The Wicked Idol: THE New Musical
Original Script (c) to the original owner.
Rewritten for American Idol fan-ness by: Dolphiana Krysten Simbashi (It was an idea nagging me and I thought it would really be humorous to have Alexis and Allison go head to head! Enjoy it)
Music
& Lyrics: Still can be by Stephen Schwartz
Book: Still by
Winnie
Holzman
Cast
of Characters:
Allison
Iraheta.............................................(Idol of the
West)
(A)Lexis
Grace...........................................(Idol of the
North)
Jamie 3 ..........................................(Idol of
the East)
Skylari................................................(Scarecrow/
Winkie Prince)
Danny
Gokey..................................................(Tinman/Munchkin)
Tatiana
(Del Toro)................................(Press Secretary/Head of
Idol University AKA: Hollywood University)
Ryan
Seacrest..............................................(Leader of
Idol)
Dr. Lambert......................................(Allison's
Professor/ Goat)
Brian..................................................(Allison's
Father)
Dolphi...............................................(Allison's
Mother)
Lil
Rounds...........................................(Alexis's
Friend)
Megan
Joy................................................(Alexis's
Friend)
Anoop
Desai.............................................(Winged Cat)
Matt
Giraud.........................................(Idol Army
Member)
Tyler................................................(Skylari's
Servant)
Tom
Bergeron.............................................(Lambert's
Replacement)
Ensemble Members Portray Winged Cats, Idols,
Munchkins, and more Idols.
ACT I
[Scene 1 - No One Mourns
The Wicked]
Idols:
GOOD NEWS, SHE'S DEAD!
THE IDOL OF THE
WEST IS DEAD!
THE WICKEDEST IDOL THERE EVER WAS,
THE ENEMY OF
ALL OF US HERE ON AMERICAN IDOL,
IS DEAD! GOOD NEWS! GOOD
NEWS!
Idol: Look, it's Alexis!
Alexis floats in on a giant
bubble.
Alexis: It's good to see me, isn't it? (Idols agree) No
need to respond that was rhetorical. Fellow Idols:
LET US BE GLAD,
LET US BE GRATEFUL,
LET US REJOICIFY THAT GOODNESS COULD
SUBDUE
THE WICKED WORKINGS OF YOU KNOW WHO!
ISN'T IT NICE TO
KNOW
THAT GOOD WILL CONQUER EVIL?
THE TRUTH WE ALL BELIEVE'LL
BY AND BY
OUTLIVE A LIE
FOR YOU AND...
Idol: Alexis! Exactly
how dead is she?
Alexis: Well, there has been much rumor and
speculation... innuendo, outuendo... but let me set the record
straight. According to the Time Dragon Clock, the defeating occurred
at the 13th hour; a direct result of a picture of Adam Lembert seen
by the Crimson Haired girl. Yes, the Wicked Idol of the West is
dead!
Idol:
NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED!
Idol:
NO ONE CRIES
THEY WON'T RETURN!
Idols:
NO ONE LAYS A LILY ON THEIR
GRAVE!
Idol Man:
THE GOOD MAN SCORNS THE WICKED!
Women:
THROUGH
THEIR LIVES OUR CHILDREN LEARN!
Idols:
WHAT WE MISS WHEN WE
MISBEHAVE!
Alexis:
AND GOODNESS KNOWS
THE WICKEDS' LIVES ARE
LONELY
GOODNESS KNOWS
THE WICKED DIE ALONE
IT JUST SHOWS
WHEN YOU'RE WICKED
YOU'RE LEFT ONLY
ON YOUR OWN
Idols:
YES,
GOODNESS KNOWS
THE WICKEDS' LIVES ARE LONELY
GOODNESS KNOWS
THE
WICKED CRY ALONE
NOTHING GROWS FOR THE WICKED
THEY REAP ONLY
WHAT THEY'VE SEWN
Idol: Alexis, why does wickedness
happen?
Alexis: That's a good question; one that many people find
confuzzlifying. Are people born wicked, or do they have wickedness
thrust upon them? After all, she had a childhood; she had a father,
who just happed to be the governor of Munchkinland.
(Allison)
Idol's parents enter.
Brian: I'm off to the assembly,
dear.
Alexis: She had a mother, as so many do...
Brian:
HOW
I HATE TO GO AND LEAVE YOU LONELY
Dolphi:
THAT'S ALRIGHT IT'S
ONLY JUST ONE NIGHT
Brian:
BUT KNOW THAT YOU'RE HERE, IN MY
HEART
WHILE I'M OUT OF YOUR SIGHT!
Brian exits. A lover runs
into the room.
Alexis: And like all families, they had their
secrets.
Lover:
HAVE ANOTHER DRINK, MY YELLOW EYED BEAUTY,
I'VE
GOT ONE MORE NIGHT LEFT HERE IN TOWN,
SO HAVE ANOTHER DRINK OF
CRIMSON ELIXER
AND WE'LL HAVE OURSELVES A LITTLE MIXER
HAVE
ANOTHER LITTLE SWALLOW LITTLE LADY,
AND FOLLOW ME DOWN
Alexis:
And of course, from the moment she was born she was... well...
different!
