A/N: This story was a hard one to write and more about Sam than DJ. I hope you enjoy this next short story in the series. Thank you to all who have been enjoying the shorts with little DJ. Please enjoy the read and would like to know what you thoughts about it.
NC
Disclaimer: Sadly do not own SPN and this is my own creation.
"Sam! Are you even listening to me?" Dean asked his brother who had been ignoring him for the past ten minutes.
"What? Yeah that's fine." Sam answered automatically not sure what Dean had said.
"Dude, what's goin' on with you? You're really zoning out on me man." Dean complained trying to get Sam to open up to him. He knew something was bothering his brother, had been for the past few weeks.
"Daddy! Papa Bobby let me help!" DJ screamed as he bound into the kitchen breaking up the conservation the brothers were having.
"Wow, that's great." Sam smiled trying to act normal around DJ. "What did you do?"
Dean watched Sam hide his glumness from his son and be excited about his new feat. DJ threw his arms around his father's neck and hugged him tightly transferring dirt and grim to Sam.
"I fix car." he smiled proudly slipping back to the floor.
"Looks like you bought all the dirt with ya." Dean chuckled looking the boy over and glancing at his brother who just realized DJ had transferred a good portion of the dirt to him.
"I think someone needs a bath." Sam told his son. "It's Uncle Dean's turn to fix dinner, so while he does that we'll get you cleaned up."
"Guess that's my cue to start cooking." Dean said clapping his hands together as he got up from the table.
spn
Sam sat back and watched his son playing in the bathtub with a couple of toys and thought about how much he looked like his mother especially when he smiled. Sam felt the sadness wash over him and tried to push it back into the box he kept it in. When Jess had died, he was devastated but had to be strong and be there for his son. He didn't allow himself to really mourn her death. He couldn't and take care of DJ.
"Daddy, Un'le Dee's calling." DJ said laying a wet hand on his arm.
"Right, ready to get out?" Sam asked letting his thoughts fall away to tend his son.
"Ya hear me Sammy?" Dean called again. "Dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes."
"Ok." Sam called back. He got the towel ready as DJ let the water out of the tub and stepped into the towel. Sam bundled him up and carried him to his room to get dressed. "Here's some clean clothes, while you get dressed I'll go see if Dean needs a hand. Come on down when you're done."
"Ok Daddy." DJ replied looking closely at his father and seeing the sadness and sorrow he was trying to hide.
spn
"Need a hand?"
"Yeah butter the rolls and stick them in the oven."
"Alright." Sam opened the butter and used the knife laying there to smear butter on the rolls before sliding them in the hot oven. He got the plates down and set the table while Dean finished up the meal.
"Somethin' smells good." Bobby commented coming in the back door.
"Why thank ya." Dean bowed. "Where's the kid?"
"Getting dressed should be down in a minute."
"There's my new grease monkey." Bobby smiled as DJ wandered in.
"I not monkey." he giggled climbing into his booster seat. "I hungry."
"Well dinner is served Tiger." Dean told him sitting the last of the bowls on the table. "Sit everyone."
Sam took DJ's plate and began to fill it with food. He half listened to the conservation Bobby and Dean were having not feeling like joining in. It didn't get by Dean that Sam was moving his food around on his plate but not eating much of it. He kept his thoughts to himself not wanting to upset Bobby or DJ. He would see if he could get his brother to talk to him later when they were alone.
spn
"He didn't last long." Dean whispered looking down at his nephew curled up into his side asleep.
"He wore himself out today. I'll take him on to bed."
Sam picked up his son and cradled him to his chest kissing his tousled head. He headed up the stairs and to DJ's bedroom where he tucked his son into his bed.
"Tag." DJ mumbled feeling around for his stuffed tiger.
"Right here son." Sam told him tucking the tiger in the bed beside him.
DJ rolled over and hugged the tiger tightly as he went back to sleep. Jessica had gotten the stuffed tiger for DJ before he was born and he had slept with it every night since. Sam thought it was his link to his mother now that she was gone. Sam turned on the nightlight and pulled the door partly closed stopping to gather his emotions before going back down to face his brother. He loved his brother dearly, but sometimes he could be a pain in the ass.
spn
"Made some coffee." Dean told his brother holding up a cup he was drinking from.
"Thanks." Sam mumbled strolling on into the kitchen for his own cup.
