Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist and it's characters. K?
I suck at making english-paragraph fics. You have been warned! (yes, I'm not encouraging you to read my fic!)
Haha! I knew I was gonna start this someday!
A sorry-excuse for a humor fic. Besides, I really like poking fun of Ed-niisan's height. It's really not that funny, it's actually corny. notices the lack of humor-fics or FMA I was desperate.
My first fic that doesn't have an Al in it! (though he is mentioned.)
Sick of that Height?
Ed noticed these past few days that he haven't been shouting at anyone at HQ lately. He wonders why? It seems so incomplete...
Could it be...? Nobody notices him these days? He MUST do something!
He looked pissed as he enters the East City's HQ, everyone at the Colonel's office looked at Ed, confused. He started to shout, "Why is everyone so quiet lately?"
Everyone except Hawkeye was stunned, "Quiet? What do you mean Edward-kun? We're doing our usual work in the office." she looked at Fullmetal questioningly and continued, "Is there a problem?" she calmly asks.
Ed frowns, "Y'see, 1st Lieutenant, it seems everyone's ignoring me lately! Even I haven't had a shouting contest with the Colonel!..."
"Ah, about that Fullmetal..."
Ed turns to find the said Colonel, an evil smirk plastered on his face as he stood there behind him. "... We just got tired of talking about your height EVERYDAY. So we're thinking of new things to talk about."
The Fullmetal Alchemist's jaw drops, shocked of what he just heard. "You GUYS? Tired of talking about..." he swallows "... my height?That's blasphemy!"
A voice inside the office spoke, "We're planning on talking about Alphonse-kun next, since surely he'll react nicer than his big brother." Havoc explains, snickers were heard from the others.
"What can you guys talk about Al? Besides, has everyone got tired of making fun of me?" Ed asks in disbelief. Everyone nods at the question.
"Uhm... We're just trying to... stay on the safe side. We don't want to get hurt by you, ahehehe," Fury nervously said, trying desperately to sound 'kind'. Ed glares at the timid Fury, who instantly hid behind Hawkeye.
"Hmm..." Farman started, "We usually end up getting hurt whenever the young Fullmetal gets teased of his height. You don't like it right? So we'll might as well stop." he sounded intellectual as he calmly explains to the young Alchemist.
Ed turned his glare to Roy, "What are you people playing?" he shouted.
Roy just shrugs, "We just wanted to stay on your safe side. Just as Farman said, if you don't like it, we'll stop." but Ed didn't like that smug look on Roy's face as he said that.
Something's up.
Breda joins in, "What're you getting yoursef worked up for? Shouldn't you be happy we'll stop talking about how puny you are?..." Havoc nudges his sides, "...Ah, oops, my bad, I didn't mean that," he gave a smile at the young glaring blonde.
Ed's expression changed to a pout and he stood quiet from his position.
"Edward-kun, if it's alright, can you leave us now? We still have work to do." Hawkeye kindly asks as she gently pushes Edward outside.
"Alright!" Ed suddenly bursts. Everyone jumps, surprised.
He was fuming as he shouts "I can't believe everyone doesn't want to notice me now. What? Cause I'm small? You can't see me? Ignoring me is just another insult cause everyone is expressing that Al is more visible than me!..." he stopped his yelling as he realizes that everyone started to laugh, (Hawkeye shook her head and gave a sigh) even Roy was laughing.
"Haha!"
"I told you we can get him confess that he's 'small'!" Roy happily shouted at the people inside the office.
What?
What?
WHAT?
Ed felt that his head was going to explode. Did he just...?
"I won the bet, buddy!" Havoc jabs his best friend, Breda 'hmph-ed', obviously feeling terrible as he gave away his money.
"You GUYS we're trying to..." Ed worded out bit by bit, he couldn't believe that he just said that he's...
He clenched his teeth in anger.
"Fullmetal, it's just for fun!" the Colonel pats Ed's back. "Can't you get used to us, talking about your height?"
Fury hides under the desks, afraid of the getting-angry Edward, "T-take care, everyone!" he squeaks. Hawkeye calmly walks away from Ed's side.
"Fullmetal?" Roy looked at Ed, seeing that he was shaking in anger, Roy tries to walk away a bit but too late...
... "ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME? CALLING ME SMALL, ARE YOU? YOU'RE SO DEAD COLONEL!" the angry Ed tries to lunge at Roy.
"N-no, Fullmetal, it wasn't just my idea!" Roy hurriedly hightails back to his office, but the furious young Alchemist blew the door away and...
... made the Colonel's office go 'BOOM!'
Wakas
Told ya it was a sorry-excuse for a humor-fic. Haha! My aniki will kill me for this! hides inside Al
Thanks for reading at least! Much appreciated.
Salamat!
Pictomancer Murasaki