Author's Note: Welcome to my new story! Just a heads up the beginning will involve building a fluffy Reylo relationship before I take you on the crazy adventure I have planned out. I will be including Force Ghosts, the Knights of Ren and a whole lot of angst down the road. It was rolling around my head recently and I couldn't fit it into my other Reylo Fanfiction. It's called Unbreakable Bond… check it out! So strap in, we have a long road ahead of us...

Secret Confessions

Chapter 1 - Don't let me go

Rey closed the door to her room with a soft thud. She leaned her back against it while attempting to steady her breathing. It had been nearly a month since the events of Crait had occurred. The pressures of the Resistance were getting to her and the recent loss of Leia was proving too much to bear. She was finding herself lost in her memories and her thoughts kept straying to him. All her emotions began to well in her eyes and a single tear started making its decent down her face.

At that exact instant, she felt that familiar tug that signalled she was about to connect with Kylo Ren through a force bond. The last time she had seen him was the day that Leia had died. It had only been a fleeting glance. They locked eyes and clutched at their chests and then the moment was gone. She wasn't sure who closed the bond at that time because it all happened so quickly. She swiftly shut her eyes not to block him out but to keep her resolve from crumbling before him. She knew if she peered into his swirling dark orbs she wouldn't be able to resist the pull of them. She never could be sure of what direction their force bonds would go and she knew that she couldn't cope with a heated exchange right now.

Kylo was alone in his chambers when he felt the pull of his connection to her. He thought he would never get a chance to see her again unless they were in battle. The last two times they had linked it had been brief and they hadn't even exchanged any words. The most recent he had accidentally severed due to the pain from the sudden loss of his mother. He refused to resist this link even if it didn't last long. As he turned to face her he could see her leaning against the bedroom door. Her eyes were tightly closed and a tear was descending gracefully down her cheek. He watched as a breath caught in her chest and she began sliding down the door. Even crying she looked beautiful - Who was he kidding? - She would always be stunning to him.

He was the only one that got to see this vulnerable side of her. Most people knew her as the independent and strong Last Jedi - saviour of the Resistance and fierce opponent of the First Order. He got to see the true side of Rey - the exposed forgotten little girl who craves love and protection from the harsh realities of the world. The same girl who extended her hand to him across the fire on Ahch-To and silently begged for his help when Snoke wanted him to end her life. It pained him to see her like this and he desperately craved to take away her suffering. He silently made his way across the room and sat down on the floor beside her.

She brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly. Her eyes remained shut as the sobs began to escape her lips. Tears were streaming down her face and her body began to shake. She allowed her forehead to rest on the top of her folded arms. She was being washed over with the hollow sadness that she had been keeping at bay for weeks. She could feel his presence beside her now and the heat that was radiating off his body. It was soothing to know that he was here for her - right beside her when she needed him the most.

She released a shuttered breath and focused on stabilising her breathing. She lifted her head and kept her eyesight trained forward but in her periphery, she could see the stationary dark figure. Silence surrounded them both but it was strangely comforting. He knew it wasn't necessary for words to be exchanged between them. She liked this about him - the patient and compassionate side that only she got to see. He was so close that it wouldn't take much for her to reach out and touch him.

She was beginning to crave that contact when without warning, she felt his gloved hand gently grasp the space between her armband and shoulder giving her a gentle squeeze. She responded with a little nod of her head and as he went to withdraw his hand she covered it with her own locking it into place. She tilted her head to peer up at him through her eyelashes and she saw his gaze flick from their hands to her eyes. Another tear was cascading down her cheek and her lip was still quivering. He brought his free hand up to wipe away the moisture that had collected on her cheeks. As he cupped the edge of her face she leaned into his glove - his thumb moving back and forth.

He sighed. "Rey, I'm worried about you."

She stared into his eyes and all she could see was his sincerity. "You shouldn't be... I'm your enemy now remember," she whispered.

His voice was low and tender. "You know you'll never be that to me."

"Then what am I to you?" She tilted her chin up bringing their faces closer.

"What am I to you?" He retorted while raising an eyebrow and allowing a smirk to tug at the corners of his mouth.

She allowed her gaze to fall away from his expression. "I don't think talking about this is such a good idea."

He allowed his hand to drop from the place it had been resting on her jaw. "You're probably right... I don't know where we could go from here."

She looked down at their hands that were still touching and she intertwined her fingers with his. "For now can we leave everything else until tomorrow and just have this?"

He nodded and watched her next movements carefully. She shifted herself nearer and he instinctively opened his arm to allow her a chance to nestle into him. He dropped his knees to lie flush with the floor and she surprised him by taking the opportunity to climb up onto his lap. Their entangled hands wrapped around her and rested over her heart. Her form was now engulfed with his remaining arm. She was curled up under his chin and he could feel her exhaled breaths tickle at his skin. She fit perfectly in his embrace like a missing puzzle piece that had been found and he wished they could continue to do this.

She could hear the gentle thud of his heartbeat against her ear and feel his chin resting on the top of her head. The rise and fall of his chest became soothing to her. At that moment she could pretend that they weren't on opposite sides of a war. There was no light and dark side only them. She could feel his grip loosening on her and she closed her eyes to will herself to hold on. The bond was about to end - they could both feel it and there was nothing they could do to stop it.

He sealed his eyes too and tightened his hold on her even though her figure began fading out of his arms. Before he knew it she was gone. The warm from her breath still lingered on his skin and her scent clung to his clothing. He didn't know when he would see her again and he hoped that the force would connect them again soon.

After his body had disappeared from below her, she could sense the cold floor through her clothing and her head was now being propped up against the door. She could still feel the friction of his leather gloves between her fingers. She took a deep breath and silently prayed that the next time they saw each other it wasn't on the battlefield.