Don't bother reading this first chapter if you're one of those people who want quick uploads and stuff because it is highly unlikely that I'll even touch this story for a LONG time. x.x I just wanted to upload this to see if anyone would be interested in me continuing it. If not then I definitely won't be doing anything with it for years. I know...I have no drive. x.x Oh...and you people who like romance in stories will more then likely be disappointed by this one. There is very little of that throughout the whole story. Btw, if you didn't notice this is set back when Duncan is somewhere between 7 and 8 atm.
It had been a good year since the catastrophic clash between me and my mom which resulted in her arrest and my freedom. At least…sort of. I was know confined to a stupid adoption center where all the kids went when their own parents didn't want to keep them. It was supposedly a place of hope and a chance for a new and better life, only most of the kids looked at it as if it were a jail. They felt depressed and alone and wanted nothing more then to be back with their family. I was much the same, except I only wished to see my dad again, not my mom. Yet I had no say in the matter. My dad was to traumatized by the whole situation to keep me. He was on heavy medication and supposedly 'couldn't be bothered' by a child like myself. It was better this way they said, that I'd soon see that they were right when a more wholesome family came along and took me in. I pretended to listen to them much like everyone else, but I really didn't care. I didn't want to think about another place that could just as easily abuse me like my mother had. There were, of coarse, no guarantees. Anything could happen. "Duncan, honey." One of the supervisors called to me. "There's a family here."
I rolled my eyes. There was always a family looking for something to 'fill the gap' of losing a child or something or another. After so long of going through the same process I have come to realize that it doesn't matter how 'cute' or 'sweet' you pretend to be, they all come in looking for one specific quality and the instant they spot it they grab the kid and are gone, there's no second guessing to it. And I've also come to realize that I am lacking in the quality that most people look for since I've been here longer then anyone in this hell hole, no one that was here when I was first brought here remains. In a way it makes me happy for them while simultaneously making me jealous. Did my past really make me that undesirable? I sighed, making my way slowly to the front of the adoption center so that I could present myself.
The instant I glanced the couple I knew that I didn't have a chance. They were one of those families that were perfectionists and only desired children who could follow their footsteps with ease. And I was in no shape to do so. Unless they were miracle workers I would end up like all those kids who were bullies and vandals. Not that I wanted to be, it was just a fact. "Duncan. Duncan?" I heard a voice say, but merely ignored it. I wanted to be left to my thoughts. At least that way I could pretend I was important. Anything was possible in ones own mind after all. "Duncan!" the voice said again, and this time it was impossible to ignore. It penetrated my thoughts like a knife does skin and I jumped. For a split second I thought it was my mother due to the sharp tone. People at the adoption center tried not to yell like that. "Duncan, these nice people would like to talk to you." I blinked, confused. Talk…to me…?
I nodded only slightly, moving as if I were a robot towards them. I was so happy that I might have a place to belong that I was nervous as heck. I even had the sudden need to glance back at the others. Much to my surprise they all smiled and a few even gave me thumbs up, albeit one. It was a girl, my best friend, we had been so close that I could call her family, if anything she was what kept me going all these months. If not for her I don't know what I would have done and it really did hurt to possibly be leaving her. I hesitated, offering a sympathetic smile. She seemed caught off guard but instantly returned my sentiments, making a waving movement with her hands while mouthing, 'go, it's ok.' "Duncan?" the supervisor growled irritably.
I then turned back towards my possible family, hope in my heart. As I came to a stop in front of them the mother cooed softly, "Hello, dear. What is your name?"
I made a face at such a stupid question. Had she not heard the name that had been said a million times before now? I figured that I might as well not say anything if she was going to ask something like that. So I merely stared up at her as if I had no idea what she was talking about.
I noticed that the supervisor was giving me a look that said, 'answer the question. Or do you want to stay here forever?' I grumbled lightly to myself, opting to bend to her will. Only when I opened my mouth to speak the father spoke up. "Maybe he can't talk. Most kids brought up in paces like this don't get enough attention to learn and grow." he sounded thoroughly annoyed and judgmental, I could tell he didn't want to be here. His harsh comment made my blood boil. I noticed the supervisor as well as a majority of the kids didn't take well to the comment either. "I can to talk! I'm not stupid!!" my face was set in a dark glare, mouth curved into a snarl.
The man raised a brow at my outburst. "So you can." he muttered like a know-it-all. "To bad you have little self control." he countered, a smug smile forming on his lips.
I emitted a low growl at his comment. If all he was going to do was belittle me and everyone else here why hadn't he just stayed home. "If I'm so horrible then why are you even here looking at me!?" I snapped childishly, desperate for an answer.
He looked as if he would say another clever remark only his wife swiftly cut him off. "Honey, don't mind him. He's just a little on edge is all." she reassured me. It was my turn to raise a brow this time. I knew that was complete bullshit. People who are on-edge may be quick to be defensive but they aren't assholes like he was. He was full of himself and that was all there was to it. "Now how about telling me your name?" she offered kindly, rubbing her fingers gently across my cheek. The touch shocked me slightly and I immediately jerked back. My mother used to touch me like that back when she loved me and when she was putting on an act for my dad. I didn't care if it had been a year, it was something that would plague me for years to come. I swallowed hard, beads of sweat forming on my brow. "…D-Duncan." I managed weakly, not daring to step back towards her.
