Disclaimer: I do Not own Young Riders or any of the Characters. I wish I owned Buck though ;)

A/N: I'm rating this T for some suggestive themes. Also I wrote this years ago when I was a lot younger, but since I've recently been putting up some Young Rider stories I decided to type this one up and add it as well. I hope you like it.

I watched as my silent brother fell out of the saloon doors, a bullet hole in his chest. "No, Ike! NOO!" I scream sitting upright in my bunk bathed in sweat. I had been having this same nightmare since the day Ike had been killed nearly three months ago. As I looked around I saw all my bunkmates looking at me sleepily, all except Buck he looked to me in concern. Finally Kid asked the question they all wanted to know, "Are you alright Lou?"

I didn't want to talk about it so I just lied, "I'm fine." Swinging my legs over the edge of my bunk I hop down and pull my jacket on over my long johns; then I head for the door. "Where you going Lou?' Cody asked. "To the privy, ya got a problem with that." I said as I glared at him. Cody just held up his hands in surrender before rolling back on his side to go back to sleep. The others did the same, all except Buck, he watched as I walked out the door.

I didn't head for the outhouse like I said I was going to instead I went to the corral, where I stood watching Ike's horse, Penny. She seemed to be just as lost as I felt. I still couldn't believe Ike was gone, it just didn't seem right. I heard the soft footfalls just before a hand touched my shoulder. I half expected Kid, maybe Jimmy, but instead I found Buck next to me. I should have known; he was closer to Ike than the rest of us. They had been together since they were children in a mission school, where they used to play pranks on the nuns. Buck was the one who had taught Ike to sign, they were like brothers.

I could see the same sad look on his face, the look that had been there for months, he was still having a hard time with his loss, but like always he was more concerned about others than himself. Looking me in the eye he asked, "You dreamed about Ike again didn't you Lou?" I could only nod before I buried my face in his chest and sobbed. Buck never said a word, he just held me to him his head resting on mine. I could feel his shoulders shake as he cried too. As close as he and Ike had been, I knew he was hurting more than the rest of us, but he was always so strong. The only other time I had seen him cry was the day Ike had been killed, and at his funeral, even then he never made a noise the tears just silently fell, he never even acknowledged them. So for him to not even try to hide his grief now made me feel better, Buck was at least comfortable enough alone with me to show his true feelings.

My sobs quieted but I continued to hold Buck. Instead of him comforting me, I was the one doing the comforting now. I don't know how long we held each other when Buck's tears finally ran their course and he looked at me. "Are you ok Lou?" he asked still thinking of others first. "Yes, are you?" I asked knowing he wasn't. Buck gave me that same sad smile, "I will be in time." I hated feeling like this, I hated for Buck to be feeling like this, "It just isn't fair Buck! Out of all of us Ike was the last one I would have thought would be killed in a gunfight." I rant, knowing we both had held onto our anger for too long. "I know, I always thought if anybody it would be Jimmy, not Ike. He'd never done anything wrong." Buck said sadly, as I realized for the first time that his arms were still around me. I didn't mind. "Me too Buck. Ike was the best out of us all. I just wish I could have said goodbye. He just doesn't seem right that he's gone."

After I said that Buck gave me the first real smile I had seen on his face in months, "He's not really gone Lou. His body yes, but his spirit remains. He lives on in our minds and hearts." Buck said as he first touched his head and then laid a hand over his heart. "Yes but it's not the same thing Buck, we can't see him anymore, we can't talk to him." I tell him. Buck got a funny look on his face before he said, "Would you like to see him again Lou?" I looked at him confused, "Of course I would, but it's not possible Buck. Is it?" "There is a way Lou, come with me." Buck said as he took my hand.

"Where are we going Buck?" I asked as he led me away from the corral. "On a vision quest to see Ike," Buck answered with a genuine smile; I can't help but grin back. Buck led me to the sweathouse that Teaspoon would use when he thought one of us 'boys' needed to cool off. After Buck had prepared the necessary ingredients for the vision quest he came and sat across from me and said, "Just relax and think of Ike, the vision will come to you. I will be right here with you the entire time."

As I took the mixture from Buck he gave me an encouraging nod, so I did as Buck instructed. Slowly I felt my body slipping away from me, my spirit felt like it was flying and suddenly I found myself in a meadow. Buck was right there with me, and then Ike was standing before us with his beautiful smile spread wide over his face.

