Jess Burks
Johnny stood on the street corner, staring blankly ahead. He suddenly noticed that he was not alone on the street corner. Standing next to him was a dark-skinned girl who appeared to be around 15 or 16, had dark hair, and was wearing 'attitude' glasses. She seemed okay, so Johnny decided to break the silence.
"Um-hi." He said. The girl turned her head slowly, as if unsure how to respond. Then, once she had gotten a good look at Johnny, she turned completely around, a HUGE smile on her face, and Johnny noticed, to his horror, that she was wearing a shirt with 'I 'heart' and a picture of his face.
"Oh, fuck."
We are the crowdWe're c-coming out
Got that flash on it's true
Need that picture of you
It's so magical
We'd be so fantastic oh
The next thing Nny knew, he was running, full-speed, down the street, with his newly-found fangirl in hot pursuit. He could have sworn that he saw a trail of hearts following the girl as she squealed and ran, her arms outstretched and ready to wrap around him.
Leather and jeansWe're rock glamorous
Not sure what it means
But this photo of us
It don't have a price
Ready for those flashing lights
Cause you know that baby I
Suddenly, Nny stopped in his tracks.
Wait a minute. He thought. What am I running for? Pulling out his knife, he turned around and stabbed the girl. However, to his shock and horror, the girl just kept on walking slowly towards him like a zombie, her arms outstretched, still wearing that enormous smile. Panicked, Johnny stabbed the girl again and again, but she still kept on inching closer and closer to him, not showing even the slightest sign of pain, even though she was dripping blood down onto the ground.
What is this girl, a freaking IMMORTAL? Johnny thought, terrified beyond words by a mere fangirl. As she was just one inch away from him, Johnny stretched his leg out real far, and ran off, leaving the girl in the dust.
I'm your biggest fanI'll follow you until you love me
Papa-paparazzi
Baby there's no other superstar
You know that I'll be
Your papa-paparazzi
Promise I'll be kind
But I won't stop until that boy is mine
Baby you'll be famous
Chase you down until you love me
Papa-paparazzi
If Nny had thought that he was rid of the crazed girl, he was horribly mistaken. She soon started to turn up EVERYWHERE. One day, he was in a movie theater, watching a slasher flick, when suddenly, she jumped him and proceeded to squeeze the living daylights out of him. Another time, he was stabbing a man to death, and, just as he was finishing, a dark-skinned hand reached up with a cloth and wiped the sweat and blood off his face. He turned around, and gaped in horror as he saw the fangirl who, for some reason, was coated in blood as well. One night, he was eating out at a restaurant, and, before he had even gotten the chance to decide on a drink, a tray was set down in front of him. As Johnny watched in surprise, the lid flew off, and there stood the girl. Beaming, she held up a big cake with the words 'I LUV U!' written in icing. Freaked out, and too pissed for words, Johnny pulled another cake out of nowhere. This one was decorated with the words 'LEAVE ME ALONE!'
I'll be a girl backstage at that show Velvet ropes and guitarsYeah 'cause you're my
Rockstar in between the sets
Eyeliner and cigarettes
Johnny sat in an auditorium watching a ball game. Suddenly, the screen showed a large image of him, and the girl had her arm looped around him while winking, and making the peace sign. Instinctively, Nny pulled out his knife and threw it, however, the girl, despite her seeming immortality, moved, and a red-headed woman with big boobs was killed instead of her.
Shadow is burntYellow dance and we turn
My lashes are dry
Purple teardrops I cry it don't have a price
Loving you is cherry pie
Cause you know that baby I
Nny lay on his bed, staring restlessly up at the ceiling, when he suddenly heard a breaking sound. An intruder! Grabbing his knife, (much to the delight of the doughboys and the chagrin of Nailbunny), Nny left his room and started to look around, until he heard a bumping in the closet. He opened it, and found the girl holding a plushie of him in one hand, and a heart-shaped box, which he guessed was full of chocolates, in the other hand. The next second, the girl was punted out of Nny's house like a football, landing butt-first in the street. Just seconds later, her plushie fell into her lap, and the box fell open on her head, spilling chocolates all over her.
I'm your biggest fanI'll follow you until you love me
Papa-paparazzi
Baby there's no other superstar
You know that I'll be
Your papa-paparazzi
Promise I'll be kind
But I won't stop until that boy is mine
Baby you'll be famous
Chase you down until you love me
Papa-paparazzi
Johnny was hanging out with Squee, when suddenly, the boy ripped the skin from his face, revealing it to be a mask, and that it was really the girl, who had somehow managed to fit herself into a Squee disguise. Alarmed, Nny looked behind a bush only to find the real Squee, bound, gagged, and letting out muffled squeals behind the gag. Another time, Nny had been drinking a Slurpee, and threw the empty cup into a nearby trash can, only for the girl to pop out of the garbage, and Johnny ran away as she tried to kiss him. One day, he opened his door to go outside, only to find a bunch of innocent people all tied up, and trying to escape. They were all tied up with a big red ribbon that had a tag labeled 'To /Johnny' on it. At that point, Nny was too pissed off at the girl to kill the victims that she had so kindly brought him, so he just slammed the door.
Real good(We're dancing in the studio)
Snap snap to
(That shit on the radio)
Don't stop
(For anyone)
We're plastic but we still have fun!
The girl snuck up behind Johnny and spun him around, only to find, to her surprise, that it was a completely different guy. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the real Johnny sneaking off. One day, Johnny was looking for his knife, when suddenly he heard a whistle outside. Dreading what he knew was to come, Nny looked outside, and saw the girl, holding his knife, and standing next to a tree that had a heart carved into it, and 'Nny + H.L' inside the heart. Johnny was walking down the street, when suddenly, he passed by an electronics store with a lot of TVs in the window. And all of the screens showed the exact same thing: the girl waving at him, hearts above her head. Johnny was sure that he broke the sound barrier as he screamed.
I'm your biggest fanI'll follow you until you love me
Papa-paparazzi
Baby there's no other superstar
You know that I'll be
Your papa-paparazzi
Promise I'll be kind
But I won't stop until that boy is mine
Baby you'll be famous
Chase you down until you love me
Papa-paparazzi
Whatever little sanity Johnny had left was quickly slipping away. Never, EVER in his life had he been so afraid of anyone-even the devil himself, as he was of this girl. As the doughboys and Nailbunny watched, he boarded up his door and windows, sweating bullets as he drove nail after nail into board after board. He started to reach for another board, only to have it handed to him personally. Turning around at once, Johnny was greeted with a smiling, dark-skinned, freckled, bespectacled face. Never, in the history of the world, had anyone ever run faster than Nny did at that moment. Bursting through the boards he had just so painstakingly put up, he ran out into the street, not stopping until he was halfway across town. Johnny breathed heavily, his mind still racing, when he suddenly heard a sound. Nny's head whipped around, but he saw, to his relief, that it was just a cat. The feline looked up at Johnny with bright yellow eyes and mewed. Johnny sighed in relief, and then was suddenly glomped from behind. He glared up at the girl as she just beamed back down at him.
Johnny bolted upright in bed. It took a few seconds for his brain to register the situation, and then he growled angrily.
"I fucking hate sleep."