Music to listen whilst reading: watch?v=A7lE_iyZi6A

[9:13:50 PM] Alex: Dear Once Upon A Time

[9:14:11 PM] Ty: There Was A Lad Named Boy
[9:14:22 PM] Jake on the Cob.: And a girl named Slut
[9:14:56 PM] Alex: They were married, but didn't know how to have a happy ever later.
[9:15:18 PM] Ty: Boy Has Taken A Liking To Slut After 4 Years Of Marriage
[9:16:00 PM | Edited 9:20:09 PM] Jake on the Cob.: So one day, he sits her down to a candlelit dinner, and he asks her the magic question, tears welding in his anime eyes.
[9:17:11 PM] Alex: He took off his eyes and Slut realized he was always a blind; OH NO
[9:17:50 PM] Ty: Slut Took This Chance To Stab A Candle Through One Of His Eye Sockets
[9:18:42 PM] Jake on the Cob.: THE FLAME TICKLED HIS SOFT, SQUISHY GREY MATTER, AS GENTLE AND MAJESTIC AS THE FEELING OF A BUTTERFLY'S WINGS.
[9:20:09 PM] Alex: but he didn't know how to fly. So he took the candle out of his eye and licked the blood off, which made Slut want to bleed.
[9:20:42 PM] Ty: Slut Took Her Lover In Her Hands, And Forced His Nails Deep Into Her Neck
[9:22:16 PM] Jake on the Cob.: THE BLOOD THAT POURED FORTH FROM THE NAUGHTY NECK OF SLUT TURNED BOY ON SO MUCH THAT HE IMMEDIATELY GOT A MASSIVE ERECTION. IT WAS 2 INCHES LONG AND 5 INCHES WIDE AND IMMEDIATELY TORE HIS PANTS IN HALF.
[9:23:51 PM] Alex: They both screamed in shock, and went to Wal-Mart to get new pants. It was really intense.

After picking up some fried chikkin and some potato, they drove back home;;; Boy still in the hands of his lover.
[9:25:30 PM] Ty: Boy, Still Baring His Massive Erection Threw Slut From Under Him Straight Into The T.V., His Cock Throbbing
[9:26:39 PM | Edited 9:27:05 PM] Jake on the Cob.: SLUT WAS STUNNED AT THE AUDACITY OF HER SUB-PAR LOVER. SHE SCREAMED AS BOY MOUNTED HER, LIKE A WILD, FUCKING DOG even though he was a blind
[9:29:03 PM | Removed 9:29:09 PM] Jake on the Cob.: This message has been removed.
[9:29:45 PM] Alex: It was so sweet, Slut drew a picture of it in her diary right then and there. It was so ugly Boy threw up all over his boner. Don't worry though, shhhh, it was cool. Slut cleaned it with her tears.
[9:32:25 PM] Ty: Boy Looked At The Vomit, And Looked Down At Slut, Boy Still Wondering How The Fuck He Still Hasnt Fallen Since He Threw His Partner From Under Him, He Fell, Landing On His Saggy Nut Sack His Balls Bursted, Sack Tearing From The Abdundence Of Seed, Filing The Living Room Half Way
[9:33:53 PM] Jake on the Cob.: WHEN HIS BALLS BURST, BOY SCREAMED. AND HIS SCREAM WAS SO UNCOUTHLY CHILDISH THAT A CRACK IN THE FLOOR OF THEIR ABODE APPEARED. STILL, HE SCREAMED, AND THE CRACK GREW BIGGER, THREATENING TO PULL SLUT DOWN INTO THE DEEP DARK ABYSS.
[9:37:48 PM | Edited 9:38:19 PM] Alex: He leaped up to grasp her neck and pull her down, almost killing both of them. As her face turned purple he whispered a chilling scream into her ear, "Don't worry. There will be blood." He turned into a Super Saiyan for a slpit fucking second and they were both brought to saftey next to the hole that doesn't exist anymore shhh don't worry I'll take care of it SHUTTHEFUCKUP. Boy slammed a pair of scissors into Slut and cut out her gooch so that his massive pee pee could fit.
[9:39:17 PM] Alex: there was no blood tho :(
[9:41:48 PM] Ty: Slut turned into a massive triceratops at that moment, screeching at the top of lung into boy's eye sockets
[9:42:31 PM] Alex: a shark popped out and everyone jumped. they died
[9:42:45 PM] Alex: The And