Dolphi: AHHH!! It's coming!
Brian: Now?
Dolphi:
The baby's coming!
Brian: And how!
Dolphi:
I SEE A
NOSE!
Brian:
I SEE A CURL!
Both:
IT'S A HEALTHY, PERFECT,
LOVELY LITTLE...
(They Scream)
Dolphi: What is it? What's
wrong?
Dolphi:
HOW CAN IT BE?
Brian:
WHAT DOES IT
MEAN?
Dolphi:
IT'S ATTROCIOUS!
Brian:
IT'S
OBSCENE!
Both:
LIKE A BLOODY, EVILLISH CARDINAL,
THE BABY IS
UNATURALLY
CRIMSON HAIRED!!!
Brian: Take it away... Take it
away!!!!
Alexis: So you see, it couldn't have been
easy!
Munchkins:
NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED!
NOW AT LAST,
SHE'S DEAD AND GONE!
NOW AT LAST THERE'S JOY THROUGHOUT THE
LAND!
AND GOODNESS KNOWS (GOODNESS KNOWS)
WE KNOW WHAT GOODNESS
IS (OOOOHHHH)
GOODNESS KNOWS, THE WICKED DIE ALONE (SHE DIED
ALONE)
WOE TO THOSE (WOE TO THOSE)
WHO SPURN WHAT GOODNESSES
THEY ARE SHOWN!
NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED (GOOD NEWS)
NO ONE
MOURNS THE WICKED (GOOD NEWS)
NO ONE MOURNS... THE
WICKED...
WICKED...
WICKED!!!!!
Alexis: Well, this has been
fun! But as you can imagine I have much to attend to, what with
Seacrest's unexpected departure. So, if there are no further
questions...
Idol: Alexis, is it true you were her friend?
Idols
gasp.
Alexis: Well, I... you see... um... yes.
Louder
gasps.
Alexis: Well, it depends on what you mean by "friend".
(She motions her bubble downward.) I did know her. That is, our paths
did cross... at school. But you must understand, it was a long time
ago and we were both very young.
[Scene 2 - Dear old
Hollywood]
Scene fades as Hollywood students appear. Allison
enters with them.
Students:
O, HALLOWED HALLS AND VINE DRAPED
WALLS
THE PROUDLIEST SITE THERE IS.
WHEN GREY AND SEER OUR HAIR
HATH TURNED,
WE SHALL STILL REVERE THE LESSONS LEARNED
IN OUR
DAYS AT DEAR OLD HOLLYWOOD (DEAR OLD HOLLYWOOD)
OUR DAYS AT DEAR
OLD...
Alexis: (Being wheeled in on a big cart filled with
luggage.)
OOOOOOOOOOLD
All:
HOLLYWOODDDDDDDDDDD (DEAR OLD
HOLLYWOODDDDDDDDDDDDDD)
Brian wheels Jamie 3 on stage.
Allison:
What?! What are you looking at? Oh, do I have something in my hair?
Okay, let's get this over with. No, I'm not naturally born this way,
yes, I've always been Crimson Haired though, no, I didn't have a
tomato eating frenzy as a child.
Brian: Allison!
Allison: Oh,
this is my younger sister, Jamie 3. As you can see, she is a
perfectly normal color haired girl.
Brian: Allison, stop making a
spectacle of yourself! I'm only sending you here for one
reason...
Allison: Yes, I know, to look after Jamie 3.
Brian
holds out a box.
Brian: My precious little girl: a parting
gift.
Jamie 3: Now, father... (He pulls silver shoes from the
box.) Jeweled shoes!
Brian: As befits the future governor of
Munchkinland. Allison, take care of your sister. And try not to talk
so much! (He kisses Jamie 3 and exits.)
Jamie 3: Allison
...
Allison: Well what could he have gotten me? I clash with
everything!
Tatiana Del Toro enters.
Tatiana Del Toro:
Welcome, new students! I am Tatiana Del Toro, headmistress here, at
Idol University. And whether you're here to study past song artists,
literature of composers, or idolification, I know I speak for my
fellow faculty members when I say we have nothing but the highest
hopes for some of you. Now, regarding room assignments... (Allison &
Alexis raise their hands. She notices Alexis first.) Yes, is this
regarding room assignments?
Alexis: Oh, Tatiana, thank you for
asking, but I've already been assigned a private suite... (Noticing
her followers' disappointment.) But you can all come visit me
whenever you want!
Lil Rounds: How good of you!
Megan Joy: You
are so good!
Alexis: No I'm not!
Both: Yes you are!
Alexis:
Now stop! (Swishes Her Hair.)
Tatiana Del Toro: Do you have a
question?
Alexis: Yes, you see, I am Alexis Grace of the
Northernlands trying out for American Idol... I've applied to your
singing seminar, and indeed that is my sole purpose of attending
Idol; to study singing with you. Perhaps you recall my voice (Sings
"Jolene").
Tatiana Del Toro: Yes, yes... However, I do
not teach my seminar every semester, unless, of course, somebody
special were to come along.
Alexis: Well, exactly!
Allison: We
have not yet received our room assignments.
