Dear Mama,
Happy Birthday.
I miss you a lot. Not a day goes by when I don't think of you. Life's been crazy. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if you were here today, but then I realize I don't have to wonder, I know. You would wake me up every morning for school, tell me that my shirt does in fact go with the rest of my outfit and reaffirm when I say my hair is light blond and not white. You'd drive me to my bus stop in the pouring rain but then you'd end up driving to school to give me a binder you thought I forgot, but I really didn't need, while you are in your bare feet. When I would come home, you'd ask about my day, my homework, and I'd reply in one word answers, shifting the weight in my backpack. When I feel down or depressed, I would tell you about how it hurts to be ignored and the issues my friends have, you'd in turn tell me about how your students at school drive you insane. When I would wait until the last minute to tell you something, you'd get mad, but still let me do it anyway. (Most of the time) And every night you would come in and wish me goodnight.
But since you've been gone, I've realized that there is so much that you do that I've never realized. The laundry, the dinner, the cleaning, all of it you did without complaining, and I've realized I can never do it as well as you. How did you put up with Natalia, Ivan and I? They drive me to the brink of my sanity; I don't know how you retained yours. Ivan will constantly ignore me and do whatever he wants and Natalia will threaten me with whatever is on hand whenever I tell them to stop or do something for me. I'm beside myself. I'm no different than them though; I constantly procrastinate what needs to be done, and I'm as stubborn as them. I find myself making the "just because I'm older" excuse to the two of them, just because I don't know what else to say, or I just want to be selfish. And with the mental problems in the two of them, the depression in me, sometimes I am just consumed with problems.
Lately Ivan has been coming to my room crying at night. He says in his dreams we were walking in a field of sunflowers with a mysterious figure cloaked in purple. Whenever he wakes up, he is so overwhelmed with loneliness and ends up cuddling with me. Of course, then Natalia has to come and join him, but that's beside the point. He's so young, Natalia as well; they barely remembers when we all used to go on walks together while father rested. The two of them would sit in a stroller and we'd just walk and talk. He doesn't realize why he is so attached to his light purple in his scarf he won't take off or why he loves his purple eyes. He doesn't remember purple is your favorite color; he doesn't understand why I make us all wear purple today. But he loves the color; he's a piece of you.
I love you mama. I want you to know on your birthday that you are a special lady. Without you, I wouldn't be who I am today and it would have been impossible for me to get through this year. I hope you have a wonderful day where you are.
Your Daughter,
Katyusha
A/n: it's my mom's birthday next week. She's still alive, but I thought that writing a fanfic about what she has done and what she means to me from Ukraine's pov might serve as a good present. And since Ukraine had to raise her siblings by herself, the mom is dead.
I wouldn't mind it if anyone would want to send in birthday wishes to my mom via review. Ok, actually, I'd really like some. So pretty pretty please!