She smiled a sympathetic smile, obviously already aware of my horrible past. "Come on. I'm not going to hurt you." she promised, holding her hand out for me to take hold of. I didn't know what to do. What if this too was all false cheer and insincere love much like my mothers had been? What would I do this time? I would have to endure god knows how many more years of shit once more before I had the courage to take control of the situation. "Duncan…?" she whispered, lowering herself to my level so that she could look me dead in the eye. I became stiff, being reminded of all the times my mom would do this when dad was near to threaten me in a low tone or when he was absent to signal the end of a beating. I was shaking lightly at this point. She seemed to take notice too the way her face turned grim. "It won't be like before. I'll take good care of you, I swear." she stopped. "You just have to trust me."
I was still extremely tentative, not sure of anything anymore. "…I…I…" I started in a soft tone, voice shaking slightly. Still, I slowly reached out to her and placed my hand in hers, eyes full of fear.
She wore a triumphant smile now. "Now are you ready to come home?" she questioned lightly. I didn't know if there was really a right answer to her inquiry. She was going to take me whether I wanted to or not. So, a bit reluctantly I opened my mouth to answer her when I glanced the man's intense gaze on me. It sent a shiver down my spine the way his eyes were full of hate and disdain, much like my mothers had always been whenever she thought no one was looking. It gave me the sinking feeling that things weren't going to be much different then the way they were before besides the fact the roles would be reversed. And that wasn't a very comforting thought considering men are almost always stronger then women which alluded to the fact that my mistreatment would be ten times worse. I swallowed hard once more before returning my gaze back to the sweet woman and nodding ever so slightly.
She smiled happily and even pulled me into a lose hug. I went stiff for an instant due to the contact. I was convinced the love would soon turn into hate. Only it didn't. She soon released me and this confused me. Maybe she really meant what she said. Perhaps things would be better. I was so pleased by the prospect that I allowed a small, sincere smile pass my lips for the first time in forever.
After I'd said my goodbyes to everyone and wished them all good luck I tentatively allowed the woman to take hold of my hand and lead me out of the place I'd rarely been out of since last year. It felt like so long ago that I scarcely remembered how it looked. It wasn't that much of a sight anyway, just a bunch of large rocks, boulders, and dirt. Very poorly kept if you ask me. "Here, honey. You can ride in the back of our Lincoln Navigator." I didn't really know what that was nor did I care until I set eyes on it. It was the biggest thing on four wheels I had ever seen. It was absolutely amazing and a beautiful shade of blue, kind of dark like black but still light enough to be considered blue. "It's yours too now." she added. I smiled brightly at the thought that something like this could really be mine. I swiftly swung the door open and jumped in. Then, as I saw another figure in the back I was so shocked I nearly feel back out onto the concrete. Luckily for me I was able to regain my balance just in time. I gripped my chest, breathing heavy as I situated myself in the seat. "…Who are you…?" I breathed timidly, curious. He had blonde hair that fell to the middle of his forehead that was so light it could easily be thought of as snow. His eyes were baby blue colored, complementing his hair and light complexion, and his childlike features made him seem even younger.
The boy looked me over for a good minute or two before giving me what appeared to be a disapproving look. I frowned, fear creeping up on me once more. "I'm Daniel!! Danny for short!" the young boy said excitedly, a bright broad smile spread across his face. His enthusiasm caught me off guard ever so slightly, but I quickly recovered and immediately went to thinking of his age. He actually seemed to be younger then me. "K!?!"
"O…Ok…" I stuttered.
"Well? Who are you then?" he demanded.
"D-Duncan…"
"Duncan?" he repeating, making a weird face. "Kinda weird don't ya think?" he countered, chuckling lightly.
I smiled a fake smile, a little freaked out by how much enthusiasm he managed to have.
Well, don't be scared!!" Danny exclaimed. "You're apart of the family now!! My bro!" I blinked and cocked my head to the side. Brother…? I had never had a brother before, I had barely even been a sibling to someone else. And I really try not to think about the time I was, it brings nothing but pain and guilt.
"W-What…?" I managed to ask, not sure I'd heard him right.
"My bro!! You're my big bro!!" he shrieked, getting up close in my face. I drew back instantly, his sudden close proximity scaring me and reminding me of all the times my mother had done the same. He tilted his head to the side slightly and furrowed his brow. "What's wrong with you? You act like I'm gonna bite." he laughed softly at his sad attempt at a joke.
I, however, found little humor in it, because it was pretty close to true. I was scared out of my skin that he would 'bite' and try and hurt me like so many others had already done. I scowled. "It's not funny." I then turned toward the window so that I didn't have to look at his reaction and perfect face. He had no scars, no bruises, nothing to obscure his features. It made me extremely jealous.
"Honey, leave Duncan alone. He's scared and doesn't need you smothering him right now." my 'mother' warned in a soft tone. My mother had never even considered doing so, she merely launched into a fit of rage in order to get her point across.
"Sorry mom…" Danny muttered ashamedly. I smirked to myself at his misfortune. Finally someone else was the bunt of the 'punishment'…not that something like that could be considered as such. Still, it was enough to please me. I know that sounds horrible but come on, when you look at what I've been through how can you blame me? I then noticed that Danny was looking over at me with a glare on his face. I frowned at his obvious disdain. Apparently he wasn't at all used to being told not to do something. A spoiled prince no doubt.
"Oh, come off it Charlotte. Daniel didn't do anything, the kids just being a baby." the father growled irritably.