Tatiana Del Toro: Yes,
yes, of course! Oh, you must be Miss Jamie 3, the governor's
daughter. What a tragically beautiful face you have! (Sees Allison,
snorts)...And you must be.
Allison: I'm the other daughter.
Allison. I'm beautifully tragic.
Tatiana Del Toro: Yes, yes, I'm
sure you're very bright.
Alexis: Bright? She's phosphorescent.
Tatiana Del Toro: I don't seem to have you on my list. Oh, well a
slight gulch, but not to fret! We'll find someplace to put
you.
Alexis: Y'know, I don't even think she read my essay.
Lil
Rounds: That's so unfair!
Danny: You should say something!
Alexis:
Should I?
Megan Joy: Do it!
Tatiana Del Toro: Now, which one of
you young ladies would like to volunteer to share with Miss Allison?
Alexis: Tatiana Tatiana Del Toro...
Tatiana Del Toro: Thank
you dear. Oh, how very good of you!
Alexis: What?
Tatiana Del
Toro: Miss Allison, you may share with Miss Alexis.
Alexis:
Huh?
Tatiana Del Toro: The governor made his concern for your
sister's well being quite clear. So, I thought it would be best if
she share my private compartment where I can assist her as
needed...
Allison: But Tatiana, I've always looked after my
sister.
Tatiana Del Toro: Everyone, to your dormitories.
Allison:
But Tatiana...
Allison: Let her go!!!
Jamie 3's wheelchair is
torn from Tatiana Del Toro's hands and begins to wheel itself back to
Allison.
Tatiana Del Toro: How did you do that?
Alexis: How did
she do that?
Jamie 3: Allison!
Tatiana Del Toro: You mean this
has happened before?
Allison: Uh... Something just comes over me
sometimes... I'm sorry, Tatiana.
Tatiana Del Toro: What? Never
apologize for talent! Talent is a gift! Have you ever considered a
career in sorcery?
Allison: Sorcery?
Tatiana Del Toro: I shall
tutor you myself, and take no other students.
Alexis: What?
All
students but Alexis exit.
Tatiana Del Toro: Oh, Miss Allison
...
MANY YEARS I HAVE WAITED
FOR A GIFT LIKE YOURS TO
APPEAR
WHY I PREDICT SEACREST COULD MAKE YOU HIS
MAGIC, GRAND
VIZIER!
MY DEAR, MY DEAR,
I'LL WRITE AT ONCE TO SEACREST
TELL
HIM OF YOU IN ADVANCE
WITH A TALENT LIKE YOURS, DEAR, THERE IS
A
DEFIN-ISH CHANCE
IF YOU WORK AS YOU SHOULD
YOU'LL BE MAKING
GOOD
Alexis: Tatiana Del Toro...
Tatiana Del Toro: No, not now
dearest.
She
exits.
Alexis: This will just make me a better person. (She
simles.)
She runs off.
[Scene 3 - Seacrest &
I]
Allison:
DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN?
HAVE I ACTUALLY
UNDERSTOOD?
THIS WEIRD QUIRK I'VE TRIED TO SURPRESS OR HIDE
IS
A TALENT THAT COULD HELP ME MEET THE SEACREST
IF I MAKE GOOD
SO
I'LL MAKE GOOD.
WHEN I MEET SEACREST,
ONCE I PROVE MY
WORTH,
AND THEN I MEET SEACREST,
WHAT I'VE WAITED FOR
SINCE
SINCE BIRTH!
AND WITH ALL HIS SEACREST WISDOM
BY MY
LOOKS HE WON'T BE BLINDED
DO YOU THINK THE SEACREST IS DUMB?
OR
LIKE MUNCHKINS SO SMALL-MINDED? NO!
HE'LL SAY TO ME "I SEE
WHO YOU TRULY ARE,
A GIRL ON WHOM I CAN RELY"
AND THAT'S
HOW WE'LL BEGIN,
SEACREST AND I
ONCE I'M WITH SEACREST,
MY
WHOLE LIFE WILL CHANGE,
'CUZ ONCE YOU'RE WITH SEACREST
NO ONE
THINKS YOU'RE STRANGE
NO FATHER IS NOT PROUD OF YOU,
NO SISTER
ACTS ASHAMED,
AND ALL OF AMERICAN IDOL HAS TO LOVE YOU
WHEN BY
SEACREST YOU'RE ACLAIMED
AND THIS GIFT OR THIS CURSE
THAT I
HAVE INSIDE
MAYBE AT LAST I'LL KNOW WHY
WHEN WE ARE HAND IN
HAND,
SEACREST AND I
AND ONE DAY HE'LL SAY TO ME, "ALLISON
,
A GIRL WHO IS SO SUPERIOR,
SHOULDN'T A GIRL WHO'S SO GOOD
INSIDE
HAVE A MATCHING EXTERIOR?
AND SINCE FOLKS HERE TO AN
OBSURED DEGREE
SEEM FIXATED ON YOUR VERDEGRIS
WOULD IT BE
ALRIGHT BY YOU
IF I DE-CRIMSON HAIRED-IFY YOU?"
