The Frog Prince
Gandalf chanted the words quietly at first, then steadily grew louder as wind started to swirl around Legolas. There was a flash of green light and a clash of symbols. Smoke gathered all around him and when the clouds cleared, he was no longer there. Instead, there was a small frog dressed in a tiny cloak and clothes with a miniature bow and arrow strapped on his back. Gandalf stared down at the frog in deep contemplation.
"Gandalf?" the frog asked. It had Legolas's voice. "What happened? What is going on? Why am I still here?" He looked down upon himself and gasped in horror. "What happened? Where are my pointy ears and my long golden hair? Am...Am I...a...a FROG!?" he screeched.
"Hmmm...." Gandalf mused as he consulted his musty old spell book. "Must have been the wrong spell...Oh, here is the problem. This says Ye Old Prince to Frog Spell, not Grape to Wine Spell. Sorry, my mistake."
Legolas gaped at him. Well, as much as a frog could gape anyway. "Well don't just stand there, old man! Change me back!"
"Yes, I suppose that would be the proper thing to do," said Gandalf, looking down at the frog that was Legolas.
"Well...do it!" said Legolas the frog exasperatedly.
"I would, but that would be rather difficult, seeing as, I can't."
"What do you mean? You're a wizard! You made me a frog, so change me back!"
"No, my dear friend, I'm afraid it's not that simple. You see, the Ye Old Prince to Frog Spell requires a fair maiden to kiss the frog in order for him to return to his original state."
"That shouldn't be so hard," replied Legolas. "Just go pick one from the audience. I mean, come on. Who wouldn't want a piece of such a gorgeous elf?" He smirked, forgetting that in his present condition he did not resemble anything remotely close to a long blond haired elf.
"It cannot be just any maiden," said Gandalf grimly, "it must be from your one true love."
"What?!" screamed Legolas. "I'm over 2,000 years old! If I haven't found true love yet, what makes you think it's gonna show up now? I can't stay like this forever! Aragorn can't be prettier than me! Help me, Gandalf!" Suddenly they heard the others of the company approaching.
"Quick, hide me! Don't let the others see me!" Legolas whispered frantically. "I can't bare the fact that that dirty little Ranger who hasn't had a bath in weeks is prettier than me!"
As the company approached Gandalf scooped up Legolas the frog and deposited him in the pocket of his robes.
"Where is the Elf?" asked Aragorn. "Off getting his nails done?" The frog squirmed in Gandalf's pocket.
"He is.......indisposed," replied Gandalf.
"Is he all right?" asked the girl that had joined them after getting knocked on the head and now insisted that she was something called a 'cowgirl'.
"He will be fine. Now let us move on!" he said. "To Helm's Deep!"
Legolas rode in Gandalf's pocket, tumbling about inside it worrying about what a mess his hair would be in if he ever got it back. Since the cloth of the robes was white, how could sometimes see through it. On one particularly bright morning he noticed someone riding behind the cowgirl on her horse. He realized quickly that it was Gimli the dwarf.
"What is that nasty dwarf doing riding with her," he grumbled, "when I am so much prettier? I should be with her. I called dibs on her back at Fangorn Forest and he knows it. Grrr...I'll show him." he tried to reach back and fit an arrow to his bow, but his new webbed feet weren't very well adapted to handling a bow and arrow. In fact, he couldn't even reach the quiver on his back. "Man! I've got to change back into my gorgeous elven self!"
When Gandalf, Aragorn, Gimli, the Cowgirl, and Legolas the frog arrived at Helm's Deep, Gandalf announced that he had to leave in search for Eomer.
"What? You can't leave me here like this Gandalf!" Legolas whispered to him.
"I'm sorry, but you must stay here," Gandalf told him. "Your archery skills will be needed in the battle to come."
"But I can't even reach my arrows!" he protested. "I'm a FROG! I can't do anything!"