Bobby gave Dean a questioning looking, but Dean just shook his head no and shrugged his shoulders to let him know he didn't know what was wrong with his brother. They both looked away trying not to stare at Sam as he made his way back into the room to take a seat next to Dean on the couch. He looked over to see what they were watching and picked up a book from the end table. He opened it to the scrap of paper bookmark and pretended to read. He didn't fool Dean who noticed that he hadn't turned a paper in the past ten minutes. They sat in silence for the next few hours until Bobby announced he was heading to bed. The brothers decided to call it a night and heading upstairs to their bedroom. Sam stopped and looked in on DJ before heading across to his bedroom.
spn
Dean had already slipped into his sweats and a tee shirt and was lying in bed waiting for Sam to finish in the bathroom. He was going over in his head how to approach his brother about what was bothering him. They had only been back together since Christmas, a little over seven months now and he was just starting to learn his brother's quirks all over again. Sam had changed since he had left their father and him when he went to college. Dean had to be more cautious with him because he didn't want Sam to clam up and shut him out. He watched Sam through silted eyes as he turned down his bed and slipped between the sheets.
"You know Sammy if ya wanna talk 'bout anythin' I'm here." Dean said quietly waiting to see Sam's reaction.
"I'm fine." Sam said just loud enough for Dean to hear before turning his back to him.
That right there told Dean everything he needed to know, things were not alright with his brother. He knew there was no use trying to pressure him into talking; it would only close him off more. He knew Sam was working half a day tomorrow and he had DJ duty during this time. He was going to do some digging into the time Sam was gone and see if he could find anything. With that last thought, Dean rolled over and let sleep pull him under. He didn't know Sam was waiting for him to fall asleep so he could get back up and sneak downstairs. Sam listened to Dean's breathing even out and soft snores come from his bed.
spn
Sam sat at the kitchen table nursing his fourth shot of whiskey. He didn't drink much and he was feeling the effects of the liquor in his empty stomach. He swirled the amber liquid around in the glass contemplating if he could fall asleep now. Sleep was getting harder for him lately and he felt drained and tired all the time. When he did sleep, the dreams came disturbing his rest. He downed the rest of the whiskey in one gulp and decided to head back to bed.
Sam leaned heavily on the banister as he slowly forced one foot in front of the other finally making it to the top. He swayed slightly at the top before getting his body going in the right direction. Slipping into the bedroom, Sam almost made it back to the bed but stumbled over a shoe falling toward Dean's bed.
"Sonovabi..." he slurred falling over Dean's legs.
"What the hell..." Dean growled coming out of bed with a gun in his hand. He turned on the bedside lamp and saw Sam trying to push himself to a standing position. "Sammy?"
"S'ry." he got out as he tried to stand.
Dean got up and grabbed Sam before he toppled over. One whiff told him he had been drinking.
"Come on little bro, let's get ya back in bed." Dean told him softly steering him back to his bed. He got Sam in bed and carded a hand through his too long hair feeling Sam turn into the touch. "Awe Sammy why won't you talk to me?" Dean mumbled sadly looking down at his sleeping brother. He watched him for a few more minutes before going back to his bed and lying down. Sleep didn't come for a while as he lay in the dark listening to his brother's restless sleep. It was an hour before dawn when Dean finally fell asleep.
spn
The sun was well on its way across the sky giving off a brightness that made the world come to life. Dean rolled over and groaned slinging an arm over his eyes to block out the light. He lay there for a moment sensing eyes on him and looked to the side of the bed to find his nephew starting curiously at him. Right, he had kid duty today.
"Hey kid." Dean mumbled trying to wake his mind up.
"Daddy said no wake you." DJ told him watching to be sure he was going to stay awake.
"Where's Bobby?"
"Garage."
"Have ya had breakfast?"
"Yes."
"Let me take a shower and we'll do something."
"Ok." DJ said going over to Sam's bed and crawling up on it to wait.
Dean pulled himself out of bed and grabbed some clean clothes before heading to the bathroom. From the size of the pile of dirty clothes, he decided it wouldn't hurt to do some laundry today after the shower. Dean stripped his clothes off and started the water letting it get hot. He adjusted the temperature and stepped into the hot spray. He sighed as the spray hit his body running down over his tight muscles. Her soaped himself down and rinsed before turning off the water and grabbing a towel. He dressed and gathered up his clothes before returning to the bedroom to find DJ still sitting on the bed waiting. He was staring out the window with a far away look on his face.
