Hey.
'Sup.
All right, so I went back and re-wrote this thing so hopefully it's not as stupid-teenager-can't-write-for-shit-ish as it was before. Since I am no longer a teen…it's at the very least stupid-adult-can't-write-for-shit-ish. So…that's a start.
Anyways.
Disclaimer: I am taking no credit/profit from this. Aside from the grammar and time I put into this, I do not own a thing. Not the characters, or the places. Just the stupid plot. Herp derp.
Plot: Nothing that hasn't already been done. I swear, I'm trying to keep Zelos from being too emo and dragging on his past, but that's still a focus here. Gonna switch it up in the next bit, though. I haven't played ToS in years so I had to look up the scenes for reference/accuracy to help create this story OTL lawl that's how bad I suck
Notice *because putting WARNING for something like guys falling in love is bullshit*: This is a yaoi fic. YAOI. GAY MEN. PENIS EVERYWHERE. Zelos/Lloyd to be specific. Meaning Zelos wants to bone Lloyd. Yeah. Clearly you're in for a great read, guys…
Hope you enjoy the rewrite anyway!
~
Would you dance, if I asked you to dance?
Would you run, and never look back?
Would you cry, if you saw me crying?
And would you save my soul
tonight?
~
-O-
Nothing was more peaceful than the soft thump of snow against a window.
It had been a very long time since Lloyd had the peace and quiet to take in every detail of the tiny flakes colliding into the frozen, slightly fogged glass. Never mind the patience that that also required, he had more time than he knew what to do with, so he figured he could at least complain all his worries into the air. Since he was alone, no one could get annoyed by or reprimand him. At least getting everything out in the open would make him feel a tad better.
Well, it did the job until a sudden draft from who knows where whipped against his entire body and made him shiver.
"Ah. I just love a good case of hypothermia."
Lloyd continued to stare out the window of the inn, scowling.
"I mean, who doesn't? Let's all just kip out in the arctic tundra and pretend that weather doesn't exist. We don't need our hands or feet, anyway." The brunet spoke to himself quietly and rubbed his gloved hands together just as his brows furrowed deeply. A lone snowflake twirled outside his window just before it hit the glass, and then Lloyd followed it with his eyes as it sailed down to the pane and dissolved. At least the snow seemed to be letting up.
That still didn't change the fact that the best doctor just had to be in the coldest place, however. He couldn't even escape the cold inside the bloody inn!
Lloyd raised his hand and clenched his fist. Had he have been stronger and smarter, none of this would have even happened. Altessa would never have been hurt. Neither would Tabatha have had to suffer. And Mithos…he was hurting, too—not taking into account that all of it was his own fault. Everything had gotten so complicated since then; especially his feelings on their journey.
Was it really so impossible to make everyone happy?
Lloyd was jolted out of his thoughts when a few soft knocks echoed from his closed door. He blinked and waited, fighting a large smile when the door creaked open slowly and a head of flowing red hair slowly popped through. The idiot Chosen looked way too out of place in the soft light of the tiny little bland room. Bevause he would never be caught staying in such a 'backwater little inn that wasn't fabulous enough' for him. Lloyd's house aside, Zelos complained at every inn they stayed at. No one ever listened to him, but he still did nonetheless.
'Oh, cruel fate.' Lloyd thought sardonically, though he did chuckle. All that talk of country bumpkins finally caught up to Zelos and bit him in the arse.
"Yo. I didn't wake you, did I?" The taller man spoke, his voice lowered to a whisper. Lloyd thought this was kind of funny, what with his room being at the other end of the inn and distanced from the others.
"Nah. I was just sitting here freezing to death, really. What's keeping you up, Zelos?" Lloyd sat up and stared at his friend, amicably patting the spot on the mattress next to him. That sight seemed to make Zelos' lips twitch into a small grin before he walked over to the bed and took a seat.
"Oh nothin', nothin'. Just wondering if you wanted to go for a little walk?" Zelos asked casually, sporting a grin. Lloyd sent him a blank look before he glanced out the window. The light flurry he'd been watching earlier had definitely grown in quantity, an army of crystallized flakes now attacking his window.
"Never mind. I was actually just about to go to sleep," he tried, looking back to the redhead as he faked a yawn. Zelos snorted.
"Aw. Come on, bud. Don't be so cold," Zelos said and nudged Lloyd as he let out a soft laugh. "It's perfect out! Besides…I actually wanted to talk to you." Lloyd turned to look at his friend at this, catching his light blue eyes dead-on. Whoa. Zelos was actually really serious about something. Lloyd almost wanted to take a photo of that staid expression simply because it was so out of place there, on Zelos' face.
"Oh. Well, it's not like I was doing anything else…"
"Great!" Now Zelos' shit-eating grin was back as if he hadn't just been staring at Lloyd with a strange amount of intensity. And what intensity it had been… Those eyes were clearer and so, so much more beautiful that he'd ever seen them—
'No. I promised myself I would stop this… This false hope is getting out of hand. Not to mention pathetic.' Lloyd sighed. He got up and followed his friend out of the inn, somewhat confused when the other swordsman led him directly to a large balcony just outside the church that overlooked the entire city of Flanoir. Rather planned for a leisurely nighttime stroll, but Lloyd was too bothered by the chilly wind to really care.
"I have to say…despite the bitter and mind-numbing cold, it's beautiful out here." Lloyd spoke honestly, hopping up onto the large stone of the balcony. Zelos twitched as he watched him, looking mildly annoyed and panicked for a brief moment before putting on a smile.
"It is. But that won't matter soon because you're gonna fall, stupid." Zelos said before grabbing Lloyd's arm just as he almost fell off. The red-clad swordsmen let out a breath of relief and sent his friend a grateful look. Zelos could only laugh and shake his head at the brunet's goofy smile.
"Life saver." Lloyd chuckled before simply leaning his arms on top of the balcony this time. "Oh, yeah. You said you had something you wanted to talk about?" He finally asked after a beat, playing with the snow on the rail.
Zelos was quiet for a long moment. Lloyd started to wonder if he even had a question or if he just didn't feel like going out alone. Either way, Lloyd didn't care. Just being here was nice. Perfect. Minus sub-zero temperatures, he loved spending time with his friend like this. It was rare when it was just the two of them silently sharing what precious little free time they had.
"Zelos—?"
"This city...just brings back memories." Lloyd looked sideways up at his friend, now leaning next to him, and saw him smile. Something about the expression was off—like he was everything but happy—and that alone made Lloyd worried. He frowned, but decided to let Zelos continued when he saw the other's mouth open.
"It was a long time ago. Once upon a time where everything was normal and everyone was happy—well they pretended to be, at least." He leaned further over the balcony and scanned over the city blanketed with snow, azure eyes flitting back and forth in a way that made Lloyd unable to look away.
"And then…"
Lloyd noticed the look of hurt on the redhead's face and he bit his lip, deciding to touch the other male's arm. His grip was soft at first, then firm and reassuring. Zelos smiled at this and Lloyd tried to urge him forward, trying to ignore the way his heart jumped against his ribcage.
"And then…? What happened?"
Zelos sighed and looked at his friend. "And then everything went to hell. It all started with the snow. My mother and I had been building a snowman in our garden and then the next thing I knew…everything went red. Even the snow was tainted red."
"What do you mean?" Lloyd asked quietly, a dark sense of dread washing over him when he had a feeling he already knew what Zelos meant.
"It was blood; my mother's blood. Before I even knew what happened, she had been killed. It was an assassination."
Lloyd's eyes widened at this and he fell silent as he wished he hadn't been expecting that response. He turned his gaze away from his friend and out towards the town, brows creasing. Zelos laughed, but it was so devoid of any emotion that Lloyd wanted to reach out and touch him again, maybe damn everything to hell and just hug the poor, stupid bastard. It wasn't like he didn't deserve one.
