DATEN CITY 1997
Stocking woke up the morning after a massive night of sex, drugs, dancing and of course, sweets. She waddled down the stairs to the kitchen to make breakfast.
Chocolate cereal with chocolate sauce and chocolate sprinkles. With a cup of coffee with almost half a bag of sugar in it.
Panty would normally criticize her sister for eating too much "sweet shit" in the morning, but thankfully for Stocking, her sex-obsessed sister wasn't in the house.
As Stocking ate her chocolaty cereal, she wondered where her sister was.
Fuck it, a day without that cunt is a Godsend, she thought to herself.
All day long, Stocking was glad to have a Panty free day. She was able to go into her sister's forbidden room and look at her porno mags, her scrapbook of pictures of penises from all the men she fucked and tried on her ever so slutty dresses.
The next day, Panty was still not back. Stocking began to worry.
Also, if there was a ghost to fight, Stocking needed Panty.
So Stocking visited all the places her sister would be; 'Gigolo's Choice' brothel, the chemist shop (Panty buys a LOT of condoms there, and lube), the sex shop 'Blo U', almost every pub in the city and even Brief's house.
She asked everyone where Panty was and no-one had an answer, not even Brief.
She had been asking everyone all day and it was now night.
Right, there's only one more place to go, thought Stocking with a sigh.
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The Deamon Sisters were in their living room in City Hall. Scanty was flipping through the channels of the TV trying to find a decent show to watch.
"Ugh, ANOTHER movie about World World 2," she groaned. "Ugh, reality shows. There's nothing real about them. I despise Gordon Ramsey and The Kardashians for their rudeness and narcissism."
"There are reservations in Hell for them, sister," added Kneesocks. "Right next to 'Politicians'."
Scanty sighed.
Just then, the door flew open to reveal Stocking with her katana.
"Alright you Satanic sluts!" she barked. "Where is my….."
"Your sister has been sent back in time," interrupted Scanty.
"What?" asked Stocking entering the room and over to the Deamon sisters.
Scanty pressed a button on the remote and picture of a 22 year old man in oh-so-90's clothing appeared on the screen.
"You sister was kidnapped by this man," explained Scanty. "Barrington Staggs, he was the number 1 DJ in Daten City back in the 90's. The decade was his time. You see, Barrington was an outcast as a child; shy, anti-social and couldn't fit in if he tried."
"That was until he developed an interest in music," Kneesocks continued. They always finished each other's speeches. "Rave at that time was getting popular, and Barrington became a fan of the genre. He learnt how to use the turntables and even wrote his own music. He then became the city's rave king."
"But he realised that he wouldn't be popular forever," said Scanty. "The 90's were ending and his decade was almost over, so on New Year's Eve, 1999, he took his own life via pills. Plus he was worried about the world ending in 2000 like most people did."
"As a ghost, he escaped and stole the Hell time travelling device," said Kneesocks.
On the screen, it showed a remote control with a small screen on it.
"Every Demon has one, but only needed if necessary," said Scanty. "Barrington stole one whilst in Hell and rose to Earth to travel back in time to his beloved decade."
"But right before he went back in time, he fell in love with Panty," said Kneesocks. "So 2 nights ago, he kidnapped her whilst you were at that club, and has brought her to the year 1997."
"How do you know if they're in 1997?" asked Kneesocks.
"He called us and said 'Guess who's in 1997? Mother…," Scanty began to say, but didn't want to finish the sentence because she didn't swear.
"To add insult to injury, he also has got the living Barrington Staggs hostage and has taken over his life," said Kneesocks.
"So all I got to do is go back in time to 1997, save the living Barrington and kill the ghost one," said Stocking.
"Well, what do you know," Scanty said sarcastically. "The goth has few brain cells after all."
Kneesocks handed Stocking the time travelling remote.
"Use it wisely, Anarchy," said Kneesocks. "And don't screw up!"
Stocking left the room.
"Sister, it would be lovely if the Anarchies were lost in time forever," said Kneesocks with a smile.
"But don't forget, there will always be other angels like the Anarchies," reminded Scanty.
Kneesocks sighed with disappointment.
"Life is so unfair, sister."
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Stocking arrived outside with the remote. She looked at it. She pressed the buttons "1,9,9,7" and hit the ENTER button.
Suddenly, in a bright light, she vanished.
All Stocking could see was the bright light for about 10 seconds, and then…
It faded.
Then Stocking's eyebrows rose.
All the kids were dressed in colourful rapper like clothes, the haircuts were curtains, all the kids were skateboarding, others were playing with Game Boys and listening to walkmen and most surprising of all, no one was playing with the Smartphones. Infact, there were no Smartphones at all.