"Un'le Dee, Daddy ok?" he asked turning to look up at Dean with his soulful eyes.
Dean was taken back by the question from the boy and wasn't sure how to answer him. He knew the boy was sensitive to other's feelings, so it made sense he could tell his Daddy was troubled.
"Yeah Tiger, ya Daddy'll be ok. Now come on, I need to do a little research and you can color or watch something on the tube." Dean told him as he gathered the dirty clothes into a laundry bag. "Now let's go get your dirty clothes and if you're good, we'll go get a milk shake."
"Yea!" DJ cried running out of the room to his.
Dean smiled watching the boy running around his room picking up clothes and making a pile in the middle of the floor. He could see so much of his Dad in him.
"Un'le Dee they ready."
"I'm coming Tiger." Dean called back shaking off the memories that surfaced in his mind.
spn
"Look Un'le Dee, make for Daddy." DJ said holding up a picture he had drawn.
"That's good Tiger; I'm sure yer Daddy will like that."
Dean glanced at the clock and frowned wondering if Sam had to work later than he expected. He usually called when he had to do that. Dean figured he might be doing some errands before coming home. He continued to look through the newspaper online from the town he had found Sam in trying to see if there was anything that would give him insight about Sam's moods lately.
Both turned toward the back door to see who was coming in to see Bobby making his way inside. He headed for the coffee pot first before joining them in the living room.
"Hey squirt what ya doing?"
"Drawing Daddy a picture." DJ answered not looking up as he concentrated on his drawing.
"I'm sure yer Dad will like that." Bobby told him. "Heard from him?" he asked Dean
"Nope."
"Should we be concerned?"
"I honestly don't know, don't ya need a refill?" Dean asked nodding his head toward the kitchen and glancing down at the kid. He knew even if DJ pretended not to be listening, he was hearing every word they said. He didn't want to worry him any more than he was already. Dean headed for the kitchen with Bobby following close behind understanding his signals.
spn
"You noticed it too?" Dean said quietly so as not to be overheard.
"That somethin's off with yer brother, yeah."
"He got up last night and got drunk. Wouldn't of known but he fell over a shoe, 'bout got his self shot." Dean grumbled.
"Ya can't get him to talk?"
"No, he's being tight lipped 'bout whatever it is that's got him in this funk."
"Should we let him be and see if it passes?"
"Don't know, that's the laundry." Dean answered as a buzzing went off downstairs. "Be right back."
"Not goin' anywhere."
Dean trooped down the stairs to move the clothes to the dryer and put another load in the washer. He contemplated how to handle Sam if things didn't improve. He had to handle his brother with kid gloves so not to make matter worse and drive Sam away. If Sam went, DJ would be going with him and he kind of liked having both of them around.
spn
"All I'm gettin' is voice mail." Bobby told Dean hanging up his cell. "Why would he have it off?"
"I just got off with his work, he called in sick today." Dean grumbled grabbing his laptop and turning it on.
"Good thing I'm paranoid bastard." he said bringing up a tracking program on it. "Put a tracking device in his SUV."
"So where is he?"
"Give me a sec." he replied taping on the keys. "He's in Nebraska heading south."
"What the hell is he doin' there and where is he goin'?"
"I'm not sure, but he's got a good head start. See if you can find Caleb while I go pack."
"What ya gonna do?"
"Catch him and have Caleb drive his car back and I'm not bringin' him back until he talks."
"Ya may need to go easy on him son, we don't know what he's dealing with." Bobby cautioned him.
"I know." he said before heading upstairs.
spn
Dean looked down into the small boy's sad face as he threw his bag into the car. It killed him to tell DJ he couldn't go with him this time. He didn't want to upset the boy any more than he was by telling him about his Daddy leaving.
"You be good Tiger, mind Papa Bobby."
"Yes sir." he mumbled sadly.
"Caleb's in Sioux City. Ya can pick him up there." Bobby told Dean as he pulled DJ closer to him to try and comfort him. "Don't worry 'bout us, we'll be fine." he assured him.
"I'll call ya later."
"Take care son and be careful."