"Well. Attempted assassination," Zelos murmured.
"Attempted?"
"She wasn't the original target… I was, but she was caught in the crossfire. You remember my sister? It was her mother. Seles' mother somehow managed to get in and after that, it was over in a flash. It's funny how all my memories of my childhood are grainy and blurry, but something as irrelevant as my mother's last words still manage to get under my skin." Zelos paused, looking pensive as if he wasn't sure he should continue. But Lloyd just nodded and touched his arm again, another silent push.
"As she died she grabbed me and said, "You should never have been born." Hilarious, right?" Zelos looked up at the sky and grinned. They were silent for a long moment, but the quiet was broken by the loud thud of Lloyd's fist pounding the rail they leaned on.
"You…"
"Zelos, how can you say that?!"
Zelos shook his head and laughed again. Lloyd wanted to slap him for that. The mask was up again and Zelos was acting like a puppet that had nothing—knew nothing—of value but the strings that kept it moving onward. He knew. Hefucking knew that the dumbass Chosen felt more than anyone he'd ever met. He had been through so much all alone. Lloyd may have finally figured out how deep his trauma went and how it explained everything, but he was still at a loss of what to say.
"Don't worry about it. She may have been right. I mean, sometimes I think everyone would have been better off with me having never existed. Let someone else be the all-important Chosen. No big..." The Chosen folded his arms over the rail, and he smiled and looked somewhat relieved that he'd at least gotten that off his chest. Lloyd was glad for that, but the conversation was just too much of a shock to let go so quickly. Zelos didn't want to live? The thought tore him apart, and he took a step closer to the redhead and tried to calm down.
He was sure his wide-eyed expression would have put Zelos off, so he looked towards the ground.
"No big? How could… Why would you ever say that? Don't talk about dying so easily! I believe everyone has the right to live once they are born. Once you're here, it can't be undone. Think about all the people whose lives would be lonely and dull without you. Think of everyone that would miss you!" The brunet said looking at his friend, trying to comprehend his desire to constantly put himself down.
"Lloyd, it's okay. I'm not saying I still feel that way. I do want to live… Also, you should know by now that everyone I meet knows they have to impress me. Comes with the title of Chosen, ya know? Just sayin' all those floozies don't mean a thing to me, since I know they're just looking to strike it rich. I don't have anyone that'll really miss me that much. Thanks for trying, though."
Zelos snickered and pointedly kept his gaze away from his friend. All the while, Lloyd still wanted to hit him. Like really, really hard, too.
"Then does that mean you think we don't care for you enough? Do we not matter to you, either?" The brunet finally asked what was eating at him, his stare boring into the Chosen's until he fully turned towards him. He could tell Zelos wanted to look elsewhere, but he congratulated him for keeping their gaze locked.
Then Zelos frowned.
"Wha— Of course I care about you. It's because I care that I'm still here. And that I've never told anyone about this but you." The redheaded Chosen tilted his head upwards and shook it and his hand clenched into a fist from its place on the snowy balcony. He then removed it tiredly to rub at his face.
"I care about you all more than I imagined I could."
Zelos was an idiot. More so that he thought that he had to be alone in most of the things he did. He even had the nerve to look annoyed when Lloyd laughed.
"I know. Just a little worried about you after all that. I wouldn't let you disappear even if you wanted to. I can't have you forgetting just how much you need us, you hopeless Chosen." Lloyd smiled, doing that goofy thing with his eyes where they were bight and scrunched up in a way Zelos couldn't help but find endearing. No one could pull off happy like Lloyd Irving could.
"You little shit. Who needs who? I think you've got that part backwards," Zelos laughed, pushing Lloyd's shoulder. The brunet chuckled, all the while noticing that Zelos left his hand on his forearm. He hadn't pulled away? Why? What was with that look?
"Really, though, Zelos. Why did you decide to tell only me?" Lloyd emphasized his curiosity through a lilt in his voice. Overjoyed that his friend could open up to him, it still bothered him that Zelos looked like he still had things he wanted to share.
Zelos laughed and finally removed his hand to wave it idly.
"Hey, sometimes it's just nice to get things out of your system. And I can talk to you seriously, Lloyd. Even if you are a dweeb, you're my best bud. I'd trust you with my life." Zelos confessed, looking so sincere that Lloyd had to look away. The brunet was admittedly a tad bit flustered at that. A teensy bit...
No one had ever actually admitted that they trusted him so entirely. It was always implied, but…hearing it felt nice.
"Oh."
Zelos choked and then shook his head at the response, though he didn't look surprised at all. He grinned as he poked his friend in the cheek. Once, and then a few more times when Lloyd sent him a withering look.
"Is that all you have to say? No corny, long-winded speech on how much you need me and you'd be lost without me; your best friend and savior?" He questioned, smirking that damn smirk that made Lloyd's chest ignite and volts of electricity run up his spine. But he did nothing but nod, smiling.
"I'm pretty sure I've already recited all the Dwarven Vows. Therefore, you should already know the answer to that by now." Lloyd shot back, unable to keep another probably stupid smile off of his face. That was the annoying thing about Zelos; no matter how hard he tried, Lloyd could not keep his facial expressions under control around him.
"But in all honestly, I do trust you, too. More than anyone," Lloyd spoke and made sure Zelos knew he was serious. He gave him a shy smile and scratched the back of his head, missing the look that crossed his friend's face.
"I-I think I'm gonna cry." Zelos whimpered, a look of mock-anguish on his face as he rubbed a finger under his eye and flicked away a fake tear.
"Yeah, yeah. Don't make fun of me when I'm serious. After all, you went through the trouble to bring me all the way out here to tell me your life's story—which I know could not have been easy—actually, now that I think about it, why did we have to actually go outside for this? My room's…on the other side of the building. Where we would barely be heard. Where it's warm." Lloyd paused, turning to look up at his friend in suspicion. If he caught some miserable cold because of this, Zelos was going to get a swiftly thrown punch to the everywhere. Snowballs would be thrown, too.
Zelos smirked at his friend, watching the gears work in his little head.
"Oh, no reason. All right, maybe it was a little test. Just as I thought, you look ridiculous covered in snow! Adorable!" He laughed easily and tapped Lloyd's reddening nose before stuffing his hands into his pockets.
"Fu—Wha? H-Hey, shut up! I do not look anything remotely similar to adorable!" Lloyd stuttered, trying to settle on being angry but his embarrassment was winning that battle. He huffed, throwing himself up to sit on the railing, ignoring Zelos' loud laughter.
"…You're blushing, Bud."
"Just bugger off, stupid jackass!" Lloyd coughed, hiding his face in his high collar. He tried to adjust himself, but the snow still covering the entire fencing made it very difficult to do so without sliding almost completely off. And it was a pretty big rail, too.
"Hey, whoa. Calm down before you fall to your death, buddy! One close call is quite enough!" Zelos thrust his arms around Lloyd's waist, once again catching him before he fell off the large balcony. Zelos miscalculated his own strength over Lloyd's weight and pulled him backwards a little too roughly, making Lloyd's arms and legs flail as he spun around and fell onto his friend. Zelos caught him and started to laugh when Lloyd wrapped his arms tightly around his neck to prevent him from falling.
"Shit!" Lloyd squawked before he righted himself and shook his head, and stilled at the close proximity that he was now in with Zelos. He was staring at the other's chest, his hands still resting on Zelos' biceps from when he's struggled to stand upright. But with one upwards glance, it seemed like the older male didn't mind it too much. Though once he'd been caught staring, Lloyd looked right back into the Chosen's black v-neck.
