I do not own JKR's characters. I don't own Death Cab for Cuties Song. Anything you DON'T reckonize is mine. M'kay?

I hope you like this…It's not my best.

Chapter 1-

You may tire of me as our December sun is setting
'Cause I'm not who I used to be
No longer easy on the eyes
These wrinkles masterfully disguise
The youthful boy below
who turned your way and saw
Something he was not looking for
Both a beginning and an end
But now he lives inside someone he does not recognize
When he catches his reflection on accident

On the back of a motor bike
With your arms outstretched trying to take flight
Leaving everything behind
But even at our swiftest speed
We couldn't break from the concrete
In the city where we still reside
And I have learned
That even landlocked lovers yearn
For the sea like navy men
'Cause now we say goodnight
From our own separate sides
Like brothers on a hotel bed – "Brothers on a Hotel Bed, by Death Cab for Cutie.

Sirius Black liked to smoke. In fact, it was believed that Sirius' first and only love was cigarettes. He would do anything to smoke a cigarette if he felt that craving. Hell, he'd even stop fucking someone just to take a drag. It was a talk of gossip throughout the school, why Sirius Black smoked so much. As if Sirius needed reason to do anything. He was just so handsome and…cool that men and women alike would do whatever he asked of them. Thanks to Sirius Black, the sexual orientation known as 'bisexual' spread throughout Hogwarts within the 7 years we'd been here. It was the fasting growing 'disease', right after genital herpes. Not that anyone got those from Sirius. The funny thing is, Sirius isn't bisexual. He may have spread the craze with everyone fawning over him, but he has never given any of the guys in Hogwarts a time of the day. Still, they all wait for him, just like I do.

I don't really wait for him, because I, unlike the other wishful blokes, know it will never happen. I just…dwell on him. I think about him. It's hard not to when you sleep in the same dorm as him, and you spend almost every bloody moment of your day with him. Christ, we even brush our teeth together. If that's not the meaning of close, then I don't know what is. I guess the difference between him and I brushing our teeth together and you and your friend is- you don't have gigantic canines that look as if they'll rip you to shreds. I do. It takes an amazing friend to stand next to someone like me, a werewolf, and spit cinnamon scent toothpaste into a sink. Especially because the scent of cinnamon makes me want to smother my lips against his. Cinnamon and chocolate can send my senses reeling almost as much as Sirius can. The scent of those mixed with his own, personal smell would kill me…They do, slowly. Day by day.

This morning we have chocolate chip pancakes. And I'm sitting next to Sirius Black. I close my eyes and inhale deeply.

"Moony, you're orgasming all over your pancakes." I glared evilly at James Potter, who poked fun at my obsession. Of course, he only knew about my fascination of chocolate, not with the dark haired sex god next to me. But it still wasn't funny. Sirius found it hysterical though. I sighed and shook my head. See, what's weird about me is that I come across to people as a sensible, intelligent person. I think I'm bloody insane. There are so many impure thoughts running through my head and they mate with my random thoughts, in return (we all know what happens when things have sex) they produce childish thoughts. But at the same time, I'm one logical arse. When it comes down to it, I'm an intellectual bloke. It makes no sense, even to someone like me. And now, I just want my pancakes, so I'll stop going on about how intelligent I am.

"Padfoot, that crude joke was surprisingly, not as funny as you think. Pass me the hot fudge." Only at our special 'Marauder' part of the table, will you find hot fudge instead of maple syrup on the days the house elves serve chocolate chip pancakes. They know we like our chocolate served with chocolate. Taking the ladle, I drowned my pancakes in hot fudge and then unceremoniously dug in. James and Sirius, who usually consumed more food then me, commented on my eating.

"Ah, Padfoot, look at Moony! All grown up and eating like a big man."

"Relax, Moony, your food isn't going to disappear." And right as I brought another swallow up to my lips, it did. I glared evilly at Padfoot. This was one of the few times I felt angrier then all hell at him, despite his good looks a lovable nature. "I didn't do it!" He shouted. Of course he didn't do it, look how his adorable eyes shined with truth. I looked at James who shrugged. I then glanced at Peter, who held traces of hot fudge dripping down his chin. I then looked at his completely finished plate and mine.