"Ike!" I cried as I threw myself into his open arms. I hugged him with every bit of strength I could muster, he returned the hug. After I released him Buck did the same. "Hello again Lou, Buck, it is good to see you again." Ike said, my eyes going wide. "You can talk?" Ike actually laughed, "Of course I can Lou; here I'm whole." Buck looked at Ike and said, "I've missed you my brother." Ike gave Buck a sad smile, "I know Buck, and I'm sorry I had to go away, but I've never left you. I promised to always watch you didn't I?" Buck gave a soft laugh, "Yes you did Ike. I knew you would keep your promise, but I still miss having you by my side." The two friends embraced again. I knew Buck had needed this more than me.

Ike and Buck finally looked in my direction and I couldn't help but ask, "What about me Ike? Are you watching over me too?" Ike smiled as he said, "Lou, I'm watching over all of my family. I always will, but now I need you both to promise me something." "Anything Ike", we say together. "Watch over each other and the others." Ike said as we both promised to do so.

Taking my hands in his Ike looked me in the eye as he said, "Lou don't be afraid to allow people in, to let them see the real you. Don't let what happened in your past make you afraid to love again, to let people know you love them. You never know when they will be taken away from you; you don't want to go through life living with the regret of never having the chance to tell them." I nod my head as a few tears slip from my eyes. "I promise Ike".

Ike moved closer to Buck and looked him in the eye. Neither of them said a word, but they never needed words. They knew each other so well; they knew what the other was thinking a lot of times before the other one knew. I knew Ike was making Buck promise him something that he didn't want me to hear. I didn't know what it could be.

After he got Buck's silent promise Ike stepped back, "Now my friends it's time to say goodbye. Buck I will always be here when you need me." Ike said to his brother before embracing him one last time. He then turned to me; I wrapped my arms around him, "Goodbye Ike." I whispered before I kissed him softly on the lips. Ike smiled at me before he let go and moved away. The vision slowly faded until I found myself in the sweathouse with Buck again. Tears were running down both our faces. I wiped mine quickly away and Buck did the same.

A few minutes later Buck turned to me and said, "You were in love with Ike weren't you Lou?" Shaking my head I said, "No. I loved him yes the same as I love all of you guys. He was family. The kiss was just the one thing I could give him. It was my way of saying goodbye." Buck thought for a minute, "I think I understand what you mean Lou. You were keeping your promise to let people see the real you. What better way than through a kiss." Buck took a deep breath before he said, "Now I must keep the promise I made Ike."

I reach out and place my hand on Buck's arm, "We both promised Ike to watch over the others Buck. You aren't alone in this, we will do it together." Buck gave me a crooked grin, "I know Lou. That wasn't the promise I was referring too. It's the silent one I was speaking of." Being the curious person that I am I asked, "What did you promise him Buck?"

Buck smiled, "It was something pretty similar to what you promised. I promised that I would tell people how I felt about them. Life is too short not too. If you don't there is the chance you will never get the opportunity again." "That's true," I say not realizing I had interrupted. "I wasn't finished Lou. Ike made me promise to tell you in particular how I feel." I look at him in question, "What do you mean Buck?"

Buck took that deep breath again before he explained. "Ike is the only one who knows the truth Lou. He wanted me to tell you." I think I know where he is going with this but still I ask, "And how do you feel about me Buck?" Buck looks me dead in the eye as he says, "I'm in love with you Lou. I have been for a very long time, but I never said anything because of Kid. I know you loved him but I needed to tell you." After Buck had said his peace he started to rise to his feet to leave, my hand on his arm stopped him.

"Buck wait, is that true?" I ask not sure if I wanted it to be true or not. Buck could just nod yes. "I don't know what to say Buck." "You don't have to say anything, I know you love Kid, but Ike was right I had to tell you." He tries to leave again but again I stop him, "Buck you know as well as I do, that what the Kid and I had is over." "That may be true Lou, but you loved him and he loved you. He still does and I know you still love him." Buck argued back his voice getting louder. "Yes I did love him Buck, but that is in the past. He's moved on; he's dating that new school teacher. It's time for me to move on too, and yes maybe I still do love him, but I don't know for sure. I'm not sure about anything anymore. I do know one thing though; I would like to see where this thing goes. I would like the chance to love you."

Buck looks at me in confusion, "What are you saying Lou?" I give him a saucy grin, "What I'm saying Buck is that while I don't think I'm in love with you yet, I would like to give it a try, give 'us' a try." I watched as my words to Buck sank in, a smile spreading across his face. He really did have a nice smile and he was a very handsome man, given the chance I think I could love him. Buck knelt down in front of me, his hands going to either side of my face. Holding me in place he brought his mouth to mine.

