It was getting late and dark.
I started to walk back to the school.
At the gate I turned and looked back out into the darkness.
I turned and hurried to get inside.
I tripped and fell to the concrete.
My brother ran out the door and fell to his knees at my side.
"Kaoru" he whispered.
"I'm fine" I promised.
"You have to be more careful" he carried me back to the room bridal style.
"I could've walked" I whispered sitting on the ledge of the bed.
Hikaru turned to me and smiled "yeah and fallen down again".
I shook my head with a smile.
He sat down next to me.
Me and Hikaru were very close and probably couldn't live without each other.
So I understand him being so protective.
He looked at me.
"Sorry" he whispered resting his hand on mine.
"For what" I asked.
"Carrying you like a little girl" he looked at his feet.
"I would've done the same thing" I smiled.
He turned and nodded.
"Kaoru" he whispered.
I looked at him.
"I don't know if…..I could…" he was struggling with this.
He was talking about his feelings it always is hard on him.
He touched my cheek slightly.
I backed away.
His eyes were filled with sadness and rejection.
What was Hikaru about to say…..about to do?
He was acting strange.
I wasn't sure why…..but I sure as hell intended to find out.
"Couldn't what" I breathed heavily.
He looked up.
"It's not important" he smiled a fake smile.
I know my brother and I know that look on his face,
The look of worry that he only lets me see.
He looked at me again my guess is to see if I was still ready to listen.
I nodded.
"I don't think I could…..make it without you" he whispered.
I didn't understand this.
I just didn't get it.
Why was he saying this?
"I don't understand" I whispered.
His hand cupped my cheek.
His touch was warm and inviting.
My cheeks turned red.
"Can I" he whispered.
Hikaru and I used to look at each other as lovers but we decided it was sick so we swore to stop.
In fact this was the first time we'd touched in a while we even tried to separate for a while.
I wanted to say yes to feel his kiss.
Would it be right to put his feelings back in the wrong place?
What should I say?
I want to say yes I needed his kiss.
It just wouldn't be right.