"S-Sorry. Thanks for savin' me again, man." Zelos nodded and took a moment to look over the brunet's visage. Thin, slender yet muscled in a way that made his form all the more appealing. He was every bit a swordsman. His eyes rolled from his friend's crazy cinnamon-coloured hair to his defined facial features and kind, soulful russet eyes. He was smiling and probably didn't realize that his face was flushed, so Zelos took advantage of that and wiped a thumb across his friend's snow-covered eyelash.
"No problem, bumpkin." He grinned, but then when Lloyd laughed and gradually grew to look more comfortable with each second he spent in his friend's arms, Zelos frowned. Lloyd noticed this and tilted his head a bit to get a better look into his friend's eyes.
"Zelos? Hey… Is everything okay?" It looked as if Zelos almost gave into the concerned look on the brunet's face, but he just released him and shoved his hands into his pockets once again. Then that damn hollow smile was back.
"Yep. Everything's fine, bud." Lloyd looked at Zelos skeptically as he started walking again. Oh, hell no. He wasn't going to play this game again; especially not when he'd just practically spilled out his soul. Lloyd was having none of this I'm-putting-up-a-mental-barrier thing Zelos so loved doing, not again.
"Zelos—"
Lloyd bounded over towards his retreating friend, but his foot twisted in a cracked gap in the pavement that was hidden beneath the snow. As he was thrown off balance, Lloyd let out a small gasp as he fell forward. Zelos caught the motion out of the corner of his eye—which seemed like it was happening at half-speed—and he spun around quickly to catch his friend in his arms.
"Christ, Lloyd! Are you okay? What happened, man? I think Colette's clumsiness is finally rubbing off on you." Zelos smiled, and Lloyd looked up at him gratefully. Zelos had to look away again, and Lloyd was suddenly back to being annoyed.
"I'm fine. Thanks. I-It's all this damn snow!" The red-clad swordsman mumbled, but once again didn't disentangle himself from his friend. Zelos sighed and removed his arms.
"You're making this so very hard, Lloyd..." Zelos began walking away again and Lloyd balled his hands into fists, actually getting rather ticked off at his friend's sudden closed off behavior. This cold, distant husk wasn't his best friend!
"I don't understand? Making what hard?! Come on, please, don't start this again. You know you can talk to me, Zelos! About anything." At Lloyd's words, the Chosen stopped in his tracks and the brunet hoped that he'd finally gotten through to his stubborn friend. He watched the tense line in the taller male's shoulders fade as he sagged. Without warning, Zelos let out a noise of frustration as he looked upwards. Lloyd wished he could see his friend's face, so he could try to figure out how to help him. He was just as lost…
"…Lloyd."
"Yeah?"
Zelos finally turned around, and Lloyd saw the crease in his brows and the slight downward tilt of his thin lips. But what gave away everything were those eyes… He was still clearly upset about something.
"There are things that I'm doi—that I've done...that I regret. I've tried hard not to get attached to any of you. You... Especially you, damn it. But it seems that… That I…" Zelos closed his eyes and frowned. He pinched the bridge of his nose and when he opened his eyes, Lloyd was sure that he'd never seen anyone look so damn heartbroken.
"You what? Zel?" Zelos shook his head and walked to the balcony once more. He ran his gloved hand over it and smiled as he drew a small pattern in the cold snow.
"Nah. Forget I said anything." Lloyd moved to stand beside him. "It's better like that, trust me."
"Hey. Come on, you can tell me. If you don't, I really will start reciting Dwarven Vows. All of them. All one-hundred and forty-three of them. I'll do it, Zelos. It will take ages and you'll want to jump off this balcony." Zelos drew a heavy breath and turned towards Lloyd. He almost laughed at the other's stubborn, puffed-cheek look but he held it in. That's all he seemed to be doing lately; holding everything in. Maybe… Maybe it was time to let it all out in the open. If Lloyd and his friends could be honest, then he could spare this one moment and do the same.
"You can talk to me. You can." Lloyd smiled encouragingly. Something in Zelos' eyes flashed and Lloyd watched him struggle for a moment. Throwing caution to the wind, Lloyd grabbed his friend's hand and held it tightly. He snickered a bit at the look of surprise on the taller's face, but when Zelos suddenly smiled and wove their fingers together, Lloyd felt strangely calm. (If a little flustered.)
It took him a moment to register that Zelos' hand was on his face. It was shaking…but it was so warm. Lloyd noted this curiously and looked up into his friend's eyes.
"Lloyd. I…" Zelos snapped his eyes shut in what looked like pain before he opened them to stare into his friend's dark pair. Lloyd felt his heart stop at the look of utter affection he was receiving, but he didn't dare let his hopes up. At least, not until Zelos raised his other hand and held Lloyd's face close to his.
Their bodies were touching now and Lloyd could swear that his heart was beating a mile a minute.
'What is he—'
"I love you."
Zelos waited for a few seconds and when all Lloyd did was stare, he slowly moved his head forward and gently pressed his lips against the brunet's. Lloyd could swear in that moment that he forgot how to breathe. He couldn't even describe what air was—and definitely not the feelings that coursed through his entire body. He wasn't sure if this was actually happening. Maybe Zelos had actually let him fall to his death back there and this was some sort of after-life dream?
After a few moments Zelos pulled pack and looked at the snow-covered ground, and Lloyd could tell that he was trying to cover up his sadness.
"Just… You know… I think I could have avoided this if you'd have just been a good boy and disliked me." Zelos backed away slowly.
"Y-You, I-I—"
"Man. The most painful thing about this is that you're in love with the other Chosen. Ironic, if nothing. The first time I've ever fallen in love and my affections aren't returned. Guess I deserve it, though, given my actions up until now. God, I'd take it all back for you, though." He let out a breath, laughing softly. Even after a few minutes of silence, Lloyd's face still hadn't cooled down. Nor did his heart stop beating wildly out of control.
"Zelos, you—"
"Look, you don't have to say anything. You can forget this whole thing happened. I'm not going to force you or bother you with this." Zelos tried to smile as he touched his lips, but it looked like it was hurting him more than anything. He pulled away and started to walk back towards the inn. Just watching him leave made Lloyd feel like nothing would ever be the same if he let him walk away.
"Wait!" Lloyd rushed over to Zelos and threw his arms around the taller male's waist from behind. "You can just say all that and then try to leave right after you confess. Are you really going to…? Do you really want to forget this happened?"
Zelos smiled brokenly at this.
"I'm selfish. I can't bare the fact that you don't love me. But what can I do, exactly? I want you to be happy even if that means I can't be with you… Heh, I can't believe I could be like this over someone. So sappy. Not like me at all! I blame you."
Lloyd pulled away and inhaled shakily, upset by his friend's words. He wasn't sure what he had been expecting when Zelos stepped into his room earlier, but it sure as hell wasn't this. Not a story of the Chosen's past and definitely not a love confession.
"What are you talking about? And why bring Colette into this? If you love me, then—"
"Come on, Lloyd. You'd have to be an idiot to not see how you two feel about each other. You'll be a hell of a lot happier with Colette—she's not a selfish tr—girl. Anyway, these one-sided feelings I have will surely go away at some point." Zelos but on a grin even though he knew that he was lying through his teeth.
Lying. Always lying…
"Zelos," the named male raised a thin brow at the laughing way in which his name had been spoken. He didn't quite catch the look on his friend's face up to the point where Lloyd had wrapped his arms around Zelos' waist again, but this time burying his face against the taller's chest.
"You…know you don't have to force yourself just to make me happy. I really fucking hate pity, Lloyd."
Lloyd once again laughed into Zelos' chest at this and the taller looked a little pissed when the brunet finally looked up at him.