The kiss he gave me was soft and sweet almost shy at first, but then I put my arms around Buck's neck. His hands left my face to go to my back as he pulled me against his chest and kissed me harder. I responded in kind, pressing my small body against his lean muscular one. My hands tangling in his long hair. Then Buck kissed me as I had never been kissed before, his tongue found its way into my mouth to tease my own tongue. I heard a moan, only to realize I was the one who had moaned. It didn't take me long to learn how to use my tongue like Buck, which earned me a moan from him.

The next thing I knew I was being pushed down on the ground, Buck slightly on top of me. One of his hands moving from my back to find one of my small breasts. When I felt the warmth of his skin on my breast through the thin layer of my long johns I realized how little we were wearing, I had forgotten. I didn't know when we would put a stop to this, I wasn't sure I wanted to put a stop to this.

I didn't get a chance to stop it. Whatever was going to happen was brought to an abrupt end when Kid and Cody walked in. "Lou? Buck you two in…" Kid was saying as he walked in only to stop midsentence when he caught sight of us. We sprang apart fast, slightly guilty, though we had done nothing wrong. I was no longer Kid's girl, though judging by the look on his face right now, he seemed to think I was.

Buck slowly got to his feet, as I sat up pulling my jacket closed over my chest. Kid looked at the two of us his face filling with rage. Letting out a cry like a wild animal Kid threw himself at Buck but Cody caught him before he came in contact with Buck. "Kid, stop you don't want to do that." Cody said as he struggled to keep his hold on Kid. Kid didn't listen but continued to fight to get at Buck.

Buck just stood his ground, never even blinking. I stood and went to stand beside Buck. He moved slightly so he was shielding me with his body. By this time the others had heard the commotion and had joined us. "What's going on in here?" Teaspoon asked as he entered and took in the sight before him. I tried to step forward but Buck continued to shield me so from slightly behind his back I said, "Nothing Teaspoon, Kid just walked in on something he didn't like seeing, but that ain't any of his business." I looked dead at Kid when I said that.

Teaspoon looked at the irate Kid and then at me and Buck's slightly disheveled appearances. "Oh boy" he muttered. Kid was still struggling against Cody who was losing his grip, so Jimmy stepped in to help Cody drag him out of the sweathouse. The others left with them leaving me alone with Buck and Teaspoon.

After the others left Teaspoon looked at the two of us and asked, "Care to explain what has been going on in here tonight?" "It's my fault Teaspoon," I said. "No its mine," Buck interrupted, "Lou had a nightmare about Ike again. When she left the bunkhouse I waited for Kid to go comfort her but all he did was go back to sleep, so I went. After we both had our cries I brought her here for a vision quest to say goodbye to Ike. He made me promise to tell her the truth about my feelings for her. I did, after which we kissed. Things might have been getting a little carried away when Kid and Cody came in and found us. Kid was understandable upset by the sight of us kissing." "Yeah well he ain't got the right to get upset, I ain't his girl no more remember. What we had is over has been since we split up because he wouldn't let me be me." I said still annoyed that we had been interrupted.

Teaspoon was silent for a few minutes thinking, and then he finally said, "I think I understand the problem. Lou I know you said things are over between you and Kid, but apparently Kid still has feelings for you. Ya got to decide who it is ya want to be with, Kid or Buck. I'm going to take Buck outside and leave you to think. In a few minutes I will send Kid in, you need to fix this. Either you end things properly with Kid or you two come to an understanding. I will not have a love triangle rip my riders apart." After he said his piece he took Buck by the arm and dragged him outside. I knew Buck was probably getting a talking to.

As I was left alone, I wished I knew what I really wanted. I was still confused by the emotions and feelings that Buck had stirred in me with one single kiss. But I also knew no matter what I had said to Buck, I still had some feelings for Kid. But did I love him or did I have a chance at love with Buck? I wished Ike were here to help me, he always listened to my problems and helped me before. It wasn't long before I felt his presence surround me. Smiling I ask, "What should I do Ike? Should I patch things up with Kid, someone I did love at one time, but who also tried to change me, to hold me back. Or do I give these feelings I have for Buck a chance to grow. Buck's never tried to change me, he's never tried to hold me back, and he's always encouraged me to be my own person."

