Total Pokemon: Hoenn

by Dark Arcanine 33

Zeraora and Silvally host a Total Pokemon competition! Fourteen competitors from Hoenn compete IN Hoenn for 100,000 Poke. Who will win? Read and find out!

1. Episode 1: A Pick Me Up

000

A slim-figured, bipedal yellow and black feline was exiting her room at the Hall of Origin. She had icy blue eyes, and blue zigzag whiskers resembling thunderbolts. Her fur was spiky in certain areas and the fur on her lower half resembled pants. Her paws were relatively large, with blue marks on her palms. There was a spiky scarf extending from her fur on her upper half. There were black zigzag marks on her legs and blue markings on her chest.

Her name was Zeraora, a mythical Pokemon new to the hall. Treading in silence as she walked toward the slide at the left end of the balcony, she looked down and saw a few other legendaries going about their own daily routines.

Ever since she got there a month ago, she acted like an introvert, so hardly anyone even acknowledged her being there. The only one who actually did so was Mew, who she actually found herself liking just based off of how he acted.

Sliding down to the bottom floor, she rose up and started heading toward Arceus and Giratina's room. Mew had come to her room earlier and let her know that the two of them wanted to talk to her. She didn't know what to make of that request, as she was sure that she hadn't done anything wrong.

Approaching the large doors that lead into their room, she took a breath. She pushed the large doors open and entered the couple's room. Upon entering, she immediately caught sight of another legendary Pokemon already standing there at the foot of their bed.

He looked like an amalgamation of different parts, having a black body with purple scales on a part of his hindquarters and legs, and green insect-like forelimbs. He had a fish-like tail with three spikes. His head was wolf-like, with a snout that was metallic on the bridge of his nose and upper jaw. His triangular black nose was framed by three red lines. His upper jaw had a pointy overbite and his lower jaw had two fangs. His eyes were white with silver irises. He had a crest on his head with three spikes sticking out of it. He had two ears on either side of his crest, and they were black and red on the insides.

It was Silvally. Zeraora hadn't really seen him around much, but it didn't necessarily matter, as the only legendaries here that she'd spoken to were Arceus, Giratina, and Mew. Her presence was eventually made known as Silvally eyed her in suspicion.

"What's she doing here?"

Zeraora rose a brow at his attitude before her eyes narrowed in a glare. "I could ask you the same question," she responded irritatedly.

"Oh! Zeraora, there you are…" Arceus acknowledged as the feline entered her and Giratina's room. "We'd like to speak with you."

Silvally scoffed. "Figures, blow me off for someone else. You know what, Arceus, you're such a fucking cunt, I swear…"

"Silvally!" Giratina stated sternly, making the Synthetic Pokemon jump at the sudden bluster. "You're staying in here, too…"

Silvally's tail wagged in happiness as he eyed Giratina with a suggestive smirk. Seeing the look he was receiving, the Renegade Pokemon rolled his eyes.

Zeraora sighed in annoyance. "What did you want to talk about?" she asked, wanting to get back on track.

"Right. Well, since you've been here for a little over a month, we feel that you should begin your hosting trials," Arceus explained.

"Hosting trials?" Zeraora queried, folding her arms in confusion. She already knew that nearly every legendary had some type of competition-type show, but she never knew about trials.

"Yeah… this bitch and her… sexy hunk of meat… makes us all do a stupid trial season of a competition," Silvally explained. "We have to gather under twenty contestants, bring them in, host their competition, and once it's over, they decide if you're able to keep going or not. Then, you can decide to keep going, or ditch the shit and just hang out here…"

"And this is mandatory?" Zeraora queried tonelessly.

"Yes," Arceus replied. "But don't worry, we're going to do something similar to what we did for Solgaleo and Lunala."

"Similar, yet different," Giratina added. "And Silvally, you'll be a part of this…"

"WHAT!?" the normal-type yelped. "But I already did my stupid trial! Why do I have to do it again?"

"Well," Arceus started, glaring down at the Synthetic Pokemon. "There's the fact that whenever you come around here, you act high and mighty, try to give orders to everyone as if you're me, and try to seduce Giratina unsuccessfully…"

"You don't deserve him!" Silvally argued back.

"So, consider this a punishment…" Arceus replied, making Silvally grumble to himself.

"Now," Giratina began. "Solgaleo and Lunala did their season, Total Pokemon: Alola, in which only Pokemon native to the Alola region were able to compete. So, this time we're going to have you host a season with a similar premise. However, instead of Alola, you will be accepting applications of Pokemon native to the Hoenn region…"

"Hoenn?" Zeraora queried. "Shouldn't that be Kyogre and Groudon's thing? Or Latios or Latias? The Regis? Jirachi? Deoxys?"

"Or Rayquaza…" Silvally added, tightening his glare toward the Alpha Pokemon.

"They are all a part of this already," Arceus explained. "Since they know that region the best, they compiled a list of challenges that you will be doing. That way you don't have to think of them on the spot. "

"Huh…" Silvally commented, a bit surprised at that. "Not bad."

"Since you two will be co-hosts of the season, you two will have to choose contestants together," Giratina replied. "Once you have all of them chosen, you send them emails and tell them where to meet you and where. Or, if you want to be different, you can actually go pick them up at their homes."

Zeraora rose a brow upon hearing that suggestion. Having all of this be explained actually made things sound kinda fun. Sure, she acted introverted here, but that was because she knew that being her normally extroverted self could get her in some trouble or cause unwanted annoyances. And, she was all for breaking traditions, rather they be minor or major.

"Okay," she nodded with a smile. "That actually sounds good.

"Nice to see your mood switch," Arceus replied. "Now, once you have all of that figured out, just let us know when you're going to begin, we'll give you your license, and everything will be set."

"Alright then, so how do we get people to submit?" Zeraora queried.

"You create an ad and an application online and wait for submissions," Giratina explained. "Just ask Mew for his laptop and he should let you use it. Hell, he may even be able to guide you a bit."

"Alrighty," Zeraora said, rubbing her paws in anticipation as she started heading out of their room. "You coming Silvally?"

Silvally sighed. "Fine…" he drawled. He looked back up at the two, giving Arceus a death glare before smiling at Giratina. "Seeya Giry~..."

Giratina groaned in annoyance.

000

2 months later

000

Zeraora and Silvally approached the doors of the alpha couple. There was a speaker and a button next to the doors now; it was put there so the others didn't just barge into their room. Now they all had to page in.

Zeraora, who was holding a clipboard, pressed the red button. "Arceus, Giratina… it's Zeraora. Sivally and I are ready…"

After a few seconds, the door opened, allowing the two of them to enter the room. The two of them went over to the foot of the couple's bed, where they saw them scoot forward, ready for the news regarding their preparation.

"Alright, it's been two months. Have you guys gotten everything settled?" Arceus queried.

"If we hadn't, do you think we'd be here?" Silvally replied, rolling his eyes.

Ignoring him, the couple turned to Zeraora, who was seemingly going to be the voice of reason of their show.

"He means yes…" Zeraora replied exasperatedly. Over the past two months, she and Silvally actually formed a sort of friendship. She learned that he was flamboyant, was jealous of Arceus, and wanted Giratina for himself. But, other than that, he was a pretty calm and fun guy who was snarky and eccentric at times.

"We've chosen fourteen contestants and sent them emails telling them to be ready for pickup this Friday…" Zeraora explained.

"Good. And do you have your living arrangements in check for your players?" Giratina queried.

"Yes," Zeraora replied, turning up a page on the clipboard. "We've rented a bus for the initial pickup, and two large trailers, as well as a truck that will pull the two of them to each of our locations…"

"Okay," Arceus said, nodding her head. "But, how do you plan on making it across the water with the truck and trailers?"

"Mew is going to help us out with that…" the electric-type replied proudly.

"Alright… great work," the goddess replied. Giratina handed them two slips of paper, their license that prevented them from being sued or arrested, and the list of challenges created by the Hoenn native legendaries.

Zeraora placed both papers on her clipboard and took a breath. With some coaching from Mew, and examples of how all of the other shows have gone, Zeraora seemed ready to go. Silvally, having already done his own show years ago, already had the experience, so he wasn't necessarily nervous either.

"Alright, you two get yourselves ready for Friday. Your season trial is starting soon and we'll be watching," Giratina stated.

Silvally purred. "Good to know~..."

Giratina sighed, while Arceus glared daggers at Silvally. Silvally and Zeraora began leaving the room, with the electric-type hip checking the normal-type, who giggled.

000

Eventually, Friday came. Zeraora purred as she slept in her soft, fluffy bed. Each of her walls were painted blue and yellow, with a black zigzag line separating the colors. Her carpet was a pure white and she had a maroon dresser across from her bed that held a smart television and a dvr. A clock was hanging over her bed.

She had a nightstand next to her bed with a couple of drawers that held books and magazines, while her alarm clock rested on the top. On the opposite side, she had a tall lamp with two bulbs. One near the middle and the other at the top.

The feline was resting peacefully, but it was eventually interrupted by the beeping of her alarm clock.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Zeraora's eyes popped open because of the annoying sound as she reached over and slammed the top of the clock, turning it off. She rose up stretching her body and popping her locked joints. She picked up a weight lying next to her bed, a seventy-five pound dumbbell, and began to lift it with one of her arms.

She took a breath as she eyed the clock. "7:45 AM…" she read. "That gives us enough time to eat, shower, and get everything ready," she said to herself as she continued lifting her weight. She switched arms as the clock hit 7:46, and she sat there for another minute until it hit 7:47.

She placed her weight down and started heading to her door. Leaving her room, she noticed how quiet it was in the hall. Usually it was a lot more chaotic. "Huh. I guess these guys don't get up until nine or ten o'clock," she thought out loud to herself as she walked down the balcony to Silvally's room.

Not wanting to knock and wake up the others, she immediately tried to open the door, only for it to be locked. She groaned to herself as she tried it again, continuing to pull the handle on his door. She sighed, seeing that it wouldn't work. She had learned that the Synthetic Pokemon was a heavy sleeper as well, so he more than likely wasn't hearing anything.

Noticing the lock on his door, she unsheathed a claw and started fiddling with it. After a while, nothing happened, making her irritated. She went back into her room and sat on her bed, picking up her cellphone.

She pressed the number one and the call button before holding the phone up to her ear. After a few rings, her call was answered. "Hello?" she heard a groggy voice say.

"Mew?"

"Zera?" he replied, recognizing her voice.

"Yeah, it's me," she replied sheepishly. "Uh, I know you're tired, but can you like teleport me into Silvally's room or wake him up for me or just something of that nature, please? His door's locked."

There was a bit of silence before a sigh echoed over the phone. "Okay, got it," the New Species Pokemon replied.

"Thanks," she replied with a smile creeping on her face.

"No problem…" he replied. She hung up seconds later, taking a deep breath.

The cat suddenly felt herself tingling as a pink aura surrounded her, making her vanish.

000

Zeraora appeared inside of another room, looking around. She noticed that the room was a light gray, with a red circular rug in the middle of the room. There were a couple of beanbag chairs against the wall, next to a bunch of Giratina plushes. Turning, she saw that his television was hanging on the wall across from his bed.

The chimera was lying atop the covers on his bed, a small blanket covering him as he snored. Zeraora sighed, shaking her head as she approached her co-host's bed. "Silvally…" she called as she got up to his bed.

She started shaking his bed a bit, but got a response she wasn't really looking for.

"Mmph… Giry~..." he mumbled in his sleep as he rolled over onto his other side with a smile.

Holding her head, she rubbed two of her fingers together, generating a bit of electricity between them. She pinched Silvally's side, effectively causing him to shoot up with a yelp. Looking at who it was, he groaned. "Zeraora, come on...five more minutes…" he groaned, placing a pillow over his head.

"Silvally, we have to eat, get ready, and pick up fourteen players…" Zeraora explained, folding her arms. "I'd prefer that we shake a leg early so we don't spend all day doing this…"

"Why are we picking them up when they already live there, again?" Silvally complained, turning to her.

"It makes us different," Zeraora replied simply. "Maybe we'll start a new trend for the others. Who knows?"

"Nearly everyone here is annoying or an asshole, I doubt they'll care," Silvally replied, turning away from her.

She folded her arms at his stubbornness. She glanced around before setting her eyes upon his mound of Giratina plushes. "Either you get up… or I burn all of your Giratina plushes…"

Immediately, Silvally's eyes popped open. He swiftly leapt out of bed and dove into the pile of plushies. "NOBODY touches my Girys but ME!" he exclaimed defensively.

"Good," Zeraora responded smugly, seeing that he was now out of bed. "Now, get ready…"

-000-

As she left, Silvally grumbled to himself as he watched his door close. He exited the pile of stuffed figures before scooting them all back into the pile. He took a deep breath and looked around his room before deciding to head out.

The flamboyant chimera exited his room and headed toward the slide. Peering down, he saw Zeraora heading toward the kitchen. Sliding down, he headed in the direction of the bathrooms and showers. Given that everyone in the hall was of varying sizes, the doors had to be adjusted in order to accommodate.

He opened the large closet next to the door leading to the showers and carefully balanced himself on his hind legs in order to reach the towels. Retrieving what he needed, he headed into the room.

Passing by the numerous, white brick-lined cubicles, each with names over them, Silvally's eyes widened as he saw both Giratina and Arceus were each in their respective cubicles. His eyes widened as he made sure to slow down in order to get a full view of Giratina's wet form. The Synthetic Pokemon cooed to himself, biting his lip as he walked by, with Arceus giving him a death glare.

Silvally returned the glare, very annoyed by Arceus. Humans, who she decided to make disappear completely, created him. Who did she think she was? Mewtwo and Genesect, despite being created by humans as well, had no ill will toward her despite this fact.

In his eyes, he would be a much better god; just her presence alone triggered him and irritated him. In addition, she had Giratina wrapped around almost all of the time! As soon as he was brought into the hall, his eyes locked on Giratina and he knew that he was in love with him. It was unfair that he decided to marry that bitch instead of him.

