It had been a while since he had last written anything.
Frankly, if he excluded the fifty years of enforced slumber, it had been approximately four years, four months and about eleven days since he had last done so. The journal was battered and worn, the rust-red and brown colored leather had small slits and bent corners from being overused, and being a paper-back type didn't help keep it in condition, either, and then forgotten under the harsh grasp of neglect added to its withered state.
He remembered receiving the journal as something of a birthday gift from Maria. He didn't know what a birthday was like before then, and she had done her upmost best to explain to him how it was done, and why people liked to do it. He didn't fully understand the concept of buying gifts, and receiving them unconditionally made him feel a bit awkward.
She told him giving gifts was to make others happy, and he wanted her to be happy, he decided to try and practice the activity whenever he could.
It had been only once that he and Maria celebrated their birthdays, hers for turning from twelve to thirteen, and his for having spent one year on the ARK. Professor Gerald had not been present during both, but he had left them gifts regardless of his absence, wishing them a long happy life, while he spent days in and days out, hunchbacked over the dimly-lit desk toiling with his researches and assistance staff, doing what Shadow, at the time, thought was for the good of mankind.
The secret development of the Eclipse canon.
If somehow, in the distant future, someone had told them Maria would be dead, that Gerald with his kindhearted and gentle personality, had been driven mad by the death of the very child he had spent years trying to cure, Shadow would have thrown away all reason and need to have the situation explained, and out rightly wrung their heads on the mere mention of such a tragic fate.
Just as well, the very thought was maddening. If somehow, someone from the future came and warned him, would he have listened? Would he have believed them? On what basis would he be inclined to put his trust into someone he had never met? The thoughts brought back that horrid memory…
"Shadow," the hedgehog standing before him spoke, voice low and cautious, not wanting to be heard any possible passerby, "there isn't much time. I know it sounds crazy, but you have to go back to the deck!" he pleaded, eyes focused and full of… something… something Shadow himself could not fully identify.
"Why should I believe you?" the dark hedgehog almost snarled. Defensive and aggressive, he had an overwhelming urge to reach out and strangle the intruder. "You barged in here uninvited, infiltrated the lab and copied off most of the data, sabotaged three security system mainframes with your psychic alien powers, and now, you dare order me around?" he spat, red ruby eyes shown as suppressed rage threatened to unleash itself, brutal and unmerciful.
"I have my reasons, and you have yours." The golden eyes stared back at him, unwavering, "I know there will be a time when you'll look back at this and have a completely different emotion," he said, in a pleading voice, "but I really cant bare to see you going through the same thing over and over and over!" his voice grew a notch louder, a glint of anger flickered in the depth of those golden eyes, "Shadow, I beg of you! If you won't do this for me, at least do it for Maria!"
"Don't you Dare speak her name!" the red-streaked hedgehog finally bellowed, hands flexed and curbing the urge to reach out and snap the other boy's neck, "and you are starting to test my patience! I strongly suggest you leave in one piece while you still have the chance!" he growled, deep and warning. His muscles were tight, his mind was swirling with emotions so wild, he could not sort them not control them for too long.
"But Shadow!" the white hedgehog began, persistent despite the slight shaking of his knees.
Without a warning, Shadow leaped at the white hedgehog.
In a flash, the white one vanished from his sight with a soft blue colored blink.
Shadow had never seen him again, not for another three hundred years.
No less than a few hours after that grating event, G.U.N. invaded the ARK. Maria was Shot, Gerald was captured, and Shadow was sent into space, trapped in the capsule like a lab rat.
He was lucky the capsule went through the atmosphere without shattering, he was even luckier it landed in the ocean and absorbed the fall. He was not so lucky, however, that G.U.N.'s marine forces were the ones who picked him up. Not even bothering to release him from the capsule, they dragged him into the belly of their Island and forced him into deep sleep as they locked him up in their secure system.
Devastated, putting it lightly, was the only thing that surged through his mind. Mourning the loss of his friend, regretting turning a deaf ear to the future traveler's warning. He had had so many chances, but each and every one had slipped through his grasp, unaware.
Even the chance for revenge, after his release by the Doctor's capable hands, did not feel fulfilling when it was near complete. Granting Maria's wish eased his mind somewhat, but it never fully healed the wrong he had done.
Sometimes, when he felt this down, he would wish he was dead. He wished he had died on that day in her place. She was only a child… why did it have to be that way? Why hadn't he taken the chance when offered? Why was he so… stupid!?
Because you didn't know…
Mind swirling with a tornado of disheveled thoughts and chest aching with a whirlpool of anguish, he looked at the last page written in the battered journal, a glister of a tear stung his eye.
Today, after the daily routine at the lab, for the first time since I've been on the ARK, Professor Gerald called me "My Son." I'm not sure what to feel about it, as I've… never really thought about him as a father figure. He is my mentor, in a sense, and also a friend, but not as close as Maria. I thought about asking him why he called me that, but something in the back of my mind told me I didn't need to. It was a small yet warm, pleasant feeling. I can't really describe it.
When I told Maria, she, oddly, kissed my cheek, and then laughed and said it'll make sense when I'm older. Rather uncanny of her to say that, since I'm ageless, was it not?
Maybe it'll make sense in the morning.
- Shadow the Hedgehog.
'Yes,' he thought to himself, a grim smile quirked the corner of his mouth, 'it all made sense in the morning, but many years later. When it was all already too late…' He closed the book with a sigh, put it in the toy trunk of where he had originally found it, and with one last look of sadness, closed his eyes and slowly let the shadows engulf the brown leathered book, shrouding it in black and away from his view.
What was once part of the past, is better left in the past.