Dean climbed into the Impala and pulled slowly away from the house glancing in the rearview mirror to see Bobby had picked DJ up and was holding him close. DJ had buried his face into Bobby neck and wouldn't look his way. Dean clenched his jaw with a determination to find his little brother and bring him home. He headed for Sioux City to pick Caleb up and pick up Sam's trail."
spn
"Thanks for helpin' Caleb." Dean told him as he settled in the passenger seat of the Impala.
"No problem, was in between jobs right now anyway. So what's goin' on?"
"Somethin's up with Sam and he took off."
"Bummer, how far ahead is he?"
"Looks like 'bout seven hours, but with both us driving, I figure we should be able to catch him when he stops."
"Then what?"
"You drive his car back to Bobby's and me and my brother are gonna have a sit down."
"Dean, back at the graveyard, were you unconscious the whole time?" Caleb ventured slowly.
"Pretty much, why?"
"Don't take this wrong man, but when I came to, I thought I saw the kid talking to the spirit of that woman. Mind ya I was still a little addled, but it looked like he got her to go away."
"You sure?"
"Pretty sure."
"Damn." Dean muttered adding that to his list of things that needed sorting out. "Thanks for telling me."
"No problem. You guys are family to me." Caleb commented settling down in the seat to snooze.
Dean drove on in silence, pushing his Baby harder to make the distance between him and his brother closer. He figured Sam would be stopping soon for the night and that would give them time to catch up. He planned on only stopping long enough to get gas and grab coffee. With both of them driving, he calculated they should catch up before Sam left wherever he stopped at.
spn
Pulling into the parking lot of a non-descript motel, Dean spotted Sam's SUV in the far corner. He pulled in beside it and parked.
"Here's the spare key, go on and head back. Stop when ya need to and grab a room to rest." Dean told Caleb handing him a key.
"Sure you don't want me to hang around?"
"No, I got this, we'll be fine."
"Alright, I'll hang out at Bobby's for a few days; maybe help out with the kid."
"Drive safe."
Dean watched Caleb pull away and leaned up against the Impala to make a call.
"Hey Bobby, found him and Caleb's heading your way." Dean told him. "Yeah, I will. I will." he said before hanging up. He looked off in the distance as the sun was starting to make an appearance bringing light to another day. He knew Sam's habits so he slipped back into the car to wait for him to come out. He didn't have long to wait when the door to the room in front of him opened and his brother stepped out.
A frown creased Sam's forehead as he looked at the empty space where his SUV should of been. Dean saw his shoulders slump when his gaze fell on the Impala and his brother sitting waiting for him. He rolled the window down and called to him.
"Might as well get in, your cars on its way back to Bobby's."
Sam looked around the parking lot trying to decide what to do before giving in and walking slowly toward the passenger side of the Impala. He opened the back and dropped his bag on the backseat before getting in the front. He sat stiffly looking out the side window not looking or speaking to Dean. Dean waited silently for Sam to speak but after ten minutes, he finally broke the awkward silence in the car.
"Wanna tell me where we're going?" Dean asked quietly. He watched Sam chew on his lower lip and could tell he was mulling over whether to talk to Dean or not. "We can sit here all day if you want, your choice."
Finally Sam spoke softly, "Get back on the Interstate and head south."
Without saying anything else, Dean cranked the Impala and pulled out of the parking lot heading for the Interstate. He figured they would stop on down the road for coffee and something to eat. He would need gas in a couple of hours anyway. Maybe that would give Sam enough time to make up his mind to talk to him. He watched Sam's leg absently bounce in the wheel well as Sam held his arms loosely around his body his fingers nervously clenching at his jacket as he looked anywhere but in Dean's direction. Dean's lips tightened in a small thin line determined to find out what was wrong with his little brother.
spn
"Gotta stop for gas, might as well grab some coffee and breakfast sandwich." Dean said breaking the silence two hours later when he saw the fuel gauge down to a quarter of a tank. He started checking the signs for food and gas and found one that looked promising five miles ahead. He saw Sam jerk slightly as if he had dozed or his mind was far away and he came back to the present.
The Impala slowed to take the exit and Dean followed the signs pointing to a 24 hour truck stop off to the right. He pulled in and stopped at a pump getting out to fill the car. Sam grunted as he unfolded his tall frame from the passenger seat and stretched his back listening to it pop. He trudged toward the building and disappeared inside. Dean finished filling the gas tank and pulled the car over into a parking space before heading inside to find his brother. Sam was standing at the coffee pots doctoring a cup of coffee to his liking. Dean headed for the restrooms first and he was going to snag a large black coffee and see what they had in the way of breakfast items.