"I think, my dear frog, that the solution to your problem is nearer to you than you know. It is under, well more like over, your very nose."
"Huh?"
"Good day, but I must go now," said Gandalf as he pulled Legolas out of his pocket and placed him in the palm of Aragorn, who started to snigger.
"NO! Don't leave me! Where is the answer to my problem?" Legolas cried after Gandalf. "Who is supposed to kiss me?" Gandalf rode away into the fading light without another glance back.
"So, you're a frog, are you?" asked Aragorn trying to hold back a laugh.
"Oh, go wash your hair," Legolas snorted.
"At least I have hair." He started to giggle like a little girl.
"Shut up," said Legolas as the Cowgirl came up to them. She was very pretty, Legolas thought, but still not as pretty as him.
"Hey Aragorn," she said, "Do you think you can help me with this armor? I can't get it on by myself."
"Sure," Aragorn said, setting Legolas aside and smiling with satisfaction. He knew Legolas would be riddled with jealousy that he, Aragorn, the filthy Ranger, was getting to first base with the Cowgirl.
"You cursed little..." Legolas grumbled from the corner. How dare Aragorn put moves on his girl?
"Thanks," she smiled once Aragorn was done, and she walked away.
Aragorn turned back to Legolas with a smirk on his face.
"You dirty rotten...." Legolas said.
"So, what's up with the frog thing, Legolas? Tired of being a pretty boy?" Aragorn interrupted.
"If you must know," said Legolas, "Gandalf's spell backfired and he turned me into a frog."
"Oh, really. And just how do you plan to turn back into and Elf?"
"I have to get a girl to kiss me."
"Why don't you just kiss yourself? You're very girl-like."
Legolas glared at him. "Not that easy," he said. "It's got to be my 'true love.' Ya, like that exists."
Aragorn was about to reply when they heard the marching of a great army. "Saruman's forces have arrived," he said darkly. "Battle is about to begin." Suddenly it began to rain, and Aragorn made to leave and take his place on the wall.
"Wait!" Legolas pleaded. "Don't leave me here! Put me in your pocket. I may not be able to fight but I am sure not going to miss the battle."
"Alright," Aragorn agreed.
"Aragorn?"
"Yes?"
"Don't tell the dwarf."
"Not a word. Not yet anyway."
"Thanks."
The rain became harder and Legolas heard the sound of the orcs charging the fortress. Oh, how he longed to be out there, chopping off heads and kicking Uruk-Hai butt. But alas! He was doomed to remain a useless frog. Then he remembered Gandalf's parting words.
The solution to your problem is nearer than you know. It is under, well more like over, your very nose.
If only he knew what Gandalf had meant!
Suddenly there was a loud BOOM! and he and Aragorn were hurled to the ground. He was pinned between Aragorn and the ground, and if Aragorn didn't move soon Legolas felt that he would be squished flat. Luckily, Aragorn recovered his feet and drew back from the oncoming orcs. There was some more fighting, Legolas could tell, and then things seemed to take a turn for the worst when he heard someone yell "Fall Back!"
It was then that he realized that he just had to do something. They needed him, and here he was just squatting in Aragorn's pocket. All of the sudden it came to him! Cowgirl! She couldn't have just appeared for no reason! She was there for a purpose! And he had been turned into a frog for a reason! It was the gods' way of putting everything to rights. He would finally find true love amongst all the darkness, and finally become happy.
"Aragorn!" he yelled up out of the pocket. When he had gotten his attention and explained what he needed to do, Aragorn sprinted away to find Cowgirl.
"What!?" she yelled over all the commotion. "You want me to kiss a frog? You're crazy! No way!"
"Listen, milady," Aragorn pleaded with her. As much as he hated to admit it, they needed the skill of Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood. "It may be his only chance to return to an Elf, and we need him in this battle. Please, my lady!" he said as he pulled Legolas out of his pocket.
She looked at him in disgust. "I don't like frogs," she said. "They're so slimy!"
