Disclaimer: I do NOT own Arrow or its characters. All credit goes to the show's creators/the CW/ and DC Comics.
Chapter One
Nanda Parbat-Two Months after joining Ra's
Nyssa stood in the middle of the chambers she now shared with Al Sah-him. There wasn't much difference from her previous one, but it was bigger. It had a huge bed, dressed in black silky sheets. Above it there was a chandelier that had a goth look to it. There was a Victorian style sofa dressed in black leather that was big enough for two. It faced the large window so you could see out of it while sitting. In the day time anyway. Right now there was nothing but endless black. On the other side of the room there was a privacy screen, that partially hid a tub. The floor held an ornate rug that was deep burgundy, with an intricate gold flowery pattern. It was a room suitable for royalty.
She stood there, her hands behind her back, waiting. They had just been wed (against her wishes,) and she wasn't sure exactly what to expect from the man who had once been Oliver Queen. She felt sorrow for the man who had once been good. Now? Now he was just another weapon for her father to use. Another changed soul, another person lost.
He stood near the bed, watching her as she watched him. He could see she was tense, waiting for whatever was going to happen next. What did she think he was going to do? Force her into his bed? How could she think that? She thinks he is lost, she thinks that Oliver Queen is no more. She believes that the man before her is Al Sah-him, but she is wrong. His change was a ruse; something he needed everyone to believe.
This was certainly a problem though. He had never expected that he would be forced to marry Nyssa. Worse was that Felicity knew about the marriage (all thanks to Malcom). He stood completely still, trying to weigh his options. He needed Ra's to believe he has changed, that he is no longer Oliver Queen, but Al Sah-him, and the fewer people who know he is faking his change the better. But could he really live in the same chambers with someone who looked at him the way Nyssa was? She looked at him like he was something vile. Like he was a bomb that would go off at any moment.
"Nyssa, I'm not going to force you into my bed," he said, hoping to ease her a little. She eyed him for a moment, clearly deciding whether or not to believe him. She relaxed ever so slightly. He took a step toward her, and she took a step back, hand jumping to her blade. He held up his hands in surrender. "I'm not going to hurt you Nyssa." He stepped closer, putting his lips next to her ear. She tensed up, but didn't move. "I am Oliver Queen," he whispered.
She looked at him wide eyed, and she understood. It was a ruse, the only thing she didn't know, was what he planned to do next. "What's next?" she whispered back. She knew it was unlikely that they had listeners, but she didn't want to chance it.
Oliver took a deep breath, shaking his head slightly. "I have to dethrone Ra's," he replied bluntly. He saw the realization light up her eyes, but the look was gone quickly. He knew she wanted free from her father's grasp, just as much as he did. But could she do it? Even though he knew she hated him for so many reasons; could she let him kill her father?
"You shouldn't have told me that." It was Oliver's turn to reach for his weapon. "The fewer who know the better," Nyssa said, her words matching his thoughts. She moved her hand away from her sword.
"I had to. We are stuck together whether we like it or not. I didn't want you to fear me." Oliver sat on the bed, folding his hands together.
"Please, I don't fear you," Nyssa scoffed, but she relaxed even further.
"No, you fear your father, but you don't have to anymore. As long as you're my wife, I will protect you. Even against him." Oliver stood again, feeling restless. "You know we are going to have to consummate this marriage," He said, as if it were just business.
Nyssa sighed, unpleased. "There is no way around that. My father will know if we don't." Oliver just stood next to her, waiting for her lead. "Let's get this over with," she said, going to work on removing her weapons, then her clothes.
There was nothing exciting about it. Nothing that made his stomach flutter the way it did with Felicity. Even as she stood naked in front of him, it did nothing.
She looked over at him, and she knew that she did nothing for him; just as she knew he would do nothing for her. That's what loving someone did to you. Sure, you're human so you get turned on enough to sleep with someone, but it was more like scratching an itch. There would be no love, no passion.