Dean came out of the restroom drying his hands and looking for brother. He didn't see the shaggy head anywhere in sight and panic set in for a second until he saw him leaning against the Impala outside. Dean hurried to the bar and got the largest coffee they had and a ham and egg biscuit. He grabbed a couple of power bars and an apple thinking Sam probably didn't get food. He paid for his purchases and headed outside to his waiting brother.
Sam looked up when his brother came out but looked away before he could meet his gaze. They would be there late tonight and he would do what he needed tomorrow, the day of the one year anniversary. One year, how could it already be that long? It seemed like yesterday he was holding Jess in his arms while they watched DJ play in the floor. He could still feel her warm body snuggled up against his and smell the fragrance of her shampoo as she tucked her head into the nap of his neck. Sprigs of her hair would tickle his jaw and she would begin humming a song as they sat quietly enjoying each other's company.
"Sam?" Dean asked. "Sammy?" he tried again. "You ready?"
Blinking quickly, Sam brushed away a tear that trickled down his cheek and pulled himself back to reality. He pulled the door open and climbed in trying to get comfortable for the next leg of the journey.
"Here, you need to eat something." Dean told him pushing the power bars and apple toward his brother. He started the Impala and headed back to the Interstate and on south without further comment.
Sam looked down at the offerings from his brother and a twitch of a smile crossed his lips for his big brother always looking out for him. He picked up the apple and turned it over in his hand before bringing it to his mouth to take a bite. He chewed slowly not really tasting or wanting it, but felt he needed to please his brother.
spn
It was late afternoon and Dean had crossed into Oklahoma. They were about an hour from Oklahoma City and he felt like death warmed over. He could barely keep his eyes opened and knew he needed to stop or he was going to wreck his Baby.
"Look man, we're gonna have to stop for the night I'm beat." Dean said making the decision to stop at the next decent motel. He was sure where Sam was heading, but if they wanted to get there in one piece, he was gonna need some sleep. Sam didn't protest when Dean found a small motel with a diner beside it and pulled up to the office. He got out and headed in to get a room for the night. It wasn't long before Dean was back out and pulling the car around to the side and in front of room nineteen.
"Come on Sammy." Dean told him getting out and going around to the trunk for his bag. He watched as Sam got his bag from the back seat and waited for Dean to unlock the door. "I'll run into the diner and get us something for dinner, any requests?"
Sam stepped into the comfortable looking room automatically going to the bed farther from the door. Dean sat his bag on the other bed and waited for a moment to see if Sam would answer him. When he didn't, he headed back out to the diner to get some takeout.
spn
The room was dimly lit by a bedside lamp and the curtains were drawn. He let his eyes adjust to the sparse light and scanned the room for his brother. There on the bed was a lump the size of his brother. He sighed and sat the food on a small table and dropped into the chair. He pulled his burger out of the bag and unwrapped it taking a bite. He looked back over at the mound on the bed and dropped his burger back on the paper. His appetite had disappeared along with his will to stay awake. Dean wrapped the burger back up and put the uneaten food in the mini fridge before digging out his sweats and heading for the bathroom.
Dean dropped his clothes by his bag before collapsing on the bed exhausted. He quickly lost his battle with consciousness letting his mind fall into the abyss of sleep.
spn
It was the wee hours of the morning when a noise invaded his sleep drawing him back from the mist because he knew he was needed. Dean wiped the sleep from his eyes and listened for the noise again. He heard the soft moaning and small cry coming from the bed beside him and rose to look at his brother. Sam was mumbling and jerking in his sleep reaching out for some unknown thing.
"Sammy, hey man you're dreaming wake up." Dean called to him getting up from his bed. "Come on Sammy." he said again shaking his brother's shoulder to wake him.
Hearing Dean's voice brought Sam out of his dream state to stare in confusion at his brother. Tears were streaming down his face as a sob escaped his trembling lips. Dean could feel his brother's body trembling under his hand and did the only thing he knew to do.
"Move over Sammy." Dean told him pulling the covers back to slide in beside him. Once he was settled, he moved Sam's cool body back against him and held him close like when they were kids and Sam had a bad dream or when a storm scared him.
"Sammy what's wrong bad dream?" young Dean asked his brother.
"I scared Dee." Sammy answered in a trembling voice.