These thoughts circulated throughout his brain as he eventually reached his own cubicle. Each cubicle was designed to clean the legendary based on their physiology, but due to his attitude and behavior, his was downgraded.

"Stupid fucking bitch…" he cursed to himself as he entered his cubicle. His cubicle, instead of having a shower head, had a hole in the wall with a blue hose hanging out of it. He placed his towels on the outside of his cubicle before stepping forward and pressing a red button on the wall.

The hose rose up straight at him before starting to spray him with lukewarm water. "I… hate this…" he stated annoyedly.

Two nozzles extended from the sides spraying body wash on him. Two towel arms and a singular scrubber extended from the sides and bottom of his cubicle.

He slowly turned around, making sure his whole body got rinsed off. After five minutes, the Synthetic Pokemon pressed the button to stop it. All of the arms retracted back into the walls and floor as he stepped out.

Picking up the first towel with his mouth, he spread it out before standing on it. He immediately started shaking his fur, like all canines do, before picking up his other towel and placing it on the ground. He lied down on it, starting to roll on it, making sure that he got dry.

After a while, he picked up both towels before taking them to the basket near the back of the shower. "Stupid, lousy…" he grumbled to himself as he started heading out of the shower room.

-000-

Zeraora was munching on some cereal while sitting at one of the tables in the kitchen. She looked over her clipboard, which she had to go back to her room to get, and took a breath to ease her sudden anxiety.

Silvally entered the kitchen with an annoyed expression on his face. He was clean, at least. The chimera opened the fridge, taking out a stick of butter.

"Well, you look squeaky clean…" Zeraora commented, noticing his sleeker fur.

"Yeah, if only I actually had hot water, I'd love looking this way in that case…" he replied with a glare as he walked over to the loaf of bread. "So, who do we have to pick up, first?" he asked, slicing the butter and spreading it across two slices of bread.

"Hmm… well our first location will be Littleroot Town, but we'll only be staying there for a couple of days so the contestants have a chance to breath, get their heads together, and get to know each other, so I think we should start from the farthest location and make our way toward it."

"So… start at Sootopolis and then make our way to Littleroot," Silvally said as he placed his bread into the toaster.

"Yep," she replied, standing up with her bowl. "So, I'll go shower, you eat, and we'll get going once I'm out."

Silvally nodded as Zeraora put the sink and started heading to the shower. He sat down where the feline once sat as he waited for his toast to finish.

After a couple of minutes, Entei entered the kitchen. Upon seeing Silvally there, he rose a brow. The two of them were friends, Entei just thought that it was weird that he was up so early.

"Hey dude, uh… whatcha doing in here so early?" Entei queried, nuzzling him in greeting. "Don't you usually sleep in?"

"Zeraora wants to get everything done early so we won't take so long getting everything situated for our show…" Silvally explained. "Speaking of, how's you guys' second season going?"

"Meh, they cancelled it. Too many contestants, low ratings, and the fact that we don't really give a shit really combined into a shitshow," Entei replied nonchalantly.

"Jeez. That sucks…" Silvally commented as Entei raided the fridge.

"It's whatever," Entei responded. "No responsibilities mean that I can spend more time with Solgaleo…"

Silvally chuckled at his friend's persistence. He had been all over Solgaleo ever since his and Lunala's show ended. "How's he doing?" the chimera queried, remembering about the larger lion's depression.

"He's a little bit better," Entei replied, taking out a bag of blueberries. "I'm gonna try to make him some breakfast and hopefully brighten his mood a bit more."

"Aw… still trying to be wifey. How precious," Silvally teased playfully.

Entei winked back as he put the berries on the counter. Silvally's toast shot up from the toaster, prompting him to rise up to retrieve it. "So… you never told me. How good is Solgaleo in the sack?"

Entei chuckled. "Sorry, but that's for me to know and you to find out. He doesn't even care about what I do anymore… which… kinda upsets me. But, hopefully he feels better soon…"

Silvally nodded as he grabbed his toast before going back to his seat. "Well, tell him I wish him the best…" he stated.

Entei smiled, nodding as Silvally munched on his toast. Once he finished, he grabbed Zeraora's clipboard and started heading into the living room. Nobody was there, unsurprisingly, so Silvally sat and watched television as he waited for Zeraora.

-000

Zeraora popped her back as she wrapped a towel around herself. As she dried herself off, she saw a small, pink figure entering the shower room. She smiled softly as she walked up to him.

"Hey Mew," Zeraora greeted.

"Oh. Hey, Zera…" the New Species Pokemon responded, kissing her cheek.

The electric-type blushed. "You getting ready for another show?"

With a chuckle, Mew responded enthusiastically. "Nope. For once, I'm getting a long break. Victini's doing some kinda reboot of our show without us since he wants to see how well the show does without us at the helm."

Zeraora giggled, hugging him from behind. "Well, that's great. I'm so happy for you," she said, kissing his cheek.

Mew smiled back, "Thanks. Oh, and good luck on your show, today…"

"Thanks," she said with a blush before kissing his cheek again and nuzzling him.

She and Mew had gotten closer over the past few months, to the point where she gained feelings for him. They hadn't become official or anything, but at the moment, it was slowly becoming a possibility.

Soon enough, Zeraora let him go, allowing him to get into his section and begin his shower. She headed toward the back to get rid of her towel before walking toward the exit. On her wait out, though, Mew floated out and kissed her on the lips, causing a blush to spread across her face.

"Try to enjoy it… and… don't be an asshole to the contestants. Just don't…" Mew suggested, patting her shoulders.

Zeraora was still blushing from the kiss, but she nodded and headed out of the room. Going back into the kitchen, she saw that Silvally was no longer there, and neither was her clipboard. However, she did see Entei sitting there, mixing pancake batter with blueberries.

She never really spoke to him before, but given that she was going to have to be herself while hosting, she figured that she might as well greet him. "Uh… hey Entei," she greeted, entering the room.

"Oh, you're actually talking, now?"

"Sorry. Just didn't feel that comfortable doing speaking to anyone around here except for Mew and Silvally," Zeraora explained with a shrug. "Speaking of, have you seen the latter? He was in here before I left to go shower."

"He went to the living room," the Volcano Pokemon replied, focusing on his mixing.

Zeraora nodded before walking toward the living room. Inside, she saw Silvally lying on the couch with her clipboard beside him. "Alright, you ready?"

"Are you?" the Synthetic Pokémon retorted, raising a brow.

"Well, Mew just kissed me and told us to enjoy ourselves and not be assholes, so I'm more than ready," she stated confidently.

Silvally cooed, "Ooh… so are you two together now?"

"I'm not completely sure, but it's a start," Zeraora responded with a smile, which Silvally kindly returned. "Alright, let's go…"

000

The duo walked outside, where an enormous bus sat. Silvally was in complete awe at the enormous vehicle before them. There were seats on the top of the bus, as well as inside of it. It looked big enough to hold even Groudon!

"Whoa… how the hell did you pay for this huge thing?"

"I didn't. Arceus and Giratina did. They budget the trials, right?"

Silvally scoffed. "That bitch made me pay for everything when I did my trial!"

Zeraora, not having anything to say, walked toward the bus. She entered it before beckoning the Synthetic Pokemon to come in.

The chimera walked up, entering the humongous vehicle as Zeraora sat in the driver's seat. Looking back, he saw that the seats were a dark black with pink, yellow, and blue shapes covering them, as well as the floor. He also noticed neon poles lining the insides. There were television screens hanging in front of each seat.

"There's a lot of cool things that this bus can do. It has an awesome heater and airconditioning unit," she said, pointing to the vents above her.

"Neon lights…" she said, flipping a switch and causing the lights around the bus to glow and slowly change color.

"TV…" she said, pressing a black 'TV Power' button, which was next to two small volume buttons. Immediately, sounds and light came from the screens in front of the seats.

"And… we can fly, dive, and drive across water like a motorboat," the electric feline continued, pointing to three switches.

"How much did this thing cost?!" Silvally exclaimed as he started walking toward the back as he glanced around. He noticed that there were outlets and cupholders behind each seat, astounding him further.

"Well, it's just a rental, but it does have all of this fancy stuff, so… if I remember correctly, it was 48,653 Poke…" Zeraora answered, turning the wheel.

"UNDER 50,000?!" Silvally exclaimed. "How is that- wait… I'm a legendary and you're a mythical… why did you have to pay at all? You could have just told the company or whoever you got this thing from that it's for a show and that it'll give them a shit ton of business…"

Zeraora shrugged. "Didn't really bother thinking about it. Plus, I ordered it online, so there wasn't really a face-to-face meeting. I ordered it, Arceus and Giratina paid, and Mew teleported it here."

"I'm shocked that none of the others have tried fucking with it…" Silvally marveled as he started walking back to the front.

"That's because Mew kept it hidden until today," Zeraora explained, turning to him. "So, you ready?"

Silvally nodded. "Let's get going," he stated before realizing something. "Wait, you know how to drive?"

Zeraora turned on the bus before flipping the switch enabling flight. A faint pink aura surrounded the bus. "Can you hit the GPS for me?"

Silvally rose a brow in confusion; she hadn't mentioned a GPS. She pointed to a screen on the dashboard near the door, which the chimera noticed.

He slid the lever underneath the screen, effectively turning it on. Zeraora pulled out a microphone that was retracted above the wheel. "Sootopolis City," she spoke into the microphone.

Silvally was confused at first, but he suddenly felt the bus began to rise. "Wait… what is-"

"It has an autopilot function, so… let's just sit back and enjoy the ride," Zeraora replied as she got up and started heading back to the seats. Silvally followed her as the two took their own seats and watched the movie playing.

000

The bus landed in water, immediately going into its boat mode. With the bus rocking back and forth in the water, Silvally and Zeraora peered out of the windows, seeing numerous Pokemon walking about. There were numerous Pokemon walking about who were looking at them.

"Alright, who's first?" Silvally asked, looking over to the electric cat's clipboard. "Alright, our first player is… Pelipper," she said, looking down at the paper. "And… He's the only one who lives in this city, weird enough."

"Address?"

"385 Barecom Avenue…" Zeraora read as she rose up. Silvally followed suit and the two exited the bus, climbing onto the city platform. Their statuses made their presence in the city all the more exciting.

As they walked by, Pokemon living in the city stopped walking and gaped in awe at the two legendaries. Silvally felt proud, winking and holding his head high. Zeraora, on the other hand, felt awkward, as none of the other Pokemon were saying anything, they only gawked at them like hunks of meat.

"This is really awkward…"

"OH MY ARCEUS! LEGENDARIES!" they heard a voice yell from the crowd of people.

"And... So it actually begins…" Silvally stated to himself.

"Come on, let's just find Pelipper and get out of here…" Zeraora replied, covering the side of her face upon noticing that people were taking out cellphones.

After about ten whole minutes of searching for the Water Bird Pokemon, the two of them grew a bit annoyed, as they started were constantly being approached with questions. Sure, they answered them, but it was irritating nonetheless.

"Ugh… where the hell is he?" Zeraora groaned.

"Uh… who are you guys looking for?" a small Meditite asked.

Zeraora really didn't want to rely on a child for directions, but there were also a few adults around. She sighed. "We're looking for a Pelipper."

"Oh. He lives in the alley behind those houses!" it replied happily.

"Um… come again?" Silvally queried.

A Gallade spoke up. "Pelipper… is a special case. He's letting a group of thugs live in his house… without him in it."

Zeraora and Silvally exchanged looks of unsurety.

-000-

The Gallade led the two hosts to the alleyway the Meditite spoke about, where they saw a Pelipper snoozing with a pillow and a blanket covering him. They noticed that the house next to him had a long cord extending from a window. He had a refrigerator and his laptop connected to the cable, along with a small Ikea table.

"Okay what the hell?" Silvally asked in confusion.

"If you don't mind me asking… what do you need him for?"

"We've chosen him for a Total Pokemon season," Zeraora explained, walking up to him.

"Oh… I thought it was going to be something actually important," the Gallade responded. "Don't really see the appeal."

And with that comment, he walked away, with Silvally rolling his eyes as he followed Zeraora to the sleeping pelican.

"Pelipper… PELIPPER!" Zeraora shouted.

The Water Bird Pokemon jumped awake at the sudden exclamation. "Ah! Who, what, when?!"

Looking around frantically, his eyes eventually settled upon the two legendaries before him. They immediately widened in astonishment.

"Oh my Arceus… y-you guys are actually here!?" he exclaimed, flying up. "Oh my Arceus, oh my Arceus, this is amazing!"

"Yep, it sure is…" Silvally replied, looking at the bird's situation. "Uh… what happened? Why are you living here and not in your house?"

"Oh... You know about that?" Pelipper replied sheepishly.

"Yeah…" Silvally replied. "A Gallade told us that you're letting thugs live in your house?"

Pelipper sighed. "I just let one of them stay because he got kicked out of his house, then he brought his friends and girlfriend and invited them to stay as well. Then, they voted on who got to stay and leave, and… I got called out."

"But… But that's your house," Zeraora stated. "I mean… do you still pay the bills and everything?"

"Yep," Pelipper replied. "Like you said, it's still my house, and I still have provisions, so it's not that big of a deal…"

"Uh… dude, you're practically paying low-life losers to stay in your house. How is that not that big of a deal?!" Silvally exclaimed.

"I mean, as long as they're living well and I'm living in general, what does it matter?"

The hosts exchanged looks of discouragement. Zeraora sighed. "Come with us…"

Pelipper smiled as the two hosts started walking away. He floated up toward the window where the cable was coming from. "Alright kids, I'm gonna be gone for a few months, take care of the house, okay!"

"FUCK OFF, BITCH!" a voice from inside shouted back as a glass bottle of Bluk Berri hit him in the face.

Luckily for him, it didn't shatter, but it landed on his laptop, which was sitting on the flimsy Ikea table. This chain reaction caused the table to shatter.

Pelipper sighed as he followed the two hosts.

000

Making it back to the bus, Zeraora and Silvally saw that, instead of just the beige and white color that decorated the outside, someone spray painted penises and the word 'LOOZERS' on the side in a multitude of different colors.

"Oh for fuck's sake! This is just the first stop!" Zeraora exclaimed.

