Your name is Dave Strider and damn, do emotions suck. You'd like to say right now that nobody should ever have to deal with emotions because they are a waste and all they do is remind you who or what those emotions are directed towards. In your case, it's one hell of a who. A who that you shamefully say has consumed your life and they don't even know it! That's the worst kind of who, you'd have to say.
First and foremost, you need to say that under absolutely no circumstances are you to confront this person about your emotions. Why? Because Rose would jump all over you the moment that she realized that, hey, you actually have some sort of emotionally distraught being somewhere deep inside of you. You most certainly do not want to deal with that right now. And even less so if she decides to get your brother involved. You can do without the feelings jam tonight, thank you.
Of course she of all people would decide to text you at this exact moment. She knows you all too well and it's scary as fuck.
TT: You do realize, Strider, that if you are going to avoid me, you should at least attempt speaking with him about your minor crisis that you seem to be having.
TG: dont talk to me
Smooth, Strider. At least you're keeping it cool. Seeing as Rose knows doesn't help your case in the slightest. She's not exactly one for keeping things to herself. You know she won't tell him, though, so hopefully things won't end up too horrid for you.
Oh look at you, being hopeful for bullshit that's obviously going to happen. Well, a guy can dream, can't he? No harm in that. Just you and your stupid thoughts and stupid dreams and stupid emotions.
Damn, you're a wreck.
And you're getting another text. Fucking lovely. Because that's exactly what you had wanted.
GT: you?
GT: omg you!
GT: awwww dave thats so cute!
TG: dont breathe a word of this to anyone harley
GT: no promises!
Have someone remind you to thank your dear, dear sister for opening her big mouth. You honestly don't think you can trust Jade to keep her mouth shut. Hell, you apparently can't trust Rose either! God damn, Rose, is nothing sacred?
Maybe Jade won't say anything? And if she does, it won't be all that big of deal, right? There you go, being hopeful again. You seriously need to stop doing that, you're wasting your time with doing that.
Another text. You should've seen it coming. You're prepared to throw your damn phone halfway across the hall at this rate.
CG: I JUST NEED TO START THIS OFF WITH A NICE LITTLE FUCK YOU.
CG: IF YOU'RE REALLY THAT FUCKING DESPERATE, MAYBE YOU SHOULD CONSIDER, OH I DON'T KNOW, GETTING YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR FUCKING ASS AND TALKING TO HIM ABOUT YOUR PATHETIC EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS THAT YOU SEEM TO BE SPOUTING OUT OF EVERY ORIFICE OF YOUR SOFT, FLIMSY EXTERIOR THAT YOU CALL A BODY.
You know, you don't think you're going to respond to that. Even if he is right, Karkat can go suck Sollux's dick for all you care. That's probably what he was busy doing anyway before Jade decided to interrupt him.
What the hell is even going through your head anymore?
Okay, pushing Karkat's sexual agenda out of your mind, you decide to focus on the task at hand. And what was that again? Something about talking to him, you know that much. Maybe Rose was right. As was Karkat in his own spitfire, dryly insulting sort of way.
But God forbid you let them have the satisfaction of being right. That's just not the way the Strider mind works.
TG: hey davie
TG: word on the street is that u arnt talking 2 him about ur emoticons
TG: *emotions
TG: omfg u need to get ur act together hun
TG: wank
TG: bet u thought that was a typo but it wasnt
TG: if u know what i mean ;)
Okay, who the hell told Roxy? Why even bother asking yourself that, you know it was Rose. It's always Rose. Why does she insist on doing this to you?
You've come to the conclusion that it's time to ignore the occasional beeps of your phone and handle this the mature way. And no, that's not wallowing in self-pity, as much as you seem to think that it is.
You actually take the time to think over what your friends have said, because much to your dismay, you know that they're absolutely right. You need to talk to him and soon. It's obvious that he doesn't plan on speaking to you anytime soon so it looks like you're going to have to ignite the conversation yourself. Lovely.
It takes you way longer than it probably should've to even consider looking at your phone again. Actually no, that's a lie. You've considered it for the past fifteen minutes or so, but you're just being too much of a wimp to actually go through with it. When you finally gained enough willpower to pick up the device, you quickly noticed the words "17 unread messages" flash onto your screen. Of fucking course. You'll think about looking at those later.
You're a Strider on a mission.
You're on a mission and you shall stop at absolutely nothing to achieve your goal. Or at least attempt to achieve your goal.
TG: hey john
TG: i need to talk to ya about something
Oh no, you've made a mistake. Abort mission, abort mission! What were you thinking, you dumbass? You're not ready for this! Emotions suck man, but you can't let them control your actions like this. What would John say about this? Probably reject you like a crumpled dollar bill in a coke machine. Man, you've really fucked up this time.
EB: oh god, dave, it's about time!
EB: i already know what you wanted to talk about and the answer is yes.
EB: don't make me wait that long ever again, you dork.