A/N: Hi guys!
So I have writer's block, for everyone who's waiting for Lily, it's a slow process and its driving me insane, but i'm working on it. The chapter that i'm working on is practically done, it just doesn't sit right, if that makes any sense... So I went browsing and found a tonne of stories that I hadn't finished or posted, so I fixed some of them up in hopes to get some creativeness going. It worked to an extent. Sorry for making you wait so long again, but i promise its coming. I also attempted to remove my finger at work the other day, so typing is rather tedious. :P
So this, I have no idea where this came from, But i hope you enjoy it anyways.
'Mistakes happen,' the small woman says pensively.
Kensi stills at that moment. A mistake. Is that what this was? It didn't feel like a mistake. It scared her to death, yes, but this wasn't something she regretted. No. She didn't want her baby to be a mistake. Unexpected, sure, but never a mistake.
'A happy accident, more like,' the agent corrects, her hand coming to rest on her slightly swollen stomach, splaying across the material of her shirt. Hetty's face lightens, a true smile Kensi has hardly ever seen on her lips before and she knows she's said the right thing.
'Quite right,' she agrees. 'But, if Mr. Deeks does run,' Hetty says quite seriously and resolute. Oh, yes, of that she was terrified. 'You have a family here that will be with you every step of the way.'
There is no doubt that everyone in her work family would be there for her, doting on her, giving her and her child everything they needed; but it wouldn't be enough if her partner wasn't by her side every step of the way. She contains the shudder that rips through her body at the thought of Deeks leaving and then what Callen and Sam would do to him, and then what she would do to him.
'Thank you, Hetty,' Kensi smiles. She watches as Hetty walks around, and is quite shocked when the small woman embraces her tightly.
'Congratulations, my dear.'
*~-=.oOo.=-~*
She's sitting at home, watching the TV but not really processing and paying attention to the flicking screen in front of her. Kensi's been sitting here since they were given an early mark from work, trying to figure out how to tell Deeks he's going to be a father.
So hey, you knocked me up!
I'm carrying your baby.
Do you want kids? Too bad, coz you're gunna have one in the next six months!
The sarcastic side of her really needed to be kicked in the butt at this point, because it's taking her to her wits end. Nothing seemed right, but words were never really her strong suit. She needed to string words together – the right words – to convince Deeks to stay with her, and their little wonder growing in her belly.
Both hands splay against her stomach now as she smiles to herself. It's only a small bump at the moment, hardly recognisable to most people, and if Deeks noticed he's probably just assumed she's put on a few pounds since they've been seeing each other. Soon, though, the bump is going to grow, swelling her stomach to the point of popping and in those few short months, there will be a little her and Deeks in the world. The smile grows on her face when different images of children with their mixed features flash across her mind's eye. But the one that hits her right in the gut is the image of herself, flushed with exhaustion in a hospital birthing room, a small bundle being passed into her arms while her partner wraps his own around the both of them. Kensi could almost feel his lips on her forehead as he looks down at their baby in awe, excitement rolling of him. Kensi doesn't know what she would do if he wasn't there.
She startles when her door opens suddenly, reaching for the gun between the couch cushions, only to find she's pointing the weapon at her stunned partner.
'Damn it, Deeks!' she huffs, chucking the semi auto onto her coffee table and raking her fingers through her hair.
He doesn't say anything, no sarcastic comments or witty quips, he just sits down beside her on the couch waiting for her to look at him. Nerves roll off her in waves as they sit in silence. She can feel the anxiety and worry emanating from his body as he waits and Kensi thinks that he knows, but then again, he really couldn't.
'What's wrong, Kens?' he asks gently after many long minutes.
'Why would you think something is wrong?' she asks in return, finally looking up at his caring blue eyes and seeing that he wasn't buying it.
'You didn't say anything when Hetty told Callen and Sam to follow a lead about the case while we got the paper trail. You didn't complain when we were allowed to go home early, and I've been calling your name for the last ten minutes at your door before I picked the lock. And that is on the TV.'
Relief washed over her for a moment because he didn't know the secret she kept. Had he been knocking? She was too far gone in her little panicky world to realise that there was now a survivalist show flicking across her screen. She hates them; nitpicks at them. Kensi grabs the remote and turned off the TV in a huff. She should have known that Deeks would pick up on her acceptance of being stuck in the office. Hetty had told her she was on desk duty up until her maternity leave kicked in and agreed to cover for her until she told Deeks and the rest of the team.
'You're here, but you're not here, so tell me, Princess, what's wrong?' His eyes were pleading. He was worried and scared and she can tell he's itching to touch her, but he's not game to. He's scared she'll run from him, or hide away deeper into her shell like she usually did when things got too emotional. Quite a pair they are.
'Are you sick? Is it your mom?' he asks her carefully after a minute of silence between them. It snaps her out of her little bubble.
'No,' she says quickly. 'No, mom's fine, I'm fine.' I'm just going to get really fat in the next 6 months because I'm carrying your baby, but other than that, I'm sweet, her sarcastic thoughts retorted.
'Is- is it about ... Us?' he asks, fear dripping off his normally confident tones.
Kensi looks at his pained expression and gives her own. 'Yes,' she tells him quietly.
