Pandora was having... a rough day. Not only had she barely managed to restore her attractive Amazon self, but she had been peppered with arrows by that blasted would be servant of hers... She decided she'd let off steam by, oh she didn't know... destroying a village? She began to descend before a strange feeling tugged in her gut... Something terribly chaotic was happening.

Ignoring it though she continued her flight path before the feeling came back, stronger. Finally she was pulled through her own calamity portal and realized she was traveling through time itself! How strong would it have to be to pull her this far?

"Gah! Blast it, what's going on?! What could possibly be so chaotic that it feels the need to get me involved and interrupt me?! All I want to do is destroy a simple village to vent my frustrations! Is that really so much to ask?! Damn Pit, Damn Dark Pit, Damn Palutena, Damn all of Skyworld!"

Her ranting was interrupted by her arrival through the portal. She found herself in the future, in a boring little neighborhood.

"What's so chaoti-" she was cut off by a rush of power that made her shake. What was that!? She rushed to the source, Number 4 Privet and looked in through a window to see a large, bloated... Thing! It was raising it's arms and punching an object the was blocked from her view. The thing he was punching had chaotic power inside...

'What the heck is that thing? It appears to be some kind of...burlap sack...? ...Wait, does that sack have a head? And feet and hands? Odd. ...Oh my goodness, it's a child in an oversized shirt. ...It's...a child. In an oversized shirt. ...IT'S A CHILD IN AN OVERSIZED SHIRT?!"

Pandora, intrigued and disgusted, tapped the wall the house, causing it to turn into dust with a loud crushing sound. She landed and stepped in.

Vernon Dursley had caught wind of paintings floating around the house while he was at work, and he had immediately driven home. He'd been beating the freak senseless for the past 3 hours, the sun having gone down a while ago. He stopped when he heard a crushing sound and turned to see a blue haired woman in a very revealing outfit.

"Ahem...Excuse me, I hope you don't mind me turning your wall into dust and coming in. ...Ugh...That was ATROCIOUS! I should have just said 'I hope you don't mind me dropping in', that would make some semblance of sense and be somewhat witty at least..." She mumbled this last part to herself.

Vernon growled. "You... you freak! Get the bloody hell outta my house NOW!" he screamed, rushing over to grab her. Pandora smirked as his coffe table... happened to get in his way, leaving him to bruise his leg and trip. She laughed cruelly.

Meanwhile Harry, amazed Uncle had only used his fists, couldn't feel his body, but all he did fell in any place he could, was excruciating pain... pain that he deserved so rightfully... when Uncle stopped he looked up to see him rushing towards a figure where the wall used to be... curious..

Pandora looked down at the man. She decided for beating a child senseless, she'd give him a slow death. Pigs get sent to slaughterhouses right? She grinned, reaching down at the terrified man and touching his forhead, turning him into a screeching whining pig, that she warped away to a slaughter house somewhere. He'd do nicely.

"I do wonder how slaughterhouses in this world work...It seems quite different from what I'm used to...What is this hard substance the ground outside is made of, and what is that odd metal carriage? ...I'm almost tempted to try to bring Pit here to see what kind of chaos his stupidity and naivety would cause in such a world."

Harry didn't understand what the figure was saying, it was like there was a ringing in his ears. His glasses had long ago been broken. He whimpered slightly as his noise leaked more blood.

Pandora turned her sights to a little boy who was being beaten. He was the cause correct? But he was hurt... that would have to go. She walked forward with authority and looked down at the child. He couldn't have been more than three right? No her godly prowess informed her he was five.

"Hey little boy... are you alright?" Harry whimpered. Pandora frowned and knelt down closer. "I SAID...are you all right?" He whimpered again. "Can you hear me?" She said. Harry sobbed slightly, but kept it in. "HELLO?! CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?!"

Harry flinched, but his hearing came back. "Y-yes! Please don't hurt me..." he mewled, trying to escape but couldn't crawl well "Who are... who are you?"

Pandora smirked at his question. "Who am I, you ask? Who am I? Why, I am merely the goddess of chaos herself! The harbinger of mischief and misfortune, the queen of destruction, the monarch of confusion! I AM PANDORA!" She snapped her fingers, creating some fireworks behind her for effect, then turned to see the little boy's reaction to her little show.

Harry began to tear up, her tone was scaring him. He wiped his eyes and started to schooch away.

"Aw whats wrong little boy?" Pandora did not enjoy his dislike of her spectacle. "I simply told you my name. I see no reason for you to react in such a manner." She got down on her knees and looked him over. "Hmm...I suppose I should do something about those injuries."

"N-no I deserve them..." he slurred, rapidly losing consciousness.

"Nonsense!" Her fingers snapped and he was slowly out back together. His bonse snapped into place, and his bruises faded.

"All better!" she said joyously

"D-did you do that?" he asked in confusion.