I turned my head slightly so that I saw the man's intense stare through the rearview mirror. I swallowed hard, being reminded immensely of my mother. Her eyes had held the same fire constantly. It was a bit of a jolt to tell you the truth. For a second I was frozen and even believed that I was still trapped with my mother. But somehow I managed to snap out of it.
It was only an instant after that freaky experience that I noticed Danny mouth something to me so that his mother wouldn't hear, 'Thanks a lot' was what it was.
I stared blankly at him for a moment before turning back to the window. It was quite beautiful out there. Rolling hills and pasture like areas went on for miles. There were barely any woods and everything was bursting with life. Cows, horses, and even some goats could be seen on multiple occasions. The sounds were just as amazing, so unlike the dank, dark, gray lifeless scenery I was accustomed to at the adoption center. Things may not have gotten off to the best start ever, still I felt it wouldn't be to bad living with these strangers.
It took an hour to reach their 'home sweet home' and the trip had been full of bickering between the mother and father ever since Charlotte had opened her mouth. A fun way to start things off. "Just stop it Jim…just stop. I don't need you to do this, not now." she was flustered and doing weird things with her hands to no doubt try and calm down. I shrugged her actions off and struggled with my seatbelt. I hadn't used one of these in so long I had nearly forgotten how they worked.
"Whatever Charlotte." he growled, quickly undoing his seatbelt and opened the door so that he could slam it as hard as possible and stomp off. I frowned, this was definitely not the family I thought it'd be. They were dysfunctional as far as I could see and were no where near perfectionists. Perhaps I wasn't as good a judge of character as people at the adoption center had lead me to believe.
By now I had gotten my restrains off and was about ready to jump out of the car when Danny spoke up. "Hey…I'm sorry Duncan. I didn't mean ta scare you." he apologized, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
I nodded, not wanting to speak. I still didn't feel comfortable with any of them. I just wanted to go and find out where I was gonna sleep so I could do so and isolate myself for at least a day. I needed time to contemplate how this was going to work. I then quickly jumped to the ground and ran toward the door just for the heck of running. Unfortunately I was having so much fun with running and getting my energy out that I didn't see that there was someone in my path on the porch until I ran right into him. I stumbled back from the force of the hit and held my head until I regained full balance. Only then did I dare look up to see who it was. For an instant I believed it to be my new 'father' and cowered back pitifully. When he spoke up I jerked to attention at the realization that it was a completely different person. I couldn't believe I had been so stupid as to believe he was the father. Although his eyes were a catlike green and hair jet black just like the other their hairstyles differed drastically. His father's hair was short and well kept to show his maturity while this kid's hair reached down to the middle of his forehead and he sported a red mohawk. Another difference was that this kid had piercings on his ear, lower lip and even above his eyebrow and he wore all black clothing with skulls all over. He was obviously one of those 'bad boys.' "What do you think you are doing punk?" the boy snapped at me. He didn't sound as old as he looked and the way he was so tall made it impossible to gauge his age.
"I-I don't know…" I mumbled, still tentative.
"Well why don't you watch where you're gong next time?!" he growled much like his father would have. "That way I won't have to beat your face in." he threatened cruelly, a dark smile forming on his lips.
His threat did nothing to improve my state of mind. It only made me want to be back at the adoption center with people I knew and trusted. Of coarse I would probably not get a chance like this for years to come if I followed through with such a fantasy but it still sounded tempting. "Dylan!" I heard the mom snap. "What are you doing? You aren't tormenting poor Duncan are you? I told you to be nice for ONCE in your life."
"Aww, mom, I ain't doing nothing, not this time. I promise!" he half whined, flashing a alluring smile at her in hopes of leading her to believe he was telling the truth.
"You better not be. Duncan is part of the family now, and as such I expect you to treat him like so." she stated firmly, Dylan obviously wasn't her favorite. I might even say she liked me more then him. Which was kinda sad when you think about it.
"Mom, you worry to much. Why would I ever do anything to hurt him? He is my bro after all." he lied through his teeth, moved over beside me and slung his arm around my shoulder. The unexpected contact made me jump in my skin and practically stop breathing.
My mom apparently was to dumb to notice that and the fact that Dylan was being a liar either that or she didn't care because she rolled her eyes and turned on her heel to go back inside.
I too rolled my eyes at his suck up routine, only I wasn't allowed the luxury of leaving. The instant that our mother was out of sight he removed his arm from my shoulder, took hold of my collar and slammed me semi-hard against the wall of the house. The force made me grunt softly and catch my breath. This was all to much like the way my mother had treated me. I shut my eyes tight and tried my best not to look up into his eyes. I knew if I did then I would see the same fire in his eyes that were in my real mother's and his father. "Stop being a baby!" he yelled coldly, uncaring about the way I felt. It was then that I foolishly half opened my eyes to glance up at him, the smile had left his face and a dark scowl replaced it and, just as I had expected, his eyes were full of blind fury. "Now listen to me and you listen good. You in no way belong in this family and no one wants you here! You are a nothing little piece of shit who's stealing what little affection my parents give me away! So if you know what's good for you you'll stay cooped up in your room and stay away from me! Unless you want me to kick your ass from here to Kansas and back!" he snarled viciously, meaning every word he said. "Understand?!?" he spat. I nodded, whimpering lightly to myself, but I was sure he could hear it too because when he loosened his grip he made a mocking remark. "And you don't have to cry about it, it's not like I'm a snake…" he muttered exasperatedly, turning before glancing backwards and adding. "…Scar face…" My eyes grew wide with shock and hurt, tears clear as day. I had barely met him and yet he was already treating me like dirt. Maybe he was right, maybe I didn't belong here. He definitely didn't care about me and would probably wind up killing me in my sleep. The thought brought back even more horrid memories, only I was to shaken and preoccupied with watching him go to care all that much.
