"Oh my God, did Mal just HAVE to create so many stairs?" Mike complained as he reached the summit of the creepy tower that just-so-happened to plant itself directly in the middle of his subconcious. Seriously, couldn't Mr. Bad Guy make an elevator or something? Well, at least Mike could shove him down the stairs later. He smirked at the thought.
"Shouldn't we be, like, having a climatic battle now or something?" Mike looked around, straining to see through the dark fog. "Guess we'll have to wait."
The music from Final Jeopardy began to play as Mike and his personalities, whom he'd met on the way, slowly grew more bored.
At long last, the evil personality appeared in a burst of flames.
"Huh?" Mike was jerked awake from his sleep.
"Hey, Mike," Mal said in his usual dark tone, smirking evilly.
"Oh, hey Mal," Mike replied in a high-pitched tone, bending his wrists forward with his fingers spread out like a girl who just recieved a manicure.
"How dare you mock me!" Mal growled, glaring coldly. The others snickered.
"I'm just saying hi. Geez!" Mike said innocently.
"Shut up and let me torment you!"
"Okay, okay..."
"Anyways," Mal continued, his sly grin returning, "Your little girlfriend is under my full control. What do you have to say to that?"
Mike shrugged. "That she's pretty gullible?"
"Well yeah, but that's not the point."
"Seems like it is."
"I SAID SHUT UP!" Mal snapped, stomping his foot angrily.
"Someone missed her nap..." Mike muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes. His other personalities pressed their hands over their mouths to stop from exploding into laughter.
"I am not a young, idiotic girl, I am a cold, cruel tyrant! Be quiet and listen to me!"
"Sure, Molly..."
"IT'S MAL!"
"Dude, relax!"
"Look, if you aren't going to take me seriously, I'll just leave!" Mal turned and began to storm away.
"Didn't anyone tell you it's rude to walk out on your girlfriend?" Mike accused.
Mal whipped around. "SVETLANA IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!"
Mike tilted his head. "You're gay?"
"NO!"
"Svetlana and Mally, sittin' in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"
"QUIT IT YOU BASTARD!"
"Somebody's flustered!" Mike teased, rocking back and forth on his heels.
"I AM NOT FLUSTERED!" Mal spat.
"Sure..."
"I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU!"
"What're you gonna do, ground me, Mom?"
"JUST SHUT UP!"
"That's what she said..."
"That doesn't even make any sense!"
Mike smirked. "Exactly! Just like your hairstyle. Seriously, where did you come up with THAT? It looks like one half of your hair just gave up the will to live."
"MY HAIR IS ORGINIAL! NO ONE INSULTS ME! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"
Mal let out a scream of rage and charged toward Mike. Mike, however, waited, seemingly unnerved. Then, just as Mal was mere inches away from him, he stepped to the side and stuck out his foot. Poor Mal attempted to stop, but couldn't, what with the Three Laws of Motion and what-not.
"NOOOO!" Mal cried, as he plummeted down the large flight of stairs. Mike waited patiently as he thumped each step painfully, screaming the whole time, until Mal finally tumbled to the ground.
"Looks like I'm back in control." With a snap of his fingers, he and his personalities were at the bottom of the stairs, looking down at a bruised and battered Mal.
"Look, dude, you win," Mal said weakly. "Truce?"
"Truce," Mike replied. He then lifted his foot. Mal tried to stop the inevitable, but it was hopeless. Mike's foot collided with his face, and the world went dark.
...
"Mike?" Zoey tapped him on the shoulder.
"Oh, hi," Mike shook his head, clearing his mind.
"Are you okay? You've been acting strange lately."
"You have no idea," Mike told her as they set off for the cabins.
...
This fic is the result of reading Piper Julian's fics that make fun of Voldemort and having an obession with Mal. Hope you liked it :P