Legolas Jones' Diary
Hey! This is just an idea that popped into my head after reading Bridget Jones' Diary. I'm not sure if I want to continue it, so if you like it, review! Thanks a lot.
Celeny
~Day One
Alcohol Units 0, (v.g., though not, however, because of self-control, but rather because nobody has anything to drink) Cigarettes 2, (g., am increasingly glad have thought ahead and brought three packs) Times Aragorn has given me a creepy 'come hither' glance 27
11:05 a.m.: Am just hiding behind rock having a fag. Aragorn keeps giving me penetrating stares, which is v. unnerving. Just when finally think it is safe to look in his direction, he raises his eyebrow suggestively. Think Aragorn is gay. Though gayness in itself is not a flaw (best friend Haldir is gay) is definitely a flaw when am straight and want to have functional relationship with adult female. Think will just smoke a bit more.
12:45 p.m.: Walking, walking, walking. Think that is all we will ever do. Simply walk and walk until the lot of us drop dead from exhaustion and the ring will be lost forever under our decomposing bodies. Saw Sam giving Frodo same exact look Aragorn was giving me. Is everyone in this Fellowship gay?!
2:27 p.m.: Was just thinking about last relationship. Was going out with girl and everything seemed fine, but then girl said was 'too needy'. Needy? Perhaps should read a bit more of 'Learning to Love Yourself'.
2:48 p.m.: You see? Hah! Do not need relationship. Just need to love myself rather like that Mariah Carey song says. But Mariah Carey did have a nervous breakdown after boyfriend left her. Hmmm. Maybe Mariah Carey is not best role model for relationships.
2:49 p.m.: Maybe Britney Spears, then. Oooo no. Just broke up with Justin Timberlake. Feel as if Music Industry is falling down around self.
5:16 p.m.: Just overheard frightful Hobbit conversation with elf hearing. Went like this: Merry: So what do think of the rest of the fellowship? Frodo: Well, Gimli is a bit strange. Like he would encourage weird sexual practices. (Precisely what I thought!) Pippin: MMhmm. What about Aragorn? Frodo: Aragorn? Well, obviously, he's gay. (Aha! Knew it!) Sam: Did you see how he kept looking at Legolas? Merry: To be honest, Legolas seemed to be enjoying it. (Gaahhhh! No!!) Pippin: I thought we already decided that Legolas was gay too? Sam: But I heard he had a girlfriend. Maybe he's one of those 'bisexuals', you know. (No! No! No!)
Think am just going to have another fag.
Hey! This is just an idea that popped into my head after reading Bridget Jones' Diary. I'm not sure if I want to continue it, so if you like it, review! Thanks a lot.
Celeny
~Day One
Alcohol Units 0, (v.g., though not, however, because of self-control, but rather because nobody has anything to drink) Cigarettes 2, (g., am increasingly glad have thought ahead and brought three packs) Times Aragorn has given me a creepy 'come hither' glance 27
11:05 a.m.: Am just hiding behind rock having a fag. Aragorn keeps giving me penetrating stares, which is v. unnerving. Just when finally think it is safe to look in his direction, he raises his eyebrow suggestively. Think Aragorn is gay. Though gayness in itself is not a flaw (best friend Haldir is gay) is definitely a flaw when am straight and want to have functional relationship with adult female. Think will just smoke a bit more.
12:45 p.m.: Walking, walking, walking. Think that is all we will ever do. Simply walk and walk until the lot of us drop dead from exhaustion and the ring will be lost forever under our decomposing bodies. Saw Sam giving Frodo same exact look Aragorn was giving me. Is everyone in this Fellowship gay?!
2:27 p.m.: Was just thinking about last relationship. Was going out with girl and everything seemed fine, but then girl said was 'too needy'. Needy? Perhaps should read a bit more of 'Learning to Love Yourself'.
2:48 p.m.: You see? Hah! Do not need relationship. Just need to love myself rather like that Mariah Carey song says. But Mariah Carey did have a nervous breakdown after boyfriend left her. Hmmm. Maybe Mariah Carey is not best role model for relationships.
2:49 p.m.: Maybe Britney Spears, then. Oooo no. Just broke up with Justin Timberlake. Feel as if Music Industry is falling down around self.
5:16 p.m.: Just overheard frightful Hobbit conversation with elf hearing. Went like this: Merry: So what do think of the rest of the fellowship? Frodo: Well, Gimli is a bit strange. Like he would encourage weird sexual practices. (Precisely what I thought!) Pippin: MMhmm. What about Aragorn? Frodo: Aragorn? Well, obviously, he's gay. (Aha! Knew it!) Sam: Did you see how he kept looking at Legolas? Merry: To be honest, Legolas seemed to be enjoying it. (Gaahhhh! No!!) Pippin: I thought we already decided that Legolas was gay too? Sam: But I heard he had a girlfriend. Maybe he's one of those 'bisexuals', you know. (No! No! No!)
Think am just going to have another fag.