No More Wasted Time, a csi fanfic

This is a one shot song fic. Credit to Carrie Underwood.

"Wasted"

Standing at the back door she tried to make it fast
One tear hit the hardwood, it fell like broken glass
She said sometimes love slips away
And you just can't get it back lets face it
For one split second she almost turned around
But that would be like pouring raindrops back into a cloud
So she took another step and said
I see the way out and I'm gonna take it

"Fuck Vegas." Sara said softly to herself as she let the door close behind her. "Fuck all of it."

Grasping her keys tightly in her hand, she slung the bag over her shoulder and headed down the stairs to her waiting cab. She refused to let any more tears come. The darkness that had threatened to consume her for years was now a black shadow burning a hole in her heart. She was cold and numb, despondent and alone. Her thoughts turned briefly to him as she took a final look over her shoulder at the townhouse they had once called home. It was there that she had once felt safe and warm like a newborn in its mother's arms. But something had happened to take all her happy dreams away and crush them in the dirt. Natalie had come. Hannah had come. Warrick had died. The end had come. For her at least. He didn't understand and she didn't think that he ever would. She had to get away. She had to leave behind all this death and despair. She drew in a deep cleansing breath and swallowed hard.

"God Gil, I love you. I love you so much. I'll miss you." She spoke softly to the air knowing that she could never say those words to his face. As the cab pulled away from the curb she finally released a torrent of tears. Burning, searing their way down her cheeks and dripping off her chin. They soaked her thin white shirt and saturated her neck.

"Where to lady?" The cabbie gruffly asked.

"The airport please." She whispered back. There was no stopping now.

I don't wanna spend my life jaded, waiting
To wake up one day and find
That I let all of these years go by wasted

He swallowed the amber fire once more. The burn temporarily soothed the aching in his chest. There was a raw oozing wound where his heart had once been. Bloodshot eyes stared blankly at the empty bed. He would never sleep there again. Twice. She had left him fucking twice now. Why the hell did he care anymore? He should curse her. He should call her a vile evil bitch and burn the sheets to remove all traces of her DNA from his home. He should cut off their joint credit cards and sell the damn dog just to spite her. He should. But he didn't have the courage. He wanted something tangible to hold onto in case she came back. Again. One more try Gil. You just need one more try. You can hold on. Right? Why was this so damn hard? Why? Why? Why?

"Why did you leave me Sara?" He whispered in between sobs. "I can't do this again. I don't have it in me anymore." He spoke to the empty room.

Hours later Gil rose from the chair stiff and sober. The half- empty bottle lay at his feet. He had drooled on his shirt, and the dog had pissed on the rug.

"Damn." He thought. He stepped around the dog's puddle on his way into the kitchen.

"I've had enough of this shit. I will not wallow in self pity anymore." He yelled to the vacant house. He listened to his voice reverberate off the walls and straightened himself up. She would be his. They would be together. He wanted the happy ever after.

Another glass of whiskey, but it still don't kill the pain
He stumbles to the sink and pours it down the drain
He said it's time to be a man and stop living for yesterday
Gotta face it

I don't wanna spend my life jaded, waiting
To wake up one day and find
That I let all of these years go by wasted
I don't wanna keep on wishing, missing
The still of the morning, the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time wasted

He looked in the mirror and his eyes were clear
For the first time in a while

"I've made a decision. I'm leaving CSI." There. It was said and done. Opinions were spoken and the good-byes were awkward. It was done. There was no cake in the breakroom. No streamers or presents. Just silence. That's how he wanted it.