Of course I didn't hear a direct answer spoken out loud, but in my heart I knew what Ike was saying. I knew the truth about who I really loved. Now I just had to tell them which one I choose. A few minutes later Kid entered the sweathouse. He still looked a little irate but mostly hurt. "Lou? I thought you knew how I still felt about you. I'm sorry we split up, it was a mistake, and it was a mistake for me to start seeing the school teacher. I still love you. I thought you loved me too, but after what I just walked in on, I'm not sure."

I stepped closer to Kid and put one of my hands on his arm, "Kid I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen. I knew you loved me at one time, but I didn't realize you still do. I should have known but I didn't. I'm sorry you were hurt by what you saw. And I'm sorry you are going to be hurt by what I'm about to say." Kid looked at me the hurt in his eyes clear, "You don't love me; you love Buck don't you?" I give him a sad smile, "Yes I do, I have for a while, I just didn't realize until tonight. I'm sorry Kid, but I love him. Don't be mad at Buck, Kid, he's kept his feelings quiet until tonight out of respect of his friendship with you."

Kid stepped away from me turning his back towards me he said, "It's not your fault Lou, it's my own. I should have known you needed more from me. I'm not mad at you, you can't help loving him." Turning back around he had a small smirk on his face as he said, "You know, I always thought it would be Jimmy who would steal you away from me."

"Kid I'm glad you're not mad at me, but what about Buck. We all still have to work together?" I ask him. "It will take some time, but I think we will be fine in the long run. He's a good man Lou; if anybody had to steal you away I'm glad it's him. Goodbye Lou." Kid said before kissing me one last time. With that he left me alone to wait for Buck to come in.

I didn't have to wait for long. I could tell by the look on Buck's face that he did not know what I had said to Kid. I could see the fear of rejection mixed with a look of hope. "Lou," he said hesitantly. "Buck" I said as I beamed at him. He saw the smile on my face, a crooked grin spreading on his as he stepped closer to me. He stopped when he was within inches of my face, taking my hands in his he said to me, "I love you Louise McCloud." "I love you Running Buck Cross," I said before I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him. Buck responded by wrapping his arms around my back and kissing me back passionately.

I swear I could feel Ike watching with a smile on his face before his presence disappeared. Breaking the kiss Buck knelt down in front of me holding onto one of my hands he said, "I know this isn't the most romantic place and I have nothing to offer you, but I love you and I promise to love you always. I know you can take care of yourself and don't need a man to do it for you, but I would still like the job if you'll have me. Marry me Lou." Grinning down at Buck I said, "You're right I can take care of myself and I don't need a man, but I would be happy to let you have that job. So yes I will marry you Buck." Buck hopped up with what sounded like some kind of Indian whoop before he gathered me in his arms and spun me around in a circle before pressing his lips to mine again.

Teaspoon married us a month later. Emma and Sam came for the wedding. It was good to see them again. Rachel stood with me and Noah stood with Buck. It took some time but Buck and Kid were able to save their friendship. Buck and I took everything we had saved and bought a small ranch not far from the Express Station. With the Pony Express being disbanded we were all going our separate ways but our friends knew they would always be welcomed in our home. Buck also gave me the greatest wedding present; he brought my brother and sister home to live with us.

A year later we welcomed our first child into the world. A son we named Ike Teaspoon Cross. After Ike, the fallen brother who brought us together and of course Teaspoon who had become a father to all of us who rode for the Express. On that first day I would never have thought that we would all become a family but we did.

We added more children to our family over the years and we also lost more family. Noah being the first, he was killed shortly after our wedding just before the war broke out. Teaspoon died in his sleep five years after Buck and I had married. Jimmy 'wild bill' Hickok was killed during a poker game in 1876, he was shot in the back. Word came in 1882 that Jesse had been killed by one of his own gang members. Emma and Sam along with their children were taken when an epidemic broke out in their town. Rachel had eventually left Rock Creek and we lost track of her, I pray she found love again. Kid married that school teacher he was seeing and the two of them moved further west heading for California. We would receive letters from them, but in 1884 they stopped. The only reason we can think of is the obvious. Cody died in 1917 after becoming world famous with his traveling Wild West show. We always knew he would end up in show business; he was a natural born story teller. After almost sixty years of marriage Buck left me to join our brothers. But truth be told he never left, I still feel his presence all the time and sometimes Ike is with him. I know they are waiting for me. I know it won't be long before I join them all. I know when I do we will ride together as a family once more.

A/N: I hope everybody enjoyed this oneshot. As far as I know Penny is not the name of Ike's horse in the show. In fact the only one I know for sure was Kid's horse Katie. Penny was the name of a friend's horse in high school. Anyway if you enjoyed this a review would be nice.