AND OF
COURSE THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT TO ME
"ALRIGHT! WHY NOT?"
I'LL REPLY
OH, WHAT A PAIR WE'LL BE
SEACREST AND I
YES, WHAT
A PAIR WE'LL BE
SEACREST AND...
UNLIMITED, MY FUTURE IS
UNLIMITED
AND I'VE JUST HAD A VISION ALMOST LIKE A PROPHECY
I
KNOW
IT SOUNDS TRULY CRAZY
AND TRUE, THE VISION'S HAZY
BUT I
SWEAR SOME DAY THERE'LL BE
A CELEBRATION THROUGHOUT
HOLLYWOOD
THAT'S ALL TO DO
WITH ME!
AND I'LL STAND THERE
WITH SEACREST
FEELING THINGS I'VE NEVER FELT
AND THOUGH I'D
NEVER SHOW IT
I'D BE SO HAPPY I COULD MELT!
AND SO IT WILL BE
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
AND I'LL WANT NOTHING ELSE 'TILL I
DIE
HELD IN SUCH HIGH ESTEEM!
WHEN PEOPLE SEE ME THEY WILL
SCREAM
FOR HALF OF HOLLYWOOD'S FAVORITE TEAM:
SEACREST...
AND
I!!!!
[Scene 4 - What Is This Feeling?]
Alexis: Dearest,
Darlingest Momsy and Popsicle...
Allison: My dear
father...
Both:
THERE'S BEEN SOME CONFUSION OVER ROOMING HERE
AT IDOL
Allison:
BUT, OF COURSE, I'LL CARE FOR JAMIE
...
Alexis:
BUT, OF COURSE, I'LL RISE ABOVE IT...
Both:
FOR
I KNOW THAT'S HOW YOU'D WANT ME TO RESPOND
Yes...
THERE'S BEEN
SOME CONFUSION FOR YOU SEE MY ROOMATE IS...
Alexis:
UNUSUALLY,
AND EXCEEDLINGLY PECULIAR AND ALTOGETHER QUITE IMPOSSIBLE TO
DESCRIBE...
Allison: Blonde.
Alexis:
WHAT IS THIS FEELING,
SO SUDDEN AND NEW?
Allison:
I FELT THE MOMENT I LAID EYES ON
YOU!
Alexis:
MY PULSE IS RUSHING...
Allison:
MY HEAD IS
REELING...
Alexis:
MY FACE IS FLUSHING...
Both:
WHAT IS
THIS FEELING?
FERVID AS A FLAME,
DOES IT HAVE A
NAME?
YES...
LOATHING!
UNADULTERATED LOATHING!
Alexis:
FOR
YOUR HAIR
Allison:
YOUR VOICE
Alexis:
YOUR
CLOTHING
Both:
LET'S JUST SAY...
I LOATHE IT ALL!
EVERY
LITTLE TRAIT HOWEVER SMALL
MAKES MY VERY FLESH BEGIN TO CRAWL
WITH
SIMPLE, UTTER LOATHING
THERE'S A STRANGE EXHILARTION
IN SUCH
TOTAL DETESTATION
IT'S SO PURE, SO STRONG!
THOUGH, I DO ADMIT
IT CAME ON FAST,
STILL I DO BELIEVE THAT IT CAN LAST!
AND I
WILL BE LOATHING, LOATHING YOU
MY WHOLE LIFE LONG!
Students:
DEAR
ALEXIS, YOU ARE JUST TOO GOOD!
HOW DO YOU STAND IT, I DON'T THINK
I COULD!
SHE'S A TERROR! SHE'S A TARTAR!
WE DON'T MEAN TO SHOW
A BIAS,
BUT ALEXIS, YOU'RE A MARTAR!
Alexis: Well...
THESE
THINGS ARE SENT TO TRY US!
Students:
POOR ALEXIS FORCED TO
RESIDE
WITH SOMEONE SO DISGUSTICIFIED
WE JUST WANT TO TELL
YOU
WE'RE ALL ON YOUR SIDE!
Students: WE SHARE YOURE LOATHING,
UNALDULTERATED LOATHING...
Both: WHAT IS THIS FEELING SO SUDDEN
AND NEW?
Students: FOR HER HAIR, HER VOICE, HER CLOTHING...
Both:
I FELT THE MOMENT I LAID EYES ON YOU...
Students: LET'S JUST
SAY...
Both: MY PULSE IS RUSHING, MY HEAD IS REELING...
Students:
WE LOATHE IT ALL!
Both: OH WHAT IS THIS FEELING?
Students:
EVERY LITTLE TRAIT HOWEVER SMALL...
Both: DOES IT HAVE A
NAME?
Students: MAKES OUR VERY FLESH BEGIN TO CRAWL...
Both:
YES...
All: AHHHH!!!
Students: ............LOATHING!
Both:
LOATHING!
Students:
................................................ LOATHING!
Both:
THERE'S A STRANGE EXILHARATION
Students:
....................................... LOATHING!
Both: IN SUCH
TOTAL DETESTATION
Students:
....................................... SO STRONG!
Both: IT'S SO
PURE, IT'S SO STRONG!!!