"I'm sorry." Peter apologized. "The hot fudge was too far away to fix myself some more." I sighed heavily, and then grabbed another pancake. Welcome to 'Mornings with the Marauders'. On today's show, Wormtail, the wizarding pig will finish everything in sight! Prongs, our Dr. Love, will show us how NOT to woo the ladies with Lily Evans as his assistant, Dr. Padfoot will give us some astounding new facts about the dangers of cigarette smoke, and the ever ready Moony will show us four thousand different ways to eat chocolate. Stay tuned.

"Guys, I'm full. I'm going to go smoke a cigarette." Sirius mumbled to us all, standing up. I lost my appetite when Peter ate my food off my on plate. James was still stuffing his face, his cheeks swollen. I silently wondered if his cheeks were puffy from the amounts of food or if his arrogance was finally catching up to him. I laughed and stood as well.

"Mind if I join you, Pads?" I asked. He grinned and shook his head, his long hair so casually smacking his cheeks. If I could paint a picture, that would have been a winner. But alas, I cannot. I have no artistic ability what so ever. I grabbed my school bag and walked out beside Sirius, trying my best not to smile at the boys and girls around us who glared at me while looking utterly heart broken. In fact, I had to try my best not to skip. My smile didn't go unnoticed, not from Padfoot.

"Why are you smiling all of a sudden?" He asked. It wasn't one of those 'what the hell are you doing!' tones. Merely an 'I'm interested' tone.

"Chocolate has antioxidants. They make you cheerful." I bluffed. He didn't question me. He rarely did when it came to things like that. I could tell him Hitler had a cat named Muffin and he'd believe me. For some reason, just because I was 'the most thoughtful and wise person' in our group, I was automatically trusted with everything I said. Sometimes I just wanted to see how much bull I could get away with.

"Okay then. Want a fag?" Sirius offered.

"I'm not a fag." I said, quickly.

"Never accused you of being one, I offered you a cigarette. So...how about it?"

"No thanks." I said, as smoothly as a guy who practically admitted his homosexuality to his ideal partner, though his ideal partner was a straight, Adonis of their school year. He just grinned his usual heart-melting smile and continued to smoke in our silence, standing next to each other in the nippy November morning. I shuttered.

"Here." He said, in almost a chivalrous manner. But I knew to well to think of it as that. He shrugged his cloak off his shoulders and then gave it to me with the hand that was not holding his cigarette to his plush lips. His coat was warm from his body heat...Holy hormones, Batman! Look what you've gotten yourself into...A deep Black hole...Oiy. I make too many puns.

"Thanks." I whispered. I knew why he gave it too me. The guys teased me about eating today because they were so glad to see me eat my full. It had been almost a full three months since I did that. I wasn't an eater unless there was something I was particularly fond of. We hadn't had chocolate for breakfast since the second day. Anyways, Sirius must've assumed that with my lack of body fat, I needed to be keep warm. So here I am, in a cloak that is slightly too big (and too nice looking) to be Remus Lupin's. That's the first time I admitted my name to you. I, Remus Lupin, am an intellectual man. I, Remus Lupin, am slightly in love with Sirius Black. I, Remus Lupin, should be liking girls. The only logical conclusion is that I, Remus Lupin, have gone completely sixes and sevens. Moony is howling with mirth...Another one, damn it. I had to string my thoughts back together to assume my role as the official Marauder timer. "Sirius, class starts in 10 minutes. We better go." I said, simply. He nodded.

"To be perfectly honest, I'd rather skive off charms and just stay out here." He said.

"To be perfectly honest, so would I. But if we want to pass NEWTS, we better go to class."

"And there is the studious Remus I know. C'mon then-" he threw his cigarette filter over the edge "let's go off to charms." One thing that drives me insane about Sirius- when we're alone, he calls me Remus. It's so...intimate. I'll dream about us...together. And he never once calls me Moony. It's a life of Sirius and Remus, together, forever...Though as a logical man I know forever does not exist. Nothing is forever. But there's that one part of me that just wants to be his nothing if that means we'd last for infinity and beyond. There's a romantic side to me. But I don't like to share it. It hurts rather then calms me. Because there's one true thing about being how I am- I'm not accepted. Not only as being a half-breed, but also as being a queer. That's why I've kept it to myself, and only myself. Werewolves; the Marauders can deal with: but gays? That's asking a lot from the prideful leaders, James and Sirius. I can't see them likening to the idea. So I don't bring it up.

"I see Snape removed the Crazy Glue from his wand hand." Sirius mentioned, casually. The other thing that could really anger me about Sirius was Snape.