"Who said they were one-sided, jackass?" Lloyd suddenly pushed up onto his tiptoes and placed a timid kiss to the redhead's lips. He tried his best to keep the contact, but his toes were cramping and Zelos wasn't responding as much as he was standing ramrod still. He pulled back a centimeter, lips almost touching, and tried to catch his breath.
And that was the first time he'd seen Zelos' eyes grow that wide.
Oh, how Lloyd wished he could capture that look forever. That look consisting of nothing but pure vulnerability.
"I happen to feel the same. You'd have realized that if you weren't being a brooding, clueless dork." Zelos blinked and for a moment, he wondered if this was some elaborate ploy to keep him around and deceive him. But then he realized that it was Lloyd.
Lloyd cared for him. Lloyd was holding him. Lloyd had kissed him back. That brought a smile slowly across his face and he laughed brightly, slightly hysteric. He then picked Lloyd up and him around once before he sat him on the rail, squeezing him tightly.
"You don't know how happy you've just made me, bud. You seriously don't. I wasn't sure I would be able to stay and watch you go off with Colette. I'm not that strong or selfless." Zelos brows rose in an apology, but Lloyd shook his head and brought his hand up to toy with a long strand of the redhead's bangs. Zelos almost purred when the brunet's other hand shyly slid into his hair at the nape of his neck.
"Well, I mean, I don't think I'd be able to watch you leave either." Lloyd sighed happily and completely missed the spasm of hurt that flickered over Zelos' face. But in an instant it was gone and he grabbed Lloyd by the waist, bringing him closer.
"I love you," he murmured as he cupped the brunet's cheek and kissed him passionately, licking and biting Lloyd's lip a moment before he pulled away again. He would never get tired of that feeling.
"You taste good," the redhead decided to voice his delight, making the brunet turn a bright red colour.
"Shut up, Zelos."
"You got it."
Zelos smiled and lowered his lips to his love's once more, softly moving his fingers over the brunet's sides and then his abdomen. Lloyd shivered and let out a quiet moan, which sent Zelos' mind spinning. At another particularly sexy noise thereafter, Zelos slowly ran his tongue along Lloyd's lower lip, and then his upper lip until the brunet pulled him closer still.
Lloyd loved the feeling of Zelos against him. The feeling of Zelos' tongue sliding over his. The feeling of Zelos' hands rubbing at his back and sides. The feeling of Zelos' body. His heart beating against him. Everything. He loved it all.
But most of all, he loved what was underneath it all—his beautiful, fighting spirit. His 'soul,' if you will.
"Lloyd," the taller moaned and the brunet in his arms trembled at the way his name was spoken. He clung to his Chosen and tried to get even closer—as close as they could possibly be. Lloyd wasn't sure if that was even possible, but he would make it happen. He just couldn't get enough of the other's heat.
Zelos unexpectedly backed away from the railing, bringing Lloyd with him. At some point, Lloyd had wrapped his legs around Zelos' body, so the move was a lot easier with the brunet already clinging to him for dear life. Lloyd was hoisted up slightly, moving his hand through Zelos' silken crimson locks. And without even thinking, he wrapped his legs tighter around his love, which made his groin rub against Zelos'. The moan that tumbled from the taller male's lips almost drove Lloyd over the edge.
"Z-Zelos," Lloyd groaned after pulling back from a particularly wet kiss, his lips moist and eyes lidded. Zelos bit his lip at the sight.
"Damn it, Lloyd… Teasing isn't fair."
Zelos took in a heavy breath and rolled his hips up against Lloyd's and watched him carefully. The brunet flung his head back and moaned before he buried it into Zelos' hair.
"I've wanted you so badly. You have no idea," the redhead spoke breathlessly into Lloyd's ear. The twin-swordsman was sure that he never wanted to let go of this man. Never again would he let him out of his sight. Until then, Lloyd hadn't been able to stop his heart's ridiculously fast pace, but it just added to his bliss. As did the sound of Zelos' deep and soothing voice.
"S-Same. I'd watch you, you know? I thought it was weird how I felt more attracted to you than Colette or Sheena. I was terrified, but then I realized that I was in love with you and there was nothing I could do about it," Lloyd admitted and hugged Zelos tighter, kissing a spot behind his ear. He smirked at the hissed groan he received.
"I… You don't know how many girls I've chased after to try and drown away the feelings I have for you. I felt like scum… I hated myself for trying to forget about you, but I was scared, too." Zelos sighed, resting his forehead against Lloyd's.
"You slept around with random women to try and forget me?" Lloyd asked, trying not to feel hurt seven though he knew Zelos' character. Or at least, he had thought so before. Now, he knew the Chosen was capable of catching him off guard.
"To be completely honest, no. I've never technically slept with them. I've tried, but I could never get that far because I could only think of you and what mistakes I would have been making." He kissed a slow trail up Lloyd neck and around to his cheek before he set the brunet on his feet.
"M…Me? Y-You can't be serious. That's just—" Lloyd stuttered nervously and started playing with his hands as he avoided the older swordsman's amused stare. Zelos finally laughed and gave him a sweet kiss and then ran a hand through his hair after.
"Of course I meant you. Do you really think I had that much time and patience to where I could do more than kiss those stupid 'hunnies'? As if. But even so, I had all but given up on believing I could be with you like this. I didn't think it was possible." Zelos smiled and sat Lloyd back on the rail and kissed him once more.
"Zelos," Lloyd whispered the Chosen's name softly and let his eyes flutter halfway shut so that he could smile and rest his forehead on the Chosen's.
"I love you," Lloyd finally confessed, trying his best not to stammer. It was a lot less embarrassing mentally telling himself that he was in love rather than putting his feelings into words. Besides, the look Zelos was giving him didn't make the red on his face fade at all.
Zelos chuckled however, because he definitely heard the nervous way his friend had spoken. It was almost too adorable for words, so he pressed his nose into the sensitive vein on Lloyd's neck, nuzzling him instead.
"If I had my way, I'd make love to you right here and now on this balcony. I won't though," he added with one glance at the weather and also at Lloyd's horrified gaze. "I'll only do that when you're ready and the time's right. And when we're not covered in snow."
"R-Right."
Lloyd was as red as a cherry after he finished. Lloyd had never heard those words spoken so passionately and sincerely—leaving out the bit with the snow. Actually he'd never heard those words spoken to him at all, so this was new and more than a little bit exciting. Zelos wasn't as much of a pervert when he was actually in love with someone. He really was starting to think he had Zelos figured out all wrong.
"Don't worry; I won't do anything to you. Yet." Zelos grinned. And then he slapped his brunet on the rear.
Screw that. The guy was still a horny bastard.
"Jerk…" Lloyd muttered with that ridiculous blush still on his face. Zelos did nothing other than laugh when Lloyd hit him in the arm. He was more than content to stare at the astounding brunet, but the redness on his nose and cheeks were more than just the result of his embarrassment. He further confirmed this when Lloyd sneezed and groaned.
"Oh no, hunny. We'd better get back before you catch your death out here in this friggin' weather. We've been gone for a long time." He said, tapping Lloyd's nose before he grabbed his hands.
"Shall we?" He lifted up Lloyd's hand and pressed a light kiss over his knuckles, looking up at him through long lashes.
"Are we going to share a room?" Lloyd asked quietly after a moment, not meeting the other's eyes for fear his anxiousness would be noticed. Zelos began to pull Lloyd towards the inn after giving him a laugh.
"Whatever you want, love." Zelos tried not to smirk, as he had already planned on sharing anyway. Oh, this night had gone so perfectly he didn't even care if Lloyd wanted to wait years before getting more intimate. Lloyd on the other hand, was more anxious for what he was going to have to tell everyone about his and Zelos' newfound relationship.