Both:
THOUGH I DO ADMIT IT CAME ON
FAST,
STILL I DO BELIEVE THAT IT CAN LAST,
Students:
................. LOATHING
Both: AND I WILL BE LOATHING,
FOR-FOREVER
Students: LOATHING................... LOATHING.......
LOATHING YOU!
Both: LOATHING, TRULY, DEEPLY LOATHING
YOU!
Students: ............................ LOATHING,
UNADULTERATED LOATHING!!!
Both: MY WHOLE LIFE LONG!!!!
Allison:
Boo!
Alexis: Ahh!
Allison: Hahahaha!
[Scene 5 - Dr.
Lambert's Class]
The students are in desks as Lambert
arrives.
Lambert: Settle down, now! I have read your most recent
essays. And I am amazed to report the progress! Although, some of us
still tend to favor form over content... Ms. Lexis.
Alexis: It's
Alexis.
Lambert: Excuse me... Alexis.
Alexis: I really don't
see what the problem is. Every other Professor seems to be able to
pronounce my name.
Allison: Maybe pronouncing your precious name
isn't the sole purpose of Doctor Lambert's life. Maybe he's not like
every other Professor. Maybe some of us are different.
Alexis: Oh!
It seems the tomato is steamed.
Lambert: Class, class! Miss
Allison has a point! As you know, I am the sole Animal on the
faculty. The token Goat, as it were. But it wasn't always this way.
Oh, dear students, how I wish you could have seen it as it once was.
Where you could walk down the halls and see an antelope explicating a
sonnet, a snow leopard solving an equation, a wildebeast waxing
philosophic. Don't you see, dear students, how our dear American Idol
is becoming less and less...looks at Allison ... colorful. Now, who
can tell me what sent these events into motion?
Allison: (Raises
hand) From what I've heard, it all started with the great
drought.
Lambert: Exactly. Food grew scarce, people grew hungrier
and angrier. And the question became "Whom can we blame?"
Can anyone tell me what is meant by the term "Scapegoat"?
(Allison raises hand) Someone besides Miss Allison? Ah yes, Miss
Lexis...
Alexis: It's Alexis... with a GA. I don't see why you
can't just teach us history instead of always harping on the
past.
Lambert: Well, perhaps these questions will enlighten you...
(walks over to the chalk board and turns it over. On it is written:
ANIMALS SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD.) Who is responsible for this?
I'm waiting for answer... Very well, that will be all for today...
You heard me, class dismissed!!!
All students exit except Allison
& Jamie 3. Lambert has his back turned to her.
Allison: You go
on ahead, Jamie .
Jamie 3 exits.
Allison: (Reading the board
aloud.) "Animals should be seen and not heard..."
Lambert:
Oh, Miss Allison, don't worry about me, go along and enjoy your
friends.
Allison: Oh that's alright, I have no friends. Would you
like to share my lunch?
Lambert: Oh, thank you! How kind.
She
pulls out a candy bar and unwraps it. He takes the paper and begins
to eat it. He sees the board.
Lambert: I seem to have lost my
appetite.
Allison: You shouldn't let statements like that bother
you. I mean, I always do, but you shouldn't.
Lambert: Oh Miss
Allison, if it were only a matter of words on a chalkboard. But the
things one hears these days... dreadful things! Miss Allison
...
[Scene 6 - Something Bad]
I'VE HEARD OF AN OX, A
PROFESSOR FROM QUOX
NO LONG PERMITTED TO TEACH,
WHO HAS LOST
ALL POWERS OF SPEECH.
AND AN OWL IN MUNCHKIN ROCK
A VICAR WITH
A THRIVING FLOCK
FORBIDDEN TO PREACH
NOW HE ONLY CAN
SCREECH!
ONLY RUMORS, BUT STILL, ENOUGH TO GIVE PAUSE
TO ANYONE
WITH PAWS
SOMETHING BAD IS HAPPENING ON AMERICAN IDOL
Allison
:
SOMETHING BAD?
HAPPENING ON AMERICAN IDOL?
Lambert:
UNDER
THE SURFACE
BEHIND THE SCENES
SOMETHING BAAAAAH...
Sorry,
bad...
Allison: Dr. Lambert, are you alright? Shall I fetch you a
glass of water?
Lambert: No, I don't know what came over
me.
Allison: So, you're saying that there are animals that have,
somehow, forgotten how to speak? But, how is that possible?
Lambert:
Well, with so much pressure not to...
Tatiana Del Toro
Enters.
Tatiana Del Toro: I heard there was some sort of
disturburance in class. Are you alright, Doctor? Oh, Miss Allison,
you're still here! I thought you would have been on your way to my
seminar by now.
Allison: Yes Tatiana, ordinarily I would be
but...
Tatiana Del Toro: But what? I do hope I have not misplaced
my trust in you. Singing is a very demanderating mistress, and if one
has ambitions of meeting Seacrest. I'm sure Doctor Lambert sees my
point.
Tatiana Del Toro exits.
Allison: I'd better go. Doctor
Lambert, if something bad is happening to the animals then someone
has to tell Seacrest. That's why we have Seacrest!
