His greatest fear was not being able to see her smile again. His greatest nightmare was not being able to save her from the inevitable. His greatest failure was not being able to tell her exactly how he felt. His last mistake was trying too hard. His last words fell off his lips like broken glass that crashed upon the floor; 'I'm sorry'...His last memory was the happiest one he had ever had: The moment he met her. His greatest fear was not being able to see her smile...and that's a fear he had to face.
L felt like he was walking into a mirage over and over; repeating what reality had cursed upon him until he gave in and gave up on living. His body stood still, but his thoughts flowed freely into the breeze that brushed gingerly against his cheek. He memorized ever line, every move, every small thing that now meant nothing to him. His bright, obsidian orbs flashed the images against his iris and pupils, revealing a tragic moment that left him stunned. The faint smell of blood that rose in the air caught his attention, grabbed it, and dragged it across the desolate floor. It forced his shaking legs into a room he had never seen before. It revealed to him the truth that he couldn't bear to withstand. It smirked smuggly and stained the carpet crimson. It left him desperate and reduced to nothing, so incomplete and worthless...
He wanted to badly to catch his breath, and not have it hanging like something dead in his chest or in his lungs. He exhaled, almost choking on the wasted air. Fingers shook along with a quivering lip. On his knees, he stared at the girl who lay pale and cold on the hard wood floor. He watched all his love fall along side her body, close in on it, and hold it tight. Fear struck as hard as the panic in his churning stomach did. Nothing about him was calm and secure anymore. The churning in his stomach turned to naseua, and his gut held it no longer.
He gasped, dry-heaving until his lungs gave out.
'HELP!! GOD, HELP ME!!' his thoughts screamed out to him, grasping and longing for an answer.
He placed a hand on her helpless form, finding the hole sunk deep into her flawless skin. Her vivid blue eyes now the dullest, gray-est moonlight blue he had ever seen. He felt more than sick; he was disgusted.
'THAT MONSTER!! HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO HER?!?! WHY!?' the words were compressed on his tongue, held in place and locked their forever. He knew that if he spoke, he would never stop. If he never stopped speaking, he would start to cry. Then, he would never stop crying. The world would move around him, but he would forever be a statue in time, mourning the loss of the one he loved to the deepest content.
"Do you really think he ever loved you...? As much as I do now....?" the whisper was silent, but filled with emotions that no human being had ever comprehended. Her eyes seemed to bore holes in his head, his heart, and the very core of him. It obliterated what he had left of his control, and the spark turned to a bright, burning flame. He dipped his shaken fingertips into the beautiful liquid that still poured from her mouth that hung ajar. He pressed it to his palm, fiercly forcing his nail into the skin.
"Do you think he cared what you felt?! What you knew?! I LOVED YOU FROM THE VERY START, YET YOU THREW IT AWAY FOR THAT SICK, MASOCHISTIC, PSYCHO! How hard do you think this is for me, to see you DEAD?!? HOW?!" ...
She never responded.
L began to cry.
He sobbed, and choked, and whimpered, and begged.
He begged God to bring her back to him, to end all the pain that sturred in his being.
His thoughts stirred about, jumping from memory to memory. The one he remembered the most vibrantly began to replay like an old movie...
Her eyes were painted with purple blotches of bruised skin, burying the beauty of her beautiful blue eyes. She shirt covered every last bit of skin it could, her sleeves rolled down all the way to her palms. Clumps of consealer stuck out on her swollen cheek and beneath would reveal another group of blotchy-purple marks. She starred lifelessly into the space infront of her. Not a single movement was out of place or abnormal. She stayed perfectly still...it scared him to death.
He stalked over to her, studying her deathly-pale features as he did. Not even a glance his way...
"Kitsune...you haven't done a bit of work in the past thirty-two minutes and thirteen seconds. Is something bothering you...?" he mumbled, adding a hint of worry to his tone. She shook her head, black and red hair following her as she did so. A fake smile was plastered on her mouth, forming another lie that she could add to her collection.
"No, L-sama. I'm fine. Thank you for asking," it felt as if she was slicing him right across the chest, then swiftly jerking the knife into his heart. He bled all over the floor, right in front of her, making sure that she noticed. Something played into her eyes, but the hint left as quickly as it arrived.
"Alright...please continue your work, then," the urge to lean in and kiss the consealed cheek was unbearable, but he strayed away from the thought. Instead, he left her there in the dimly lit office, to wollow in her own self-pity. Everyday became another lie, one after the other, that he chose not to break. Maybe she did really love that heartless beast she called a 'husband'...how could he interfere? How...
He took her lifeless hand into his, massaging it with his thumb, a pained smile striking his lips.
"It's going to be okay...I promised, remember? It...it will all end okay," he leaned forward, pressing his lips softly again the dead skin, "I love you, Kitsune..." strands of her hair collected in the blood, the red streaks that already remained were now more vibrant.
"I've always tried to be perfect...just for you. My love made me want to be a better person...I seeked only justice, when what I really wanted was right in front of me, what needed me, cried out. He hit you. He hurt you. He killed you..." he kissed her eyes, and closed them for the last time ever, watching everything he worked for, everything he pursued, fall behind him and die slowly in his arms, "...with his own two hands. No matter what, though...our love will never be destroyed. As long as my exsist is here, nothing will come between you and I," L lifted her into his arms, just like the night that they met, and carried her across the threash-hold.
"Eternity, love...wait for me there, and I promise you I'll be close behind,"...with that ends the night. With that ends her life. With that, he carried on unto eternity with the girl he loved in his arms, and they both smiled. Eternity was perfect as long as they had each other. And that was all that mattered.