/disclaimer/:: owned not by me.
/note/:: this got taken down for profanity in the summary. let that be a lesson to everyone.
/title/:: cold, broken, alleluia
/summary/:: Aquarius loses her shit. Juvia loses her lips. The guild suffers egregiously. — Aquarius/Juvia
—
"This…is hell."
If everyone hadn't been too busy screaming into each other's ears and wading through five feet of water to get into makeshift life boats and random flotation devices to acknowledge Natsu's brilliant moment of observation, they would have agreed without question. He struggles to keep the bile in his throat as he flops like a half dead sting ray over the side of his floating refuge.
Unfortunately, too many structures have been leveled in the massive tsunami that accompanies a break up between the most powerful water spirit in the magic realm and her boyfriend. His plights don't take precedence over anybody else's. They're all literally drowning in her despair.
"I DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING," Aquarius sobs into Juvia's protesting shoulder, flailing to keep her head above water. This only makes the mermaid clutch to her tighter. "JUVIA-CHAN, WHAT DO I DO NOW…"
"ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US ALL?" Lucy screams, trying to drag Juvia into the huge crate she's acquired and ignoring the fact it's her fault she got out in the first place. "GO CRY SOMEWHERE ELSE."
"I think she's been drinking," Juvia splutters, pointing out her captors pink cheeks.
"WHY CAN'T I HAVE NORMAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH MY SPIRITS."
"Shut up, tramp, I'll kill you…"
"YOU KILL MY SOUL, AQUARIUS."
It takes an hour for Juvia to coax her into a soft, hiccuping cry, shimmering tail dull with the rain clouds now come to accompany the dramatic amount of tears she's shed.
When the water recedes and the damage is assessed, it's estimated Fairy Tail guild will probably have to prostitute its women out for the next ten years to pay for all of it. When the joke circulates over, Loke volunteers to take Lucy's share of clients.
He gets punched. By Erza. It's comedic.
Aquarius starts making out with Juvia. She's mad until Gray starts stuttering about what that's supposed to mean for him and why everyone's trying to steal his shit lately and now she's kind of wondering if this isn't the greatest day of her life.
Lucy laments her lost soul.
Erza makes sure the men lament swooning over the two women puddle-tonguing. Including Makarov.
Gray writes sad poetry.
Natsu doesn't remember eating that.
—
end.