It was a nice day in Bluffington. Not a cloud was in the sky. We zoom in on the Funnie home, where we find young Douglas in his room talking to himself.
"Dear journal, yesterday scared the shit out of me. I never imagined that the Nickelodeon network could have violence, until now. It all started yesterday in Mrs. Wingo's class."
Mrs. Wingo: Okay class, today we are gonna talk about the mafia, and their impact on popular culture.
Doug (to Skeeter): Man, this is gonna be bad!
Skeeter: Yeah man!
Roger (loudly): Gee Mrs. Wingo, I feel that the mafia is an important subject!
Wingo: Yes, Mr. Klotz. It is very important.
Doug is walking home alone, when Roger sneaks up on him.
Roger: Hey Funnie! Over here!
Doug: Whaaa?
Roger: Shhhhh! I have to tell you something that I can't tell anyone else but you.
Doug: Me?
Roger: Yeah, Funnie.
Doug: Well, what's wrong?
Roger: I just saw my father murder somebody who owed him money.
Doug: Wow. Did you go to the cops?
Roger: Are you crazy? I can't do that! He trusts me!
End Scene I
Scene II:
Roger and Doug proceed back to the Funnie residence. They go to his empty living room to talk.
Doug (voiceover): "So it came to this, Roger actually likes me enough to confide in me. We went back to my empty house to talk more."
Doug: So, Rog, what are you gonna do?
Roger: I am gonna keep it a secret of course.
Doug: But you can't let him get off scot free.
Roger: Good point, Funnie.
Doug: How about we go to Bloatsburg
Doug's parents suddenly walk in.
Phil (Doug's dad): Did I hear Bloatsburg??
Doug: Yeah, dad, huh huh, me and Roger are going to a Beet's record signing there, right Rog? (bangs Roger in elbow)
Roger: Huh? I mean yeah!
Theda (Doug's mom): Why don't we drive you there?
Doug: No mom, it's not necessary.
Roger: Gee Mrs. Funnie, that's a great idea, isn't it Douglas?
Doug: I guess so. (rolls eyes)
Phil: Why don't you invite Skeeter?
Doug: I guess we can.
Fades to visual of Doug, Skeeter and Roger being driven to Bloatsburg by Phil and Theda.
Doug (voiceover): "So the plan was to say we were getting dropped off at Beetnik's record shop, but we were really gonna walk to Roger's dads house to get evidence of the murder."
Phil: So mister, do you have enough to buy the new Beet's album?
Doug: Of course, of course.
Theda: Have fun kids!
All kids: We will!
They get out of the car, and Doug's parents drive off.
Roger: Well, we are in Bloatsburg. Lets find my dad.
They arrive at Mr. Klotz's residence. They walk in, only to witness a FBI informant being shot in the head for giving them information.
Mr. Klotz: Fuck him!
Mr. Klotz spots Roger and company.
Roger: Dad?
Mr. Klotz: Son? Who are they?
Roger: They are my friends.
Mr. Klotz: Well, they just wrote out their own death certificates. (pulls out gun with silencer)
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Doug and Skeeter escape and run to the police, leaving just Roger and his dad.
Doug (voiceover): "Me and Skeeter managed to escape, running to the Bloatsburg police."
Skeeter: There's the station, man!
Doug: Thank god.
The boys enter station.
Doug: You gotta help us!
Skeeter: Yeah, this guy is trying to kill us.
Mr. Klotz runs in and attacks them when officers aren't watching.
Mr. Klotz: You little fucks, I am gonna kill ya!
Skeeter: Please don't
Mr. Klotz: Look what you made me do to my son. (points to Roger's dead body outside)
Mr. Klotz: Now I am gonna get you…
An officer appears to shoot Mr. Klotz in the back of his head.
Doug: Lets get out of here.
Skeeter: Yeah man!
END OF SERIES