Getting a job at a casino working the overnight shift, as it turns out, messes with your will to write. And to live. I heard this song a month or so ago and by the chorus I knew I wanted to write a Lassiet songfic for it. And I finally got around to it. Woo. The song is Brett Young's Sleep Without You, and the song and video for it is just adorable. If you haven't heard it, definitely give it a listen. Hope you guys enjoy this, and definitely let me know what you think.
I also want to send good vibes to our boy, Tim, while he continues recovering from his stroke. Definitely keep him in your thoughts, fellow Psychos.
Disclaimer: Not mine. But I kinda wish Brett Young was. Ah... *starts to daydream*
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Never thought I would be like this
Wide awake waiting on a good night kiss
Sipping 90 proof, talking to the moon
Counting down the hours
Til it's two AM
Never thought I would be like this
Carlton Lassiter hated sleeping alone.
When he was a little boy, he always hated the dark and quiet of their home at night. After his father left (not that he missed the drunken bastard), his mom had to take on all kinds of odd jobs. Most of those jobs kept her away late and he learned early on how to reheat his dinner, do his homework, take a bath and put himself to bed. Early on he promised himself that his children would never have to know that misery.
Then when he went off to college, he had roommates. He hated their drunken, noisy antics but he was hardly ever alone. He learned to live with the noise in exchange for never having to worry when he came awake in the middle of the night.
It was oddly comforting.
Finally he sighed and rolled out of bed. The house was dark and quiet as he padded downstairs and into the kitchen. Flipping the light switch, he grabbed a tumbler and a bottle of his favorite whiskey. Pouring himself two fingers, he took the glass and headed onto the back porch.
The moon shined brightly overhead and the velvet sky was filled with too many stars to count, all sparkling beautifully at him. A small smile tugged at his lips as he sat down and nursed his drink.
He was barely out of college when he moved in with Victoria. He had been so young and hopeful then, even if he was full of rage and loathing toward himself and the world. God, he loved her. He bought her a big, beautiful house, the kind she had always dreamed of. He gave her everything she ever wanted, even though he couldn't afford it. It didn't matter to him. As long as Victoria was happy and lying next to him at night, he didn't need anything else.
Then all of that went to shit and his California king sized bed was empty again.
His phone began to vibrate beside him and his scowl eased as he picked it up and entered his passcode.
A picture suddenly filled his screen. Juliet was rosy cheeked and mid-laugh, and a text followed a moment later.
I'll be home soon. Love you.
He ran his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes for a moment.
God, she was so beautiful.
But as long as the night ends with you in a yellow cab
Shooting me a text saying, "Coming home soon."
As long as I can bet on you crawling into bed
After slipping out your high heel shoes
I ain't lying saying have a good time
Out with your girls, girl, do what you do
Don't matter how late, baby, I'll be staying up
I can't sleep without you
He opened his eyes and snapped a picture of the moon, then sent it to her.
Juliet O'Hara had been the biggest surprise of his life. He hated her the moment Vick informed him she would be replacing Lucinda, and he hated Spencer even more for outing him and Lucinda, even though he knew he and Lucinda had no kind of real future. It didn't stop the anger from returning and, often unfairly, erupting toward O'Hara. But she took it all in stride and after a few weeks, he honestly wondered why she didn't just ask to have a different partner.
He thanked God every day that she didn't.
Juliet, often without even knowing, had helped him through some of the hardest things in his life. The finalization of his divorce from Victoria, the sudden loss of Lucinda, too many breakdowns and meltdowns to count… He was a damn mess and he knew it. When they were partnered together, the rage he had felt toward the world in his teens and early twenties had returned to his life with a vengeance.
But Juliet…
A smile came to him as he sipped his whiskey. She was so strong, so independent, but she still needed him. And in too many ways, he needed her too. She quickly broke down all those walls he had spent decades carefully building around his heart. Her infectious laugh and loyal heart made him feel things again, things he almost wished would stay buried. But they didn't.
She was too good for him, and so good for him.
Finishing his whiskey, he finally got up and headed back inside. After rinsing out the glass and tucking it back into the cabinet, he headed back upstairs. His bed looked so empty as he settled back onto his side.
Their first night together wasn't a mistake, but he sure as hell had not planned it. It was also the penultimate moment following a week from hell. A serial killer had been terrorizing women in Santa Barbara, and the bastard had a type: beautiful, blond, athletic and blue-eyed. The pattern was immediately recognized and Juliet, being the amazing woman she was, agreed to lure him out into the open. Lassiter almost lost his damn mind and the fight that ensued was one of the worst they had ever gone through as partners. Juliet went ahead with the plan and was nearly killed before they could catch the bastard.
A shudder went through him as he instinctively reached his hand out, toward her side of the bed.
He had taken her to his house after she was released from the hospital. She was bandaged, concussed, and adorably grouchy as he ushered her inside. He had almost drawn his gun on that dumbass Spencer, who volunteered to take her home and keep an eye on her. Then Juliet had quietly pointed out they had been broken up for several months and while she appreciate it, she was most certainly not going home with him. That left Lassiter and he gladly took on the task.
His eyes closed and he rested his other hand on his chest.
Who initiated that first kiss, he could never be sure. But with the exception of going to her apartment to pack it up, Juliet had been in his home since.
And now he couldn't sleep without his best friend.
I'll be tossing and turning all night, baby
To the smell of your hair on a pillowcase
Even if I tried, without you by my side
I'll be dreaming with my eyes open
I'll be tossing and turning all night, baby
Lassiter huffed and rolled onto his side, facing Juliet's empty half of the bed.