She was in the year 1997!
"Been a while," said Stocking as she walked down the street.
She saw graffiti everywhere. Cars driving past were playing Spice Girls, Hanson, Take That, Oasis and Bjork on the radio.
Stocking made her way into town and looked inside the windows of all the shops. She found a game shop, that were selling SNES's, Sega Genesises, PlayStations, N64's and Game Boys.
"None of that DLC crap," she said to herself. "Just good old 'put the game in and play'."
She walked past a video shop and looked through the window. The videos available to rent were Wayne's World, The Fifth Element, Lethal Weapon 4, Mr Bean, Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, Home Alone, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, Independence Day, Jurassic Park, Batman Returns and Forever and FART The Movie. The latter made Stocking confused.
She sighed as she looked at the covers with Bruce Willis, Mel Gibson and Mike Myers on them.
"Guys, you had at all. And now you're nothing. Mel, you made a comeback, Mike and Bruce, you better give us something fucking spectacular soon."
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Stocking made her way to "Daten City Jamm", the hottest nightclub in the city. As everyone entered the building, Stocking could hear some people talk about The Simpsons:
"Dude, it's my favourite show. I hope it never fuckin' ends!"
Stocking just shrugged her shoulders.
You're gonna regret saying that, she thought.
She entered the club and everyone was dancing to the Prodigy, Snap's I've Got the Power, Alex Party's Don't Give Me Your Life, Culture Beat's Mr Vain, Strike's U Sure Do and more.
Barrington was at the DJ turntables. The audience cheered like crazy and chanted "BARRY! BARRY BARRY!". Stocking put on her ghost detector goggles. From her POV, she saw that it was the Ghost Barrington.
"Now, ladies and gentlemen, a treat for you tonight!" announced the Ghost Barrington. "A new hot number, give it up for PANTY ANARCHY!"
A spotlight shined on the stage which had a pole. Then "The Macarena" started to play and Panty, dressed in a red bra and panties with high heels strutted out over to the pole and began to pole dance.
The audience were enjoying her dance and then, to Stocking's shock and horror, Panty started to twerk. The audience couldn't believe what they were seeing. Stocking just shook her head in disgust.
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Backstage, Panty and the Ghost Barrington were talking to friends. One of them was a woman who said to Panty:
"What was that dance you were doing with your butt?"
"It's a new dance I invented called 'twerking'," lied Panty.
"Lying bitch!" said a voice.
To Panty's disappointment, it was Stocking entering the room.
"Twerking is an unsexy dance invented by an unsexy person," said the goth.
An angry Panty got up and walked over to Stocking.
"Bitch, what the fuck are you doing?" the blonde muttered to her sister.
"I'm rescuing you and we're gonna kill the ghost?" Stocking muttered back.
"Ghost? What ghost?" asked Panty.
"Barrington, you fucking 'tard," said Stocking who looked at the Ghost Barrington, who smiled back.
"Barry is not a ghost," said Panty. "Fuck off and pull someone else's chain. Besides, I'm NOT going back to 2017."
Stocking was stunned at this news.
"What?"
"Yeah, bitch, I'm staying in the Nine-tays!" answered Panty.
"But….," Stocking tried to speak but was lost for words.
"No more fighting ghosts, no more Deamon sisters, no more Garter, no more work, just all play, motherfucka!" replied Panty.
"But what about your DVDs?" asked Stocking.
"DVDs get scratched and skip and freeze," said Panty. "With VHS, the tape gets caught in the VCR, but you can get another copy."
"What about Netflix, YouTube, Wikipedia, ordering cool foreign stuff online?" asked Stocking.
Panty couldn't think of an answer and just yelled "Guards!"
Two bouncers came in.
"Get Nine Inch Nails out of here!" Panty ordered.
The bouncers grabbed Stocking and pulled her out of the room.
The goth was thrown out of the club.
Her self-centered sister wouldn't listen, what was Stocking to do.
She thought who could be a close ally.
Then it hit her.
"GARTER!"
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Garter was in his church-house watching TV. He was dressed similar to MC Hammer, the hair, baggy pants, everything.
He was watching an old episode of "Family Matters", and when the teenage Urkel came on screen, he felt a little aroused. Then he put his hand down the front of his pants and began to…..
But the doorbell rang! He growled in frustration. He got up and stormed to the door. He opened it and saw Stocking.
"Garter?" the goth asked looking at his 90's look.
"Babe, yo' better not be a Jehovah's Witness!" cried Garter.