SO NOTHING
BAD
Both:
NOTHNG ALL THAT BAD
Lambert:
NOTHING TRULY
BAAAAHHH...
Sorry... Bad.
Allison:
IT COULDN'T HAPPEN
HERE,
ON IDOL...
[Scene 7 - Skylari]
Skylari & Tyler
enter.
Tyler: Here we are, sir! Idol University!
Skylari: What?
Already?
Tyler: Yes, sir.
Skylari: What a shame. Well, we'll
see you soon, Tyler. Don't worry, I won't last longer at this school
than I did at any of the others.
Tyler exits.
Danny: Uh, miss
Alexis, I know I'm just a munchkin, but munchkins have feelings too,
and I've been trying to tell you mine, for you. But sometimes it
seems like you don't even know I'm there.
Alexis: That's not true,
Dan.
Danny: It's Danny.
Alexis: Dan, do you know who that is?
That's Skylari Malesa, tha Winkie Prince whose reputation is so
scandalacious!
Danny looks disgusted. Skylari walks toward them.
Alexis swishes her hair. Skylari, noticing her strange behavior, does
the same.
Alexis: To Skylari. Were you looking for something or
someone?
Skylari: Uhhh yea... history... class? I don't know...
somewhere?
Danny: History building is way over there my
friend...
Alexis: That class just ended!
Skylari: Oh! Perfect
timing! So, uh, what does one do for fun around here?
Alexis:
Nothing really... until now...
Danny: We've been
studying!
Skylari: Well, I see that once again the responsibility
to corrupt my fellow students falls to me. Fortunately, I'm up for
the task.
[Scene 8 - Dancing Through Life]
Skylari:
THE
TROUBLE WITH SCHOOLS IS
THEY ALWAYS TRY TO TEACH THE WRONG
LESSON
BELIEVE ME, I'VE BEEN KICKED OUT OF ENOUGH OF THEM TO
KNOW!
THEY WANT YOU TO BECOME LESS CALLOW, LESS SHALLOW,
BUT I
SAY WHY INVITE STRESS IN?
STOP STUDYING STRIFE
AND LEARN TO
LIVE
THE UNEXAMINED LIFE...
DANCIN' THROUGH LIFE
SKIMMING
THE SURFACE
GLIDING WHERE TURF IS SMOOTH
LIFE IS PAINLESS FOR
THE BRAINLESS
THOSE WHO DON'T TRY, NEVER LOOK FOOLISH
DANCING
THROUGH LIFE
NO NEED TO TOUGH IT
WHEN YOU CAN SLUFF IT OFF AS I
DO
NOTHING MATTERS, BUT KNOWING NOTHING MATTERS
IT'S JUST LIFE,
SO KEEP DANCING THROUGH
DANCING THROUGH LIFE
SWAYING AND
SWEEPING
AND ALWAYS KEEPING COOL
LIFE IS FRAUGHTLESS
WHEN
YOU'RE THOUGHTLESS
THOSE WHO DON'T TRY
NEVER LOOK
FOOLISH
DANCING THROUGH LIFE
MINDLESS AND CARELESS
MAKE SURE
YOU'RE WHERE LESS TROUBLE IS RIFE
WHOES ARE FLEETING
BLOWS ARE
GLANCING
WHEN YOU'RE DANCING
THROUGH LIFE!
So! What's the
most swankified place in town?
Alexis: That would be the Idol-ish
Ballroom!
Skylari: Sounds perfect!
LET'S GO DOWN TO THE
IDOL-ISH BALLROOM
WE'LL MEET THERE LATER TONIGHT
WE CAN DANCE
'TIL IT'S LIGHT
FIND THE PRETTIEST GIRL
GIVE HER A WHIRL!
RIGHT
ON DOWN TO THE IDOL-ISH BALLROOM
COME ON FOLLOW ME!
YOU'LL BE
HAPPY TO BE THERE
Students:
DANCIN' THROUGH LIFE, DOWN AT THE
IDOL-ISH (LIFE!)
Skylari:
IF ONLY BECAUSE DUST IS WHAT WE COME
TO!
Students:
NOTHIN' MATTERS, BUT KNOWING NOTHING
MATTERS
IT'S JUST LIFE!!!
Skylari:
SO KEEP DANCING
THROUGH...
Danny: Miss Alexis? I hope you'll save at least one
dance for me. I'll be waiting right there, right by your side,
waiting, all night.
Alexis: Oh, how very kind, Dan.
Danny: ...
Danny ...
Alexis: But, do you know what would be even kinder?
SEE
THAT TRAGICALLY BEAUTIFUL GIRL?
THE ONE IN THE CHAIR?
IT SEEMS
SO UNFAIR
WE SHOULD GO ON A SPREE
AND NOT SHE, GEE
I KNOW
SOMEONE WOULD BE MY HERO
IF THAT SOMEONE WERE
TO GO INVITE
HER!
Danny: Well, maybe I could invite her!
Alexis:
OH, DAN,
REALLY?
YOU WOULD DO THAT FOR ME?
Danny: I would do anything
for you, Miss Alexis. (Walks over to Jamie 3.) Excuse me, Miss Jamie
3? There's something I'd like to ask you...