'Oh, ok,' he gulped and she wishes that she had more courage to just man up and tell him already, because this is torturing both of them. But she's selfish, trying to get as many seconds as she can with him before the last thing she sees is his back walking out her door. It breaks her heart to hear how utterly defeated he sounds. And maybe it's those pregnancy hormones but she wants to cry at him being so upset.
'So ... We're breaking up? Well I guess not, because we weren't really dating. I mean, we were sleeping together but I never really took you out on a date anywhere. Did you want me to? Is that why we're ending this?' He rambles and she can't quite believe what she's hearing. Kensi knows it one of his nervous ticks and the ramble tells her much more than the words that are leaving his mouth: he's terrified of losing her, and it makes everything so much harder.
'Deeks, just listen, please,' her voice cracks as she clutches at his hand. His scared expression softens when she touches him, but he looks at her confused.
'Kens?'
She takes a deep breath. This is it, she thinks. Kensi leans towards him, brushing her lips against his one last time before she expects him to run for the hills. He relaxes for a moment and kisses her with the same frustration as she gives him and neither really seem to want the moment to end: to give each other up.
'You're scaring me, Princess,' he pants when they finally break apart for air.
'I was trying to figure out a way to tell you this; a way that I don't lose you.'
He frowns again at her, and she can tell he's worrying again. With good reason.
'God, Kensi, you won't lose me,' he said hurriedly, grasping her hands and kissing her fingers. It makes her ache and while she wants to believe him, that no matter what, he'll stay with her, she just can't, because a baby changes everything and she won't give it up, especially if it's the only part of him she'll be allowed to keep.
'Just don't say that until you hear me out.'
The grasp on her hands tighten. 'Tell me, Kensi,' he pleads, and she can't see any other way than to just tell him, straight up and simple.
'I'm pregnant, Deeks.'
Time stops as she waits for his reaction. He blinks. And then blinks again, processing the prospect of a baby. Their baby.
'Is that your way of telling me you're seeing someone else?' he laughs, nervously, but he still hasn't let go of her hands.
It's her turn to frown at him with confusion. 'No, Deeks, you're the father.'
'Ok,' he nods, a smile forming on his lips.
It's her turn to blink at him. Seriously?! 'Is that it?' Kensi asks him angrily.
'What do you want me to say?' The smile hasn't left his face since she told him and the curl seems to annoy her, infinitely.
'I don't know!' Kensi pulls away from his hands and gets off the couch pacing furiously. 'I've spent the last few days trying to figure out how to tell you, and all you can say is 'ok'?!' she yells at him.
'How about, I love you?'
She stops and turns to him. He's wearing a lopsided grin that always makes her melt, and it's working on that right now, making the anger slip away.
Kensi shakes her head, forcing herself to focus on being angry with him. Why? Because he's not running away like you expected him to? Or because you worked yourself up for nothing?
'You can't love me Deeks.'
'Well too bad, Blye,' he tells her, getting off the couch and standing in front of her. 'I love you, and I already love that peanut in your tummy. Nothing is going to change that, princess. I'm not running,' he says kissing her forehead. 'I'm going to marry you someday, if you'll let me, and I'll love you until my very last breath. I'm not going to leave you. You're stuck with me forever.'
Her head finds his chest as tears steam down her face.
'Maybe I should take the test again, I'm not sure if I want you forever,' she jokes lamely as a sob reaches the surface.
His chest vibrates with his own laugh as arms wrap around each other, clinging desperately.
'I love you, too, Marty.'
He pulls her off his chest so he can place his lips on hers, kissing the tears away. Eventually he kneels in front of her and pushes up her top. His lips find the flesh of her stomach tenderly while she grasps at his blonde curls.
'Hey there, Peanut,' his warm breath says across her stomach. 'You be good to your mom for the next few months, ok? Her mood swings are bad enough without you adding to the mix,' he chuckled. Kensi pulled his hair a little harder at the jab as she looked down at him with a glare.
'I can't wait until you're here. Gunna be the best damned dad you ever did see. I'll teach you how to play catch, and your mom will teach you how to not throw like a girl,' he added with a chuckle. 'You can dress me up and play with my hair, put make-up on my face. I'll teach you how to surf and do stupid magic tricks until you tell me I'm lame. I'll read to you until you fall asleep, and I'll try to hide your grandfather's rifle when you bring home your first date – no promises though, your mother is a ninja,' he kisses her stomach again, the sctruffy beard tickles her stomach making her giggle while a tear falls down her face. 'Our little mutant assassin.'
A tear falls free again as he kisses the smooth skin one last time before coming back to her lips. She can see he's scared, scared of the possibility that somewhere in his genetics he will turn out to be just like his father. And he's not. She's only ever seen him lose his temper a few times and all were justified in her eyes. She loses her temper quicker than he usually does. Deeks has spent his life helping people, doing great things and all without his fellow officer's friendship.
Kensi runs her fingers through his gently.
'Hey, you're already so much better than him. A better man, and you will be the best dad.'
He smiles at her again, pained though. 'I know Kens, but you're going to have to remind me from time to time.'
'I won't have to. This baby will do that enough,' she kisses his mouth again. 'He was barely a father to you, but you're already a better dad than he could ever be.'
As a tear streaked down his cheek, she wiped it away with her thumb.
'I'm gunna be a dad,' he whispers reverently.
A/N: reviews give me a happy. :)