He loved when she went on her girls nights with her friends. He did. He didn't want her entire world to revolve around him; she wasn't that kind of woman. She had her friends and things that she loved to do that didn't always involve him. While that might have upset him twenty years ago, he had changed a lot since then.
This was one of her girl nights. At least twice a month, she went out for dinner and dancing with three or four of her best girlfriends. He thought it was absolutely adorable and important for her to have this time. It was part of what made her the woman he loved so damn much.
He also knew that Spencer had hated it and Juliet told him once how uncomfortable it made her when he would whine about the handful of times she would go out a month. It caused a lot of problems in the relationship and Juliet felt like she couldn't trust Shawn, especially when she caught him spying on her during a few of her outings.
Lassiter never wanted to make her feel that way.
Plus, as he learned, after her little outings she always came home adorably happy and a little drunk. When she did, she would come upstairs, slip off those heels she loved, and crawl right into his arms. Then she would kiss him lazily as she talked about the newest things going on with her best friends, and what movie they saw. Usually as she talked, her head would come to rest on his chest and soon she would fall asleep just like that.
He would hold her for a while, just stroking her hair as she breathed softly against his neck.
Oh, he loved those moments.
But as long as the night ends with you in a yellow cab
Shooting me a text saying, "Coming home soon."
As long as I can bet on you crawling into bed
After slipping out your high heel shoes
I ain't lying saying have a good time
Out with your girls, girl, do what you do
Don't matter how late, baby, I'll be staying up
I can't sleep without you
His fingers curled into the sheets and he opened his eyes again and looked at the time. Just after one. Right about now, the girls would be enjoying their last drinks. Juliet was not a heavy drinker and she hated hangovers, so she usually just enjoyed two glasses of wine. Enough to cause her to come home bright-eyed and rosy-cheeked. He loved that look on her.
The DJ was probably playing one of her favorite songs and she was probably dancing with her girlfriends, tossing her hair back.
The thought made him sigh contently.
She often invited him to join them, but he wasn't one for loud music and throngs of people. No, he was perfectly content to wait for her, even if it meant he wouldn't sleep a wink until she finally came home.
Rolling across the bed, into Juliet's side of it, he splayed his hand across the sheets she loved so much.
He needed to stop thinking about that damn clock.
Still his arms ached to hold her again. He never thought he would be like this after Victoria, but here he was.
And his best friend and lover would be home soon.
I bet that DJ's playing your song
And you're carrying on
Baby, I love the thought of it
Long as I know I'm the one you're coming home to
The opening of the front door echoed through the house and shot through him. Juliet was finally home.
He rolled back into his spot and waited patiently as she came up the stairs. Their bedroom door opened and he listened as she slipped off her favorite high heels and set them in the closet. Then there was the sound of a zipper lowering and his heart beat just a little faster.
Soft material hit the floor and the closet door opened. He knew exactly what she was doing. In the moonlight he watched her slip into one of his button up shirts, the one she bought him for his birthday last year.
She shimmied out of her panty hose next and grabbed her brush, running it through her long curls a few times until she was satisfied. Then she set the brush down and finally, finally, she crawled into bed with him.
Sighing happily, Lassiter held his arms out and Juliet immediately crawled into his embrace, settling her head on his chest. He kissed the top of her head and ran his long fingers over her arm. "Hello…"
She nuzzled into him. "Hi… Why are you still awake?"
"You know me. Can't sleep without you."
"Oh, Carlton…"
But as long as the night ends with you in a yellow cab
Shooting me a text saying, "Coming home soon."
As long as I can bet on you crawling into bed
After slipping out your high heel shoes
I ain't lying saying have a good time
Out with your girls, girl, do what you do
Don't matter how late, baby, I'll be staying up
I can't sleep without you
He held her closer and caught her lips in a sweet kiss. "Did you have fun?"
"Mm hmm." She ran a hand over his chest, her fingertips lightly playing with the coarse hair there.
"I'm glad. Dance a lot?"
"Oh yeah. The cabana boy was very obliging."
He laughed and rolled her onto her back. Using his forearms to suspend himself over her, he gave a good, menacing glare. "He doesn't have my moves."
"Well…"
His mouth was suddenly on the long column of her neck and she emitted a soft moan. "No, he doesn't…"
"Damn right," he murmured against her skin.
Juliet let her eyes flutter closed. "Carlton…"
"Hmm?"
She wound her arms around his neck. "There was no cabana boy."
A chuckle rumbled through his chest as he pulled her closer. "I suspected as much." Another kiss. "I'm glad you had fun."
"I did," she hummed in agreement. "But this is the best part."
That gave him pause. "Yeah?"
"Yes." She ran her fingers through his messy hair. "Coming home to you. I love you, Carlton."
Those four little words always resonated deeply with him, no matter how many times they fell from Juliet's lips. He suspected he would never become tired of hearing them, even if he lived a millenia. Slipping a large hand beneath her, he pulled her closer and kissed her again. Then he trailed his lips from hers, down her neck and to the spot where his shirt fell off her shoulder.
"I love you, too, Juliet."
He always would.
Doesn't matter how late, baby, I'll be staying up
I can't sleep without you
The End.
A/N: Well, thanks for reading this, everyone. For other fans of Brett Young, I'm toying with a Lassiet fic for In Case You Didn't Know. I just get all the Lassiet feels when I hear that song. LOL. Thanks for reading, everyone, and feel free to drop me a review. :D