"After last year, don't you think it's time to leave him alone?" I asked him, curtly. "For Merlin's sake, you almost had him murdered. Any hostility is deserved."

"He- well, last night's jinx fest wasn't a random thing. James and I hunted him down for something he said...About you actually." Sirius said, much too quickly to be casual.

"He didn't say anything about next we-"

"Nothing about the Full Moon. Actually it has something to do with-your sexuality. But don't worry, we cleared it up completely, James and I...Let's say he won't be too 'gay' around you ever again." A man after my own heart, taking a stab at a pun. Not too shabby. Sirius was a joker, but not quite a verbal one. While exceptionally smart at strategy and pranking and transfiguration, anything with words usually had him beat. I was the wise one who often rambled about things that made your head spin. Sirius was the one who just made your head spin, no matter what. Sometimes even his words knocked you senseless, but only for one reason. What makes me so in love with him, other then his smell, is his voice. He's got the most original voice I've ever heard. It's deep but not bass, and it's very...sexy in such an innocent way. It's the only innocent thing about him. It's not rugged or rough, it's sweet and calming. And when he sings, it shell shocks me. He isn't exceptional at belting at a tune, but he can carry his own. I like that bit of normality in such a brilliant, blinding person. It really grounds him and makes it easy to listen. Not to mention, when a guy like Sirius speaks, you have to listen.

It's amazing how listening to his voice waned my anger. It was like the light of the moon engulfing the dark of space. I relaxed as we neared charms class, nearly two minutes late. At least we made it here. And soon it would be the hols…And we could have the morning free to do whatever we want; him smoking and me dreaming.

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"Remus…" Sirius had whispered softly as he kneeled on the floor in front of my bed, reaching a soft hand out to push back the blonde locks that must've clung to face as I slumbered uneasily. I opened my eyes and blinked my long eyelashes nervously before they focused on Sirius. I knew it was Sirius before I even looked. For one, it was always he who woke me up from my nightmares, because Sirius was the only one besides me who never properly slept. And of course, I smelled him; whenever the scent of cinnamon tickled my nose and a faint air of musk followed it, I knew Sirius was somewhere close. The smell was becoming of such a man; intoxicating. Slowly, I stirred and then pulled the blankets up higher as he leaned his back against his headboard.

"Hullo, Padfoot." I murmured softly, closing my eyes and breathing in the deep smell. Even so early in the morning, the scent of Sirius lured Moony deep inside of me. 'Damn wolf senses…' I thought, as I realized that I may be the only person in Hogwarts capable of picking up Sirius' scent every second of the day.

"I wanted to let you sleep but- well…you said you've never seen a blizzard and well…to be frank, that's what's going on out there right now." He yawned. "I just woke up myself. It's about 3AM. But the view is beautiful from here. Come, look." He said, outstretching a hand to help me out of bed. I took it attentively, while hanging onto the blanket with a limp arm. He moved back from the window so I could see outside. And my god, what I saw blew my mind.

Everything was white; it was as if the world had been bleached of all color. Normally, I would find this ugly but something about the pureness made me feel…sentimental to the snow. It was as innocent as I wished I could be. And as fragile. Any pressure on this would break the charm, unlike me. I'm not saying I have charm to break, but if I did, it would take a lot before it would snap. I'm a pretty hard guy to break, believe it or not. I may come off a bit…well…out of character for a gay guy, but to be honest, I'm not into feeding stereotypes. I'm perfectly happy being normal. Besides, unlike the rest of the guys, I'm ashamed of what I am. I mean…I don't know, though I can't help it, I feel kind of perverted when James plays tricks on Sirius in the mornings; like hiding his favorite shampoo. It usually means that Sirius will walk around for a good 15 minutes in a towel…and depending on how late he's running he may even drop the towel and haste…I don't know how to admit to my best friends that I've taken then closeness to me for granted.

"Got you philosophizing?" Sirius asked, grinning widely. I smiled at much as I could but shook my head.

"Hand me a fag, will you?" I asked Sirius, desperate for my hands to do something other then long to play with his hair.

"What are you talking about?" Sirius asked, harshly. "I'm not a fag!" He shouted, pulling back from me quickly. He looked utterly appalled.

"No! I didn't say that! I asked for- a cigarette! Give me a damn cigarette." He relaxed slightly and handed me a Parliament light. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Remus."

I almost wanted to bury myself in the snow and freeze to death.