"Hmph, little bastards couldn't even draw dicks correctly," Silvally stated, insulted at the lack of care.

"Don't worry, I'll wash it off. The only paint that the town has is washable," Pelipper said, flying up a few seconds after.

He blasted a Hydro Pump at the bus, and the paint immediately began dripping off.

"Nice work, Pelipper," Zeraora stated, nodding in approval as she entered the bus. Silvally followed after, and Pelipper, after making sure that the bus was clean, entered as well.

-000-

"Whooooa…" Pelipper said, seeing how large the bus was on the inside, as well as how cozy it felt.

"Yep, I had the same reaction," Silvally said as Pelipper flew behind him and took a seat. "So, get comfortable. We have a few more stops…"

"That's fine by me," Pelipper replied with a smile.

"Next stop Z?" Silvally queried as Zeraora stood at the dashboard with her clipboard.

"Hmm…" she hummed in response as she looked over the contestants and their addresses. "Looks like… Mossdeep City."

She turned on the bus once again, pulling out the microphone. "Mossdeep City…"

Immediately, the bus started to rise up from the water before flying out of the mystical city where history slumbers.

Taking her seat, Zeraora decided to engage in light conversation with Pelipper. Sure, she was going to give them all a chance to tell each other about themselves when the game started, but it felt rude not to acknowledge the person they just picked up.

"So Pelipper, what made you want to compete?" the feline queried.

"Well, I was actually finishing watching Total Pokemon: Alola, and I thought… wow, it'd be so cool if they did this in my region!" he chirped. "Then, lo and behold, I see you guys' show on an ad pop-up! I can't tell you how stoked I was! Is the prize really 100,000 Poke like in Alola?"

"Yes it is," Silvally replied with a firm nod. "So, what would you do with that money?" he asked.

"I haven't really decided," Pelipper replied. "I just wanted to get on the show, maybe make some friends, get a girlfriend. You know, the good stuff that usually happens…"

"Ah," Silvally said, nodding in understanding.

"Well, hopefully all fares well for you…" Zeraora stated with a smile.

The three remained in silence for a while, watching a different movie that was playing on the television. Eventually though, as they approached their next location, a question arose in Pelipper's head. "Say, if it's not confidential or anything… What made you guys start doing these shows? Like all legendaries in general?"

Silvally was prepared to be an asshole and bash Arceus, but Zeraora saw his look and gave him a look. "DON'T…" she stated sternly, making Silvally huff as their bus landed on a pier. She then turned to Pelipper, who was a bit confused. "It's confidential. Sorry Pelipper."

"Then what was Silvally going to say?"

Silvally was going to speak again, but Zeraora covered his mouth before dragging him out of the bus. She used a free arm to turn off the bus once again. "Pelipper, you stay here and make sure nobody fucks with the bus again, okay?"

"Um… okay?"

Zeraora stepped off of the bus and closed the door as Silvally lied on his back with an unamused expression. He smacked his lips. "Was that really necessary?"

"Do you really think that Arceus is gonna let you badmouth her on international television?" she asked her co-host with a serious expression, folding her arms.

"Hey, if people can use her 'oh-so great name' in vain, then I should be allowed to criticize her idiotic decisions…" Silvally replied as he got back to his feet.

"Sil, you and I both know that your criticism would include complaining about how you deserve Giratina's love, she was wrong to get rid of humans, and a series of things that only affect you at the hall…"

Silvally gave her a look. She was completely right, he would only mention those select few things. He grumbled to himself as a small smile grew on Zeraora's face.

"Come on, ya big baby, let's go find Spoink and Volbeat…" Zeraora said as she waved for him to follow her.

"Wait, two of the competitors live here?" Silvally queried as he ran after her.

"Yeah," the electric-type replied as she continued walking. She glanced down at her clipboard. "Spoink lives in apartment complex, and… Volbeat seems to live in a normal house."

"How can you tell?"

"Spoink's address has 'Apt 302' next to it. Pretty self-explanatory," she explained with a shrug.

The hosts entered the large city, attempting to find either the house or the apartment complex. The Mossdeep Space Center loomed over a few trees and buildings from far away. It actually distracted Silvally a bit, as he was amazed by the large rocket. This led to him walking into a street sign, where Zeraora was already standing for a few seconds.

"Ow!" the chimera yelped out.

"Hmm… Grimwood and Clark…" Zeraora acknowledged, looking at the street sign before looking at her clipboard to check the addresses once again.

Seeing her do this, Silvally went to go lie on a bus stop bench. Taking a seat, he looked around, seeing people walking by, not caring about their presence as much as the last city. Moving his arm, he noticed a piece of paper next to him.

Looking over it, he saw that it had the words 'Mossdeep City Directory' on it. His eyes widened as he looked back over to Zeraora, who was looking around, presumably for him. After peaking his head over the bench, Zeraora caught wind of him and walked over.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I found us a directory!" Silvally retorted, looking down at the paper.

Zeraora picked up the old, wrinkled paper and looked over it before sighing. "Silvally, this was from like… 100 years ago," she replied. "I'm pretty sure things have changed… a lot since then."

"Well, here comes our next option of getting to where we need to…" Silvally said as he saw a Mossdeep City bus begin pulling up. "Got any loose change?" he teased.

Zeraora gave him a look as the bus stopped in front of them. The two of them entered the bus, which an old Loudred was driving.

"Bus fare?"

"We're legendaries. We don't have to pay…" Silvally started as he tried to move past the driver and get to an open seat

"Legendary or not, I still gotta make a livin' doin' this stuff. So either pay up, or get off…" the Loudred replied, sternly.

Silvally glowered at the Big Voice Pokemon before looking back on the bus and noticing a Spoink sitting near the back, wearing a pair of pink headphones. He immediately rose a brow. He nudged Zeraora before gesturing to the Spoink in the back.

"Hey! Spoink!" she shouted. "SPOINK!"

A Tangela used one of its vines to tap the Bounce Pokemon, who looked to it before looking at the two legendaries at the bus doors. Its eyes widened. "No… way…"

"Yes way! We were just about to look for you!"

"That's it! OFF!" the bus driver exclaimed, using Hyper Voice to blast the two out of the door before closing them. He prepared to drive off, but Spoink hopped to the front quickly, wearing a backpack.

"Hey, you can let me off here," she told the cranky Loudred. He opened the door for her and she jumped off. He promptly sped off, leaving the two hosts to regather and dust themselves off.

"Sheesh, who pissed in his Cornflakes, today…" Silvally commented, watching the bus depart.

"That's just Gene…" Spoink explained. "He hates driving on Fridays. But anyways, EEEEEEEE! I can't believe you guys actually chose me!"

"Uh huh…" Zeraora replied with a nod before noticing her carry-on. "What's with the backpack?"

"Oh, all of my treasure hunting gear is inside!" she chirped. "I can't wait to compete and see what I can find!"

Silvally chuckled. "Ooh, well, that should be very interesting. Well, now you're stuck with us while we try to find another competitor that lives here. Uh, do you happen to know a Volbeat?"

"No, sorry," the pig replied. "But, I know this place like the back of my hand! I've hunted all over the city! So, I can help you guys out."

"Nice!" Zeraora exclaimed. "It's really appreciated."

"It's no problem!" Spoink responded cheerily. "So, where is the other person?"

"Um… his address is 2375 Foghollow Drive..." Zeraora read.

"Oh, Foghollow?" Spoink repeated. "That's not that far from here. It's just a couple of blocks away. C'mon."

Spoink started bouncing to the the right, with the two hosts following suit.

-000-

Walking down a sidewalk, a car drove by, splashing water at the three of them. Silvally and Zeraora both let out irritated groans as Spoink continued bouncing along, seemingly unfazed by the water.

"Here it is," the psychic-type said, pointing to a set of stairs leading up to a door. It was among other houses of the same structure, as they formed a sort of wall like in some areas of Unova.

Silvally shook his fur, getting filthy water out of it, and accidentally splashing Zeraora in the process. "Dang it, Sil!"

"Sorry," he replied.

"FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING DICKHEAD!" they all heard, making them jump from the sudden exclamation. Spoink, hearing that it came from Volbeat's house, quickly bounced out of the way.

An X glowed on the door before the causing the door to break. A Scyther flew out of the house and to the left, flying past them.

"HEY, YOU! YOU'RE PAYING FOR A NEW DOOR, HERE!" a small beetle shouted. He had a mostly black body with a red 'collar' around his neck. He had a purple and yellow striped body, as well as spiral antennae of the same color.

"I'M NOT PAYING FOR SHIT, YOU CHEATING BASTARD!"

"I NEVER EVEN CHEATED ON YOU!" he yelled back as the Scyther turned the corner. It didn't even respond.

Volbeat groaned before noticing Silvally, Zeraora, and Spoink staring at him. He laughed sheepishly.

-000-

"Sorry about her, she gets completely jealous for no reason…" Volbeat explained as he poured tea into three cups on a glass coffee table. "All I did was talk to a female friend on the phone!"

"What?" Zeraora asked, picking up her cup while sitting on a sofa next to Silvally and Spoink. "That's a bit extreme. You sure it didn't have to do with anything else?"

"Well, my friend told me about how her boyfriend wasn't satisfying her in bed, and I joked about how she needed a guy that would sweep her off her feet and fuck her brains out…" Volbeat explained. "She came from the back just at that moment and accused me of cheating!"

"Uh…" Spoink started. "I'm sorry, but if I walked in on my boyfriend talking about fucking brains out and it wasn't me he was talking to, I would be skeptical, myself."

"Same here," Silvally spoke up as Zeraora nodded in agreement.

Volbeat sighed. "Screw it," he said, pulling out a chair from his dining table and sat on it. "She dumped me anyway, so… I guess I'm ready to mingle again…"

"Wow, guys bounce back way quicker than I thought…" Spoink spoke, holding her cup.

"I'm just used to being dumped," Volbeat said with a shrug. "It's always either my fault, something completely stupid, or because of the girls' insecurities."

"Um… if you don't mind me asking, how long do your relationships typically last? You make it sound like it happens frequently," the electric-type spoke up.

Volbeat chortled nervously. "Well, uh… I don't really keep track of the days anymore, since I just expect it at any time, but… I think my longest relationship lasted… eight days."

The others exchanged looks of disbelief, while Volbeat sighed, expecting their reactions. "Yeah… uh, relationships usually suck for me."

"I'm sorry to hear about that…" Silvally stated.

"It's fine. Like I said, I'm used to it," Volbeat replied.

"Well," Zeraora started. "If you're ready, we can head out. We have a few more stops to make."

"Ready when you are…" Volbeat replied.

The four of them started to exit the Firefly Pokemon's house. As they began walking away, Spoink spoke up, looking at the still open door. "Um… what about your door?"

Volbeat sighed. "Right. I forgot about that. People like to steal around here…" he stated.

He looked at them sheepishly. "Um, if it's not too much to ask, I don't want to hold you guys up, so… could you maybe come back to get me once you've gotten everyone? I really need to get this fixed…"

"You can get a door fixed fast around here?" Silvally queried, looking around.

"More like I can just go buy another one and pay someone to put it in for me…" he explained.

"Uh… sure. It's no issue," Zeraora responded in understanding.

"Alright. Thanks," Volbeat replied as he flew in the opposite direction, leaving the other three to head back to the bus.

000

Approaching the bus, the hosts and Spoink noticed that there were numerous posters plastered on the side of it. Zeraora groaned. "Pelipper!"

"Yes?" the Pelipper queried, looking out of the window.

"We told you to watch the bus! Why are there posters on it, now?!" Silvally groaned.

"Oh, some nice guys came up and asked for free advertisement," Pelipper explained. "They didn't seem to mean any harm, so I said okay."

Zeraora facepalmed. "Pelipper, you're not supposed to let anyone put anything on the bus. This is just a rental. We can't let anything bad happen to it."

"Oops," the water- and flying-type replied sheepishly. "Sorry…"

She sighed, "It's fine. Just… take care of the bus when we're not around."

"Hi there," Spoink greeted, waving at the Water Bird Pokemon.

"Hello!" he greeted.

"Silvally, can you get rid of the posters?" Zeraora asked as she and Spoink entered the bus.

The chimera sighed as he walked forward and started slashing at the papers glued onto the side of the bus.

After a while, Silvally entered the bus, shaking his claws to get off paper that was stuck to them. He passed by Zeraora, who was back at the dashboard.

"Where's next?" he asked. "And please, can you just say their address, too so we don't end up wasting time looking for their houses."

"Good call," Zeraora responded with a thumbs up. "And… It looks like we're going to Lilycove City!"

Spoink gasped. "Lilycove City? It has the best stuff! I could find a bunch of stuff there since it's so big!"

"Well, sorry Spoink, but we're only going to pick up our next competitor," Zeraora replied. "We won't be shopping…"

"Aw…" Spoink groaned.

"Lilycove City," she spoke into the microphone. "1902 Hemsworth Avenue."

The bus immediately began flying once again, leaving behind Volbeat, who they'd have to come back for. With a new passenger on board, the hosts, as well as Pelipper, started engaging in conversation with her.

"So Spoink, what made you want to sign up for the show?" Silvally asked the Bounce Pokemon. "I mean, you're a treasure hunter, right?"

"Yep," Spoink replied with a smile. "And I wanted to sign up because, well… I haven't really had a chance to go anywhere else in Hoenn. Plus, I saw a few episodes of shows like this and saw the vast environments that were searchable. So, I decided to sign up and see if I'll be lucky enough to be chosen!"

"Well, looks like luck was on your side," Pelipper chuckled.

Spoink nodded in response as the bus slowly started making its descent toward the large city. Perring out of the windows, Pelipper and Spoink were in awe at all of the large buildings and the amount of Pokemon walking around.

Seeing all of this, Silvally let out a short chuckle. "Looks like I made a good call telling you to include addresses in the GPS."

"Big time…" Zeraora chuckled as the bus continued lowering.

It landed in front of a massive building. The name, 'Mustang Manor', was on the front.

Numerous Pokemon, seeing the magical bus come down from the sky, gathered around it in awe.