"I wonder how the others are going to react." Lloyd said squeezing Zelos' hand, but when he looked back, the brunet didn't look as worried as he probably felt. The older sensed his love's apprehension and intertwined their fingers, turning to press a kiss to the top of Lloyd's head.
"It might take some time for them to get used to it, but I know they'll be there no matter what. You're fine with this, right?" Zelos looked down at their entwined hands purposefully. Lloyd wouldn't abandon him because he was ashamed of his friends finding out. They'd been through so much that he wouldn't possibly turn back now.
Would he?
No. No way.
"Of course I am! But…what if they aren't?" Lloyd was worried about rejection. As for Zelos, well, he said that he's been rejected before and he wasn't leaving him anytime soon… Even with that knowledge, Lloyd wasn't sure how the tall Chosen would react to being abandoned by friends.
"That's just going to have to be their problem, bud. They can't tell us how to live or who to love. I don't want it to come to that, and I'm not going to run if that is the case. Just so I don't drive myself crazy with this… Would you ever leave me if they opposed this? If anyone did—and they will—oppose us, really?" Lloyd thought for a moment, picking his words carefully.
"Zelos, look at me. I won't abandon you. I know they won't be upset, I do. After everything we've been through, something as wonderful as this won't turn them away." Lloyd touched his boyfriend's face and gave him a small grin. Looking at that expression and listening to those words, Zelos closed his eyes at the feeling of relief that immediately washed over him. He trusted Lloyd completely, and he showed that with just one look.
"You have such a way with words, my little bumpkin. But I believe you, as crazy as it sounds." Zelos ruffled Lloyd's hair before putting an arm around him as they walked. Lloyd laughed, but grew silent as they stumbled along through the snow. It was really coming down, so he couldn't see too far ahead of them. He'd go into a blind rage if this weather got them lost. Or made either of them sick…
The thought of illness abruptly brought his Dwarven friend back into his mind and he bit his lip.
"I wonder how Altessa is doing." Lloyd said once they finally made it back to the inn. The lights were dimmed, and even the innkeeper seemed to have gone to sleep. Both silently made their way to Lloyd's room and kicked off their wet clothes, freezing in the night air. Lloyd was cuddling up in the bed within seconds and Zelos smirked as he took off his shoes.
"About Altessa… We'll just have to wait and see. Sheena said this doctor guy was the best right? No worries; she's got more going for her than that perfectly curved body. She's actually pretty intelligent," Zelos snickered lowly and shook his head to get rid of the clumps of ice that were still sporadically woven through his hair. He seemed to be oblivious of the glare Lloyd sent his way. At least until Lloyd made a noise of displeasure.
"What?" The Chosen asked innocently. Lloyd wasn't sure if he should be forward with this or not, but once he thought about it, there was no way in hell he would be fine with Zelos hitting on everything and everyone under the sun. This was a serious step for their relationship, damn it!
"You know that little thing you do with women? The flirting thing? Yeah, you're going to have to not do that anymore." He said while folding his arms. He tried not to pout or seem too controlling, but it had always been something that had bothered him even when he hadn't been in love with the idiot.
"Jealous much?" Zelos teased as he climbed on the bed and pulled Lloyd into his lap, sitting him against his chest. He removed his gloves so that he could feel the other's skin beneath his hands, and he smiled as he pulled the heavy covers up over them.
"N-No… I just don't think it's appropriate when you're in a relationship. Or something."
Zelos hid a snort into Lloyd's shoulder as he hugged him closer—and god, did he love body heat.
"You worry too much, Lloyd. I never meant for any of those stupid pet names to be anything serious. It's just how I address a lot of women. It's hard to stop though, since I've been doing that for so long. But if I slip back into the habit, just remember that I love you and only you and that you can punch me if I do it again. That's also why you don't need one of those meaningless nicknames. What I feel for you is real." Zelos' voice was low and sincere, and Lloyd figured that he could deal with that. Zelos was an attractive guy, so it was only natural that he had lots of admirers. Doubly so, with the addition of being the Chosen.
'The fact that he'd fallen in love with a hick like me is more than enough,' Lloyd thought with a grin. That was a wonder, given their different backgrounds—worlds, even.
"You got all that?" Zelos asked, tickling Lloyd's sides lightly until the brunet couldn't hold back his laughter.
"I know, you big dork!" Lloyd teased as he leaned his head back until Zelos brought him into a kiss.
"But really… You liked it when I called you hunny earlier, didn't you?" Zelos inquired tauntingly, biting the shell of the brunet's ear and then licking it slowly.
"Ah, n…no! I'm not a damn woman." Lloyd gritted out through clenched teeth as he touched Zelos' hands around his midsection. He brought a finger up to bite down on when Zelos kissed the shell of his ear again and slid a hand up his chest, torturously slow.
"I'm well aware of that. I just like seeing you blush like one." His comment earned him a bat upside the head. He laughed and pecked his love on the cheek quickly before releasing him and moving to the other empty bed. He looked lonely, but the look he sent Lloyd made him curious.
"What are you doing?" Lloyd finally asked as he untangled himself from the sheets.
"Well, I don't think you want to be molested in your sleep. Besides that, I'm not sure how everyone would react to me sleeping and cuddling with you."
Lloyd bit back a laugh. "Yeah, but we're going to tell them eventually. I don't mind, but you're right. We'll tell them when the time is right." Lloyd snuggled down into his bed watching Zelos do the same.
"Goodnight, Lloyd. Love ya."
Lloyd hid his flushed face under the covers. "Love you, too. Idiot Chosen…" He muttered before quickly falling into a deep sleep.
Unfortunately for Zelos, sleep didn't come to him as easily as his partner. The only thing that he could think of was his upcoming betrayal—and any way to avoid it. If he couldn't, he wanted to at least try not to hurt Lloyd. That was the very last thing he wanted... Lloyd hating him.
"Lloyd… This would be so much easier if you hated me." Zelos smiled sadly.
Of all the people to fall in love with…he had to pick the most crazy, difficult, and astounding of them all. He was also the most honest, which only made Zelos hate himself more. With a sigh, Zelos kicked off the covers and rose to his feet. He stood hovering over Lloyd a moment before he bent to kiss him on the lips, lingering a moment.
"I love you."
'Don't hate me…'
The rest of the night was going to be very long…
And very, very sleepless.
-O-
'Stupid light…'
Even from a billion miles away, the sun still managed to slip through the itty-bitty crack in the blinds and hit him directly in the eyes.
'Spot on, Sol. Spot on.'
Lloyd groaned at the thought of having to wake up, but he knew that he had a long day ahead of him. Much like all the others, they had a quest to continue and a sickness to cure.
He turned to look at his partner but only found an empty bed.
"Zelos?"
Lloyd got up out of the bed and exited the Inn. He found everyone outside talking quietly. Zelos immediately looked at Lloyd and smiled.
"Yo, bud!" Zelos walked over and slung his arm around his friend.
"Morning. Hey, guys. How's Altessa doing?" Lloyd tried not to act too differently than he normally did when Zelos draped around him.
"He seems to be in decent condition. The doctors and some villagers from Mizuho are looking after him." Presea offered quietly as she sidestepped around Genis in order to face Lloyd.
"He should make a full recovery," Raine spoke as she also moved towards Lloyd. "This doesn't change the fact that we still have to go to the Tower of Salvation."
Lloyd felt Zelos tense at this and pull away. He looked at his love oddly but received and dismissing wave.
"Yeah. The sooner the better, if you ask me."