Stocking looked at the massive hard-on sticking out from the front of his pants. Garter covered it with embarrassment.
"Holloween's over, tricker or treater!" he said.
"Garter, my name is Stocking and I am an angel from the future," explained the goth.
Garter just burst out laughing.
"Very funny, but the comedy club is down the street, night, night."
Stocking took off one of her stockings and turned it into a katana. Garter was surprised and had a change of heart.
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Stocking told Garter about 2017 and even what he did in that year.
"So you and your sister are angels who fight ghosts with your underwear?" he asked.
"Yeah, but my cunt sister doesn't believe that Barry Staggs has been kidnapped by the ghost him," said Stocking. "Can you help me?"
"Okay," said Garter. "Let's fight the ghost bitch."
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At Daten City Jamm, everyone was partying away until Garter arrived with his shotgun and fired into the air, scaring everybody.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your preacher Garterbelt," he announced. "Yo' white ass bitches better fuck off, cos we have some business to attend to. MOVE IT! MOVE IT!"
All the party goers run out of the building in a huff. There was just Stocking and Garter looking at the Ghost Barrington and Panty.
"I know you've kidnapped the real Barry Staggs, asshole!" said Stocking.
"You'll be pleased to know that he is in this very building," said the Ghost Barrington. "You can find him, but you'll have to get past my polygon friends; OH GUYS!"
The door opened and in walked polygon versions of Crash Bandicoot, Pikachu, Ren and Stimpy, the Powerpuff Girls, the Teletubbies, Ickis, Oblina and Krumm from "Aaahh! Real Monsters!", and Kenan and Kel.
"It's like that shitty Adam Sandler movie 'Pixels'," said Panty.
"Ugh! Don't get me started on Sandler!" groaned the Ghost Barrington.
The Polygons all surrounded Stocking and Garter.
"Garter, Panty and I will fight these guys," said Stocking. "You go and find Barry."
"Okay," said Garter as he walked out of the room.
Stocking looked at the polygon monsters staring at her. She had her katanas at the ready.
"Let's dance."
They made their way forward and Stocking sliced off the head off Ickis and also Krumm's arms. Oblina ran over to Stocking, but the goth just grabbed her like a walking stick. Stocking admired the black and white colours on Oblina's body.
"I like your colours, very goth."
Using Oblina's body, Stocking whacked the Powerpuff Girls like baseball bats.
"Don't know why, but we have a lot in common with the Powerpuff Girls," said Stocking.
Crash Bandicoot spun his way over to Stocking, she threw her katana into Crash splitting him in half.
The Powerpuff Girls flew over to Stocking. Blossom and Bubbles grabbed Stocking's arms and Buttercup was punching her in the face really hard. Stocking was trapped.
Panty couldn't bear to watch.
Stocking's face was beat up really bad, Buttercup was about to give her the mega punch, until…
BANG!
Panty shot her with her pistol.
The Ghost Barrington looked at her shocked.
"Panty?"
"Sorry, Baz," she said as she ran over to join her sister.
"So you finally believe me?" asked Stocking.
"It wasn't till you brought Garter in," answered Panty. "His look!"
"I know," said Stocking.
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Garter opened one of the doors in the back corridor. He had finally found the real Barrington tied and gagged. He walked over to Barrington and took his gag off. But Garter felt a little turned on by Barrington all tied up.
"What are you waiting for, untie me!" said Barrington.
Garter sighed and untied him.
Back at the club, Panty and Stocking were shooting and slicing the polygons.
The monsters were sliced and so were Ren and Stimpy.
"You EEEDIOT!" cried Ren as he, Stimpy and the monsters exploded.
Pikachu fired a lightning bolt at Panty, zapping her. Panty's hair was stuck up like the Bride of Frankenstien. Stocking laughed. Panty shot at Pikachu and Stocking slashed her Katana at him.
PIKACHUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" shouted the mouse as he exploded.
The Teletubbies made their way over to the sisters.
"Tubby hug!" they all said.
But Stocking just sliced them all in half.
"Ugh, they're so damn creepy!" cried Stocking.
"AGAIN! AGAIN!" said a sadistic Panty.
Stocking sliced the Teletubbies again and Panty shot the chunks of them, before they exploded they said...
"Tubby bye bye!"
Panty and Stocking then shot and sliced the Powerpuff Girls and they exploded, then they did the same to Crash.
Kenan and Kel made their over to the angels and acted suave.
"Man, I'll take Blondie, you take Morticia," said Kenan.
"Ohhhhhh, man, why her!" asked Kel.