"Ugh… fucking curiosity," Zeraora muttered to herself, seeing all of the Pokemon surrounding in interest.

"Isn't this good for publicity?" Spoink queried. "I mean, this'll get more people to watch us!"

"That is true, but it's still a bit of an annoying hindrance…" Zeraora replied, seeing that most of the Pokemon were taking pictures and video.

"Well, just sitting here isn't going to do anything," Silvally replied, giving her a look. "The faster we go get the contestant that lives here, the faster we can leave. So, come on…"

Zeraora sighed. "Fine…" she said, getting to her feet. She turned to the other two competitors. "Okay, this time… make sure that nobody messes with the bus at all…"

"But…" Spoink started. "There are a ton of people around us, how are we supposed to keep the bus safe?"

"She does… kinda have a point," Pelipper agreed. "And we can't really control how other people act…"

"Just… defend the bus from any assholes that try to deface it," Silvally made simple as he stepped off of the bus, with Zeraora following shortly behind and closing the doors.

Having a feeling that things were going to go poorly with the bus, she decided to make herself clear. "ATTENTION!" she exclaimed, startling Silvally, who didn't know what she was doing. "THIS IS OUR BUS, SO IF ANY OF YOU DEFACE OR VANDALIZE IT IN ANY WAY, YOU WILL DEALT WITH ACCORDINGLY!"

There was murmuring from the crowd before they all turned their attention to the bus, taking pictures of both the vehicle and the two legendaries entering the enormous apartment complex.

"Do you know the apartment number?"

"Yep, room 403, so… likely the fourth floor," Zeraora said as they approached the elevators. Silvally pressed the elevator button, and almost instantly, the right one's doors opened, with six Pokemon walking out, a Raichu and her five children, a Plusle, Minun, Pichu, Pikachu, and a Pachirisu.

Upon seeing the two legendaries, the children awed and oooed in astonishment. The only one unamused was the Pachirisu, who was texting.

"Oh, you guys are the one who sent that bogus sign up sheet. What are you doing here?" he asked in a haughty tone.

Hearing his tone, Silvally gave him a look. "We're here to get one of our contestants and actually do something in our spare time. How about you?"

"Pachirisu, come along…" the Raichu stated as the EleSquirrel Pokemon glowered at the chimera. He followed his mother and siblings, but not before retaliating.

"Faggot!" the teenager shouted at the two.

Silvally stifled a laugh, shaking his head as the electric rodent family walked out of the apartment. "Pathetic…"

"Antagonizing a thirteen-year-old. How badass are you?" Zeraora teased sarcastically, holding the elevator door open for the Synthetic Pokemon.

Silvally smacked his lips, giving her a look as he entered the elevator. "He pretty much asked for it by using the word bogus to describe an online signup sheet."

Zeraora rolled her eyes as the elevator door closed.

-000-

Exiting on the fourth floor, the two hosts looked at a small directory that had an arrow pointing to the right with the numbers 400-432 next to it, and arrow pointing up, meaning to go forward, with the numbers 432-464 next to it, and an arrow pointing to the left with numbers 465-499 next to it.

"Alright, this should be easy," Silvally said, seeing the directory. "Room 403, right?"

Nodding, Zeraora began walking down the right hallway, with Silvally in tow. Eventually, the two made it down the hall. They made it to room 403, which, strangely enough, had claw and punch marks on the door.

Seeing this caused them to become a bit concerned about their competitor choice. Zeraora knocked on the door. The two of them began waiting for a response. After about twenty seconds, the door's lock was heard and the door opened a bit, the chain lock keeping it from opening all the way.

A large, blue salamander-like Pokemon opened the door. Its orange eyes and large fins peering through the crack. Upon seeing who it was, he gasped and closed the door. A click was heard and the door opened all the way, revealing a Swampert. "I didn't think you guys would be here already!"

"Yep. Are you ready?" Silvally queried.

"Uh… sorta," Swampert replied. "I don't have to bring anything do I?"

"Other than a good attitude, no, not really," Zeraora replied with a smile.

"Okay good. Uh… you didn't happen to see a Persian and a Machamp on your way up did you?" he asked nervously, twiddling his fingers.

"Uh… no. Why?" Silvally queried, tilting his head.

"Well… I might not have paid rent for the past seven months and the two of them always come try and kick me out. And they may have threatened to kick my ass if I'm not out of here by Wednesday…"

"And… today's Friday," Zeraora replied, facepalming.

"So, uh… let's just hurry and get out of here before they get here," Swampert chuckled sheepishly.

Nodding, the three of them started walking again. As soon as they started walking, Swampert's eyes widened as he saw a feline in a suit, along with a four-armed beast, walking in their direction.

"Oh no…" he whispered to himself. "Move back…"

"What?"

"Come back," Swampert said through grit teeth as he started moving back.

Confused, but compliant, the two of them started moving back before entering the room, with Swampert closing the door and locking it. He moved a black, door-sized grate in front of the door, letting out a sigh of relief.

He turned back to the legendaries, who were standing nearby, looking at his half-empty apartment. There was no real furniture in the room. There was simply a laptop, a throw pillow, and a laptop on the floor. There were numerous pizza boxes strewn about, as well as empty backs of chips. They exchanged looks.

They watched as the water- and ground-type moved toward a window. He opened it and looked out of it, seeing the large bus on the street, surrounded by people. He took a breath as he looked straight down and saw the grass and plants underneath his side of the apartments. "Come on…" he said, looking at the legendaries.

"Say what?" Zeraora queried, a bit confused.

"We need to get out here before-"

A loud crash interrupted him. Turning to the source, the three of them turned to the door and saw a fist unlocking the chain and the main door before kicking in the door. The grate offered little to no resistance.

"Come on!" Swampert exclaimed as he jumped out of the window. Silvally and Zeraora's eyes widened as he did this.

The two of them didn't really have anything to fear, as they were legendaries, and the building owner and its assistant were normal Pokemon. The Machamp ran over to the window, looking out of it and seeing Swampert lying unconscious on the ground below.

"Hmmph. Bastard nearly killed himself," Machamp commented with a shrug.

"Good," Persian stated sternly. "Seven months with no fucking rent and that fuck expects to get off easy…"

He then noticed the two legendaries standing there and grew curious and amazed. "Wow. Had no idea that the lazy prick had legendary friends…"

"Oh, well, we're moreso his acquaintances right now," Zeraora explained, folding her arms. "He's going to competing on a show we're doing."

"Ooh, so he's finally getting off his lazy ass," the Persian said in understanding as he started to exit the room. "Well, for his sake, he better hope that he wins. Machamp, come on. And take his laptop, we might as well try to get a bit of money out of him by selling that piece of shit…"

Machamp closed the window as he moved toward the laptop, picking it up before walking out behind the Persian. The two legendaries exchanged looks. Silvally shrugged, "They were cute at least…"

000

Making their way out of the apartment, they saw that Swampert was groaning as he got out of the foliage next to the apartment.

"Swampert, did you really have to jump out of the window?" Silvally deadpanned.

"They would have kicked my ass," he replied, popping his back. "So, yes, I kinda did…"

"And you escaped by falling four stories and knocking yourself unconscious?" Zeraora replied.

Swampert blinked in response, making the electric-type sigh. "Let's just forget that ever happened," she said.

They noticed that were even more Pokemon than before surrounding the bus. The hosts groaned. "You've gotta be kidding me…" the electric-type groaned. "Maybe we should have just had them come to Littleroot…"

"Nah. It'll be fine," Silvally replied, nudging her with his snout. "We're doing something different and that's a good thing. What other show actually has the courtesy of picking up contestants and getting to know them a bit better beforehand? Just remember that we're doing something that no other show has done before. I'm sure you can get through a bit of publicity."

Hearing that, Zeraora sighed. "I suppose you're right," she replied, as they found themselves slowly being surrounded.

"Plus, once we start the game, the almighty bitch will make nearly everyone disappear," Silvally whispered, as he noticed that the other Pokemon were getting close. "So… it'll most definitely be fine."

Zeraora nodded.

"So… that's our bus, right?" Swampert spoke up in curiosity.

"Yep… and, by the looks of it, people heeded my warning," Zeraora said with a smile as she and Silvally started walking toward it.

Swampert followed the two of them, as the crowd began to cheer. It was strange, but also felt a bit good. The three of them entered the bus, with Swampert's eyes widening upon entering.

"WHOA!" he exclaimed. "This thing is epic!"

"Hey there," Pelipper greeted, raising a wing.

Swampert, seeing him and Spoink, gave them a small smile. "What's up?"

Silvally took a seat in his same spot as Swampert sat behind Spoink, lying across both seats, his back to the windows. Zeraora, gazing at her clipboard, sighed.

"Next point, Fortree City," she said to herself before grabbing the microphone. "Fortree City. 4538 Oakwood Lane…"

The bus slowly rose up, with Hoppip and Pelipper waving, and Swampert snoozing. As the bus took off toward Fortree City, the hosts once again tried to engage in conversation. However, upon seeing that the large mud fish was already asleep, they immediately turned their attention back to their first two competitors.

"So, did you two talk about anything while we were gone?" Silvally queried.

"Hmm… Not really," Spoink replied. "But, a bunch of people asked us what the bus was for and why Zeraora yelled at them."

"And… I take it that you guys told them," Zeraora said, a bit of annoyance in her voice, as she now understood why there was a larger crowd and applause when they entered the bus.

"Yep," Pelipper replied with a smile. "So, who are we going to get next?"

"We're leaving it up to surprise…" Silvally explained. "You'll learn soon enough…"

000

An Ursaring slammed a Masquerain against a tree. "You think you can just come into my house and take my shit?!"

The Masquerain, unlike most others would be in the situation, remained calm. "I didn't take anything," he replied. "Your wife invited me in, and I told her that the vase was ruining the ambience of the room. So, she let me take it. No fighting, no stealing, she literally handed it to me…"

"LIAR!" the Ursaring roared, attempting to swipe at the Masquerain. Masquerain ducked the attack before flying a fair distance away from the angry bruin.

"Why would I lie?" Masquerain queried. "Seriously, you could just ask your wife yourself!"

"I'm going to tear you a new-!"

The Ursaring didn't finish its threat, as it was struck by a vehicle, causing Masquerain to look away briefly. He chuckled, looking back forward. "Gotta love karma."

"Oh! Masquerain, you're already out. Good. You ready to go?"

"Completely," Masquerain replied, pleased by what just occurred. He flew toward the bus, entering the doors. Seeing who all was inside already, a small smile formed on his face.

"Hello," he greeted politely. "I look forward to competing with you guys and our fabulous hosts…"

Silvally smirked. "Hmph. You're damn right, I'm fabulous…"

Zeraora scoffed, rolling her eyes playfully as she got up and headed to the dashboard.

"Well, I have to say… you sure are a cutie," Masquerain said, sitting next to Spoink. She blushed. "Oh. T-Thanks…" she relied with a smile.

Masquerain smirked.

"Alright, looks like we've got three contestants living in Lavaridge Town, so we're going to be there for a while…" Zeraora explained.

"Ugh… great," Silvally groaned. "But, at least we'll be halfway finished with the pickup."

Zeraora nodded as she moved the contestants' information sheet to the front of the clipboard. "Better…" she stated as she grabbed the microphone. "Lavaridge Town. 7732 Burst Street."

The bus rose up off of the Ursaring, who groaned in pain. Masquerain, peering out of the window, chortled.

"So, Masquerain, what brings you on the show?" Silvally queried.

"Well, to win and have a valuable experience, of course. As well as get some camera time…" he explained. "Though, it's a wonder why I've never seen a handsome male like you hosting a show sooner."

Silvally chuckled, a faint blush appearing on his face. Zeraora smiled. "Oh, look, you're blushing and no Giratina in sight…"

"Ha ha…" Silvally replied. "Just because I love him doesn't mean I can't find other things attractive."

"Oh, is there another male already in the picture?" Masquerain queried, raising a brow.

"Ye-"

"No," Zeraora interrupted. "He's in love with Giratina, who is happily married to Arceus. So, no male for him right now…"

"Well, if you're interested, I could give you some advice on how to win his heart. Or at least get you to engage in a brief sexual exchange," Masquerain offered.

"Wait, you know about winning guys' hearts?" Spoink queried.

Masquerain chuckled. "Well, as a bisexual male, I can offer advice to anyone, to be honest. Whether you choose to go with it or not will be up to you and your conscience."

"So, you could help me get laid by the man of dreams?" Silvally queried excitedly.

"Sil, if that ever happens, they will most definitely banish you to the Distortion World," Zeraora replied. "You know how serious they are about that kind of thing…"

"But Giratina would want-"

"He's literally married to God. I doubt he'd give up that type of relationship," Zeraora replied.

Silvally sighed, hearing her points. Of course, they were reasonable, making him feel less. Seeing his shift in expression, Zeraora walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. She didn't know if this would last long, but she knew how he got when he has that expression. "Sil, I know how much you love Giratina, but you have to realize that as long as both he and Arceus are happy, things are not going to change. There are plenty of guys at the hall that you could try to hook up with or just have as casual… you know…" she whispered.

Silvally sighed. "Yeah, but… it still sucks to think about."

"I know, but right now you have to put that behind you. We have a show to host and I don't want you being down in the dumps. I need you for this…"

Taking a deep breath, Silvally nodded. "Okay. I'll try not to think about him."

Zeraora pat his back before deciding to stay next to him. Masquerain, as well as Spoink and Pelipper, wore confused and conflicted expressions, though Masquerain had more of an amused one. Swampert was still fast asleep as this short interaction occurred.

"Hey, we're here," Pelipper squawked as he noticed the bus flying over a new location.

000

Lavaridge Town looked very mountainous from above, having brown, craggy land as its support for numerous buildings and houses. There was a stream of water through the town, which was noticed as the bus slowly descended.

Eventually, it started getting closer to the road and eventually began driving on it for a while. Doing numerous twists and turns, the bus eventually came upon a rather… shabby cottage. There were toys like frisbees and jump ropes strewn about the front yard, with a large tree next to it. The tree held a single ring swing, with a large tractor tire underneath it. There seemed to be broken beer bottles scattered about.