Once I was sure he wasn't going to turn back I collapsed to my knees on the concrete and buried my head in my hands. He was just as bad as my mother and might as well of been her incarnation. Of coarse that was my luck, of all the families that I could have went with this one had to be the one with the dickhead that found no greater pleasure then screwing with me. It was the biggest bunch of shit ever.
I sat there crying for what felt like forever before I felt a pair of strong hands take hold of my arms and pull me to my feet. Out of instinct I screamed and kicked at the figure. Shortly after, he released one of my arms in order to attempt to block my kicks from hitting an undesirable place. I took the opportunity to slap at him. Of coarse my action did little good and I soon ran out of steam. "Are you done now?" the boy growled irritably, shooting me a disapproving look. It was then that I took a moment to observe his appearance. He had brown hair that was about as short as the father's and his eyes were also a shade of brown. He didn't look like either of the parents and it made little sense. His dressing style also seemed to differ from the other two children. He didn't wear punk or childlike garb, he wore a shirt that was a solid color and denim jeans. Very plain.
"M…Maybe…" I breathed, eyes to the ground from fear and shame combined.
"Maybe?" he mimicked, raising a brow. "I hope so. I don't want to have to hurt you since you are my baby brother." I perked at this revelation. Him…my brother too…? Could it really be? Did I really go from no siblings to three in a day? "You ARE my brother aren't you?" he questioned lamely. I wasn't sure if it was meant to be a rhetorical question or not, but regardless I nodded slowly in reply. He chuckled softly, "You're a shy one aren't ya." he paused, a small smile present on his features as he finally released his grip on my arms. I didn't respond. "Well, no matter. Being here you'll have to open up more, it's impossible not to. I would know, being the oldest and all." he sounded pretty confident in his words, although I seriously doubted him and his supposed 'wisdom'. He knew nothing more then all the other people in his family. Still, I figured I might as well pretend to trust him. I needed someone that I could string along, unlike Danny, who was to young and stupid, and definitely not dumbass Dylan. This was as good as I was gonna get besides maybe the mother. "Ok?" he inquired, voice rather distant and even a bit slurred while his smile had faded into a light frown.
I shook my head slightly, blinked a couple of times and stared blankly up at him. I had completely zoned out on him and didn't quite know what was going on. I was rather lost. "…what…?" I said timidly, rubbing my eyes to rid myself of a sudden sleepiness.
"I asked if you were ok." he sounded worried and his voice had returned to normal.
"Oh…yeah." I said hurriedly, showing a fake smile. It was pathetic how lame I looked, but at this point I wasn't as adept at lying and deceiving others.
He looked at me as if he were scrutinizing every detail of my face in order to verify if I was telling the truth or not. "…don't lie to me." he warned, giving me a critical look.
I glared up at him. "I'm not!!" I yelled louder then I had said anything all day.
He acted like he would bite back, but decided against it, sighed, and said in a much softer tone. "I just don't want another liar in this family…" he trailed off, mind finding something else to focus on. I took the opportunity to bolt from in front of him, through the front door and into the house. A moment after my hasty action I realized he hadn't told me is name. Still I didn't care enough to go back and figure it out. I was more intent on finding the mother and getting her to tell me where the hell I was sleeping. I ran up one hall and down the other, opening every door I passed. The place seemed dead. I sighed irritably, slowing down to a walk as I came upon the flight of stairs that lead to the second floor. Shit…stairs. Ever since that horrible day I've hated them with a fiery passion. They were nearly as bad as my mother. I swallowed hard, staring up them with a fearful expression. If I wanted to find my way around I'd have to go up there. Might as well be now rather then later. So I slowly took one step at a time up the stairs until, about 2 minutes later, I reached the top. I just stood there looking blankly into the darkness for a time, afraid of what lied in it's depths. I had never been a big fan of the dark period, and the things my mother had forced upon me hadn't helped. So the thought of going deeper into this pitch black setting wasn't making me in any way at ease. Still, for some odd reason I found myself walking forward, like my legs had a mind of their own, a mind which pushed me onward.
As I went I peeked in each room just for the heck of it regardless of the fact I couldn't see a thing. I basically had to feel my way along the wall to keep from running into something. I went on like this for a while, oblivious to my fears. I was enticed by the darkness so much that I couldn't have, even if I'd wanted to, turned and went back down the stairs. I had to keep going. Only a minute after there was a sharp right turn that caught me off guard and, due to the sudden end in the wall, just about made me fall. Still, I was able to regain my balance in a split second and slowly continued on down the dark hallway to meet whatever was waiting for me. I whimpered. There was a strange aurora about this place that not only attracted me but gave me the sinking feeling that this was the last place I needed to be. The feeling was so strong that it scared me to think of what it was that was sending me the message. I grit my teeth as I crept on, finding only a minute after that I had once again ran out of wall and was at the foot of yet another set of stairs. I stared up in wonder, never dreaming that such a large house could exist, let alone be mine. I was rather intrigued. The house hadn't looked this big on the outside and I could only imagine what the heck was up there.