"Cos, she's weird like you!" snapped Kenan as he hit Kel on the head.
They strutted up to our angels and acted cool.
"Hello, ladies," purred Kenan. "How about we stop all this fightin' and head to a motel room. Make love not war."
"Sounds cool, but you're not the real thing," said Panty.
Kenan and Kel looked annoyed.
"Is it because we're black?" asked Kel.
"No," said Stocking as she slashed Kenan and Kel across the waists.
"WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" cried Kenan.
Panty shot them and they exploded.
No more polygons. Ghost Barrington clapped his hands.
"Impressive performance," he said.
Just then Garter and the real Barrington arrived.
The real Barry couldn't believe it. He saw the ghost version of himself.
"What the fuck is going on?" he asked.
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So the Ghost Barrington told the real Barrington what the fuck was going on. Everything. The real Barrington was stunned.
"I kill myself?" he asked.
"Yeah," answered the Ghost Barrington. "So you come back as Ghost to your time. When you were king! Isn't that awesome?"
The real Barrington looked at him disgusted.
"No!"
The ghost Barrington was confused.
"You turned me into a monster!" cried the real Barry.
"Correction: Into a God!" said the ghost Barry.
"I don't want to kidnap or kill people!" cried the real one.
The ghost one was getting annoyed.
"Baz, I did this for you! For us! Thanks to this time device, we can travel back to the 90's over and over again! We'll be happy!"
"No we won't!" snapped the real Barrington. "I wanna see what happen in the 2000's and 2010's."
"But what about the world ending in 2000?" asked the ghost.
"That'll never happen!" said the real Barrington. "After meeting these girls and witnessing tonight."
The ghost Barrington was getting sad.
"But…. The 90's…. You'll miss them….."
"The 90's will be gone soon, but they will always be with me," said the real Barrington. "In my thoughts, in my heart and in…. What was that internet thing you girls talked about."
"YouTube," answered Panty and Stocking.
"You can listen to 90's songs and watch 90's shows on it," said Stocking.
"And watch 90's movies on DVDs," added Panty.
"I thought you hate DVDs," said Stocking.
"Well, love/hate them," said Panty. "Blu-rays are awesome, though. That HD."
"Also, in the 2010's, filmmakers are making movies about the 90's," Stocking told the real Barrington. "Like Captain Marvel and Jonah Hill's movie 'Mid-90's'."
"Who's Jonah Hill?" asked the real Barrington.
"You'll find out in 2007," said Stocking.
The Ghost Barrington sighed. He looked at the angels.
"Fine, kill me."
Panty and Stocking pointed their weapons at him.
"Any last words?" Panty asked him.
"Yeah," said the ghost Barrington. "Barry?"
"Yeah?" asked the real one.
"Don't kill yourself," said the ghost one.
"I won't," said the real one.
The ghost closed his eyes and….
BANG!
SLASH!
The ghost exploded and the angels got their coin. The church bell rang from outside. Garter was confused.
"You'll find out in 2010," Stocking told him.
She then looked at Panty.
"C'mon, bitch. Later, Garter! Later, Baz!"
The sisters walked away and Garter and Barrington waved at them.
"Goodbye, girls! See you in the future!"
Panty and Stocking went outside. They both held hands and Stocking pulled out the remote. She typed in "2,0,1,7" and hit ENTER.
There was a flash and the sisters were gone.
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In Daten City, 2017, there was a flash in the middle of the street and Panty and Stocking appeared.
They were glad to be back home in the present.
It was then, that they noticed a massive poster on a billboard:
"Barrington Staggs, 90's Rave King performing the 90's greats at Daten City Jamm".
The sisters decided to go check it out.
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That night, they arrived at Daten City Jamm and partied with everyone else to old skool classics:
"Two Can Play That Game" by Bobby Brown
"What is Love" by Haddaway
"Hey Boy Hey Girl" by the Chemical Brothers
"The Diva Dance" from The Fifth Element
"Almost Unreal" by Roxette
"Born Slippy" by Underworld
And much, much more.
As Barrington worked the music, he noticed Panty and Stocking in the audience. They noticed that he was slightly older, but was having one hell of a time being the king of rave. He smiled at the sisters and they smiled back. Later, he invited the girls for drinks and banter. They recalled the incident with the ghost and Barrington became close friends with the sisters from that day forth.
The angels tried to tell their time travelling story to Brief, but he kept asking questions about the Space Time Continuum and kept pointing out plot holes. So they just punched him in the face and told him to fuck off.
END
I've got the power! power-power-power-pow-po….