In front of the cottage, where a lot of noises were coming from, sat a lone Glalie who held an indifferent expression. The mailbox, with was halfway broken and dented, had the number 7732 on it, signifying that this was indeed the correct house.

Everyone's eyes widened, with the exception of Swampert, who was still sound asleep.

"Uh… is it wrong to say that I'm a bit nervous about being in this area?" Pelipper queried.

A muffled crash startled them all, as they looked back and saw that a brick was thrown from inside of the house. The Face Pokemon looked at the brick and rolled his eyes before floating toward the bus, unsure of what it was.

However, upon closer inspection, and seeing who was starting to exit it, his expression didn't deter. "Huh. You guys are actually here. I expected to wait longer. Most hosts of these crappy shows are complete and total assholes, no matter what."

"Hey, don't be so quick to lump us in with the others," Silvally said as the ice-type floated into the bus.

Glalie, upon seeing what all the bus had to offer, grew a bit intrigued. "Hmm… Well, we'll just have to see about that, won't we?"

"GLALIE!" they all heard through the still open doors.

Glalie groaned, already knowing who the voice belonged to. "Just hurry up and drive…"

An Abomasnow, stumbling drunkenly out of the house, walked toward the bus. Glalie, seeing this, huffed. "I said, DRIVE!"

"Uh, guys, I suggest that you do as the man asks. This guy doesn't seem too friendly," Spoink spoke up.

"Yeah, definitely," Zeraora said, closing the bus doors and going to the microphone. "Lavaridge Town. 5094 Pinecrest Avenue…"

The Abomasnow ended up making to the bus as a Froslass, three Snorunt, another Glalie, and a Cofagrigus floated out of the house. "IF YOU DUN WIN… DUN E-EVEN THINK 'BOUT COMIN' BACK, YOU WORTHLESS WASTE OF SPERM!" the Abomasnow slurred before breaking the bottle against the bus.

The bus rose up seconds later, making Zeraora growl. "Of fucking course!" she exclaimed.

"Love you, too, dad…" Glalie deadpanned as the bus flew off.

-000-

"So, Glalie, uh…"

"If you're going to ask about my family, don't bother. They're all pieces of shit," Glalie replied. "Dad's a drunk abuser, mom's a bitchy whore, sister's a slut, her boyfriend's a disrespectful cunt, and the twins are devils…"

"Jeez, that… sucks," Pelipper commented.

"No shit…" Glalie responded, giving the Water Bird Pokemon a look of irritation. "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to just sit here and watch TV without distractions…"

"Oh," Silvally started. "Well, if you say so."

"Thank you very much…" Glalie replied monotonously as he just sat and watched the television.

Masquerain smacked his lips as he looked around the bus, scoping out the competition. So far, it seemed like he'd have a rather easy time. But, there were still eight more players to pick up, so he held his breath.

After a while, the bus parallel parked between a shabby greyish-blue car and a family van. The house they were next to was fairly average in nature, especially considering the houses beside it were similar in appearance, only a fainter color.

"Well, this certainly looks like a house out of a cheesy sitcom," Glalie acknowledged, gazing out of the window.

"Hey, you never know," Masquerain replied with a shrug.

Zeraora and Silvally stepped off of the bus, leaving the six competitors in the bus to socialize, if they saw fit, anyway.

000

The hosts stepped up to the door, with Zeraora knocking three times. After waiting a few minutes, an elderly looking Sableye, having wrinkles covering its purple body, answered the door.

"Yes? Can I help you?" it asked, its voice identifying it as a female.

"Oh, hello ma'am," Silvally greeted. "Um, we were wondering if a Numel lived here…"

"Yes, she does. What do you need with her?" it asked suspiciously.

"Nana, it's okay," the hosts heard a feminine voice say as a small orange camel with a greenish tint on its hump and tired eyes made its way forward with a smile. "They're from the show I signed up for."

"Oh. How splendid…" the Sableye replied, wrapping an arm around the camel's neck. "Well, I wish you all the best, honey."

"Thanks Nana," Numel replied, nuzzling the dark- and ghost-type, before walking out toward the bus sitting out front. "I'll see you later."

"Take care. Don't hurt yourself!" the Sableye replied as Silvally and Zeraora started walking back to the bus.

"I won't!" Numel replied with a smile before entering the bus, with Silvally and Zeraora following suit. Once she got seat, she waved to the Sableye, who waved back.

Zeraora grabbed the microphone in order to get them to their third and final location in Lavaridge Town. Glancing at her clipboard, she stated, "Lavaridge Town. 6996 Bellewood Lane…"

After a few seconds, the bus lifted from the ground, high enough to miss the cars, before flying off.

-000-

"Alright Numel, what brings you to the show?" Silvally queried. "Actually, I've asked that enough. What would you do if you won?"

"Oh, I don't mind answering both," Numel replied chipperly. "I'm actually here to get out and meet new people like they do on other shows. And… I don't really have a plan for the money. I'd probably help pay the bills in me and my Nana's house."

Glalie huffed. "Why not just buy another house in another city if your goal is to meet knew people? I'm pretty sure Lilycove City and Mauville City have hundreds of people living there."

"Hmm… that could actually work, too. But, my Nana's been living in that same house since she was a little girl. I don't know if she'd be willing to part with it…"

"Then… I dunno… maybe move out on your own?" Glalie replied. "That's what I'm doing when I win. Or, if I win, which I'm obligated to say so that I don't look like a conceited prick…"

"Oh no, given your home life, my friend, feel free to be as confident as you want," Masquerain commented.

"Hey, I already know that my family is shit. I don't need any pity," the Face Pokemon replied, giving him a look before glancing back up at the television hanging in front of his seat.

"Well, I thought about it," Numel said, getting the conversation back on track. "I'm just unsure about how she'll take it."

"I'm sure she'd be fine with it," Spoink chimed in. "From what I saw, you two have a really good relationship."

"Yeah," Pelipper agreed, turning back to face her.

Numel sat in thought, the options playing in her mind. "Hmm… Well, I'm not gonna get my hopes up, so I'll just wait and see how far I'm able to get."

"Having that attitude will put a larger target on your back. Underdogs always get far…" Glalie stated, his eyes focused on the television. "I've analyzed a bunch of these shows and more often than not, the players who are small, unsuspecting, or do jack shit almost always make it to the merge because stronger players think they'll be easy to take down."

"Well, maybe that'll change. You never know," Spoink replied. "Only half of us are here at the moment."

"We'll see…" Glalie replied.

000

A shapely, red and yellow fowl was seen stepping out of the shower. A majority of her body was red, with yellow, beige and gray accents. She had a V-shaped crest on her head, and blue eyes with yellow sclerae. She was a Blaziken. However, unlike others, her beige hair feathers were actually curly rather than simply straight, with a couple of curls extending between her crest.

Grabbing a towel, she headed into her bedroom, just as her cell phone began to ring on her black dresser. Walking over, she put on a pair of small reading glasses and picked up the phone.

"Hello?" she spoke as she walked over to her bed.

"Okay, that's great. Tell him mommy said 'Hi' and that she loves him…" she replied. "And… thanks again for looking after him…"

A few seconds later, Blaziken giggled. "I guess."

Just then, there was a knock at her door. "Oh, I gotta go. I think this is my pickup. And I just got out of the shower…"

"Thanks. Alright… bye," she responded before hanging up the phone and heading to the door, still in her towel. She hoped that they'd give her a few minutes to actually get decent.

The Blaziken walked into her living room, which consisted of a large sofa and a sofa chair. There was a maple wood television station that held a 68'' plasma screen. There was a gray exercise ball, and six baby blue weights next to it and a blue mat in front of it, in the middle of the room.

She walked to the door just as the knocking began again. Opening the door, she was met with smiles from Silvally and Zeraora. "Hello," she giggled before looking down at herself. "Um, as you can see, I'm not completely ready, but if you want to come in and wait for a few minutes, you're free to."

Zeraora, looking back at the bus, which was slowly getting surrounded, sighed. "I'm gonna go back to the bus. We've been having bad experiences with people, so I'm just gonna be on guard."

"Yeah, I'll come in and wait," Silvally replied with a firm nod.

Zeraora walked back down the stairs in front of the Blaze Pokemon's house to look over the bus and wave away the Pokemon that were surrounding it.

-000-

Inside, Silvally looked around, noticing all of the exercise equipment. He grew intrigued and interested; she was definitely going to be a good contestant. After a few minutes, Silvally heard the carpet shuffles, signalling that she was coming back.

"Alright I'm ready," Blaziken said, hand on her hips.

Seeing her, Silvally was shocked at her figure. "Wow, you've got those child bearing hips! And good muscle tone to boot…"

Blaziken giggled upon hearing that. "Thanks. A lot of guys keep telling me that, and I just tell them to go to the gym to find other girls like me…"

Silvally chuckled as he started heading to the door. "Nice…"

"Oh, can I bring my phone? Just in case something happens to my son while he's at my sister's?"

"Oh, sure. Feel free to bring whatever as long as it isn't deadly, or will aid in cheating," Silvally explained. "Also, congrats. You're the first person to ask that."

Blaziken smiled before heading back to her room to retrieve her phone.

-000-

Exiting the house, Silvally proceeded to the bus, while Blaziken made sure to lock her house door. She looked around, noticing that a group of Scrafty and Scraggy was eyeing her. Giving them a death glare, she made the 'slitting throat' motion before entering the bus.

Seeing her, Pelipper and Masquerain both blushed, but remained silent, while Swampert and Glalie both ignored her, as the former was still asleep and the latter was too invested in the crime-drama playing on the television screen to care about the shapely chicken.

"Wow, this bus is massive and awesome!" Blaziken marveled, looking around.

"Thanks," Zeraora responded.

"You're really pretty," Spoink complimented Blaziken, who only giggled in response.

"Thanks, and you're cute," she replied, folding one leg over the other as the hen began typing on her phone.

"Wait, we could have brought electronics?!" Numel exclaimed. "I just got a new DS and Super Brawl Brothers Max!"

"Blaziken was the only one who asked about electronics," Silvally replied.

"Yeah, and they didn't say anything about me having my treasure hunting gear," Spoink said, gesturing to her backpack.

Numel groaned. "And it's too soon to go back? We're still in Lavaridge!" she pleaded.

Zeraora let out a sigh, giving Silvally a look. "Fine, but just you. We have to go back to Mossdeep and pick up Volbeat anyways."

-000-

After going back to pick up Numel's portable game system, the pickups continued normally. And, as they headed to Fallarbor Town, they all began speaking to Blaziken to try and get to know her a bit better.

"So, Blaziken, given your physique, I think it's safe to say that you like to work out…" Zeraora marveled at, holding a friendly smile.

"Yep," Silvally answered. "She had weights and an exercise ball in her living room."

Blaziken smiled. "Yes. I'm actually a fitness instructor at my gym, so working out and keeping myself in shape is something that I pride myself in."

"Does that mean you only eat those protein shakes and vegetable smoothies?" Numel queried.

"Oh-no. I may be about fitness, but I'm still a sucker for sweets. And I still eat normally; it's just all about moderation," Blaziken explained.

"Yeah, I say that because I like to work out as well and I really like what you've done for yourself," Zeraora complimented.

"Oh really? Well, if I had known that, I would have brought some of my weights with me. We could've been workout buddies," Blaziken stated.

"Well, I have some back in my room. I'd just have to get my boyfriend to bring them to me," Zeraora said, blushing at the word boyfriend.

Silvally also chuckled at that.

Soon enough, Glalie groaned. "Movie started off interesting, ended up being cliche as all shit at the very end," he remarked in irritation. "Where's this pus bus heading now?"

"Pus bus?" Pelipper queried. "Never heard that before."

"Well, we're heading to… 1376 Houston Road in Fallarbor Town to pick up the next player," Zeraora replied. "And then, there are… four more stops before we can actually get you all settled in and start."

"Hmm… alright, I'll give you points for having actual, visual preparations," Glalie replied. "Most of these other shows have dumbass hosts that say they have everything covered, with nothing backing it up. Good on you."

"Thanks," Silvally replied, silently getting annoyed at Glalie already. Why couldn't the Face Pokemon get that not every show was the same?

000

A fossil Pokemon, an Armaldo, was walking back toward her house with a bag of groceries in her hand. Her house was rather average looking as well, only being a blue color with a white roof, door, and windows. She had a front porch with shrubs in front of it and no car. She opened the door of her house and entered it.

She walked past a large television screen that was hanging on the wall and let out a sigh as she placed her groceries on the table. "Okay, now if I can just-"

"Ah, Armaldo," a voice said as the screen emitted a light.

The Plate Pokemon groaned to herself before turning to the monitor. There was a Beheeyem and Watchog looking at her, both of them wearing white lab coats.

"Hello," she responded, deadpan.

"How did the grocery shopping go? Nothing bad happened, right?" the Watchog, a female, asked in concern.

"No. I got what I wanted," Armaldo replied, going over to the bag and pulling out a box of powdered doughnuts.

The two Pokemon on the screen sighed.

"Beheeyem, we talked about this. You can't just live off of powdered doughnuts. You need to eat actual, filling meals. Not junk…" Beheeyem stated.

"Hey, you guys just resurrected me a month ago. I feel like I'm capable of going out and about without you telling what to do twenty-four seven."

Suddenly, there was knocking at her door, something that Beheeyem and Watchog were not expecting. Armaldo smiled softly. She had thought that they came earlier and left without her, but she was dead wrong.

She giddily rushed to the door, opening it and revealing the two hosts standing behind it. "Yes!"

"Uh… Armaldo, who are th-" Beheeyem gasped upon seeing that they were legendaries. And that meant one of two things. Either she used her laptop in a kinky chat room or-

"No. I forbid it! You are NOT competing on one of those legendary shows! Everything about them is dangerous, cancerous, unintelligible, moronic, despicable, sadistic, the list goes on and on!"