So, with wide eyes and mouth agape I took a tentative step onto the first stair. The instant I did so I felt something take hold of shoulder, pull me back, and turn me to face them. I was so shocked that I could do nothing but draw in a breath and stare back with fear struck eyes. It was just like all the times with my mother that I was tempted to believe it was her. That is until the figure spoke. "Duncan, honey, what are you doing all the way up here?" his adoptive mother questioned with a hint of fear.
Regardless of the fact I now knew I was in no imminent danger my breathing was elevated and I had to grip my head to keep calm. "I-I…I was just…" I stuttered, petrified.
I couldn't see it, but I felt her smile slightly at me before loosening her grip on my shoulder. "You don't need to be up here. There's nothing that will interest you in the least." She sounded just as afraid as I was. Why she was scared at all was a mystery to me. One that made me want to explore beyond here even more.
"I…was…just looking for you." I responded cautiously, not wanting to say the wrong thing that might set her off. It seemed that was the one thing I was good at.
She sighed, "Ok, baby. Just remember, I'll never be farther up then this floor." she said softly, touching her hand to my skin gently. Despite her attempt at appearing calm I sensed that something was terribly wrong. She was scared of something…I just didn't know what. Whatever it was she seemed resolute in keeping me from it.
I frowned, "But…mom…" I breathed, the word 'mom' feeling foreign to me, almost like another language all together. I had never called my parents such a thing. I found it to be to endearing and more then they deserved. "Why can't I look…?" I started, being cut off shortly after.
I felt her hand tense. "You just don't. There's nothing up there." her voice held an edge that made me even more curious.
"But…" I began foolishly. I shouldn't known better then to question further.
"I said no! Don't go anywhere near there!" she snapped, drawing her hand back and scowling darkly.
I jumped back a step, forgetting I was on the stairs, and fell down on my butt. It jolted me, but I was more concerned with the fact my 'mother' had just snapped at me. I cowered pitifully in my fallen position, whimpering ever so slightly as well.
I couldn't tell if she was really sorry or not, but going by her voice she wasn't to pleased with herself. "Aw, honey, I'm sorry. I never meant to…" she apologized, reaching out for me.
I instantly drew back, fearful of her and her touch much like I had been at the start. And as if to reinforce the fact I didn't want her anywhere near me I shook my head hurriedly back and forth in the negative.
She remained silent for a time as if she were contemplating her next move. When she finally decided upon the proper action she whispered, "Please, Duncan. Don't take it personally. I just want you to be happy." she half begged as she offered me her hand.
I was still extremely hesitant about trusting her so short a time after she had acted like she had. Granted it was nothing compared to the way my mother had acted out when I'd questioned her and her will. It was just an instinct I'd developed after so many years of abuse and, even after so many years of being away from the she-devil, it was hard to let the impulse go like that. However, a minute later, I found myself lifting a hand that had been supporting me from the stairs and slowly reached out to touch hers.
I once again felt her smile at her accomplishment and even felt a flicker of happiness within myself. I suppose it was because I had never felt even the slightest bit loved since I was born and to know that this woman was happy at such a small thing as my forgiveness was quite an occurrence. "Thank you for understanding." she cooed, closing her hand around mine. "Now come child." she half ordered, starting off in the opposite direction of the stairs and dragged me along all the while.
I wanted to resist her pull and slip away in the direction of the stairs but at the same time I didn't want her to get upset and snap at me again. That was the last thing I needed right now. I was already so on edge that anything under the sun would be enough to send me into a panicked frenzy and possibly cause a mental breakdown. And the latter would truly be a horrible experience. I hadn't had one of those since I had first started living at the adoption center. The place had soon allowed me to keep my dreadful feelings and memories under control enough so that they were no longer so much of a threat to me. And I would like it to stay that way.
I didn't say a word the rest of the way nor did I open my mouth when we ran into Dylan the bully. Although I did shrink back behind the mother and whimper lightly to myself. I know she didn't notice in the least, but Dylan did. He smirked darkly at me and mouthed something. I didn't want to know what he said so I didn't bother decoding the message, just averted my eyes until I was sure we had passed him. Then, a few minutes later, we were entering a room that I was sure I had not went into yet. It was sparsely decorated with only a wooden dresser and a bed. There was, however, a bright red rug on the floor and a chandelier of the sorts on the ceiling and the walls were a light blue which was quite a contrast to the dark floor. I didn't mind in the least, it was much nicer then any room in the adoption center. I was entranced by the room's size so much that I barely acknowledged the mother speaking until her voice was rather high pitched. "Duncan! Are you listening to me?" she sounded slightly irritated. I jumped at how loud she was because, like I said before, I was in one of those moods where anything would scare me. Only, this time seemed different, kind of like earlier with that older boy. I had focused so much on the room that I had zoned out. It was weird. My head felt weird too.
"W-What…?" I breathed as I looked up at her.
She sighed lightly, releasing her hold on my hand to run her fingers gently across my cheek. I recoiled, still unsure about her. She seemed ok, but at the same time she gave off a vibe similar to my real mothers'. "This is you room now. I know it's not much, but it's what we've got." she muttered, smiling softly towards me.