Oliver took a deep breath as he took her in. She had a strong body, with scars to show her past. She was pretty, and in the past he would have been all over her, but there was a different body he craved. Different curves he wanted to touch. His heart squeezed as he thought about his night with Felicity. He may only ever have that one time, but it would stay with him forever.
He could remember everything perfectly. Every touch was like a blessing, and the way her breath caught right before she reached climax would stay with him forever. The way she fit perfectly beneath him, moving with him. The way her hands ran lovingly down his back, causing him to shudder. The way her lips tasted when he kissed her, breathing her in. He would never forget the way she smelled. The way she always smelled, like clean linen mixed with her favorite perfume. He had no idea what scent it was, but it was some kind of flower, sweet but not overly so. It was a smell he'd grown accustomed to, and would miss almost as much as the woman who wore it.
Oliver had to force himself to move, slowly stripping down. This was business, nothing more, and that left him feeling empty. He walked over to Nyssa, touching her arm gently. It felt wrong, but if he had any hope of getting home, this is what he had to do. He had to play by Ra's rules, at least for now.
Star City
Felicity sat in front of her computer, trying to concentrate on the task at hand. Today she found that extremely hard. She looked up from her screen when Ray poked his head in her office. She didn't need to look up at him to know that his big smile was in place. Just like she knew that his hair was brushed nicely and his suit looked freshly pressed. She held up her finger, indicating she needed a moment. "He made a left at the light," she told Diggle, who was out in the field. "Yes, straight ahead. Watch your left! Sharp right. He's right in front of you."
There was a moment of pause, where she heard tires screeching, and something made a loud popping sound. A minute later Dig told her that they got him. "Great, gotta go," she said. "Just caught their newest thief," Felicity said, looking up at Ray. "What's up?"
"I was going to get something to eat. Want to join? Or I could bring something back for you?" Ray said, doing his best to hide his concern. She looked even more tired today than usual.
Her phone beeped, and she looked down at it. It was now two, which meant she had to get to her doctor's appointment. "I actually have a thing to do, I should be back by three thirty." she rambled as she stood, gathering her bag. She walked past him, but he grabbed her arm gently, stopping her. She looked back at him, and tried to smile at him normally.
"Are you okay?" he asked her, his eyes meeting hers with that concern that she both loved and hated.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm perfectly fine, but I really have to go," she gently pulled away, rushing to the elevator. She could see the worry on his face as the doors closed. In truth, she wasn't okay. She wasn't sleeping well, and despite the fact that Oliver was no longer Oliver, she missed him like crazy. But more than anything she was currently terrified.
She hadn't even realized that she hadn't gotten her period at first. In fact, it wasn't until she missed her period for the second time that she realized she had missed her first. She should have gotten it a week after making love to Oliver, but there was so much going on she just forgot. She only realized she should have had her period because she was in her bathroom cabinet, and saw the unopened box of tampons.
The realization had hit her like a ton of bricks, and as she raced to the store, her heart pounding in her ears. All the way there she had tried to talk herself out of the fear. She was just stressed. Yeah that had to be it. It wasn't uncommon for stress to cause a missed period. But two? No, she wasn't pregnant. She couldn't be. She was just stressed. The ride back home felt like it took forever. Once home she was thrilled that she had to pee. She took the test, and her life changed in an instant. The test said to give it three minutes, but it took only seconds for that second line to show.
She wasn't sure how long she stood over her bathroom sink, holding that little stick that told her she was going to be a mother. She shakily sat the test on her counter, staring at it some more. It was like she was hoping that if she stared at it long enough the second line would disappear. She remembered the numbness she felt as walked to her kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. The test could be wrong, she told herself. Yeah, the test could be wrong, so before she worried herself over it she needed to get it confirmed.