All seemed to be in agreement with the red-haired Chosen. They took towards the town's exit, in their usual pairs. Genis spoke shyly to Presea as they brought up the rear. Regal and Sheena had been silently watching Lloyd and Zelos up ahead, but soon looked at each other wordlessly as they followed their two younger comrades, while Colette trailed behind Lloyd. Raine remained somewhere in the middle with her nose buried in her spell book.
"Lloyd, is something wrong? You seem kind of upset," Colette asked as she scooted towards Lloyd with a small, curious frown. Zelos watched her out of the corner of his eyes, gaze fixed on the way her hand had taken to Lloyd's arm. He tried not to think about it too much. After all, he didn't need to worry about Colette taking Lloyd anymore, as terrible as that made him feel for the poor girl.
"What? No, I'm completely fine! I just want to get to Cruxis as fast as possible to stop Mithos and fix everything," Lloyd explained and gave her a quick grin and ruffled her hair slightly.
Colette nodded at this and smiled. "Thank you, Lloyd. Really, you always seem to cheer me up when I should be helping you. Sorry…" She hugged him quickly and headed for the exit as well, not giving him time to tell her once again to stop apologizing for every little thing.
Lloyd looked back to Zelos, catching sight of the distant and apprehensive look on his face. There was something definitely going on in that strange head of his, and Lloyd wanted to figure out just what it was. Zelos was still a fucking enigma, but he supposed that was just part of what drew him to the redhead.
"Hey, Zelos," he stopped when the redhead sighed and waved a hand dismissively.
"Don't worry about it," the Chosen muttered as he walked ahead of his friend, not looking back even after Lloyd made an annoyed noise.
"Are you mad at me or something?" Lloyd asked a few moments after he caught up. Zelos didn't say anything for a long moment, and Lloyd started getting anxious up until the point where Zelos finally released a small laugh.
"No buddy, I'm not mad at all. I just… I've got a lot on my mind and I really just want to get this over with."
Lloyd smiled a bit uneasily, but that was enough for now. He didn't need to be tense and preoccupied with anything when he had a lot of other things to focus on.
"All right, Zelos. I trust you." He said smiling warmly. They both stood at the entrance of the town, watching the other's walk ahead. Zelos looked sad for a moment before he spoke.
"Whoa, what's this now? I know you're counting on me. Just have a little faith!" Zelos grinned, closing his eyes and ruffling Lloyd's hair.
"I hope this works out." Lloyd smiled, thinking that it couldn't not be perfect with Zelos at his side for the rest of their journey.
He stared up at his partner for a long moment, just studying his features while their gazes remained locked.
"Better get going before they leave us," Lloyd laughed when he heard a shout from the distance. He broke out in a jog towards the retreating group, but just before he left his friend's side, he could have sworn he'd heard him whisper, "Forgive me, Lloyd."
Or something to that effect. It could have been anything, really, but as he glanced over his shoulder to see Zelos still standing at the gates, something inside him tightened. He put it off, however, when the redheaded Chosen finally started after him.
'What's bothering him…?'
Lloyd couldn't say why, but he was growing more and more nervous by the second.
-O-
The rheairds weren't far off, so the walk to them was just as quick as the flight to Tethe'Alla's Tower of Salvation.
The group stood at the base of the forest surrounding the tower, just staring up at the mass that took to the sky, beyond the clouds. There was something so isolated about it—something so lonely about the white pillar that couldn't be explained. No one could stare at it for very long without feeling overwhelmingly anxious.
So when Zelos had piped up about wanting to camp out and fully prepare themselves, no one objected.
Although it seemed that no one but Lloyd had noticed the urgency or desperation in the red-haired Chosen as he voiced his request. He tossed a few more logs onto the fire before he watched Zelos slip away from the others to duck into one of the tents they'd set up.
Curious about this, Lloyd followed.
"Hey," he greeted as he poked his head through the tent flap and saw Zelos sitting on his bedroll.
"Hey yourself, handsome." Zelos smiled as he turned towards his brunet companion.
"Zelos," Lloyd paused a moment in order to take a seat on the roll next to Zelos and locked eyes with the Chosen. "You've been acting strange all day. Are you sure nothing's bothering you?"
Zelos looked up suddenly. It may have been just the two of them, but the others weren't too far away. He could still hear them chatting and cooking around the fire (keeping Raine away from it), so he crawled over to the tent's opening and zipped it shut. It probably looked highly suspicious from the outside, but he didn't care.
"Is it written in stone somewhere that every time I go off I'm depressed? I'm fine, bud." Zelos offered a lopsided grin, but it fell because the look on Lloyd's face said he wasn't buying it. Then the brunet placed his hand on Zelos', playing with the glove absentmindedly.
"You say that, but you're lying, aren't you? I can see it when I look at you. Tell me what's wrong. You know I'll listen," Lloyd pursued, with that startlingly honest look on his face. Zelos couldn't take it anymore and bit his lip, pulling Lloyd to his chest by the other's wrist. Lloyd made a noise of confusion, but Zelos ignored it.
He had every right to be confused.
"Promise me that whatever happens—whatever—you won't…hate me." When Zelos spoke, it was in a small voice, as if he were afraid the words would bite him after he said them. He hugged Lloyd tighter after a beat of silence.
"What are you talking about? I thought I already told you that I love you and trus—" Zelos silenced him with a fierce kiss, not wanting to talk about trust of all things at the moment. Moving his tongue along Lloyd's seductively, Zelos did his best to forget the current flow of conversation. This was easier, anyway.
"Wait… Z-Zelos," Lloyd bit back a gasp as Zelos sucked on his bottom lip. Zelos even ignored him after he repeated himself, and kissed trails up his neck and started to unbutton his shirt, then placing kisses over his chest.
"Ngh. Zelos, I said wait! What's wrong with you today?" Zelos brought his lips back up to Lloyd's, clearly not wanting the conversation to go no farther than that.
"I love you. I love you so damn much. Lloyd, you don't even know how fucking much." Zelos' words had a touch of desperation to them, Lloyd noticed, as did his hands as they roamed over the brunet's body. He didn't stop once to actually look into Lloyd's eyes, and that worried him.
What had brought on this sudden spark of passion? Lloyd was confused as hell and it was hurting his head. He was getting more and more concerned about Zelos' abnormal behavior. He hadn't been acting himself at all; no sarcastic remarks, barely any flirtatious remarks, and he had even left Genis alone.
Now there was this desperation. And fear. Lloyd would have been an idiot not to notice.
But then Zelos was kissing him so tenderly. His hands were exploring the brunet's body as if he would never get the chance to do any of this again. Within an instant, Zelos moved to sit on top of Lloyd.
"I never want to lose you." Zelos kissed him chastely and pushed him down towards the ground. "I need you."
He nipped at Lloyd's neck, making the smaller male groan softly, allowing Zelos to continue a few moments before he fought the urge to give in. Lloyd tried to sit up, but the movement made his hips brush against the redhead's, earning strangled moans from the Chosen above him. Wanting more, Zelos reached his hand down to grab Lloyd's hips and hauled him up once more; this time they both let out a hiss of pleasure.
Lloyd was gone after that.
"Don't stop—" Lloyd twisted his hands in the bedroll beneath them, before threading his fingers through Zelos' soft hair. He was barely able to stay with it as Zelos began rolling his hips down and grinded harder into him. They moved rhythmically before he could no longer stand it. Lloyd hooked his legs around Zelos' thighs and brought them together. The Chosen moaned loudly and moved slightly faster against him. A spasm ran through Lloyd's entire body when he felt Zelos' hand slide between them and trace the shape of his pained erection.
"Z-Zelos—ah—wait." He struggled for air, pushing against Zelos' chest in a futile attempt to get him away. But one look into his love's lust-filled azure eyes said that he wasn't going anywhere.