I mostly ignored her kindness, but couldn't help but smile a little back. No matter what she thought, this room was amazing. And I was sure that it would get more furnished and feel more like home soon. It was just a matter of time. Then, since I once again didn't feel like saying anything I decided to 'float' away from her side and into the room that was now mine. I did, however, glance back a moment later to make sure she wasn't upset by my silence. Much to my surprise she didn't react badly, in fact she was already absent. I blinked once or twice before turning back to inspect my room. Of coarse there wasn't much to 'inspect', but I did find it interesting that there were many cobwebs and even a thin layer of dust on the floor and walls. It still wasn't enough to hold my attention for more then a moment. I yawned. I was pretty tired. Perhaps now would be a good time to rest, I had been through a lot today. I walked over to my bed and stared at it a moment before gingerly lifting the covers up and sitting at the edge of it. It was pretty comfortable…I guess. I shrugged, fluffing the pillow as I slid to the center of the tiny bed, proceeding to lay down shortly after. Wow…very nice. The pillow was so soft that I doubted I needed to fluff it at all and the covers were so thick that there wasn't an inch of me that was left cold. I sighed, this was amazing. I couldn't believe how well off these people were and I couldn't quite comprehend that this was going to be my lifestyle now. Regardless of the way the events of today had occurred I felt nothing but pure bliss. It was the happiest I'd ever been and the feeling was soon enough to lull me into a deep sleep…
It felt like it had been a mere moment of sleep when I opened my eyes. I was in a house…my new house. I didn't really want to get up, but I did. It was freezing and I instinctively wrapped my arms around my body. Still it did little good, I felt like I was in a freezer. So I decided to try and chase the cold away by walking around the house some more. It was extremely dark now though. I could see even less then before and it perturbed me ever so slightly. Still, I didn't care enough to go back to bed and try to sleep some more. I continued to walk through the dark house and into what I figured was the kitchen. It was actually brighter then the other rooms because there was a small light above the stove that was giving off a bit of light. The fact that it was less dark must've been what drew me nearer to it, I wasn't really sure, but once I was in the middle of the room I suddenly felt a feeling of impending doom creep up on me. It sent a shiver down my spine and, just like that, the cold air was a thing of the past. I no longer cared about it enough for it to bother me. Of coarse it wasn't much of a condolence since in it's place was a horrible fear. And I now felt myself shaking from fear instead of cold. I decided since the kitchen was what was most likely making me feel this was that I should leave. And I did. I was out of there in the blink of an eye and back at the foot of the staircase. I wasn't really sure how I'd got there, but that really didn't matter. The point was that I was here.
I turned to head back when the horrible feeling hit me again. It was like whatever it was was following me. I grit my teeth. I needed to just go back to my room while I was ahead, only the wide open space that had been around the stairs was suddenly a narrow one way hallway. I shook my head back and forth while simultaneously rubbing my eyes to see if this was really real. Unfortunately for me it appeared to be. I was really scared now, breathing slightly elevated. Even though I didn't want to go into the dark hall I knew I had no other choice. If I went up I'd be in more trouble because I'd soon run into the next stairway which I now knew was forbidden. So I started off at a slow place, gazing around as I went, not wanting something to pop out and me not see it until it was to late.
As I neared the end of the hall I breathed a sigh of relief. Nothing had threatened me and I was so close to my room now. I sped up my pace so that I would feel safer sooner. And I actually made it to my room in one piece. It was a miracle. To bad the miracle was short lived. I froze. In the corner of my room loomed a shady figure. I didn't know for sure who it was and I really didn't want to. But I did realize that whoever this person was they were someone I had at least seen at one point in time. They were giving off a familiar vibe and, to make things worse, one that I dreaded. I swallowed hard, still unable to move…until the figure moved out of the shadows and spoke, "Hello, Duncan, baby. I've missed you…" it was said with obvious sarcasm and hate because I knew that the voice could be no other then my demented mother. Hearing her voice again sent a chill up my spine and was enough of a surprise to jolt me out of my frozen position and get me going in the opposite direction. I didn't know why she was here and I really didn't care. All I knew was that I needed to get the hell away from here before I ended up reliving my past. For a time she didn't say anything, in fact I didn't hear her at all, not even footsteps. Yet somehow she winded up a foot in front of me a minute or so later. It came as a surprise to me and I was forced to make a quick stop. "Come now, honey. Didn't you miss me…?" once again her voice held malice and jest. I scowled up at her, but didn't bother screaming. I figured I could run fast enough to escape her. Of coarse I couldn't. She once again managed to appear in front of my path. It went like this for some time, me running and her magically catching up. I soon found myself completely out of breath and back in the kitchen. The vibe was strong in there, almost as if to tell me this was where I was to meet my downfall. Right on queue there she was, hovering over me with her trademark sneer. I tried to stand tall and be strong but considering the circumstances it was extremely difficult. "What's the matter Dunkie…? Are you tired after all that running?" I glowered up at her, breathing heavy. I hated her and the way she continued to toy with me, if she was going to hurt me why didn't she do it already? "Come now child, don't look at your mother that way." she said less playful and more serious, reaching her hand out to take my chin in her hand. The moment she touched me I reacted the only way I knew how, I snapped at her. Of coarse I missed, but just the action was enough to semi-please me.