"Well, too bad. I'm going, and there's nothing you can do about it," she teased as she walked out of the house, with both legendaries exchanging looks of confusion. They heard the Beheeyem and Watchog's pleas and shouts for her to come back, but Armaldo pushed forward, getting on the bus. Silvally slowly closed the door, feeling very awkward about the situation.

The two of them stood outside the door for a few seconds.

"I feel very bad for some reason…" Zeraora stated.

"Yeah, same here," Silvally agreed, feeling. "Let's get away…"

-000-

The two of them swiftly boarded the bus, again, with Silvally taking a seat and Zeraora manning the dashboard.

"Armaldo… what the hell was that?" Silvally queried, looking back at the rock- and bug-type.

Armaldo was admiring the bus' components, as well as the passengers aboard it. She never rode in any type of vehicle before. She always either walked or Beheeyem teleported her places. Really, most of the time Beheeyem just teleports stuff to her. She hardly ever got to do anything by herself. At most, she went to nearby places like the park or grocery store, but other than that, she had no control.

"Armaldo!"

Hearing her name again, as she prepared to poke Swampert to see if he was dead, she turned to the chimera. "Hi! I'm so glad you guys accepted me!"

"Yeah, and we're glad to have you," Zeraora said as she spoke into the microphone. "Verdanturf Town. 138 South Rocky Road…"

As she returned to her seat, Silvally questioned her once more. "So, what's the deal with the giant monitors and all of the cameras?"

Armaldo sighed. "My 'parents'. They resurrected me a month ago and they're treating me like a child when I'm literally older than both of them, but according to a modernity calculator, I'm twenty-four in this time. But even then, I'm still too fucking old to be treated like a prepubescent child…"

"Yeah… I mean, they're not even your real parents. They can't just treat you like you're their baby. All they did was give you life again. You don't owe them any- Oh wait, that sounds horrible," Numel started.

"Fuck 'em," Glalie stated simply. "They didn't create you; they just resurrected you. And, if you're acting like a functioning, modern Pokemon, I don't see why the fuck they're babying and sheltering you so much. Plus, you say you're twenty-four?"

"In this modern time period, yes," she replied.

"You're a full grown adult. You can do whatever you want!" Glalie exclaimed. "Just know that responsibility is going to be a major part of your life now and you should be set straight!"

"Yep, which is why my first goal was to get accepted here so I could get the fuck away from them. But, then again, they implanted a chip in my skull so they can track me, so I'm not really away from them at all," Armaldo replied. "I just hope that I win. I could get the surgery to remove the chip, find a better house and just live my life with as many powdered doughnuts as I wish…"

"Powdered doughnuts?" Blaziken started. "Hmm… I just prefer the glazed ones…"

"Oh, I like glaze, too. Powdered just sits easier on my stomach for some reason. It's weird," Armaldo replied.

"Attention beautiful people, I think we're close to Verdanturf…" Masquerain stated, peering through the looking glass and seeing a close city.

000

A large blue, gray, and red dragon soared through the sky, flying above all of the buildings before reaching the forest surrounding the town. Slowly descending, she eventually flew down to an opening, where a cave was located.

Landing, it walked next to her mailbox to check it for anything. Seeing that there was nothing there, it growled. "Stupid mailman still hasn't brought me my package!" it growled, its voice identifying it as a female.

Whacking the mailbox with her tail, she proceeded toward her cave. "Hopefully these assholes will bring their asses so we can go ahead and get this stupid competition over with…"

After entering her cave, which surprisingly wasn't that barren, she nudged a stone in front of the doorway, using it as a door. Holes in the rock overhead provided her home with light. There was a generator standing in the corner of the cave with numerous extension cords running from it.

The Dragon Pokemon's cave home had a stone couch that also acted as a bed for her, with a functioning television sitting on a flat rock. She had another flat rock acting as a table, as there were a couple of empty pizza boxes sitting on it, as well as soda cups.

As she took a seat on her couch and used one of her claws to press the 'on' button on her remote. Her television didn't turn on. She attempted pressing the button six more times, having no results. Growling, she threw the remote against the wall, with the back flying out and causing the batteries to land on the ground. The remote landed on a pile of about twenty-nine other remote controls that were thrown by the dragon- and flying-type out of anger.

"Why do these remotes all act shitty when I leave?!" she exclaimed irritatedly.

Suddenly, a knock was heard. Getting up, she proceeded to the door, moving the large boulder out of the way, revealing… the mailman, who was a Smeargle.

"Package for-" the mailman didn't even finish,as Salamence grabbed the package and tossed it into her cave before blasting him with a Hyper Beam, sending him flying.

"Fucking late," Salamence commented before retreating back into her cave.

Just as she proceeded to move the boulder back, she caught sight of a bus flying down toward her. Seeing this halted her moving the boulder and she stepped back out, eyeing the vehicle as it landed in front of her.

A few seconds after it landed, Zeraora stepped out of the bus door. "Salamence?" she queried, not knowing if this was her father or not.

"Yeah," Salamence replied, walking up to the bus. "You're the one who sent the email, right."

"Yep," Zeraora replied. "So, come on in…"

Salamence, looking into the bus from the front, and seeing the type of Pokemon that were inside of it, huffed. "As if I'm going in there with a bunch of fucking invalids."

Looking up, she noticed the seats on the top of the bus. "I'll sit up there, thank you very much…"

She flew up, taking a seat on top of the bus. Seeing this, Zeraora shrugged. "Whatever you want…" she said as she entered the bus again.

-000-

"What happened? Our scaly friend doesn't want to be around us?" Glalie queried.

"I guess not," Zeraora replied. "She's on top of the bus, though, so we still have her. As long as she feels comfortable."

"Whatever," Glalie replied, rolling her eyes.

Swampert flipped over onto his stomach, causing Spoink and Masquerain's seats to move a bit. This interaction led to the mud fish Pokemon groaning and slowly opening his eyes.

"Good morning, sunshine," Numel commented as Swampert sat up, rubbing his head.

He looked around, seeing the numerous new faces on the bus. "Wow. I must've been really knocked out. I don't remember you all being on the bus…"

"Well, you've been asleep nearly the entire time you've been here, so… that'll happen," Silvally explained. "Maybe next time you won't jump out of a window and likely give yourself a concussion…"

"Hardy har har. It just so happens that long vehicle rides make me tired," Swampert replied, folding his arms. "So, how many more stops do we have?"

"Uh… after we get our next player from the town, we have to head to Mauville, Kirikiri Mountain, and then back to Mossdeep," Zeraora explained. "You think you can stay awake that long?"

Swampert gave her a look.

"Alright, just checking," Zeraora teased as she grabbed the microphone from the dashboard.

"46-"

"Don't… finish that," she heard a voice say as she turned her head to the door and saw a Cacturne standing there.

This startled her, as she nor Silvally expected it. The Cacturne boarded the bus, passing by everyone and simply sitting in the back.

Zeroara and Silvally, as well as the other competitors, were completely shocked, excluding Glalie, who had a feeling that a contestant of Cacturne's caliber would be chosen.

Zeraora looked at her clipboard and back at Cacturne. "Uh, Cacturne… How did you know where we were?"

"That's none of your concern," the Scarecrow Pokemon replied tonelessly. "Just know that your email alerted me not remain at my home and find you as soon as possible."

"But, how did you know-"

"I said that it's none of your concern," she repeated, in much sterner tone as she folded her arms.

"Hmph, somebody has issues," Blaziken muttered to herself, looking out of the window.

"I heard that," Cacturne replied, turning to the hen. "And I suggest you mind your own business. You don't know, nor do you want to know, what I'm capable of."

"And on that note, let's just keep it moving," Silvally spoke up.

Blaziken huffed, rolling her eyes. She was stronger than the grass- and dark-type in the physical aspect and type aspect; she wasn't worried.

"Alright, time for Mauville," Zeraora spoke. "Mauville City. 3044 Crimson Road."

After a few seconds, the bus began rising up before it flew off, heading toward Mauville City.

"So, what do you guys think the challenges are going to be like?" Armaldo queried the group.

"Most likely the same unoriginal, pain-driven drivel that all of these shows have," Glalie commented. "If they prove me wrong, I'll probably change my thoughts."

"Do you have to be so negative?" Numel queried. "You don't know what they're capable of…"

"Oh please. I'm sure that you've all seen these shows. Everyone acts the exact same way. The hosts are either idiotic or sadistic and the challenges are almost always random, stupid, or only created to cause harm to the competitors," Glalie replied.

"That's a pretty close-minded generalization," Swampert spoke. "I've seen shows where the hosts are nice and the challenges aren't that bad."

"Yes, but those are usually dull and lack charm," Glalie explained. "Therefore, the negatives outweigh the positives."

"You must be a riot at parties…" Masquerain commented sarcastically.

"I was never invited to any parties, so that means nothing to me," Glalie replied.

"Well, how about we actually let the competition start before any foul judgments are made?" Cacturne suggested, staring out of the window.

"Freedom of speech is a thing, but… I guess I can actually wait before picking you all apart," the Face Pokemon stated.

"Joy…" Blaziken said, rolling her eyes.

000

A purple and yellow Pokemon with numerous pipes covering its body walked outside of a large hotel. It walked toward a bench outside the large building and took a seat, waiting to be picked up.

Numerous Pokemon were walking by. Some going into the hotel, and others leaving. Eventually, one Pokemon, who was familiar with the Exploud, came from the hotel and sat down. The Pokemon, a Tangrowth, sat next to her.

"Uh… well, good luck on the show," it said sheepishly.

Exploud sighed. "You just dumped me, you asshole. I don't need your luck."

"Look, you know that I don't like arguing with you, so just accept it," Tangrowth replied. "I'm sorry that I'm a pacifist who actually respects you…"

"Just… Just fuck off. You're starting to piss me off even more," Exploud replied, giving him the hand.

The Tangrowth obliged, rising up and walking away, leaving Exploud alone. Tangrowth just couldn't handle her personality, which was disappointing to her, as he was a great lover and listener. Exploud's main problem was that she escalates situations too far; she loved to argue and come out on top. It isolated her and made her lose a lot of friends there in Mauville, so there she was.

Eventually, looking up, the Loud Noise Pokemon saw a vehicle flying down toward her. This caused a bit of a commotion, as no one in the city knew what was going on. Exploud, seeing Zeraora open the doors, waved.

"Hey! Hurry up and get on the bus!" she heard. Looking up, she saw Salamence glaring down at her. "I'd rather not just sit around…"

"Then go to sleep. You don't need to give your input," Exploud replied, stepping into the bus, leading Salamence to growl at her.

-000-

Exploud, entering the bus, was astounded by its size and features, similar to the others. "Wow, you guys must have paid an arm and a leg for this…"

"No, no body parts were sold to afford this. This was paid for by another," Zeraora said, moving to the dashboard.

"Nice…" Exploud said, sitting behind Blaziken. "Also, hi…" she greeted.

"Hello," Spoink greeted back with a smile.

"How's it going?" Swampert asked, his eyes focused on the television.

"Things are fine," Exploud replied. "Just a bit anxious for the game to start."

"Well, it's almost five o'clock, so by the time everyone is picked up, it'll be too late," Glalie spoke. "So, it'll likely be tomorrow.

"Wait, it's almost five o'clock already?!" Silvally exclaimed. "I could have sworn that we've only been at this for a couple of hours! Jeez, time really does fly when you're not paying attention to it…"

"Well, we're about to head to the next location," Zeraora commented, turning to the microphone.

She heard knocking on the bus doors. Turning, she saw a bunch of Pokemon holding cameras and taking pictures.

"Oh Arceus, dammit!" Zeraora exclaimed as she grabbed the microphone. "Mauville City. 1776 East Hollow Street."

The bus floated up before flying away from the hotel, leaving numerous curious Pokemon behind.

-000-

"It's nice that some of you were already ready for us," Silvally remarked.

"Well, your email wasn't exactly specific with the times," Armaldo replied. "That's why I was unsure if you guys had already come by my house or not…"

"Told ya to include times," Silvally said with a playful smirk, looking to Zeraora, who rolled her eyes.

"So, you guys aren't going to be like all of the other hosts that do these shows are you?" Exploud queried.

"Finally! Someone else who has doubts and concerns!" Glalie spoke up, making Silvally mentally groan.

"To answer your question, no. We're not going to try to be assholes, but then again, that's up to interpretation," Zeraora replied. "We could be nice, but you could still think we're assholes for… whatever reason."

"True…" Exploud replied. "Though, would you two say that it's warranted or needed, given your comrades' popularity?"

"Oh please. If these two become assholes, that'll lump this show in with the rest of the generic, unwatchable, torture-porn," Glalie replied. "Seriously, nearly every show does the same shit and gets popular for some reason. Seriously, have you seen that show with Mew and Victini as hosts?"

"I have," Exploud said with a shrug.

Everyone else either shook their heads or shrugged.

"Well the rest of you are lucky. That is quite literally the worst series I've had the displeasure of watching. Literally, the hosts are assholes, the challenges are ludicrous and repetitive, the competitors are idiotic, dickish, uninteresting, and childish. I'd rather gouge out my own eyes than be forced to watch that shit again…"

Zeraora and Silvally exchanged looks before looking back at him, as everyone else stared at him. Eventually, Swampert spoke up.

"Sheesh, what is with you?" Swampert queried. "You sound like one of those assholes who talk shit about good or decent movies online…"

"Again, freedom of speech," Glalie replied. "And, I'm a critic, so… it's literally my job."

Masquerain chortled. "That explains it…"

"Yep, I review TV, food, movies, construction… anything," he explained. "I usually post them online and made a lot of people hate me, but it's whatever, I still get paid…"

"So… what? Are you just here to heckle them?" Cacturne queried.

"I won't have to do anything if I end up enjoying myself," Glalie replied, looking back at her.

"And on another note, we're coming up to a strip club…" Blaziken said, gazing out of the window .

000

Everyone looked out of the windows on the left of them and saw that they were, indeed, parked in front of a strip club. There was a red carpet with a velvet rope in front of the door.

Zeraora and Silvally looked at each other before Zeraora checked her clipboard again. "This can't be right…"

Suddenly, they noticed the doors swing open and a Zoroark was thrown out by a Hariyama, hitting a car that was parked in front of it.

