have seen so much, perhaps too much," Boe had and it was enough. He could feel he didn't have much time left so he saved his breath before continuing, "I am the last of my kind as you are the last of yours Doctor." Breathing was almost impossible now, the three figures blurring in and out.
"That's why we have to survive," The Doctor was arguing, he knew it was no use. Boe hated causing his pain but it was inevitable, "…both of us, don't go." The last part was said pleadingly and Boe heard the Doctor take in a sharp breath keeping his composure. That broke Boe's heart even more, he wished he could have done a lot of things differently. But there was no such thing so he spoke wanting too give the Doctor reassurance while passing on the words, "I must…but know this Time Lord," Boe emphasized the his last words, "You. Are. Not. Alone…." With a final exhale the last thing Boe saw was the Doctor's confused, skeptical expression and Martha's grief for her savior before everything ceased to exist. Finally he was free… it became dark.
…
…
…
Death sounds just like the whirring roar of the rift. Boe is lost to it. He is either flying or floating. Boe can't breath; he has no lungs. He feels nothing and yet everything. His heartbeat increases, his chest expands painfully. Boe finally remembered to open his mouth and drew breath, air filling his lungs gratefully.
After a few breaths his panic receded. Thinking clearly, a sense of hopelessness came over him. He could feel his arms and legs. Wasn't he dead? Is this death? Boe opened his eyes. There was pure darkness; he couldn't see anything. But he could feel. He wriggled his fingers and toes. Having appendages felt strange after going so long without any feeling.
After moments of moving his newly found arms and legs, Boe just stopped. He was floating in this never-ending darkness, he moved his arms trying to swim forward but was unfortunately held in place. Where is this place? If this was death he didn't want it.
He breathed in deeply before screaming, "WHERE AM I?!" His own voice echoed back at him and he surprised himself with how loudly his voice projected. Having grown so used to communicating telepathically Boe felt like he was moving a muscle that had ceased to exist. Shouting had never felt so good. Being able to move his mouth swiftly and having all that energy, felt wonderful. Boe had forgotten what that felt like, having a body. "HELLO?" Again his voice echoed.
Time passed.
Boe didn't know how long he was to remain in this suspended state. Was this his curse for being a fixed point in time? He felt small tendrils of madness sneak into his mind. Having lived far too long one tends to lose sight of their existence or purpose in life. If this was his end there was no point resisting the inevitable.
Just as Boe was about to give in to his curse, the sound of laughter echoed from his right. It didn't sound malicious or mocking. Just sad… Then a soft voice spoke, "Don't give up now child…"
As much as Boe stared to his right, the darkness remained dark. "Who are you?" he enquired, "Are you causing this?"
"One question at a time young one," The musical voice tinkled at him before a bright light erupted in front. A woman's figure emerged; her hair like starlight glistened like thousands of crystals in the sunlight. She took the form of a human. Boe could tell she took a form, as there was no way a single human can exude such a strong presence. Her dress shimmered like her hair almost a similar colour but a shade darker. Boe couldn't tell where skin or dress started… nor ended. She smiled at him gently eyes crinkling and upturned nose adding to her ethereal beauty. Boe clearly being star struck didn't register what she said until now.
"But to answer your first, I am Life," she spread out her arms in a universal gesture, "I don't have a natural form but I know you would have found me very appealing, once upon a time in your past." She smiled knowingly at him.
Boe suddenly remembered a time once, when he had been Jack; flirting and laughing with many women, surrounded by a plethora of drinks. The sudden random memory startled him; he could barely remember much of his past. That was a fond memory which brought a smile to his face, "Oh I very much doubt that, you are still very attractive to me," Boe said keeping in mind that he just said that to something the equivalent of a deity.
As if reading his thoughts she laughed at him fondly. She probably could read his thoughts. When he looked at her she nodded at him. Ah…. well Boe was used to communicating telepathically.
So he asked her in his mind getting to the point, "Why am I here?"
She lost her smile at that and a serious expression came onto her face. Boe knew whatever was coming wasn't going to be any good.
"Oh Boe…I would never wish what you have on anyone," She looked pained by continued, "You are a fixed point in time, I cannot undo it."
"What does that mean," Boe asked desperately, "Am I trapped here like this forever." A sense of foreboding came upon him as he hoped fervently that wouldn't happen.
She floated closer to him bringing the light closer to him; she was the only light he could see in this never-ending darkness. She caressed his cheek her warmth seeping into his skin. "Only if you choose it."
At his confused expression she explained, "As a fixed point in time you will live forever, you cannot die. You will still live even when you have passed from the living realm, you retain your consciousness which is an essential part of who you are. You may know of this as your soul."
Now she caressed his face with both her hands, her thumbs wiping away hopeless tears dripping from his eyes. "Do not despair child, not all hope is lost."
Boe tried to regain his composure, "But I am so tired. I just want to sleep and never wake up." He sniffled face scrunching but did not pull away from the ethereal beauty in front of him.
"Don't…." She said this sternly out loud. Boe felt slightly chastised even though he was billions of years old. "You must not give in to these plaguing thoughts."
Boe's voice cracked as he spoke out loud too, "How? I will go insane if I haven't already…" He could feel the bitterness seeping out of him.
"You are not insane, you would not have saved Martha Jones and held on for so long otherwise," She tilted his face so their eyes would meet, "I will help you for I have lived far longer than you child." Boe could see the infinite wisdom and age in her eyes, "Living forever is not always a curse."
Boe suddenly remembered what she said, "You said only if I choose? What do you mean?"
"I can send you back," She whispered, her eyes twinkling in mischief, "Back to the twenty first century where everything changed. A time where you were Captain Jack Harkness."
Boe suddenly remembered a long blue military coat. "I remember only small things, I don't remember anyone I once knew but when I think of then I only remember sorrow and anguish."
"But you have fond memories to. You just don't remember them." She added, "I can help you remember and I will be with you all the way." She smiled at him encouragingly. "But I can only send you there if you want to and I assure you that living that life again will definitely be better than this darkness."
"So I will repeat my past…?" Boe clarified.
"No, I want to send you back so you can change your past," she smirked at him, strangely that expression suited her face, "Certain events happened then that brought about the extinction of the human race. As you know, the twenty first century is when everything changed."
"What if I unknowingly cause the end of the human race? Also wouldn't going back cause a paradox?" He had to know, he didn't need a larger guilty conscience than he already did.
She caressed his hair with one hand moving on from his face, "Didn't I mention?" She smirked coyly again, "I am only sending your consciousness back as you don't have a physical body. I know you will do the right thing Captain Jack Harkness."
Before Boe could reply or react she moved forward swiftly and pecked him on the lips. Her lips were warm and soft. But that was all it took when Boe felt a pulling sensation. Boe didn't have any time to be surprised. His legs were dragged backwards; he reached out for her not wanting to leave yet. "No…not yet…" It was as if he was being sucked into a vortex.
Just as her form was about to disappear as he was pulled away, he heard her voice echo with a power, "Just remember Jack…..where there is life, there is always hope."