"Please..." Legolas implored. It could be that he was wrong and that he had no chance of becoming an Elf again, but he had to try. "Please..."
The girl took him into her hand, although reluctantly. She eyed him suspiciously and brought him close to her face. "What if it doesn't work?" she asked.
"Then it doesn't!" said Aragorn. "But if you don't try we will never know, and all may go to ruin!"
"Alright..." she said. She closed her eyes and brought him up to her face. She hesitated for a moment then put her lips up to the frog's slimy skin.
Suddenly the wind picked up and began to swirl around them. The frog left her hand and the cold slimy skin beneath her lips turned in to a pair of warm inviting lips. All time seemed to stop as she and the new fully grown Elf revolved in circles, locked in a warm embrace. Then it stopped, just as quickly as it had begun. She stared at the beautiful Elf before her, and he stared back at her.
"Holy crap..." Aragorn sighed. "I can't believe it."
"What happened?" she whispered. She was overcome with a strange new feeling, and she couldn't take her eyes off the elf. No one answered her. Instead they both just stared at her in disbelief. "Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked Legolas.
"That lucky *#!*#!" Aragorn muttered.
All of the sudden an arrow came whizzing past them, narrowly missing Legolas's face. This brought all of them out of their trance and back to the war at hand.
"Wait for me," Legolas said to Cowgirl. "After all of this is over I wish to speak with you. But now I must go and do what I can to defend this fortress of Rohan. I will find you again." And he left. * * * * * * The battle of Helm's Deep was over; Legolas was mounted upon his horse and standing with Gandalf, Aragorn and King Theoden, watching the retreating orcs. His mind wandered back to the Cowgirl. Did the whole frog thing really happen? It seemed like a dream, but he felt changed all the same. Then he sensed someone approach from behind. He turned, and there was the beautiful Cowgirl, sitting tall in the saddle.
"Hello," she said softly.
"Hello," Legolas replied. The End
(for now)
Gandalf chanted the words quietly at first, then steadily grew louder as wind started to swirl around Legolas. There was a flash of green light and a clash of symbols. Smoke gathered all around him and when the clouds cleared, he was no longer there. Instead, there was a small frog dressed in a tiny cloak and clothes with a miniature bow and arrow strapped on his back. Gandalf stared down at the frog in deep contemplation.
"Gandalf?" the frog asked. It had Legolas's voice. "What happened? What is going on? Why am I still here?" He looked down upon himself and gasped in horror. "What happened? Where are my pointy ears and my long golden hair? Am...Am I...a...a FROG!?" he screeched.
"Hmmm...." Gandalf mused as he consulted his musty old spell book. "Must have been the wrong spell...Oh, here is the problem. This says Ye Old Prince to Frog Spell, not Grape to Wine Spell. Sorry, my mistake."
Legolas gaped at him. Well, as much as a frog could gape anyway. "Well don't just stand there, old man! Change me back!"
"Yes, I suppose that would be the proper thing to do," said Gandalf, looking down at the frog that was Legolas.
"Well...do it!" said Legolas the frog exasperatedly.
"I would, but that would be rather difficult, seeing as, I can't."
"What do you mean? You're a wizard! You made me a frog, so change me back!"
"No, my dear friend, I'm afraid it's not that simple. You see, the Ye Old Prince to Frog Spell requires a fair maiden to kiss the frog in order for him to return to his original state."
"That shouldn't be so hard," replied Legolas. "Just go pick one from the audience. I mean, come on. Who wouldn't want a piece of such a gorgeous elf?" He smirked, forgetting that in his present condition he did not resemble anything remotely close to a long blond haired elf.
"It cannot be just any maiden," said Gandalf grimly, "it must be from your one true love."
"What?!" screamed Legolas. "I'm over 2,000 years old! If I haven't found true love yet, what makes you think it's gonna show up now? I can't stay like this forever! Aragorn can't be prettier than me! Help me, Gandalf!" Suddenly they heard the others of the company approaching.