"You little shit!!" she screamed, taking me by the arm in one swift movement. I took in a breath at her action, unable to do anything else from shear fear. "I thought I told you to behave like a good boy! And good boys don't hit or bite!! So you know what happens when you disobey me…" she growled cruelly, her sapphire eyes dancing with pure disgust and loathing. I was so petrified that I could barely breath anymore. Then, remembering that I wasn't in her house I opened my mouth to scream. Only nothing came out, I was mute. This made my hysteria even worse. I could think no more. "And don't you dare scream." she snarled, bringing me close to her face as she dug her fingernails deep into my skin. "And this time I won't let you go." she hissed, a wicked smile forming on her features.It was then that a felt something rising in my throat and before I knew it a loud scream erupted from my throat and I jolted awake…
I shot up in bed, breathing heavy, beads of sweat dotting my forehead, and a panic controlling me. I soon found that I was no where near where I had been in what must've been my dreams but it still didn't do much good in consoling me. I was so frightened that I couldn't help but search my body for open wounds, specifically the arm where she had dug her fingernails. Much to my relief there wasn't even a scratch. I breathed a heavy sigh before burying my head in my hands. I was shaking badly at this point and tears had even formed in my eyes. It was the worst I had felt since a good year ago and I could safely classify it as a mental breakdown. I figured it was due to moving from a place I had been comfortable at and well adjusted to a place I barely knew and was full of family members that could easily push me around and abuse me all over again. I knew two in particular that would be likely candidates. Such knowledge was definitely making the situation worse too.
"Duncan…?" I heard a voice say softly. Since I was in such a frenzy I didn't bother responding, merely tried to muffle my sobs in case it was the father. I knew he'd mock me and call me a baby. "Duncan…did you scream…?" the voice came again, this time closer. I whimpered lightly to myself, not wanting anyone near me right now. Soon after I felt the bed shift with the persons weight and I scrunched my legs up close to myself and wrapped my arms around them in order to curl in on myself even more. I heard a sigh. "…Duncan…" the person whispered, placing a hand on my shoulder. The action was slight but, after such a trauma inducing dream, even that was enough to make me jump so much that I fell out of bed. I wasn't prepared enough to catch my balance either. I hit my head hard on the wood floor, yelping on impact. This only served to increase my distress and my whines soon turned into high pitched cries.
The person was down by my side in an instant and picked me up into a sitting position before gently lifting me up onto his lap. "Shh…Duncan, calm down. It's ok." he whispered in my ear, his grip on my stomach area tight. His voice was more soothing then I thought it could be and it tickled my ear, still it wasn't enough to cure me of my fit. Sometimes, back at the beginning of my time at the adoption center, I had to be given sedatives to calm my nerves and end my breakdowns. Some would say it was a disease of the mind and they'd probably be right.
I was still so perturbed that I emitted a full fledged scream, kicking and hitting at the person. "NOO!!!! Get away from me!!!" I cried stubbornly.
I knew this ticked off the person but I was so miserable that I couldn't care less. "Duncan." he said in a more urgent tone. "Stop screaming or you'll wake up dad." oddly enough he said nothing about my other actions. Perhaps he really was genuine in his concern. That and the fact his father would come if I didn't shut up was enough to get me to refrain from screaming and get me to stop hitting at him. "Good…now try calming down a little more." he whispered again in my ear. This time the action sent a shiver down my spine and reminded me of a time when I was but a year old and my mother had had her head on straight. She used to do it to calm me down when nothing else seemed to work. It worked like a charm too. It was the only good thing she ever did for me. Still, I was so upset that I couldn't keep my tears, sobs, or whimpers under control. "Come on, kid." he seemed to beg, loosening his tight hold on my waist in order to place a hand on the back of my head. In a way this scared me more, but I was to troubled to do anything about it. "Can you at least tell me what happened…?" he asked in a hushed voice, proceeding to run his fingers through my hair as if to soothe.
By some miracle the action started to work and my sobs began to ebb. Of coarse the second I attempted to answer, the pain the memory brought me made it worse again. "She…she came t-to get m-me! She wanted…t-to…h-hurt me again…and I-I was trapped!!" I yelped, stuttering horribly due to my sobs.
"…Who…?" he inquired, confused.
"M-Mom…" I breathed as if it were a curse, eyes wide with fear. "…My r-real mom…" it was at this point that I didn't care who was with me or if they even cared, I was so sad that I needed a shoulder to cry on and twisted around in order to thrust my head onto his shoulder and throw my arms around his neck, convulsing increasing in severity.
"Duncan…I don't know what happened…but I do know that your mom won't be anywhere near you anymore. You don't have to worry." he was even so bold as to tenderly wrap his arm around my back and hug me.
"Y-You…don't…don't know t-that!" I whined, nuzzling into the crook of his neck despite my limited trust of him. For some reason he gave off a vibe different from the others and because of it I found it ten times easier to allow myself to be vulnerable in his presence.
"You're right…" he admitted, sighing softly. "But I do know that if she gets anywhere near you I won't be the one to let her touch you." he seemed confident in his words and strangely sincere. I wanted to object and give some sort of comeback but I was to drained. And somehow his words did make me feel better and I slowly but surely calmed down, sobs once again ebbing, whimpers ceasing, and tears slowing. "That's it…you'll be ok…" the person muttered in a strained tone. I felt that his pained tone had something to do with me, but even though I felt more strongly about him and safer I still didn't care enough to ask if he too was ok.
"T-Thanks…" I murmured into his shirt, sleep taking a hold of me once more. I needed to rest. It's the way it always had to be after a panic attack such as this.
"No problem little buddy. You are apart of this family." he said sweetly, much like his mother would have. He seemed to have the same kindness as her, unlike Dylan.
I smiled to myself, content with the way this was playing out. Before I knew it he had raised to his feet and had placed me back on my bed. This scared me. I didn't want to go to sleep at all, but knowing that it was inevitable I much rather preferred waking up with someone I felt safe with him next to me. I whined, reaching my arms out toward him as if I were a toddler.