"Want me to sleep with ya?" he asked softly. Sammy slid over and held the covers for Dean to climb in bed with him. Once he was settled, Sammy scooted close clinging to his tee shirt as he wrapped his arms around the boys small frame. "I got ya now Sammy, nothing's gonna get ya. I'll protect ya."
"I love ya Dee." Sammy sighed just loud enough for Dean to hear as he drifted back to sleep.
"Love ya too Sammy."
At first Sam pulled and tried to push away from his brother until he felt the familiar arms encircle his body and pull him close to that warm, strong body from his childhood where he felt safe and secure. That was all it took for Sam to breakdown and cling helplessly to his brother as his body wracked with sobs desperately wanted the comfort offered to him. Dean listened to his brother's heart wrenching cries that were muffled by Sam's face being buried into Dean's tee shirt and felt his own tears leak from his eyes. He rubbed small circles across his brother's back letting him release all his pent up emotions and mumbled softly to him letting him know he was there.
"It's ok Sammy, I got ya." Dean whispered brushing Sam's hair back from his face. He carded his hand through his too long hair letting it rest on Sam's neck and massaging gently rubbing the tight muscles until they began to relax some. "Let it all out, let it go." he urged him feeling Sam's fists tighten into his shirt as he clung to him like a life line. The sobs began to subside to soft whimpers and hiccups as Dean ministered to his brother. His shirt was soaked with the warm tears that continued to flow from his brother's eyes. Mucus ran from Sam's nose and he used the back of his hand to wipe it from his wet face. Dean reached for tissues and pressed them into his brother's hand. Sam managed to wipe the snot across his face, but got most of it before stilling again on his brother's chest. He could hear the steady, strong thrum-thrum of his brother's heart in his ear and let it lull him into a doze.
Dean could feel the change in his brother's body as it began to relax and the sniffling slowly stopped. Sam curled as tight as he could to Dean's body seeking the warmth and security. He shifted and got a hold of the blankets to pull them over their bodies tucking it in around Sam. He hoped Sam would be able to talk to him in the morning. He knew Sam needed to get everything out in order to heal. Dean was not one to let his emotions show like Sam did. He had learned how to lock them away and keep them well hidden from the world. His eyes closed on their own and he let the soft breathing of his brother push him into the mist of sleep.
spn
Consciousness came slowly to Sam as he tried to determine where he was. It was still dark outside and the only light in the room was from the crack in the bathroom door. He felt the warm body he was laying on, knowing there was a familiar feeling about it. He tried to open his crud rimmed eyes and brought his fingers up to wipe them feeling the dried mucus on his cheek and cringed at the nastiness. He tried to dredge up his memories from the night before when an arm tightened around his body making him still.
"S'my...ok..sl'p." a deep male voice mumbled as the body shifted slightly under him.
Finally getting his eyes open, Sam could see that he was lying on Dean's chest with his head tucked protectively into the nap of his neck. He moved his face and felt the fabric of his shirt sticking to his cheek and peeled it away in disgust. Part of last night flooded back to him about the dream and his release of everything that had built up over the past year. He felt drained and exhausted and his body seemed to weight a ton. It was all he could do to move an arm or leg and all he wanted to do was go back to sleep. It had been a long time he had felt the love and comfort he did at this moment tucked into his brother's body and held close. He was not alone anymore, he had the support and love of family and he had the most wonderful gift, his son. His last thought was on DJ and holding him in his arms and hugging him tight.
spn
Dean drew in a deep breath and grunted as he forced his eyes open quickly scanning the room noticing the soft light peeking around the curtains. It was still early yet, but Dean wanted to get this journey over with. But first, he needed a hot shower and coffee. With utmost care, he shifted the still sleeping form of his brother to the bed trying not to wake him. Sam moaned and buried his face into the pillow and slept on. Dean looked down being sure he stayed asleep before moving to his bag for clean clothes. He strolled to the bathroom for that much needed shower. He grimaced when he pulled his snotty, crinkled tee shirt from his chest before pulling it over his head and dropping it to the floor. After stripping out of his remaining clothes, Dean turned the water on adjusting the temperature before stepping under the spray and letting it cascade down over his head. He just stood in the hot spray; bracing himself with his hands against the wall letting the tiredness wash off him. He moved his shoulders and let his head drop to his chest letting it swivel from side to side to get the stiffness out. Not wanting to leave his brother too long, he quickly washed down his body and rinsed before shutting the water off. He toweled his body down and dressed in jeans, tee shirt and loose fitting button up.
spn
The smell of coffee pulled Sam from his sleep as he felt for the warm body that had been beside him only to find the space empty and cold. He rolled to his side and looked around the room to spot his brother at the small table drinking coffee.
