Okay, so my friend and I were taking Cornell notes on this dead captain named 'Bartholomew Gosnold' and Alex's decided to say, "Bartholomew-mew. Yes I went there." And so this was born! And how I got the name Gold is from GOsnoLD. Bartholomew means 'son of Talmai' or 'son of the hill'. I know that's not a food name so I'll just dub him Bartholomew 'Basil' Gold. Just to make my typing life easier, because I hate typing our long names, especially for important characters. They get the short names like Basil or Feli. And speaking of Northern Italy, yes, I know I should be working on my other story. But this is for a friend, okay two, and needs to be done. So please remember that this is a pre-A La Mode crack-fic. Enjoy. Comments (constructive or otherwise) are appreciated.

"AAAAAHHHHH! I'm so totally going to be late!" Ichigo Momomiya yelled out as she ran with cat-speed. Due to her late release from school, her teachers were lecturing her again on not falling asleep in class, the pink mew was 15 to 20 minutes late, depending on traffic.

"Ryou is so, so, soooo going to kill me!" Again she cried out as she sped off to a bright pink and creamy white café known as Café Mew Mew. As she ran down the street she zipped right past a boy with bronze hair that was longer, but not too long, and delicate features. Bright hazel eyes that were large yet small and a gentle smile worked together on this tall boy. The name of this boy is Bartholomew Gold, also known as Basil.

Ichigo continued to run when the malicious voice of an extra-terrestrial hissed through the air at breakneck speed, aided by the power of the alien's passionate love for the pink haired girl. The voice belonged to Kissu the Cyniclon from the planet Cyniclonia. I think.

"And where do you think you're going, Kitty-cat?" He asked while floating in the air, a strange blob in his hand.

"Kissu! What are you doing here?!" Ichigo cried, getting her pendant ready.

"I'm just here to see that you get to work, honey," Kissu said, igniting the chimera animal and sending it to the ground. Unfortunately, what he chose to power his creation was not his own energy, but the energy of Basil.

Citizens shrieked at the sight of a giant mutant…thing. Just imagine the worst, because it's not going to matter in a second. Ichigo took her pendant and began to change into Mew Ichigo, the Irimotote Wildcat leader of the team Tokyo Mew Mew.

"RIBBON STRAWBERRY CHECK!" She cried, hitting the monster with her heart-shaped bell weapon that I have no idea how it works. Or why the attack is 'ribbon (the hell does it have to do with ribbons?) strawberry check (don't understand why there's check either, that just doesn't make sense)'.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Basil cried, his body free from the horrors of the chimera animal's power and soul-sucking force.

"Curses! Foiled again!" Kissu said, teleporting away from the scene of his crime, leaving Mew Ichigo to help the fallen boy.

"Are you alright?" She asked him, as he got up with her help.

"Y-yeah. I think so," Basil said, staring at the cat-eared 12 year old, who was blurred since his head was spinning and his eyes were out of focus.

"Here, let me take you to my friend. He'll be sure that Kissu didn't do anything funny to you," Mew Ichigo said to Basil, picking him up and jump-flying away to the back of Café Mew Mew. When the two got there Akasaka was out back taking out the trash. He punched the last of the ninjas from the ninth dimension, and turned to the Mew Mew and the cimera victim.

"Oh no, we better get him inside." He said, worry drawing strange pictures on his face. They hurried to the lab in the basement with Ryou telling Keiichiro to hurry up with fixing that loud banging and whooping noise.

"Ichigo, what happened?" Akasaka asked the cat-girl who was lying Basil down on a lab table.

"I was late to work because I got let out of school late, and while I was running Kissu showed up and…hey! Just a moment! I just realized something!" Ichigo the Mew Mew leader said.

"W-what is it?" Basil sputtered, picking his head up dazedly looking at her.

"Ohmigosh! I just realized that Kissu never kissed me during that entire fight of only 2 seconds!" Mew Strawberry said, though weather she was happy about that or not, the world will never know.

"P-please continue," Akasaka said in a deflated voice.

'Of all the things to think about…she has to think about that!' He thought.

"Yes, so Kissu showed up and attacked with a cimera animal fueled with his spirit!" She finished pointing at Basil.

"I'll take care of him. You just get back to work," Akasaka said to the preteen girl who was in the process of changing back into normal Ichigo Momomiya.

"Allrighty then!" Ichigo cheerily said as she skipped up to the eatery and began to get yelled at by Ryou.

"Oh, and Ichigo?" Akasaka called out to her.

"Keiichiro, was she with you?" Ryou asked his older friend in an angry voice.

"Yes, Ryou, she was." Akasaka said with a pleasant smile. That boy did entertain him.

"You two may finish up then," Shirogane said, walking away towards a loud noise and frantic apologies and na no da's of the café staff.

"What was it that you wanted to say to me Akasaka-san?" Ichigo asked the young adult.

"Please don't tell Ryou that I was fighting ninjas from the ninth dimension. He thinks I haven't done that in years."

*late at night*

There was a light green glow emanating from the café known as Café Mew Mew. A sudden, sharp scream was heard and then stopped.

"Houston…we have a problem."

Tadaaaa! I promise this will get better and the AN's will be shorter. I also don't write a lot per chapter, so yeah…. And please forgive my crappy attempts to be humorous. This chapter also contains a few inside jokes from choir (so only people in choir at my school would get it) Azumanga Daioh (the Irimotote cat instead of the Iriomote cat) and to some extent Tokyo Mew Mew in a Nutshell (love that abridged series by HikaYagami). Sorry. I don't own TMM (in a nutshell or otherwise), Azumanga Daioh, but I COULD own the 'you must pay the rent' thing if I really wanted to. Which, that Grandpa Rome (oh! Don't own Hetalia either), I don't. That things just damn weird. Ah, Fanchasaurus, how we do hate/suck up to you so.

Also possible parings are as of this first chapter: KissuxIchigo, AoyamaxIcigo, PaixLettuce, TarutoxPudding, and maybe something else that I feel bizarre thinking of, because I've never read it before and I probably won't go…no WILL go with it. Okay, then, some small KeiichiroxShirogane. Yeah, I so totally call that. But we won't really be focusing on any romance at all, so sorry to burst your delusional bubble.

Please, feel free to type in and send me a (hopefully constructive, though I really don't care for them) comment.