That's what led her here. She sat in the waiting room of the doctor's office, looking around at some of the very pregnant women. Two were talking excitedly over baby names. Apparently, the blond (who was falling out of her clothes) was having a girl, and was stuck between Emma Marie and Alexis Jade. The other woman was having a boy, and she really liked the name Jason Chace, but her husband liked Jason Alexander. There was another woman who was holding the hand of her husband. Or at least she figured it was the woman's husband because they both wore rings. They looked nervous. There was also a girl who couldn't be any older than sixteen. She was sitting next to a very disappointed looking mother.
Oh god, what would her mother think? She would probably be thrilled. The woman loved babies. She could hear her mother's voice now, all high with excitement at the news. She would race to Starling City, a bunch of baby stuff in hand. She would stuff her head full of information about babies that she thinks every mother should know. Yeah, telling her mom was going to be stressful.
The room she sat in was small, though they tried to make the space look bigger with its peach walls and tan carpet. There were a few colorful abstract pictures on the wall, along with a small T.V that was playing some talk show. Apparently some woman doesn't know how to tell her husband that the child he raised isn't his. Imagine that, a show that has to do with children. It seems ever since she found out that she is most likely pregnant, she hasn't been able to get away from constant reminders. There was a small table with parenting magazines and Peoples magazines. Apparently Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were getting divorced. Again. Did anyone even believe that anymore?
"Ms. Smoak," a nurse in pink scrubs called. She stood by the door, waiting.
Felicity took a deep breath as she stood; straightening her skirt just so she had something to do with her hands. She was currently nauseous, and wanted desperately to run away from the building. Only problem was, she needed to know. She took another deep breath, then fallowed the nurse to the back.
"Okay, can you pee?" the nurse asked, after taking her weight, and asking how tall she was.
Yeah, I think so. I can try," she replied, nervously. The nurse gave her a cup, and directed her to the bathroom.
"When you're finished, leave the cup on the tray in the bathroom, and go to room two. Second door on the left." The woman smiled, her brown eyes soft, before leaving her to it.
…
Felicity sat on the table, trying to keep herself calm. She thought about what needed to be done. She had some business to take care of at work, then she knew Diggle wanted to find a new location for their foundry. Now that the one under the club was compromised, no one felt it safe to go back there, though she found herself down there a lot recently; trying desperately to hold on to the memories it provided. Sometimes, if she closed her eyes, it was like nothing changed. She felt that pain she got in her chest whenever she thought of Oliver. It was an ache she was growing used to.
There was a soft knock on the door before a doctor walked in. He had a kind smile, and a firm grip. "I'm Dr. Morris," he said in introduction. He sat on his round chair. "So Ms. Smoak, it seems you're pregnant, Congratulations." He pushed his glassed back up his noes before he continued. "Can you tell me the first day of your last missed period?"
Felicity froze, unable to answer. Oh god, she was pregnant. Her heart seemed to be skipping beats, and for a moment she was afraid she was going to pass out. She quickly pulled herself together as she answered the doctor's questions. Then once he was done, he went on tell her about things she should and shouldn't do, foods she should try to avoid, and that she needed prenatal vitamins.
She soon found herself on her back, getting ready for an ultrasound. This whole thing seemed unreal. She felt like she was an outsider witnessing this happen to someone else. She watched the screen as the doctor moved the wand, gently pressing on her still flat belly. The doctor hit some keys, and moved around some more. "There he or she is," Dr. Morris said, pointing to the screen with a long tan finger.
Felicity looked at it, squinting her eyes a little. "You mean that little tiny bean looking thing in all that black?" she asked, unable to keep the tears from escaping her eyes. She couldn't believe this. How could this happen to her? She wasn't ready for this. What was she going to do? How could she raise a baby on her own? What was she going to do when she was at work? Or when John, Thea and Laurel need her?
"Yep, that's it," The doctor said, with a smile." Judging from what you told me, and how big the fetus is, I would say you're about six maybe seven weeks." He stood after wiping the extra gel of her still flat belly, then took off his gloves. "The baby is due January twentieth." Dr. Morris looked at her a moment. "Are you going to be okay Ms. Smoak?" he asked. She was looking rather pale, and from what he was able to gather, the father would not be in the picture.