"Hey." Sam croaked not recognizing his own voice. He coughed and cleared his throat several times finding it raw and dry.
"Water?" Dean asked already by his bed holding out a bottle of water.
"Thanks."
"Still early, but figured we should get started after you shower and eat."
Sam sipped the water letting it wet his parched throat, sighing in relief. He still felt the crusty snot smeared on his cheek and decided a shower was called for. Brushing his hair back, his fingers got caught in a matted area causing him to pull his own hair. Yep, a shower it is. He pulled himself out of the bed and stumbled slightly while reaching for his bag. He didn't know if Dean saw or not, but he was grateful he didn't say anything about it or about last night. With his clothes gathered in his arms, he made his way to the bathroom not realizing his brother missed nothing. Dean tracked his brother's progress to the bathroom looking worried and concerned. Once he was sure Sam wasn't coming out, he dialed a familiar number and waited for an answer.
"Son, everything ok?" Bobby asked worry in his voice.
"Yeah, found him. Caleb get there?"
"Yeah, bone weary, been sleeping it off. The kids worried 'bout his Dad."
"Let him know I'll take care of him and bring him home. I promise."
"You know what's goin' on yet?"
"Not really, but I have an idea."
"You take care of that brother of yers and yerself too."
"I will Bobby, give DJ a hug and tell him...tell him we'll be home soon." Dean told him hanging up and listening to see if the shower was still running. He grunted as he got up and began to gather up his dirty clothes stuffing them in his bag before sitting it on his bed. He looked up when the bathroom door opened and Sam stepped out trying to keep his damp hair out of his face. Dean looked him over quickly to be sure he seemed ok. "Want some coffee?"
"No, water's good." he answered quietly.
"We can get something to eat next door since ya missed dinner last night."
"Not really hungry."
"Sammy, ya gotta eat something, can't do this to yourself." Dean told him. "Ya gotta think of your son that's waitin' for ya to come home."
Sam looked down at the floor for a moment and Dean could see the cogs in his brain turning as he mulled over his thoughts.
"Alright." he got out packing away his clothes and making ready to leave.
"Good, I'm ready when you are."
With one last look around the room, Sam made sure nothing was left behind before following Dean to the car to drop off the bags and then continued to the diner, staying slightly behind his older brother.
spn
Dean forked another bite of eggs into his mouth and watched his brother slowly eat some oatmeal with fruit. It wasn't much, but it was something at least. Dean sipped his coffee trying to decide how to proceed.
"How much farther do we have to go?" Dean asked trying to glean some information from Sam.
"Just a couple of hours, on the other side of Omaha City."
"When you're ready then." he said digging out money to pay for the meal.
Sam nodded and got up from the booth to head out. He made his way automatically around the tables, his eyes set on the front door not seeing several guys coming between the tables before they ran into him. Sam backed up and checked the guys out as he apologized.
"Sorry, go ahead." Sam offered stepping back.
"What's a matter?" one smirked. "Can't see from up there?"
"Maybe he just likes to run over people Joe." the other offered in a sneer.
"There a problem?" Dean asked coming up behind the guys and clamping a tight hand on each's shoulder making them grimace.
"No, no problem."
"I believe my brother apologized, now if you'll excuse us, we'll be on our way." he challenged them.
"Sure."
"Right."
"Come on let's go." Dean told Sam pushing him toward the door while giving the two a killer look that made them back down and not follow them.
spn
"The exit should be ahead a few miles." Sam told his brother looking up from his cell's GPS. "Lexington."
"Alright." Dean replied letting his brother take the lead for now. He would follow and be there when he was needed. One thing was sure, his brother was gonna need him to get through what was coming.
"Can you stop at that vendor?" Sam asked pointing to a roadside vendor that had produce and flowers.
He pulled the Impala to the side of the road and Sam got out walking over to the lady running the stand. They spoke for a few minutes and she wrapped some flowers handing them to Sam. He thanked her and gave her money before returning to the car. Dean didn't comment as he pulled back onto the road.