"Quick, hide me! Don't let the others see me!" Legolas whispered frantically. "I can't bare the fact that that dirty little Ranger who hasn't had a bath in weeks is prettier than me!"
As the company approached Gandalf scooped up Legolas the frog and deposited him in the pocket of his robes.
"Where is the Elf?" asked Aragorn. "Off getting his nails done?" The frog squirmed in Gandalf's pocket.
"He is.......indisposed," replied Gandalf.
"Is he all right?" asked the girl that had joined them after getting knocked on the head and now insisted that she was something called a 'cowgirl'.
"He will be fine. Now let us move on!" he said. "To Helm's Deep!"
Legolas rode in Gandalf's pocket, tumbling about inside it worrying about what a mess his hair would be in if he ever got it back. Since the cloth of the robes was white, how could sometimes see through it. On one particularly bright morning he noticed someone riding behind the cowgirl on her horse. He realized quickly that it was Gimli the dwarf.
"What is that nasty dwarf doing riding with her," he grumbled, "when I am so much prettier? I should be with her. I called dibs on her back at Fangorn Forest and he knows it. Grrr...I'll show him." he tried to reach back and fit an arrow to his bow, but his new webbed feet weren't very well adapted to handling a bow and arrow. In fact, he couldn't even reach the quiver on his back. "Man! I've got to change back into my gorgeous elven self!"
When Gandalf, Aragorn, Gimli, the Cowgirl, and Legolas the frog arrived at Helm's Deep, Gandalf announced that he had to leave in search for Eomer.
"What? You can't leave me here like this Gandalf!" Legolas whispered to him.
"I'm sorry, but you must stay here," Gandalf told him. "Your archery skills will be needed in the battle to come."
"But I can't even reach my arrows!" he protested. "I'm a FROG! I can't do anything!"
"I think, my dear frog, that the solution to your problem is nearer to you than you know. It is under, well more like over, your very nose."
"Huh?"
"Good day, but I must go now," said Gandalf as he pulled Legolas out of his pocket and placed him in the palm of Aragorn, who started to snigger.
"NO! Don't leave me! Where is the answer to my problem?" Legolas cried after Gandalf. "Who is supposed to kiss me?" Gandalf rode away into the fading light without another glance back.
"So, you're a frog, are you?" asked Aragorn trying to hold back a laugh.
"Oh, go wash your hair," Legolas snorted.
"At least I have hair." He started to giggle like a little girl.
"Shut up," said Legolas as the Cowgirl came up to them. She was very pretty, Legolas thought, but still not as pretty as him.
"Hey Aragorn," she said, "Do you think you can help me with this armor? I can't get it on by myself."
"Sure," Aragorn said, setting Legolas aside and smiling with satisfaction. He knew Legolas would be riddled with jealousy that he, Aragorn, the filthy Ranger, was getting to first base with the Cowgirl.
"You cursed little..." Legolas grumbled from the corner. How dare Aragorn put moves on his girl?
"Thanks," she smiled once Aragorn was done, and she walked away.
Aragorn turned back to Legolas with a smirk on his face.
"You dirty rotten...." Legolas said.
"So, what's up with the frog thing, Legolas? Tired of being a pretty boy?" Aragorn interrupted.
"If you must know," said Legolas, "Gandalf's spell backfired and he turned me into a frog."
"Oh, really. And just how do you plan to turn back into and Elf?"
"I have to get a girl to kiss me."
"Why don't you just kiss yourself? You're very girl-like."
Legolas glared at him. "Not that easy," he said. "It's got to be my 'true love.' Ya, like that exists."
Aragorn was about to reply when they heard the marching of a great army. "Saruman's forces have arrived," he said darkly. "Battle is about to begin." Suddenly it began to rain, and Aragorn made to leave and take his place on the wall.