"Ms. Smoak, you know that you can put this baby up for adoption? If you feel you're not ready to be a mother, you don't have to be," Dr. Morris said, gently. He knew that unexpected pregnancies were a lot for a woman to take in sometimes, especially when they would be doing it alone. You have options and I can give you more information if you wish."
"What? No I couldn't do that. I may be terrified, and I have no idea, like at all, how I'm going to do this, but I can't…I couldn't live knowing that I brought a baby into this world and just gave it away. He would never forgive me if I did that. This is our baby and I…" she stopped, realizing that she was rambling. She took a deep breath, and smiled at Dr. Morris. At least the best smile she could manage.
"Okay, I was just letting you know it was an option," He eyed her, she still looked pale. "You sure you're okay?"
Felicity looked up at him, forcing another smile onto her face, her words tumbling over each other. "Yes… yes… I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be great. Perfectly fine. Great."
"I will leave you to change then," he said with a quick chuckle. "It was a pleasure to meet you," he said, taking her hand, and giving it another firm shake. He instructed her to make another appointment with his staff for a check-up, before he left, closing the door behind him.
Felicity dressed quickly, forcing herself not to cry. She was determined to make the tears she cried a few moments ago be the only ones she would shed over this. She didn't know how, but somehow she would figure this out. She had to, what choice did she have?
After setting her appointment, they handed her a small envelope. She thanked them, leaving quickly. Once in her car she opened the envelope, and pulled out a couple pictures of her ultrasound. She wasn't sure what she had expected to find in there, but somehow this surprised her.
She looked at the pictures and cursed the tears that ran down her cheeks. She couldn't help it. She had no idea how she should feel at this point. She felt jittery with emotion. How was she supposed to do this? She was still trying to figure out how to let Oliver go, and now she would have a constant reminder of him. Of them.
She drove back to work, tears staining her cheeks. As she got closer, she forced herself to stop crying. She didn't need Ray to see her like this. She pulled into the parking garage, parking quickly. She took a few deep breaths, wiping at her cheeks. After a few more minutes of deep breaths she was ready to get back to work. She was going to get through this. Somehow, she had to.
…
"Hello? Earth to Felicity?" Thea said, her tone teasing.
"Hmm? What?" Felicity asked. She shook her head, and tried to get back to the task at hand. They were currently tracking down Travis Hearth, a drug dealer. "I'm on it, sorry," she said. She turned to her monitors and started clicking away. She had been thinking about what Oliver would say if he knew the news. Would he be happy? Upset? The only thing she was sure of was that he would be worried. She didn't imagine he would like having a baby in any kind of danger, though she supposed that depended on which Oliver she was talking about. Al Sah-him wouldn't care. He made that clear when he kidnapped Lyla and left Sara home alone.
"What's up with her?" Thea asked Diggle, looking at Felicity with worry. "She's been a little weird all week."
John looked over at Felicity. He had noticed this too, and was concerned for her. He knew she was having a hard time with Oliver being gone, and then they learned that their Oliver was gone, but she was handling it well, up until recently. She looked over tired and over worked. "I'll take care of it," he assured Thea.
"Okay," Thea replied. She stood, and looked around a moment. "I have to get to the club. Call me if anything changes." With that she was gone.
"Hey, Why don't we go get something to eat. We've been at this a while, and it's late. We can start this again in the morning. Big Belly on me?" he said, resting a hand on Felicity's shoulder. He noticed she paled a little as she shook her head. Her jaw clenched a little like she was trying not to be sick.
"Oh god, please don't mention that greasy place to me right now," she replied, confusing him a little. Big belly was one of her favorite places to eat.
"Okay, would you like to go anywhere else?" he asked. He wasn't leaving here without her. One way or another he was going to get food into her stomach, and make sure she gets home to sleep. Ray mentioned to him that she had been leaving vary late every night and coming in super early.