He cocked his head. "What is it?" he paused, a soft smile passing his lips. "Do you wanna sleep with me tonight?" I shook my head up and down furtively. It would be the one thing he could do that would insure I would be ok for the rest of the night. He chuckled lightly, wiping a tear from my face. "Ok…but only tonight." he 'warned', lifting me up off the bed and into a cradle like position. It made me feel like a baby but for once I really didn't care. If being a baby meant I got extra affection then I was all for it.
Before I knew it we were in what must've been his room. It was to dark to really see anything, but I knew he had much more in his room then I did. He was of coarse a teenager and had lived here for a longer time. I yawned, nuzzling into his shirt.
It was only a minute later that he had successfully positioned himself in the bed, drawn the covers over the both of us and rolled over on his side. I stared at his back for a good amount of time before actually doing anything. It was then that I tentatively scooted closer and snuggled up to him. It wasn't all that comfortable or 'nice', but it did help soothe me as well as suppress the memories. Still, no matter how much I felt it helped, I made sure not to get to close or move to much in case it would wake him up and have him at my throat like Dylan. It's not like I really believed he would do that…I was just being careful. It's the way I was.
I was awakened by the bright sun that streamed in through the window opposite the bed. I was a bit surprised by it too. I had been so shaken and sleepy last night that I suppose I had merely missed it. I shrugged, stretching out my limbs in order to fully wake myself up, frowning a moment after. I should have hit something by now, but I did not. Where could my 'brother' have gone? Was he really so stupid as to leave someone as mentally unstable as me alone? These thoughts made it increasingly hard to keep my cool and I found myself unable to stop fidgeting and biting at my nails. I continued to do said action for a good amount of time, oblivious to all else.
It was soon after I had quieted my mannerisms that I noticed that I wasn't as alone as I had thought previously. Dylan had apparently walked in while I was focusing on my fear. He was leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed and a devious smile plastered on his face. "Hello, brother dear." he said mockingly. I scowled over at him. He laughed in return, somehow finding amusement in my anger. "What's with the face?" he questioned stupidly.
I didn't say a word. I didn't feel like talking to him after the way he had treated me yesterday. So instead I settled on sticking my tongue out at him.
He barely reacted to my gesture, smile never faltering. "Stop acting like such a baby, baby." he muttered coolly.
My scowl deepened at his words as did my frown. "Stop it." I growled lightly.
"So you can speak. After yesterday I didn't think you were man enough to talk back at all." he paused. "But I'm afraid that's not gonna happen. I don't listen to babies." he was mocking me once more.
I was getting worked up again too. That seemed to be a common occurrence now that I had changed settings and lifestyles. Every little thing was magnified in intensity to me. "I'm not a baby!" I knew the look in my eyes was desperate and was screaming for him to please leave me alone. I felt pathetic.
He chuckled. "You are too being a baby. Only babies get that defensive over being accused. If you weren't a baby you would have just shrugged it off and ignored me." he flashed me a devilish smile that jolted me. That smile…it was so much like mom's that it was scary. I shivered.
"L-Leave me alone…" I half begged.
"No, I don't think I will. But thanks for the offer." he teased, laughing to himself over his stupid 'joke' before he left his position against the doorframe and walked lackadaisically over to the bedside.
"I said go away!!" I shrieked, tears stinging my eyes.
I knew my threat meant nothing to him and he was in no way scared by my anger as he bent over a little in order to take my chin in his hand and say, "What really makes you a baby is the fact you can't even get over one stupid nightmare. Seriously, get over yourself."
I jerked my head from his hand and scowled up at him.
He snorted softly at my act and started to walk toward the door. Only he paused at the exit and turned back toward me to hiss. "And don't think your little display of 'anger' scares me. I'm not afraid of you. In fact, it's quite the opposite. You're the one who should be afraid of me." All humor had instantly vanished and the situation had become quite serious.
I swallowed hard, perking up as I saw the eldest brother standing behind Dylan with his arms crossed. I was relieved.
"Dylan." he growled. "What are you doing in my room? I've told you a million times to never step foot in here." I wondered if all he really cared about was his room or if it was his way of saying he was worried about me too.
"Nothin' Korey, honest. I was just leaving anyway." Dylan insisted, voice suddenly fearful. Oh…Korey was his name then. It was the only one that didn't start with a D. I wondered if there was a reason for that but really didn't care enough to trouble myself.
"That better be true." his eyes then flickered from Dylan to me for a fraction of a second. "And you better not have been messing with Duncan." his voice was even more stern then before.
"Oh, come on! What's with everybody and protecting that little brat! He's not even part of this family and he gets more attention then me!!" Dylan whined. What a brat. "I mean COME ON!! He's not worth it!"
"Just get out of my room." Korey said coolly.
Dylan growled lightly at him, shot one last vicious look my way and continued on his way out the door.
Korey sighed. "Sorry about that, kid. It's his way of getting attention." he chuckled, a hint of worry flickering across his face.
I shrugged, not caring much anymore. I was happy enough at seeing Dylan be the one that was scared instead of me.
"Well, we can't stay in here all day." he said gently as he walked over to the bedside and easily lifted me up into his arms just like last night. "So, we'll eat first." he said matter of factly.
I nodded in the affirmative, smile gracing my lips for the first time all day. And it was at this moment that I could say without a doubt that I was truly happy and I could not have asked for more…
Please review!!! I want to know what you think of the start! I know it was kinda long, but that just makes it better...right?