Skylari: (To Alexis.)
You're good.
Alexis: I don't know what you mean. But I do happen
to be free tonight, so...
Skylari: So, I'll be picking you up
around eight?
Alexis: After all...
NOW THAT WE'VE MET ONE
ANOTHER,
Both:
IT'S CLEAR WE DESERVE EACHOTHER!
Alexis:
You're perfect!
Skylari: You're perfect!
Both:
SO WE'RE
PERFECT TOGETHER
BORN TO BE FOREVER
DANCING THROUGH LIFE!!!
The
scene fades to Allison and Jamie 3.
Allison: It's absurd! This
silly, rich boy appears and everyone's off to worship him and some
cultish social gathering!
Jamie 3: Even me! I'm going! Isn't it
wonderful? Danny was too shy to ask me at first, but once Alexis
encouraged him...
Allison: Alexis?!
Jamie 3: Don't you dare say
another word against her! I'm about to have the first happy night of
my life all thanks to Alexis!
FINALLY FOR THIS ONE NIGHT,
I'M
ABOUT TO HAVE A FUN NIGHT
WITH THIS MUNCHKIN BOY ALEXIS FOUND FOR
ME
AND I ONLY WISH THERE WERE
SOMETHING I COULD DO FOR HER TO
REPAY HER
ALLISON SEE...
WE DESERVE EACHOTHER AND ALEXIS
HELPED IT COME TRUE
WE DESERVE EACHOTHER, ME AND DANNY
Please,
Allison, try to understand.
Allison: I do...
The scene changes
to Alexis, Lil Rounds, & Megan Joy. Allison remains on the other
side of the stage.
Alexis: Now I must accessorize myself for
Skylari.
Lil Rounds pulls the Idol's hat out of one of Alexis's
hat boxes.
Megan Joy: Alexis, what in American Idol's
name!?
Alexis: Now, just pretend you didn't see that. My granny is
always giving me the most hideodeous hats. I'd give it away, but I
don't hate anyone that much.
Lil Rounds: Yes you do!
Megan Joy:
Give it to her! Just do it!
They all stare at Allison. Alexis
walks forward, meeting Allison half way.
Allison: Alexis, listen,
Jamie and I were talking about you just now...
Alexis: And I was
just talking about you! I thought you might want to wear this hat to
the party tonight! (Gives her the hat.)
IT'S REALLY... UH...
SHARP!
DON'T YOU THINK?
Y'KNOW BLACK, IS THIS YEAR'S PINK!
YOU
DESERVE EACH OTHER,
THIS HAT AND YOU,
YOU'RE BOTH SO...
SMART!
YOU DESERVE EACHOTHER, SO HERE!
OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF
MY HEART!
Alexis runs off. Allison laughs at the sight of the hat.
She exits.. The students enter and dance. When this is done, Danny
and Jamie 3 appear, awkwardly holding hands.
Jamie 3: What's in
the punch?
Danny: Lemons, and melons, and pears!
Jamie 3: Oh
my!
Danny:
LISTEN JAMIE ...
Jamie 3: Yes?
Danny:
UH,
JAMIE ...
I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO CONFESS A
REASON WHY, WELL, WHY
I ASKED YOU HERE TONIGHT...
NOW, I KNOW IT ISN'T FAIR.
Jamie 3:
Oh, Danny, I know why.
Danny: You do?
Jamie 3:
IT'S BECAUSE
I'M IN THIS CHAIR, AND YOU FELT SORRY FOR ME...
WELL, ISN'T THAT
RIGHT?
Danny: No... it's because... uh... because...
BECAUSE
YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL!
Jamie 3: Oh, Danny!
I THINK YOU'RE
WONDERFUL!
AND WE DESERVE EACH OTHER, DON'T YOU SEE THIS IS OUR
CHANCE?
WE DESERVE EACH OTHER, DON'T WE DANNY?
Danny: You know
what? Let's dance!
Jamie 3: What?
Danny:
LET'S DANCE!
They
dance, as well as the others around them. Finally, Tatiana Del Toro
runs up to Alexis.
Tatiana Del Toro: Oh, Miss Grace?
Alexis:
Tatiana Del Toro... What are you doing here?
Tatiana Del Toro: I
have something for you. (She hands her a sparkly microphone.)
Alexis:
Gasps. Tatiana... a sparkly microphone... How can I ever express my
graditution?
Tatiana Del Toro: Oh, don't thank me! This was your
roommate's idea, not mine.
Alexis: What? Allison?
Tatiana Del
Toro: Miss Allison requested that I include you in singing class. She
insisted I tell you this very night or she would quit the seminar.
Alexis: But... why?
Tatiana Del Toro: I have no idea. My
personal opinion is you do not have what it takes. I hope you'll
prove me wrong... I doubt you will.
She leaves. Skylari comes up
to Alexis.
Skylari: What is it?
Alexis: I got what I
wanted...
Skylari: Then what's the matter?
Alexis:
Nothing...
Skylari: Good. Let's dance...
They begin to dance as
Allison walks in, wearing her "Pebbles" outfit. They stop as all
the students gasp and make comments about the way she is dressed.