"You're not going to take no for an answer are you?" she asked, knowing that look. She sighed gently. She should have known Diggle would worry for her, and as hard as she tried to hide her emotions, she knew she wasn't being herself.
"Nope," he said, giving her a smile.
"Okay, I guess we could do Thai," she paused a moment, waiting to see if her stomach would like that answer. When she didn't get nauseous at the thought, she figured it was a good sign.
She turned off her monitor, lead the way to Ray's office, to tell him goodbye, before following Diggle to his car. The ride to their usual Thai food restaurant was a quick one, and they were soon seated. John informed her that Lyla was going to join them. This was fine with her, she really liked Lyla.
She could feel John's eyes on her, and it was making her uncomfortable. She had been wondering how and when she should tell the others about the pregnancy. It just never seemed like the right time, and she wasn't sure if she was ready for the others to know. That would truly make it real.
"Okay, what's going on with you?" John asked.
She looked up at him and smiled. "What do you mean?" she asked, trying to sound innocent.
"You haven't said more than ten words since we've arrived here. We both know your silence means something is wrong," John took her hand that was resting on the table. "Felicity, you can talk to me."
She took a deep breath. Was she ready for this? Before she could say anything they were interrupted by the arrival of Lyla. She greeted them, giving John a quick kiss, before giving him Sara. A waiter arrived with a high chair, then asked them what they wanted to drink.
Both John and Lyla asked for wine. She, on the other hand, couldn't have any. "I will take sweet tea, hold the lemon."
She listened to Lyla chatter about her work, but her eyes were on Sara, who was chewing on a toy. She had heard John say she was teething. She tried to remember if John was scared to become a father. If he was, she couldn't recall a time he said so out loud. At least not in front of her. He had fallen into fatherhood so easily. Both of them seemed to be naturals. It was like they were made to have a baby.
She didn't think it would be that easy for her. She knew nothing about babies. Okay, that wasn't true, she had the basic knowledge, but babies, in theory, was a lot different than actually having a baby.
"She's not going to bite you, you know," Lyla joked, pulling Felicity from her thoughts.
"Oh, yeah." She shook her head, putting a smile on her face. "I was just lost in thought. She gets bigger every time I see her."
Lyla and John laughed. "Yeah, they have a way of doing that." John said. He watched Felicity watch Sara. She looked terrified of her.
Felicity took a sip of her drink, looking away from Sara. She was about to ask Lyla about how she felt when she found out she was pregnant when a waitress passed by with a tray of food. The spicy hit her nose, and her stomach rolled. She jumped up quickly, barely able to hold down whatever was left in her stomach. She quickly excused herself, running to the bathroom.
…..
"Is she okay?" Lyla asked, concerned. "I mean, outside of her grieving for Oliver?"
"Honestly? I have no idea. She's been acting odd all week. She's barely spoken, tonight."
"Hmm," Lyla replied, taking a sip of her wine. She cocked her head a little to the side when she looked at Felicity's glass of tea. She couldn't recall a time when Felicity came here and didn't order wine.
"She also refused Big Belly Burger. She loves that place," John added on. "Not that it matters, I'm just worried for her, and she's not talking about it. She has to let him go somehow. She deserves to be happy."
Lyla nodded. "Did she say why she didn't want Big Belly?" Lyla asked, confusing John a little by her question.
"She actually looked a little sick at the idea. She said not to mention that greasy place to her. Maybe she's got a bug." Diggle sipped at his own wine, then poked Sara's nose playfully. She giggled in response.
Lyla sat there, a little shocked. Was Felicity pregnant? She laughed a little to herself. No, she couldn't be…Could she? Again she eyed Felicity's tea. What if she was? Lyla looked at John, he seemed clueless to the signs, but she saw them clear as day.
"Sorry about that," Felicity said, rejoining then. She put the napkin back on her lap and smiled up at them.
