"Bad With Names" Katty Noir
Rating: T for some cussing
A/N: So I was thinking today that they're weren't really any Riddick/Carolyn oneshots that weren't just a repeat of the last five minutes of the movie. I decided to change this. This is the day before Toombs finds him on the planet UV or whatever. Enjoy and review!
Disclaimer: I own the plot- or lack thereof.
I've never been good with names. Faces I remember fine; smells too. But names always escape me. Mother? No idea. First girlfriend? Think it started with an 'A'. First shag? Haha, like I'd even want remember her face. Of course, I do remember Imam and little Jack; probably 'cause they're the closest things I've ever had to friends. Strange word, friend. Implies trust. I never used to trust anyone.
There is one name that I remember more clearly than anyone else's. Here, in this frozen shit pile, one name. One face; one smell. She saved me, I guess you could say, from the only thing I've ever needed saving from.
Myself. And that goddamn woman gave me my humanity back. I didn't have to do anything, really. She did it all.
All I had to do was lose her. It was easy, too easy, to lose her. One moment I was holding onto her as tight as I could, literally, and the next she was gone. I remember being confused, helplessly confused, and probably less dangerous than I'd been since I was about five. All I could think about was that she was not supposed to die for me. For them, maybe, but not for me. She'd told me as much, and as I stared into the darkness, wishing to see her face again, just one more time, that was all I could think.
'Not for me!'
My shout echoed across the years and I brushed my now long, matted hair out of my face.
'Not for me,' I whispered, and poked at my meager fire with a stick.
I wondered, vaguely, what she had done to return my humanity. Wasn't just her dying for me, though that had been a big part. Maybe it was that the woman who would have sacrificed forty people to save her own skin was now willing to die… for two.
Yep, 'nother big part. In fact, it was because of her that I didn't stay with Imam and Jack. I would have liked to; the holy man had a nice house, good food and comfortable beds. A proper bed would be nice now, I mused, trying to get warm next to this pathetic excuse for a fire.
But I knew what she'd say. She knew I was dangerous, even if little Jack didn't. She also knew I had mercs on my neck. The damned woman became my conscience when she died. I think I might've loved her, if it's possible for me to love another human being.
It hurt to think about her, sometimes. Fuck that, it always hurt to think about her. I wondered sometimes what would've happened if she had taken my hand, left the other two, and gone with me to God knows where.
I wouldn't be sitting in an ice box, that was certain. Wherever I was, maybe she'd be with me. Maybe not, she was a rule-book type girl. But sometimes I thought maybe, just maybe, she'd have stayed with me. I think I would have liked that more than I'd ever tell her.
She'd have had to get used to the moving around, though. I ain't the domestic type, and I would never settle down. Christ, it even sounds boring.
Her name and face burst into my mind, filling me with shiv-sharp pain… and something else.
She smiled at me in my mind's eye, blue eyes crinkling happily and her short blonde hair in disarray.
'Just look at you now, Mister Badass,' said my hallucination. Funny, it sounded just like her. Smelt like her too. 'Stuck in a cave just to keep a kid safe. And you would have left us all.' She put her hands on her hips and laughed.
'Still think I should've,' I grumbled, half joking. But she was right. I had two soft spots in the thing called my heart, and they were both for women I'd met five years ago, on that damn planet.
My hallucination laughed at me. I glared at her. 'Just cause you're dead doesn't mean I can't kick your ass,' I threatened, not meaning a word of it and damn her, she knew it. She just smirked and kissed me on my cheek.
'Sleep well, Riddick. Trust me, you're gonna need it.'
And then she was gone, leaving a lingering smell in the cave. I felt myself getting sleepy against my will.
'Damn you, Carolyn Fry.'
---
I woke the next morning feeling more alive than I had in years. I heard a ship, off in the distance and sighed.
Knew they'd come for me one day.
I'd completely forgotten about my hallucination till I rubbed my hands over my face, trying to get the blood flowing, and my right hand came back looking like there was lipstick on it. I examined it for a moment, then laughed, long and loud and free.
'Just can't forget me, can ya, Carolyn?'