"The others will—" Lloyd gasped, "They'll hear." He bit his lip as he tried not to be too loud. Zelos shook his head, long strands of red hair falling over his shoulder to tickle Lloyd's face and neck.
"I don't care. Let's give 'em a show." He kissed Lloyd before Lloyd unwrapped his legs and pushed Zelos roughly off him. Zelos was about to question him until he stilled at the sound of the tent's zipper opening. Lloyd managed to hide the state of his lower half just before Raine popped her head into the tent.
"Hey, you two. The food is ready. Come on out or we'll give your share to the monsters!" She said and gave them a brief, odd look before leaving to rejoin the others. It didn't seem like she'd heard, though, so Lloyd released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He really needed to think—and that allowed some of the blood in his system to return to places other than where it had just been.
"Lloyd. I'm so sorry," Zelos suddenly spoke, fisting a hand into his hair. "I said I wouldn't force you, but I all but rutted into you like some horny animal."
Lloyd flushed slightly and shook his head, scooting closer so that he could pry Zelos' hand from his scalp and kiss him.
"Don't say it like that. I…didn't tell you I hated it, did I? I…I wanted it, too. Just not here." He coughed and looked away when Zelos gave him a look of surprise.
"Anyways, we should go eat. No way in hell is some eggbear getting my food! Unless Raine actually did the cooking… You know what, I'm not even that hungry," he muttered to himself as he started crawling towards the tent's opening. Once he realized Zelos wasn't trailing after him, he glanced over his shoulder.
"Coming?"
Zelos looked highly uncomfortable as he sat with his legs folded and sweat lining his brow. "…I-I'm not really that hungry," he admitted and subtly tried to fold in on himself and subtly cover his groin with his hands. Lloyd caught onto the situation and his heart leapt inside his chest.
'Oh, god, how embarrassing. Not looking. Totally not looking!' Lloyd sucked in a breath, flushing, and nodded. He also stammered a reply before leaving to join his friends at the fire. Zelos deserved the alone time, if anything.
"Hi there! Oh, where's Zelos? I thought he was with you a moment ago?" Colette asked curiously as Lloyd sat down beside her. Lloyd's face was still slightly red, so he tried not to meet her stare head on. Instead, he let out a cough and accepted his bowl from his friend.
"H-He's not hungry!" He finally answered when all eyes were on him, and quickly dug into some of the Risotto that Genis and Presea [fortunately] had made.
"Mmm! Delicious!" Lloyd praised, stuffing half of the bowl's contents into his mouth.
The whole group looked at Lloyd and the noodles that hung every which way from his lips.
He looked back nervously.
"Uh," Sheena and Regal had been looking at him weird since he made his way over, but Lloyd saw a bit of colour on Sheena's face that hadn't been there earlier. He prayed that it was just a trick of the light from their campfire and not anything else.
"Um... Okay?" Genis spoke slowly as he stared hard at Lloyd. "Are you sure you're all right, Lloyd? You're acting weirder than normal." Presea and Colette nodded at the youngest half-elf's words.
"Is there something bothering you?" Presea asked as her pale blue eyes studied him carefully. Lloyd felt so exposed under their curious gazes and he mentally cursed Zelos for staying behind and leaving him to deal with all of the probing questions.
"No, not really. I mean… I guess I'm sort of tired and my nerves are shot." He laughed and his hand moved to the back of his neck. He muttered a goodbye and stumbled to the tent. Once again the summoner and the convict looked at each other and nodded.
Lloyd stumbled into the tent and looked at Zelos.
"You awake?" He asked quietly and sat down on his bedroll. Zelos just snored and tossed in his sleep.
"Guess not?" Lloyd sighed and leaned over Zelos' body to place a kiss to his lips. "Goodnight, you pervert." He said smiling.
Lloyd slipped into his sleeping bag and went to sleep, completely missing the sad look on Zelos' face.
BREAK BREAK BREAK MOTHATFUUU—
"Oi. Oi! Wake up, Lloyd!"
Lloyd heard Genis calling him.
"Lloyd!" Genis poked his head, laughing when the older male turned his head to glare at the half-elf hanging over his shoulder.
"Geez. You look like a zombie."
Lloyd yawned and sat up hanging his head sleepily.
"What time is it?" Lloyd yawned and looked around. All the tents had been taken down. "Hey wait, where is everyone?" He then looked around for a certain redhead, frowning when the only one around seemed to be Genis.
"They all went ahead a bit. You weren't getting up and you didn't even move when we took the tents down. I told them I'd wake you. Just get your bedding and let's go." Lloyd blinked at this and watched Genis smirk at him before standing back a few feet to give him room to get ready.
"Nice to know you'd all be there to help me if some wild monsters showed up." Lloyd mumbled to himself as he gathered his belongings. He started up a conversation with Genis as the younger male let him in the direction that the group took off in. It hardly took them a few minutes to
"Raine!" Lloyd called as soon as he was close enough to them. "Guys!" The group stopped and turned around to greet the brunet with smiles—though Lloyd was a bit peeved to see a few of them teasing.
"Nice of you to join us. I thought since you were having such a good dream, I'd leave Genis behind to wake you, since he's the only one that knows how." Raine said idly, her arms folded.
Lloyd frowned, looking between the group. "Where's Zelos?"
"He left ahead in a hurry..." Presea said walking by Genis, who was trying to comment on something-or-other about her that he thought looked cute.
"I see. That's odd… He's been acting different lately. Have any of you noticed that? You've had to have noticed." When Raine shook her head the brunet sighed and followed behind her when the group started moving on ahead.
"Nothing?"
The silence that followed was his answer.
Lloyd and his group finally reached their destination after wordlessly skirting their way through the forest. They saw Zelos standing at the entrance pacing back and forth talking to himself just like he did in Flanoir. Lloyd exchanged worried glances with his other concerned friends.
"I told you all that he is insane." Genis muttered as they walked towards him. Lloyd tried not to laugh, feeling rather worried instead, and he walked ahead of everyone as he waved a hand in the air.
"Hey, Zelos!"
Said redhead jumped, eyes widening slightly, before putting on a grin.
"About time, sleeping beauty." He laughed as he sauntered over to Lloyd and ruffled his hair. The brunet batted his hand away and tried to get a good look at his friend, but Zelos wasn't meeting his eyes.
"Why did you leave? So early, I mean." Lloyd folded his arms as they continued walking. Zelos shrugged before he swung an arm around Lloyd's shoulder.
"Don't be mad, bud. I'm just feeling a little anxious, you know? Can't help it when we've got such important stuff to do. Let's just mosey on in and get this over with." He squeezed Lloyd close to him for a moment and then let go, grabbing his belt as he speed-walked ahead of everyone else.
"Hey, it's not a damn race!" Genis called as he fell behind the group. He soon caught up to Raine and Presea however, and tugged on his sister's sleeve.
"Okay, now I know I'm not the only one who's starting to get worried about that idiot," Genis said to Raine.
"Zelos…does seem to be having an inner conflict. Perhaps we should confront him?" Presea's blank gaze settled on Zelos and her brows furrowed as she glanced at the red-haired swordsman.
"Well… I bet he's just mad he hasn't gotten to hit on any women. An idiot like that can't stay serious for so long." Genis said folding his arms and glaring at the redheaded Chosen.
"I heard that!" Zelos said turning to glare at Genis, who stuck his tongue out. Zelos rolled his eyes and stopped walking when they reached the place where the Eternal Sword was kept.
'This is it...' Zelos shook his head and tried to clear his emotions for now. He turned to stare at Lloyed briefly before his gaze fell upon Colette. Smilling sweetly, he took her hand
"Colette, my dear angel. Would you mind following me for a second."