"Wait!" Legolas pleaded. "Don't leave me here! Put me in your pocket. I may not be able to fight but I am sure not going to miss the battle."
"Alright," Aragorn agreed.
"Aragorn?"
"Yes?"
"Don't tell the dwarf."
"Not a word. Not yet anyway."
"Thanks."
The rain became harder and Legolas heard the sound of the orcs charging the fortress. Oh, how he longed to be out there, chopping off heads and kicking Uruk-Hai butt. But alas! He was doomed to remain a useless frog. Then he remembered Gandalf's parting words.
The solution to your problem is nearer than you know. It is under, well more like over, your very nose.
If only he knew what Gandalf had meant!
Suddenly there was a loud BOOM! and he and Aragorn were hurled to the ground. He was pinned between Aragorn and the ground, and if Aragorn didn't move soon Legolas felt that he would be squished flat. Luckily, Aragorn recovered his feet and drew back from the oncoming orcs. There was some more fighting, Legolas could tell, and then things seemed to take a turn for the worst when he heard someone yell "Fall Back!"
It was then that he realized that he just had to do something. They needed him, and here he was just squatting in Aragorn's pocket. All of the sudden it came to him! Cowgirl! She couldn't have just appeared for no reason! She was there for a purpose! And he had been turned into a frog for a reason! It was the gods' way of putting everything to rights. He would finally find true love amongst all the darkness, and finally become happy.
"Aragorn!" he yelled up out of the pocket. When he had gotten his attention and explained what he needed to do, Aragorn sprinted away to find Cowgirl.
"What!?" she yelled over all the commotion. "You want me to kiss a frog? You're crazy! No way!"
"Listen, milady," Aragorn pleaded with her. As much as he hated to admit it, they needed the skill of Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood. "It may be his only chance to return to an Elf, and we need him in this battle. Please, my lady!" he said as he pulled Legolas out of his pocket.
She looked at him in disgust. "I don't like frogs," she said. "They're so slimy!"
"Please..." Legolas implored. It could be that he was wrong and that he had no chance of becoming an Elf again, but he had to try. "Please..."
The girl took him into her hand, although reluctantly. She eyed him suspiciously and brought him close to her face. "What if it doesn't work?" she asked.
"Then it doesn't!" said Aragorn. "But if you don't try we will never know, and all may go to ruin!"
"Alright..." she said. She closed her eyes and brought him up to her face. She hesitated for a moment then put her lips up to the frog's slimy skin.
Suddenly the wind picked up and began to swirl around them. The frog left her hand and the cold slimy skin beneath her lips turned in to a pair of warm inviting lips. All time seemed to stop as she and the new fully grown Elf revolved in circles, locked in a warm embrace. Then it stopped, just as quickly as it had begun. She stared at the beautiful Elf before her, and he stared back at her.
"Holy crap..." Aragorn sighed. "I can't believe it."
"What happened?" she whispered. She was overcome with a strange new feeling, and she couldn't take her eyes off the elf. No one answered her. Instead they both just stared at her in disbelief. "Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked Legolas.
"That lucky *#!*#!" Aragorn muttered.
All of the sudden an arrow came whizzing past them, narrowly missing Legolas's face. This brought all of them out of their trance and back to the war at hand.
"Wait for me," Legolas said to Cowgirl. "After all of this is over I wish to speak with you. But now I must go and do what I can to defend this fortress of Rohan. I will find you again." And he left. * * * * * * The battle of Helm's Deep was over; Legolas was mounted upon his horse and standing with Gandalf, Aragorn and King Theoden, watching the retreating orcs. His mind wandered back to the Cowgirl. Did the whole frog thing really happen? It seemed like a dream, but he felt changed all the same. Then he sensed someone approach from behind. He turned, and there was the beautiful Cowgirl, sitting tall in the saddle.
"Hello," she said softly.
"Hello," Legolas replied. The End
(for now)