Dean followed Sam's directions to Lexington, driving around the outskirts until they came to a fairly large cemetery. He pulled through the gates and followed the road winding through the tombstones to the back portion of the cemetery.
"Stop over there." Sam said as he looked up a small rise. He got out of the car and began walking looking around before moving on.
Dean got out and walked around the car watching his brother until he stopped and stood looking at a grave. Sam knelt down and placed the flowers on the grave. He took out the smaller bunch and placed on another one beside it. He made his way to his brother and saw the silent tears rolling down his face. Dean looked down at the tombstone and sucked in a deep breathe as he read the inscription.
Jessica Moore Winchester
born- Aug 17, 1983 died-Jul 26, 2008
Loving Wife and Mother
He swallowed hard never realizing that Sam had married this Jessica. His body stiffened and his face paled when he read the smaller tombstone beside the larger one.
Mary Elizabeth Winchester
2008
Beloved Daughter
"Sammy." Dean spoke softly to his brother knelling down beside him.
"She was...She was pregnant when she died...A little girl." he spoke through his tears. He ran a hand over Jessica's marker as the longing and heartache made his chest tighten. He tried to draw air into his lungs in a wheezing breath, feeling the burning sensation get stronger as he got lightheaded.
"Sammy, I'm here." Dean said recognizing the attack from Sam's younger days. He put an arm around Sam's shoulders and pulled him against his chest. "Breath slow now, come on let yourself relax, in and out. Come on bro, in and out." Dean whispered into his ear while pressing gently but firmly on Sam's chest to get his attention. "Little deeper now." Dean encouraged feeling his brother respond to his voice.
The impeding darkness began to dissipate as he listened to Dean talking soothingly into his ear. He was drawing on his brother's strength to help him be strong enough to get past this. He could finally have closure with this tragedy in his life, closure that he had not allowed himself to have before. Sam could feel the bond growing between him and his brother as he felt the strong arms holding him up and gently rocking his limp body.
"That's it Sammy, you're doing great." Dean told Sam pulling him to his feet and guiding him to a bench sitting nearby. "Let's just sit here for a bit." he suggested still keeping his arm draped over Sam's shoulder rubbing his neck carefully. "Wanna talk 'bout it?"
"She was the love of my life." Sam started. "We were so in love and having DJ only made it that much better. We found out she was expecting again, but then she got sick...Very sick...There was nothing they could do." Sam whispered pausing to let his emotions settle down. "I...I had to...She was...I loved her so much." he sobbed before wiping his face with the back of his hand and drawing in a shaky breath.
"Awe man, Sammy, I wish I could of been there for you then. I wish I had met her. At least I'm here now. We'll get through this together bro. I'll be here by your side, you've got family who love and care for ya and a little boy waiting at home for his Daddy." he told him. "Just take all the time ya need, say your good-byes."
The brothers sat side by side on the bench by the graves as the sun slowly continued on its path across the clear blue sky. Sam felt the heat of the sun warm his cold body and knew it was time to go. Dean was right, he had a part of Jessica with him in his son and DJ needed him.
"I'm ready." Sam said getting up and looking one more time at the graves before walking away toward the Impala.
"Rest in peace Jessica Winchester. Don't worry; I'll take care of both of them for you." Dean whispered. He turned and looked over his shoulder when he felt an unseen hand brush over his cheek lovingly. It was as if she was telling him she knew he would and she was happy. Dean stepped away and followed his brother back to the car. They had a long drive home and he wanted to get started.
spn
The salvage yard came into view as Dean rounded the curve, glad to see it. He turned into the driveway and pulled through the gates toward the house. The noise from the Impala brought three people out of the house to stand waiting on the front porch.
"Daddy!" a small voice yelled excitedly running toward the Impala as it pulled to a stop.
The passenger door opened and Sam stepped out to gather his son into his arms hugging him tightly. He buried his face into his son's silky hair and drank in his essence. DJ pulled back and took his Daddy's face between his two small hands and looked deeply into his eyes. "I love you Daddy." DJ said solemnly.
"I love ya too son." Sam replied blinking back the tears when he saw Jessica in his son's face. He closed his eyes and thanked Jessica for their son.
Dean stood on the other side of the car and watched the interaction between father and son and smiled looking up at Bobby and Caleb. He caught Bobby wiping away a tear as he watched the two hugging. They were going to be alright, his family was together again.
The End