"Ha. Strip clubs are shit anyway. He deserved that," Glalie commented.

"Huh… looks like this is the right place," Zeraora stated, shuddering at the thought of going into the club. "Uh… I don't really like the look of this…"

"Don't worry, I'll take one for the team…" Silvally groaned as he got up, proceeding to the door while grumbling.

"Hmph. He knows that he's gonna enjoy going in there…" Exploud commented.

Zeraora shrugged. "He's gay, but hates these places, so maybe he'll just like seeing the guys watching…"

-000-

Silvally entered the 'Kitty Kastle', a shivering running up his spine. To him, strip clubs were dirty, odorous, disease ridden, drug infested wastelands full of horny men with nothing better to do. Entering the swinging doors, the chimera found himself in a hallway illuminated by a red light.

There were three posters hanging on the wall. One of a Liepard with her underwear halfway off, the second was a Lopunny posing suggestively, and the third was a Gardevoir doing a split while holding onto the pole.

Silvally just shook his head as he walked to another door at the end of the hallway. Walking through it, he immediately found himself being nearly deafened by the loud pop music being played. Numerous female Pokemon were seen dancing, twerking, grinding on male patrons, twirling on poles, and of course, stripping.

Given that only a few Pokemon actually decide to wear clothes and are considered weirdos for doing so, this made little sense to him. So, he only shook his head as he watched the mindless males toss their money to the naked and semi-naked girls.

Looking around, Silvally caught the sight of the Hariyama that tossed out the Zoroark earlier. He was currently picking up a Golem that was trying to climb up on stage. Seeing this, Silvally smirked and decided to wait. Luckily for him, the guys and girls were too busy disrespecting themselves to notice his presence.

As the Hariyama carried the Golem to the door, Silvally followed him.

"And… STAY OUT!" Hariyama exclaimed as he threw the Golem at the same car as the one he threw the Zoroark toward.

Dusting his palms off, Hariyama stepped back in, only to notice the equally tall legendary staring at him. This startled him, making him jump back slightly. "Whoa. Don't sneak up like that!"

"Hey, I was following you from in there," Silvally replied nonchalantly.

"Yeah, but still…" Hariyama replied as he started walking past him, before pausing. "Wait, you're from-"

"Yes, we're here to get you," Silvally explained. "And uh… might I ask why you asked us to pick you up from a strip club?"

"I just knew that I'd have to work today. I wanted to put this place and my home addresses, but I ended up just putting the one that I was more like to be located," Hariyama explained. "Plus, I ain't know when you were actually gonna make it. My shift ends in like… two hours..."

Silvally sighed. "You didn't request a day off or anything?"

"I tried, but my boss is an ass," he replied. "As long as he's making money, he doesn't care about personal lives. Hell, one of the strippers' grandmother passed away and he threatened to fire her if she went to the funeral on Saturday!"

"Jeez…"

"Yeah… He sucks," Hariyama explained.

"Then come on," Silvally replied. "Being in this likely disease-ridden place is bad for you. Fuck this place. Come on."

Hariyama sighed. He was unsure about what to do. This was the only job he had and if he lost the competition, he would have nothing. But, then again, his boss was an asshole anyway, so was it really worth it?

-000-

A few of the competitors, along with Zeraora, were outside of the bus, waiting for Silvally to return with the next competitor.

"What the hell is taking so long?!" Salamence growled agitatedly as she sat on the top of the bus.

"Oh, I almost forgot that you were up there," Spoink commented, looking up on top of the bus.

"Fuck off!"

"And that is why it is a good thing…" Glalie deadpanned.

"You wanna go, soccer ball!?" Salamence growled, not taking insults lightly.

"Give respect and it shall be returned… unless I don't feel like it," Glalie replied before floating back into the bus.

Salamence huffed. "Wuss…"

"Where is he? We need to get a move on…" Zeraora stated, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Maybe he became a stripper himself?" Armaldo queried.

"No," Zeraora replied. "He wouldn't d-"

Before she could finish, she saw her co-host exit the club, with the Arm Thrust Pokemon, hariyama, in tow.

"Finally!" she sighed in relief as Spoink, Armaldo, Numel, and Swampert went back into the bus.

"About fucking time, asshole!" Salamence yelled down at him and Hariyama.

"Hello Hariyama," Zeraora greeted.

"'Sup," he replied as he entered the bus.

Zeraora turned to her co-host once the fighting-type was in the large vehicle. "What took so long?"

"Well, I had to stop him after he threw that Golem out, and he explained why we're here instead of at his house," Silvally explained. "Then, he was scared of leaving because he was worried that his boss would fire him because he said he couldn't get a day off. I really had to convince him to come."

Zeraora pat his shoulder. "Well, you got him, and went into a place you hate. How do you feel?"

"Dirty…" Silvally replied simply. "Dirty and disgusted…"

"And yet you'd strip for Giratina in a heartbeat…"

"Hey, that's different. It'd be at the hall," the Synthetic Pokemon replied. "Not at a dirty, pathetic place like this. And I was trying not to think about him anymore like you said!"

"Oh, right… sorry," the electric-type replied with a giggle.

Silvally huffed. "Let's just go…" he said as he boarded the bus again.

"About time!" Salamence growled as Zeraora entered the bus.

-000-

"So, Silvally, did you enjoy yourself~?" Blaziken teased.

"Of course not! It's one of the worst places ever!" the chimera exclaimed. "Nothing but girls with no self-respect getting naked in front of a bunch of horny guys with better things to do. Porn exists for a reason, damnit!"

"Well, sometimes girls become strippers because they feel like they won't amount to anything, or it's a last resort for money…" Exploud explained. "And uh… porn features the same thing as strip clubs. People getting naked. Only this time, they're actually fucking, making it worse than strip clubs."

"I once googled 'Water sports' for a school project, but I didn't have SafeSearch on, so I saw… very weird, explicit things…" Numel spoke up. "It's still burned in my brain."

"Might as well just say the internet as a whole is an awful thing since it features naked girls 85% of the time…" Glalie chimed in.

"I can attest to that…" Swampert stated, raising a hand.

"Are we seriously talking about porn right now?" Cacturne spoke, giving all of them looks of indifference.

"I really wish you guys weren't. We have two more stops and we'll be ready to go," Zeraora spoke up as she grabbed the microphone. "Kirikiri Mountain."

The bus began to lift from the ground, making Salamence scoff. "Finally! What the fuck are those losers even talking about that wastes so much time?"

000

"So, Hariyama, what made you start working at a strip club, anyway?" Zeraora queried.

"Well, as a bouncer, I get to watch the girls for free, get free drinks, and beat the shit out of idiots who try to touch the girls sexually," Hariyama explained. "I specifically enjoy when the idiots fight back. It's even more entertainment."

"What do you know? It's an aggressively horny man's dream job," Glalie stated.

"Hey, I'm not aggressively horny. That's a rapist," Hariyama replied. "My aggression and horniness are two separate emotions."

Blaziken gave him a look, which Hariyama noticed, making him blush and look away. She rolled her eyes.

"I'm just gonna uh… watch TV," Hariyama spoke up, looking up at the television screen hanging in front of his seat.

"So, where does everyone else work?" Numel queried. "I don't really have a job."

"Uh, I'm an accountant, if that's significant to anyone," Pelipper explained.

"It's not really a job, but you know, I'm a treasure hunter…" Spoink spoke up.

"Jobless and proud," Masquerain chortled.

"Same," Swampert said, his arms folded.

"I already said my piece earlier and I won't be repeating…" Glalie stated brashly.

"And I plead the fifth," Cacturne followed, staring out of the window.

"Like I said before, I'm a fitness instructor at my gym," Blaziken spoke up. "But, sometimes I'm a personal trainer, too."

"How much do you charge?" Hariyama queried upon hearing that.

"Self-respect," Blaziken replied, folding her arms. "It's not that type of personal training…"

"I knew that! It was a genuine… Ugh, nevermind..." Hariyama groaned as he focused back on the television.

-000-

The bus flew in the direction of a mountain. Once it was close enough, it slowly descended to the base of it. There was a black and white doll floating in front of numerous cave entrances.

As the bus landed, Salamence immediately growled. "Are you competing on a show?"

"Yes…" the Claydol responded in a somber tone.

"Then come on, you fuck. We don't have all day," Salamence stated irritatedly

The Claydol sighed as he floated toward the bus just as Zeraora wasleaving it to greet him. "I'm in your competition…" said in his same dismal tone. "Let's get this inevitable pain over with…"

He floated into the bus and headed toward the back without saying another word.

"Uh… Alright, then," Zeraora said.

"HURRY THE HELL UP ALREADY, THIS IS BORING AS ALL SHIT!"

"THEN BRING YOUR ASS INSIDE OF THE BUS!" Glalie shouted back.

"OKAY, YOU ARE REALLY GETTING ON MY NERVES!" Salamence growled as she sudden swooped down from the roof and entered the bus, glaring daggers at Glalie.

"Could ya calm down-"

"SHUT UP, TOILET!"

"Okay…" Pelipper replied, looking down.

Salamence then turned her attention to Glalie, who, like a few others, were unfazed by her yelling. This was just her being immature, in their opinions.

"Could ya turn your volume down and stop yelling?" Swampert asked. "You're not doing anything but proving that you're an immature bitch."

"You don't… know me," she growled at him.

"You're giving me all that I need to know right now…" he replied, making Salamence glower at him.

"Now, if you'd kindly sit down and shut up," Glalie continued. "We have one more stop and we can actually start, so just stop…"

Salamence, looking around and seeing that the only ones showing any real fear were Pelipper, Armaldo, and Numel, growled to herself before walking forward and sitting in front of the Face Pokemon.

"Fucking bastard…"

"That's better," Glalie responded, turning to the hosts. "Alright, next destination, please?"

"On it," Silvally nodded as he looked to Zeraora, who was already next to the microphone.

"Mossdeep City. 2375 Foghollow Drive…" she said with a confident, ready smile.

The bus rose up and started flying away, leaving nearly everyone curious about Claydol. His somber tone rose questions, though that should have been a warning.

-000-

"So… Claydol, what's up?" Silvally greeted as almost everyone looked back at the Clay Doll Pokemon.

"The sky, clouds, people's hopes..." Claydol drawled.

"Why the hell do you sound so depressing?" Salamence asked, raising a brow.

"Life. It sucks ass," Claydol responded.

"Then… why join the game if you think that?" Armaldo queried in confusion. "Don't things like this lead to suicide or something?"

Everyone turned to Armaldo with wide eyes, which in turn confused her. "Did I say something?"

"She's not wrong. It does happen," Claydol drawled as all eyes went back to him.

"Uh… I'm sorry, but what brought this about in you?" Zeraora asked in concern.

"All the world has to offer us in inevitable pain and death, so what's the point of being happy?" Claydol queried.

"To find good in the world and find joy despite what's bound to happen," Numel answered.

"Everything in the world is shit, though," Claydol explained. "Concrete causes injures, trees give splinters and steal carbon dioxide from us, people are selfish pricks who only look out for what's best from them, the sky brings about different weather that people dislike, cars and other vehicles produce gas that destroys the ozone layer, food is always unhealthy or tastes like shit in some ways…"

"Okay, we get it… You dislike everything," Cacturne spoke up, growing irritated at the ground- and psychic-type's tone and listing. "If you're not gonna show a sliver of positivity or neutrality, just sit there and stay quiet. I'm sure it'd be appreciated…"

Claydol didn't say another word after that and everyone exchanged unnerved looks.

000

At 6:49 PM, the bus made it to the same strip of houses that the hosts and Spoink arrived at in order to get Volbeat. The Firefly Pokemon's door looked fixed, meaning that he was most likely ready to go.

"Alright, I'll go get Volbeat and then we'll head to Littleroot Town. We'll explain everything there and the competition will begin tomorrow," Zeraora explained as she started stepping off of the bus.

-000-

The feline walked up to the door, knocking on it three times. After a few moments, the door opened, revealing Volbeat, who looked… pretty beat up. His antennae were tied together, he was bruised, his right eye was black, and his nose was a bit bloody.

"Volbeat… what happened?!"

The bug-type sighed. "About an hour after you guys left, I got my door fixed and I just sat in my house waiting for you guys to come back. Next thing I know, my door gets broken down again, and a Scolipede and Accelgor come in, with my ex-girlfriend behind them. They beat me up, stole my wallet, and left me on the floor. Them she spat on me and left."

"Ouch," Zeraora commented, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly.

"So, I had to go into my safe, get money from there, and they pay to get another guy to fix my door. Then, I just started waiting again…"

"Damn… sorry we couldn't have been here sooner. You wouldn't have gotten beat up," Zeraora said, feeling a bit responsible.

"No, no, if anything, it's my fault. I made her want to break up and she sliced my door down in the process the first time," Volbeat explained. "If that hadn't happened, I'd already be on the bus…"

"You sure you still wanna compete?"

"Of course!" Volbeat replied confidently. "Just because my ex got her brothers to beat me up doesn't mean I'm incapable of competing."

Zeraora giggled at this. "Good to hear. Let's get you on the bus so we can get this started."

Volbeat locked his door before closing it. He then flew toward the bus, with the electric-type behind him.

Upon entering the bus, Silvally's eyes widened upon seeing his condition, as did Spoink's and everyone else's.

"Hello everyone," he greeted, acknowledging the looks of concern he was getting. "I'm okay,don't worry…"

"W-What happened to you?" Spoink queried.

"This is what happens when your ex-girlfriend dumps you and tells your brothers to beat you up," Volbeat answered as he flew back and sat behind Pelipper.

"What'd you do to make that happen?" Exploud asked.

"I spoke to a female friend of mine over the phone who was having boyfriend troubles and she heard me saying joke things to her," Volbeat explained. "She took it seriously…"

"As any girl would…" Blaziken reasoned.

"She dumps you… then tells family members to beat you up?" Hariyama queried. "Ain't that supposed to be the other way around? Boy dumps girl, girl gets revenge?"

"Not this time…"

"Alright," Zeraora spoke up. "Let's get to Littleroot Town and we can begin."