"You okay?" John asked. She didn't look good at all.
"Yeah, I'm fine." She picked up her tea and took a sip. She thanked god when the food arrived and had to resist the urge to scarf it down. She had noticed that the nausea was worse when she was hungry, which seemed to be all the time lately.
"So," she said, after swallowing the food that was in her mouth. "Lyla, how did you feel after you found out you were pregnant?"
Lyla's eyebrow shot up a moment. This seemed to be conformation of what she was thinking. "Well, I had mixed feelings about it. John and I were just starting over, and I was worried how we would raise a child with our kind of work. On the other hand, I was thrilled. I was nervous to tell John, because I didn't know how he would react, but I was also excited to tell him. It was a very emotional time for me." Lyla paused. "It probably would have been easier if I had talked to someone about it sooner than I did." She eyed Felicity, hoping she got her message.
Did Lyla know? Felicity wondered. The way she was looking at her it certainly seemed that way. Felicity smiled, and nodded. Maybe she was right. She would feel better if she could talk to someone about it. Lyla's phone rang, and she excused herself from the table. It was probably work.
The moment Lyla was gone, John eyed her. "So, back to our previous conversation. What's got you so on edge?"
Felicity swallowed. Could she say it out loud without falling apart? "Well…I might be... actually no might be about it. I've recently discovered that I am…Pregnant," she rambled out. She waited a beat before going on. "How could this happen? I mean, I know how it happens, but how could it happen to me? Why? Why did this happen to me? How am I going to do this? How can I live the life I live and raise a baby? I don't know how to do this!" Felicity said, voicing her fears.
John's eyes grew wide, his hand reaching for hers again. "It's going to be okay, Felicity," he said after a moment. "You aren't going to be in this alone. " He stood, and pulled her up into a tight hug. He hated the way she shook. "We've got you. You won't ever be alone in this."
"Good," she said, fear in her voice. "Because I can't do this alone."
…
One month later/Ten weeks pregnant
"Will you go in with me? I don't want to be alone," Felicity asked, Dig, when the nurse called her name. Today they would be checking up on the baby, and she would be able to hear the baby's heart beat for the first time.
"I told you, you won't have to do this alone," he said, honored she was comfortable enough to involve him in this. He took her hand and pulled her up. "You've got this," he said, giving her a reassuring smile. Felicity returned the smile (even though she looked terrified) and allowed his to bring her back to the rooms.
"I need you on the table, and your husband can sit there," the nurse said, addressing the empty chair.
"Oh, we're not together. Not that I don't want to be with him. I mean, I don't want to be with him, but he's a great guy to be with. Not that I know firsthand. We've never…I'm just going to stop talking now," she said, when John put his hand on her shoulder.
"She babbles when she's nervous," John informed the nurse, who nodded her response. This nurse wasn't the same one she had seen before.
The nurse didn't talk much as she got Felicity ready for the ultrasound. She just asked a few standard questions as she settled by the machine. She placed the wand on Felicity's Stomach just as the doctor had done before. "There's the baby," she said, smiling at Felicity. "And in just a second…" The woman paused a moment, then a sound filled the room.
The sound reminded Felicity of running horses. A thudump, thudump, thudump at a steady pace. She grabbed for John's hand. "Oh god, there's a heartbeat." she said, not that it surprised her, but it was moments like this that reminded her this was real. Her eyes filled with tears, but this time she was sure they were happy tears. Yeah, she was still terrified, but she was having a baby. Oliver's baby.
John smiled at her like he was the one who was going to be a father. "Sounds perfect," he told her, thumbing away a tear.
Felicity let out a nervous laugh. "Yeah?" she asked. She had never heard a baby's heart beat before.
"Yeah," John assured her, giving her hand a light squeeze.
Nanda Parbat
Oliver walked into his chambers, taking a sigh of relief as he did so. It was truly exhausting being someone you're not. He had just gotten back from a mission, and was happy that this time no one ended up dead.