Pandora put a hand on her hip. "Well of course. I AM the goddess of chaos, I can do whatever I want, whenever I want to do it. It seems some unnatural energy has awakened my true potential, however...I feel quite a bit more powerful than I did before. It's quite peculiar, but I love it."

But Uncle Vernon will.. will get you for doing that!" He didn't want his saviour getting hurt.

Pandora laughed.

"Silly child, he can't touch me. He can't touch you ever again." She told him. "He is quite literally a pig in the slaughterhouse. Perhaps I can order his remains for dinner one night...I wonder how he would taste... Hmm...No, I'm sure that pig would be just FULL of carbs..." She gestured to her body. "I can't very well have anything happen to my beautiful figure, now, can I?"

Harry whimpered again, still unnerved. His whimper turned to sobs. Uncle Vernon was gone... he was free! He cried into his knees.

Pandora turned her head. "Um... child? What's wrong?" she asked uncomfortably, not sure what to do. Suddenly a tiny frame was wrapped around her, squeezing her as tightly as he could, which wasn't very tight. "Oh my...What in the seven circles of the Underworld are you up to? This is...unusual...I'm not even fully sure what this is called...A...'hub?'

'Oh a hug!' she wrapped her arms around the kid and he flinched.

"C'mon Kid what's wrong? I won't hit you." she comforted.

"I... I thought you would..." he whispered.

Pandora was taken aback. She wouldn't hit a kid! "Why in Hades would I do that? I mean, for goodness' sake, I may be an evil, irredeemable villain, but I have standards! I won't harm children! Well...not directly, at least..."

"You promise?" he quietly asked.

"Yes little dear. Now are we going to wait here or are we gonna go back to someplace safe?" Pandora asked.

"S-safe?"

*click*

"YOU FREAKS BETTER GET OUT OF MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW!" A shrill voice screamed in her ear.

"Hold on." Pandora snapped her fingers, and the gun Petunia Dursley was holding promptly burst into flames.

Petunia gasped and screamed, before a piece of the ceiling, collapsed, and dropped on her head. Pandora covered the child's eyes as her head splattered. Pandora then turned her remains into dust, slowly and painfully, still covering the childs ears and eyes.

"Come on child. She's gone now. Ready to go?" Pandora asked, scooping him up into her arms.

"Where are w-we going?" he asked meekly.

"Do you want to come stay with me for a while? I just LOVE how cute you are. And I get so lonely. I'll make sure you're well fed and taken care of." she offered. I'll also manage that delicious chaos in your heart, she thought.

"R-really?" he asked. A freak like him was going to... to have a gaurdian?

"Of course hun." she said with a tender and sharp grin.

Harry teared up and nodded.

Pandora smirked with delight. "Wonderful! Perhaps a little company will do me some good! Come now, let us have a feast to commemorate the adoption of...Um...What's your name?"

"H-Harry..."

"To commemorate the adoption of Harry, the son of Chaos!"

"S-son?" he whispered.

"Uh huh!" She answered as she opened a portal through time.

"Does... does that make you my... mommy?" he asked hopefully.

Pandora grinned. "I guess so little Harry!" she said, kissing his head. Harry gasped. "W-what was that?"

"What was what? That kiss?" Pandora asked, turning to look at him. "The kiss was, quite simply, a kiss. It's a...a sign of affection or something mushy like that...It felt rather nice, however, I must admit."

"C-can you... do it again?" he asked, scared he was stepping over the line. His answer came in a wonderful peck on the cheek, causing him to blush and giggle. Pandora smiled and nuzzled him closer. Harry cuddled into the nuzzle. Pandora found herself... enjoying this!

She frowned. "Well this is peculiar...No matter! I'm still pure, unadulterated evil, no amount of cuddling and kissing will every change that!" She nuzzled Harry some more and cooed "Isn't that right, sweetie? Mommy's an evil monster, right?"

"Can I... can I call you mommy?" Harry asked. Pandora grinned and started cooing and nuzzling his face.

"Yes, yes you can call me mommy!" she kissed his face multiple times. Harry fell into an uncontrollable laughing fit.

Pandora felt the slightest pang of unease in her heart. She WAS supposed to be pure evil...

Well, she still was. This child was cute and cuddly, who cared if she wanted to adopt him?

And with that thought in mind she stepped through the portal, disappearing back into her own Prime Time. The little boy found himself exhausted. Pandora grinned, conjuring up a bed in her palace and placing him on it. She slipped into bed as well and hugged him.

"Night little Harry." she whispered, kissing him again.

"Night mommy..." he said as he fell asleep.

Pandora would soon have a nice little boy whom she could raise and love. While still being evil. With that she fell asleep too.

Meanwhile from her palace, a pajama clad goddess and a half asleep angel were NOT amused. Not one bit.