A good amount of the competitors cheered.

000

Littleroot Town was a rather large town with tall buildings and towels. There was also a port, giving the town a great ocean view.

The bus landed in a grassy section of the town, with two large lodges around, along with a truck with two trailers attached to it.

"And… we're here," Zeraora said as she opened the doors of the bus and stepped off, with Silvally following shortly after.

The fourteen competitors stepped off of the bus, admiring their location. The lodges looked really cozy and warm, being completely made of wood. They looked like they were two stories.

However, noticing the trailers, Glalie's expression dimmed.

"Uh, why are there trailers here?" the Face Pokemon queried. "We'd better not be using those instead of these lodges…"

"Well, we-"

"You have an enormous bus that can fly us to and fro… and two cozy looking cabins… yet you're going to make us sleep in fucking shitty-looking trailers?" Cacturne queried, raising a brow.

Silvally turned to Zeraora, "I actually was thinking about that…"

Zeraora rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "Well… I suppose that we can do it like Solgaleo and Lunala and just have a stable resting location…"

Almost everyone cheered at this.

"Now, about the show," Zeraora replied as she cleared her throat. "Welcome to Total Pokemon: Hoenn. You all have been selected to compete for the prize of 100,000 Poke. Now, similar to other shows that you may or may not have seen, you all will be competing in challenges. After each challenge,one by one, you will be eliminated by your fellow competitors."

"The last player standing wins it all and enters the TPI Hall of Fame," Silvally explained.

"Which only have two deserving winners over the span of twenty plus…" Glalie commented.

"Shh," Blaziken hushed, making Glalie roll his eyes.

"Now, ground rules. You all are adults, so we're not gonna stop you from doing...whatever. Just know that if a girl gets pregnant-"

"Both soon to be parents are eliminated," Pelipper finished.

"Correct," Zeraora spoke. "There is no killing allowed here, no matter how angry you get."

"But we are allowed to fight, right?" Salamence queried.

"Why would you be so quick to ask that?" Numel queried.

Salamence sneered at her, making the Numb Pokemon swallow in nervousness.

"Yes, fighting is allowed. Just no murder…" Silvally replied.

"Alright, now, about the lodges…" Zeraora started. "The fridge is stocked every two weeks, there are three rooms, two with two beds and one with three."

"Oh joy… roommates…" Claydol drawled.

"There are also things inside such as a television, air conditioner, couches, and bathrooms," Zeraora continued.

"Nice!" Blaziken chirped, holding her hands together.

"And… When are we doing the challenges?" Hariyama queried. "Is there going to be a designated time?"

"Challenges are generally going to take place on Saturdays and Wednesdays…" Silvally explained. "That should give you enough break time between challenges."

"Those are… kinda weird days," Swampert remarked. "But, okay."

"And… since the trailers will no longer be the main sleeping quarters, they can act as gender specific confessionals," Zeraora explained. "But, you can still sleep in there if you see fit."

"Cool!" Spoink cheered.

"Now, it's almost seven, so we're going to leave you all to your own devices and let you get to know each other," Silvally explained. "Also, the guys get the right lodge and the girls get the left. However, we don't care about where you guys decide to sleep."

"Good to know..." Masquerain commented.

"Now, you guys enjoy your first night and let's have a fun day tomorrow," Zeraora said as she and Silvally entered the bus.

A few of the contestants started going back to the lodges, with only a few staying to see the hosts off.

"Wait, what about teams?" Armaldo queried.

"Those will be established tomorrow, don't worry," Silvally said as the doors closed. A few minutes later, the bus rose up from the ground and vanished.

000

The girls entered their lodge, with Blaziken being the first inside to scope out the place. Upon entering, she saw that, to her left, there was a living room area, with a step that led down to it. There were three, maroon couches organized in a square fashion, giving a good view of the large television hanging over the fireplace. There was a glass table sitting in the middle of the couches.

To the right, there was wooden table with four chairs sitting there. Looking forward on the right side, there was a small kitchen area. Curious, Blaziken headed over to the area to check it out.

A few of the other girls entered, admiring the coziness of the building. Well, a couple of them anyway.

"Whoa, this looks much better than how I pictured it," Exploud commented.

"I expected worse. Not disappointed at all," Cacturne stated, looking around.

"Hmph. Looks like shit, to me…" Salamence said brashly, pushing past the two girls and moving forward as Spoink, Numel, and Armaldo entered.

Once she was out of the way, Cacturne grumbled to herself. "She is definitely going to be a pain in the ass."

"Well, I'll take her as a roommate," Exploud offered. "Maybe her bitchiness will lead her to want to sleep out in the trailers…."

"And what if it doesn't?" Cacturne replied, folding her arms.

"I was captain of the debate team in high school and college. I'm sure I can handle a girl with a piss-poor attitude," Exploud replied, folding her arms. "Plus, I can get much louder than her and shut her down."

"As long as you don't disrupt our sleep," Cacturne stated.

"Spoink, Armaldo, and I are gonna take the room with three beds," Numel said, walking past the two.

"Wait, what?" Cacturne asked. "That leaves me with…"

The Scarecrow Pokemon looked toward the kitchen, where she saw the shapely hen looking around the pantry. She sighed to herself.

"What's the matter?" Exploud asked, seeing Cacturne's reaction. "She seems nice."

"Well, I feel like she and I aren't going to really see eye-to-eye," Cacturne replied as they moved toward the back rooms. "I appeared next to the bus through means that I'm not obligated to tell you, and when I said that it was none of their concern of how I got there, she said I have issues. Then, I told her to mind her own business and… kinda threatened her."

"Ouch…" Exploud replied. "But, she heard the us talking about the rooms and didn't seem bothered. I don't think she cares anymore."

"She was distracted…" Cacturne reasoned. "Long story short, I don't think we're gonna be able to tolerate each other unless we decide not to speak to each other at all."

"Well, that's not gonna work if you guys end up on the same team…"

"I just have to hope that it's not the case…" Cacturne replied.

-000-

"So girls, how do you feel so far?" asked Numel as she sat on her bed.

"I'll admit, I'm a bit nervous," Armaldo said. "Everyone here has their own complex personalities and I don't really know if I'll like some of them or not…"

"That's why you have to get to know others," Spoink said, unpacking her bag. She pulled out a metal detector with an extendable handle, headphones, a dowsing machine, a laptop, and a camera.

"Whoa…" Numel marveled. "That's a lot of stuff…"

"You never know what you're going to find," Spoink replied with a smile.

"What's the weirdest or best thing you've ever found?" Armaldo queried, seeing all of the equipment.

"Uh… the weirdest… probably a wallet full of condoms. Best? An idol that I sold for 400 Poke," Spoink explained.

"Wow, that's awesome," Numel commented. "The most money I've made in a day is 40 Poke…"

"That's still pretty good," Armaldo replied. "I just get money whenever because of my 'parents'. So, I've never made any money myself."

"Lucky…" Numel replied.

"No, not lucky. I want to be able to do things for myself," Armaldo explained. "That's another reason why I signed up for the show."

"Well, hopefully things go well for you…" Spoink said, bouncing onto her own bed.

"Yeah…"

Suddenly, faint sizzling was heard and a faint, delicious smell wafted throughout the lodge.

"Whoa… Something smells good in here all of a sudden…" Numel remarked, sniffing the air. Seconds later, her stomach growled, as did Spoink's and Armaldo's.

-000-

Humming to herself as a pot simmered with oil and basil inside, Blaziken sliced a few pre-peeled potatoes that she found in the refrigerator. She was making herself some soup, as she hadn't eaten for hours. This was a recipe that her mother taught her when she was younger, so she knew exactly what she needed and what she could substitute.

She was thinking about making enough for everyone, but she didn't really want to be assigned as 'the cook' whenever the others got hungry. However, she knew that it'd be selfish, as she had a feeling the others hadn't eaten either. She hoped that they had, though.

Dumping the potatoes into the pot, she dusted of her hands as she picked up the salt and pepper shakes that were sitting on the counter.

She heard footsteps coming up front, which she expected, and soon enough, Spoink, Numel, and Armaldo made their presence known.

"Hey Blaziken. Whatcha cooking up here?" Numel asked. "I smells nice…"

The hen giggled. "It's just Potato Basil Soup. What you smelled was just the butter and basil. I just the potatoes in, so the smell should expand a bit," she said, putting salt and pepper into the mix.

"Uh… once you finish… could we have some?" Spoink asked sheepishly.

"Um… sure," Blaziken replied. "It should be enough…" she said, stirring the potatoes before reaching for the vegetable broth.

"Who the hell is cooking up here?" Salamence asked as she walked back to the front.

"Do you always sound angry?" another voice asked, making Salamence narrow her eyes in annoyance. Exploud stepped forward before walking toward the table and taking a seat. "Anyways, Blaziken, that… smells great so far."

"Thanks," the Blaze Pokemon replied with a smile. "And, I'm guessing that you'll want some as well?"

"I mean… if you insist…"

Blaziken playfully rolled her eyes.

"Well, you losers can eat that trash. I'll just take some… uh… Hey, what else do they have in the fridge and freezer?"

"Juice, soda, meat, fruit, vegetables, frozen pizzas…" Blaziken listed.

"Yeah! Pizza! Gimme that!" the Dragon Pokemon said, pushing past the girls and heading to the fridge. She opened the freezer side and pulled out a frozen pizza with her mouth. She closed the door with her tail before flying out of the kitchen and back to her and Exploud's room.

"I-Is she seriously going to eat it just like that?" Armaldo queried.

"Just let her do her…" Exploud said, waving her actions off.

"I wonder how the guys are doing in their cabin," Spoink said.

000

"I am not rooming with the sad sack!" Glalie stated angrily. "There's no way in the Distortion World."

"Well, Swampert and Volbeat already agreed to be roommates, and Pelipper, Hariyama, and I agreed, too," Masquerain replied. "So, you don't really have an option unless you or Claydol sleep in the trailer."

"Oh great, so I risk either looking like an antisocial prick or an intolerant asshole…" Glalie drawled. "Joy…"

"Should've chosen faster," Masquerain replied as he flew out of the Face Pokemon's room.

Glalie looked back at Claydol, who was lying down in one of the beds. He groaned in annoyance before floating out.

The ice-type floated out to the front, where he saw Hariyama, Pelipper, Volbeat, and Masquerain watching a wrestling match on television while sitting on their dark blue couches. Meanwhile, Swampert was raiding the pantry and kitchen, checking what they had.

Glalie's stomach growled, making him sigh. "Hey Swampert, what food have they oh-so graciously provided us with?"

The Mud Fish Pokemon was looking with both the freezer and refrigerator doors open. "They've got some good things in here. There's jello, yogurt, frozen pizza, steaks, pork chops, bananas, drinks…"

Glalie rose a brow, floating over and seeing that he was correct. "Huh. I guess they really are showing that they care."

"So, what do you guys think of the girls so far?" Volbeat queried.

"All I've gotta say is Blaziken has a fat ass," Hariyama stated. "She reminds me of the strippers at my job…"

"Meh, she's only here for sex appeal," Glalie reasoned. "All shows like this have either a male or female that fits that category. Though, I'll give her this. She actually has a bit of personality compared to others I've seen on the show. Usually they just stand around, do jack shit, and make it far just because they look good or they're fucking someone who's bound to make it further."

"I say we give her the benefit of the doubt," Swampert said, a bit irritated at Glalie's attitude. "She's a fitness instructor and a personal trainer. I'm sure she has a bright personality…"

"Well, we'll have to see, now won't we?" Glalie responded.

"All I know is that I'm tired of Salamence already," Masquerain commented. "She's acts like such a bitch for no reason…"

"Hey, we don't really know if there's a reason or not. We'd have to get to know her fi-"

"Pelipper… Shush. Do you really think that she'll let anyone get to know her?" Glalie responded. "Bitches like her always get the shaft early because they never provide any usefulness unless they're kicking someone's ass or kicking people while they're down. Even then, they don't give a reason, and when they do, it's the same sob story…"

Swampert held his tongue and just decided to head back to his room, not wanting to hear Glalie's over-analytical tangents. He grabbed a bag of potato chips from the pantry and a soda from the fridge before heading to the back.

"Spoink and Numel are pretty cute," Volbeat brought up. "Armaldo seems a bit weird, Exploud seems like she'll be a worthy competitor, and… I'm a bit afraid of Cacturne. I don't know why."

"That's just her species. Being all edgy and mysterious," Masquerain said. "I've only ever seen one Cacturne that wasn't all creepy and brooding, and that's at the circus."

"It is kinda peculiar how she knew exactly where the bus was and didn't want to tell anyone," Glalie added. "Kinda suspicious if ya ask me…"

"Yeah, but remember what she told Blaziken. We don't want to know what she's capable of…" Pelipper replied.

"More than half of us are able to kick her ass with no problem," Hariyama chuckled. "I doubt that she's a real threat."

"Who knows?" Masquerain replied. "I mean, we're all threats in our own rights. It'll all come down to the threat who's able to outsmart and outlast everyone else."

The guys all exchanged looks.

000

The Thunderclap Pokemon and the Synthetic Pokemon sat in the living room, monitoring what was happening in the lodges.

"I think this'll be a decent season," Silvally commented, seeing the competitors interact and break off. "Not that many duds and they seem to be able to bounce off of each other pretty well."

"Yep. And it's not even eight o'clock yet…" Zeraora replied before looking to him. "So, how do you want to break up the teams tomorrow?"

"We can let them decide that," Silvally replied. "The winners of the first challenge tomorrow."

Zeraora nodded before sighing. "Well, let's see how all of this plays out in the end…"

000

Surprise, I guess. Total Pokemon: Hoenn! Yay! *crickets chirp* Oh right, it's me… Well, whatever. I decided to take a different approach to things and see if it works. So yeah. This'll just be something else I'll be working on. And those who know me already know what to expect, so… yeah… sporadic uploading… yay. Anyways, give me your thought son the hosts and contestants and give me some predictions. Anyways, I'll see you all next time on Total… Pokemon… Hoenn! See ya guys, BYE!