"Welcome home," Nyssa said. She looked like she had just gotten back as well. She looked at him with sad eyes, and his heart dropped to his stomach. She had been near Starling City, so he had asked her to check on things if she could manage.
"What is it? Is someone hurt?" he asked, his alarm masked behind his calm demeanor. His insides turned at the thought that something was wrong.
"They're all okay," she assured him. He relaxed, but only a little.
"Diggle, Thea and Laurel keep watch over the city. They are managing fine without you. Diggle has taken your place as their leader. Thea seems to be working quite a bit. She manages a bar most nights. There is word that she wants to open another club. Laurel is as she always is. She's dealing with this change quite well." Nyssa stopped. Should she really share with him what she found? "Diggle, He seems to be staying close to Felicity. She looks well. Perhaps a bit tired, but well."
At this he let out the breath he was unaware he was holding, closing is eyes a moment as he did so. "Good," he said, removing his hood. He smelt of dirt and sweat, and wanted nothing more than to bathe "I'm glad that they're all okay. What about Ray? Happen to notice if he's staying out of trouble?" he asked, as he continued to remove his weapons.
"He is still working to improve his metal suit. I didn't see him fighting with the others, but that means little. I only stayed for a couple days." Nyssa paused again, this time pulling out a black drawstring pouch. They were both trying to stay open with each other. No secrets. She wasn't sure this was the right thing to do, but she had to. He had a right to know. Even if it made this separation harder.
"Felicity is going through something. I think you have a right to know." Nyssa watched the sorrow seep onto his face.
"I knew she would hurt over this. I just hope it doesn't last too long. I want her to be happy," Oliver replied. He wished he could take away her pain. He wished he could take away all of their pain.
"That's not what I mean. I was about to leave town and decided to look in one last time. I saw her leaving an OBGYN clinic with Diggle." Nyssa saw the moment he understood. His eyes lit up with understanding, then they became unreadable. "I was intrigued, so I broke into her place, and found these," Nyssa handed him the pouch she pulled out. "I will give you some time alone." With that, she walked from the room, her heart truly hurting for him.
Oliver stood there in shock. How could this be? What has he done? He looked down at the bag, but was afraid to open it. He closed his eyes, silent tears sliding down his cheeks, as he heart squeezed in his chest.
In another life he would be happy. He could see Felicity, her belly swollen from their baby. She would look radiant with that pregnancy glow. He would be there to hold her when she got nervous or rub her feet when she was on them for too long. He would be able to kiss her whenever he wanted, telling her just how much he loved her.
In another life, he would have been the first person she told, and she would have been thrilled with the idea of having his baby. Together they would go to the OBGYN and see their angel for the first time. He would be there through it all, and when the baby was born, he would get to hold it, and just be blissfully happy.
But this wasn't another life. This was his life and he wouldn't be there for anything. He would never get to see her growing belly, or be able to feel the baby kick. He would miss out on finding out the baby's sex, and getting to throw her a baby shower. He wouldn't be there when the baby was born, and he would never hold his child in his arms.
Felicity was probably scared, and cursing him for getting her into this mess. Was she angry? After the way she looked at him the last time he had seen her, he wouldn't be surprised. He needed them to believe he was gone, and he was sure they did.
He wished he could go to her, show her that he was still him. Tell her that he would be there if he could. He wanted to hold her and tell her that this was okay, that they had a bright future. Instead, he had to settle for knowing she wouldn't be alone. It was apparent from what Nyssa said about Dig leaving the OBGYN clinic with her. And Thea would eat this up. She wouldn't let Felicity down.
Oliver opened the pouch and found a positive pregnancy test, and a folded paper. He opened it, and he nearly lost his breath. It was an ultrasound picture. There was a circle around something that looked like a bean, with an arrow pointing to it. The word next to it said 'baby.' He sat on the bed, his heart aching. His baby. Their baby.
I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Reviews and comments are greatly appreciated. Thanks :D