He felt a little irritated when Colette nodded happily, blinding following him.
"Okay." She was smiling as she followed Zelos to the altar, and he wasn't sure if that hurt more or the looks of confusion on the rest of his companions' faces. He still pointedly ignored Lloyd, however, terrified to see his reaction.
"Here we are," Zelos muttered, feeling his heart stammer in his chest unpleasantly. That meant it was time to put his game face on. There was way too much at risk to mess this up now. He closed his eyes just as a flash of light resonated beneath them. He killed all emotion inside of him and vehemently reassured himself that he could do this and it would be worth it in the long run.
"Good work, Chosen."
Zelos hid a flinch as he recognized the voice. Opening his eyes, Zelos grinned devilishly.
"Anything for you Lady Pronyma." That wasn't his voice anymore. It couldn't be. No. It was too low, too disgusting.
"Zelos?"
Zelos turned his head slightly, his emotions entirely hidden away as he stared at Lloyd.
"What the hell are you doing?" Sheena questioned, outraged. He almost wanted to laugh, because of course she would be the first to jump at him.
"Really. What does it look like? I'm siding with the strongest side, hunny," he spat out the last words.
"What?!"
Zelos smirked. "It's a no-brainer, really. It was a matter of weighing Cruxis, the Renegades, and you lot. And I choose the strongest, obviously. Didn't I always say I'd choose the winning side?" He finally looked at Lloyd and immediately regretted doing so. There was the look he'd been dreading. But somehow, after spending nights agonizing and preparing for it, the sadness and denial that he saw in Lloyd's—and not just his—eyes cut straight thought him. His heart stopped a moment as Lloyd stepped forward, reaching for him weakly.
"Zelos… No, I trusted you. I—You told me that I can trust you!" Lloyd clutched his chest. "You're lying! Say that you're lying! This is a stupid joke, Zelos!" Lloyd said shaking from anger and grief.
"You really are naïve. That is so sad. Or maybe pathetic is the right word here. In the end, you really shouldn't believe everything anyone tells you. It was so ridiculously easy to deceive you. A few pretty words and touches and you didn't stand a chance. You lot are even stupider than you look." He gave himself credit for being such a good actor.
Lloyd dropped his weapons, staring unbelieving down at the ground, and Zelos could see the dread and heartache wash over his features.
"All those things you said…"
"All a lie," Zelos spoke, his voice carefully monotone.
"You bastard!" Sheena said throwing one of her card seals at him. It was blocked by Pronyma, and Zelos took a moment to clench his fists, hurting himself physically to draw attention away from the way his heart was breaking quite painfully. The blood flowing down his fingers didn't help any, especially not with the way he noticed Lloyd was still looking at him.
"Let us leave now, Chosen. You shall be released from that title soon enough, like we agreed." She said turning around with a wave of her hand to open up the portal.
"By all means, lead the way, my darling." He said smiling at her. He threw a glance back at Lloyd to find him sinking to his knees to join his swords, shocked.
"You traitor!" Lloyd finally shouted, slamming a fist into the ground. Zelos' breath hitched at the sight and the raw pain he heard in his love's voice. He turned around just as Sheena rushed up by Lloyd's side.
"Lloyd! Lloyd! Lloyd!" Even Colette's shrill cry was drowned out by the sounds of Lloyd shouting at him. Zelos looked at Lloyd out of the corner of his eye and let some emotions slip across his face. Regal was the only ones to really notice the brief and pained expression on the 'traitor's' face before they disappeared.
"Dammit!"Lloyd called out shaking his head roughly as he punched the ground. "I trusted you! I trusted… I… you—"
"I knew he was hiding something! You don't just follow people willy-nilly and ask all those questions for nothing—especially not him! I fucking knew he would betray us," Sheena said furiously, kicking and screaming and throwing card seals. Regal came up behind her and grabbed her arm, muttering something into her ear that Lloyd didn't really care to hear. He slowly picked up his swords, sheathing them as he rose to his feet. It hurt to move now, the shock having finally caught up with him.
But he couldn't stop here.
"Lloyd."
The brunet clenched his teeth, but turned towards his professor. Her calm expression made him want to hit something, but he just tried to keep a somewhat blank face. Why couldn't he be that composed and unaffected? He was the exact opposite. Hell, even Genis and Presea were doing a good job at masking their hurt and anger.
"Yeah?" He asked softly, not trusting his vocal cords just yet.
"What are we going to do now?" She asked, and Lloyd finally noticed that her knuckles were white from gripping her scepter so tightly.
"We save Colette," he spoke simply. What else could they do? Something didn't sit well with this, but he didn't want to think about anything anymore. He just needed to get his friends back.
Because he sure as hell wasn't letting Zelos off with that bullshit.
No matter how harsh and biting his words had been, he knew Zelos was an actor. He always had been, but Lloyd prided himself on being able to see through his friend's façade. And there was no way he could have meant what he'd said… He couldn't have.
"Lloyd… Zelod, to you, he—"
Lloyd held a hand up, his back to Genis as he silenced him. He was fairly sure he didn't want to hear how that sentence would have been finished. Not right now, anyway. He had to keep a strong face and move on.
"Let's get the hell out of here and save our friends." He stalked forward, looking up at the ledge that held the transporter.
"Even Zelos?" Raine asked and she put her hand on Sheena's shoulder as the other woman began to speak up in protest. Lloyd looked between his friends—from Regal's calm features to Sheena's livid glare to Genis and Presea's worried looks—and he nodded. It took him a moment, but he nodded and looked upwards.
"I don't believe him. All that stuff about being the Chosen… He wouldn't have stayed exclusively with us for that. He wouldn't have made the effort that he did." At least, that's what Lloyd kept telling himself.
But the look of renewed determination on his companions' faces made him almost smile.
"It's your call, Lloyd." Genis looked up at him and managed a small smile. Lloyd was grateful for that, and he ruffled Genis' hair before he hauled himself up to where Zelos and Colette had disappeared. Inhaling, he turned towards his friend's and hoped they could sense his resolution.
"Let's go get our Chosens back," he spoke firmly and they all shared a smile.
Lloyd shut his eyes as a blue light shone from underneath them, signaling the portal's start-up. He took a moment to replay the previous day's events and his chest filled with an odd mix of fondness and hurt. It was bittersweet—thinking of all of Zelos' words, his touches, his laughter, his kisses… There was no way he could have put so much love into them if they were meant to be deceiving. They couldn't have meant nothing.
With adrenaline rushing through his veins, Lloyd strengthened his resolve—because this was one thing he couldn't go into half-hearted.
'Whatever it takes, I'm going to bring you back.'
End... For this part.
AW YEAH BOIII
So edit. Yes? I really fucking hated this story. Especially after not looking at it for at least…4 years? 4 damn years. I feel old. /crey
Gawd. So yeah.
Stuff happened. My life changed as well as my writing style and I just had to go back and at least edit this fucker. Pardon the French, but this story was utter shit. I am grateful of all the beautiful reviews I got though. For some strange reason, some of you liked this cluster-fuck of a story ;u;
I LOVE YOU GUYS SO HARD.
Seriously, I don't know how to thank you.
Bah. Look at me. Getting all emotional. I do that a lot though, so hush.
I might get around to posting up a second chapter if anyone actually remembers this. I only really edited it because it was really, really bugging me that I had something so horrid under my penname. But that's all taken care of.
I hope.
Tales of Symphonia and all its affiliates/characters/names/whatever are © Namco Bandai. Also…are eggbears in ToS? I know they're in the sequel… LAWL at the very first one that's just like 'Rawr. Rawr.' every time it swipes at Emil. Like it's actually intimidating or something.
Just as a closing thought…Lloyd is an annoying name to type.