People then start laughing.
Skylari: Who in Hollywood is
this?
Alexis: My roommate... please, don't ... stare!
Skylari:
How can you help it?
Allison takes off the hat, noticing the
comments. She waits, then puts it back on and begins to dance. She is
Alone. There is no music.
Skylari: Well I'll say this, she doesn't
give a vibrato about what anyone else thinks.
Alexis: Of course
does, she just pretends not to... I feel awful...
Skylari: Why?
It's not like it's your fault.
Alexis: Excuse me... (She walks
over to Allison and clears her throat.) May I cut in?
(Alexis
begins dancing just as horribly. The students now accept it, and
begin to dance again as the music starts.)
All:
DANCING THROUGH
LIFE, DOWN AT THE IDOL-ISH
IF ONLY BECAUSE DUST IS WHAT WE COME
TO
AND THE STRANGE THING, YOUR LIFE COULD END UP CHANGING
WHILE
YOU'RE DANCING THROUGH
[Scene 9 - Sharing Secrets]
Allison
& Alexis barge into their suite... Alexis is in
hysterics.
Alexis: Your very first party ever?! Your very first
party! Oh I know! Let's tell each other something we've never told
anyone... I'll go first: Skylari and I are going to be married
(squeals).
Allison: Really? He's asked you already?
Alexis: No,
he doesn't know yet... Now, you tell me a secret.
Allison: Like
what?
Alexis: Like... Why do you always sleep with this funny,
little, Crimson bottle under your pillow? Grabs the bottle.
Allison:
Give that back.
Alexis: C'mon, tell me. Tell me tell me!
Allison:
It was my mother's! That's all...
Silence.
Alexis: (Hands her
the bottle.) It's not fair. I told you a really good one.
Allison:
My father hates me.
Alexis: Gasps.
Allison: No, that's not the
secret. It's my fault...
Alexis: What is?
Allison: ... that my
sister is the way she is. . Pause. You see, when my mother was
carrying Jamie, my father was worried that the new baby might come
out...
Both: Crimson Haired.
Allison: So he made my mother chew
chocolate flowers, day and night. But that made Jamie come too soon,
with her little legs all tangled. And my mother never woke up. None
of which ever would have happened if not for me.
Alexis: But that
was the chocolate flowers fault, not yours. That may be your secret,
Allison, but that doesn't make it true. Oh look, it's tomorrow!
Alli... do you mind if I call you Alli?
Allison: Well, it's a
little perky.
Alexis: And you can call me... Lexi. So….Alli...
now that we're friends, I've decided to make you my new
project!
Allison: You really don't have to do that.
Alexis: I
know, that's what makes me so nice!
[Scene 10 -
Popular]
Alexis:
WHENEVER I SEE SOMEONE LESS FORTUNATE THAN
I
AND LET'S FACE IT... WHO ISN'T
LESS FORTUNATE THAN I?
MY
TENDER HEART TENDS TO START TO BLEED
AND WHEN SOMEONE NEEDS A
MAKEOVER
I SIMPLY HAVE TO TAKEOVER
I KNOW I KNOW
EXACTLY
WHAT THEY NEED
AND EVEN IN YOUR CASE...
THOUGH IT'S THE
TOUGHEST CASE I'VE YET TO FACE!
DON'T WORRY! I'M DETERMINED TO
SUCCEED
FOLLOW MY LEAD
AND YES
INDEED
YOU
WILL
BE...
POPULAR!
YOU'RE GONNA BE
POPULAR
I'LL TEACH THE PROPER PLOYS
WHEN YOU TALK TO
BOYS
LITTLE WAYS TO FLIRT AND FLOUNCE (SQUEALS)
I'LL SHOW YOU
WHAT SHOES TO WEAR
HOW TO FIX YOUR HAIR
EVERYTHING THAT REALLY
COUNTS TO BE POPULAR
I KNOW ABOUT POPULAR
AND WITH AN ASSIST
FROM ME
TO BE WHO YOU'LL BE
INSTEAD OF DREARY WHO YOU
WERE...
WELL ARE...
THERE'S NOTHING THAT CAN STOP YOU
FROM
BECOMING POPULER...
LAR!
LA LA LA LA
WE'RE GONNA MAKE YOU
POPULAR!
WHEN I SEE DEPRESSING CREATURES
WITH UNPREPOSSESSING
FEATURES,
I REMIND THEM ON THEIR OWN BEHALF
TO THINK
OF
CELEBRATED HEADS OF STATE
OR ESPECIALLY GREAT
COMMUNICATORS
DID THEY HAVE BRAINS OR KNOWLEDGE?
DON'T MAKE ME
LAUGH!
THEY WERE POPULAR
PLEASE, IT'S ALL ABOUT POPULAR
IT'S
NOT ABOUT APTITUDE
IT'S THE WAY YOU'RE VIEWED
SO IT'S VERY
SHREWD TO BE
VERY VERY POPULAR
LIKE ME!
Allison: This is
never going to work!
Alexis: Oh Alli, you mustn't think that way
anymore! Your whole life is going to change... and all because of me.
Okay, stand... I will turn your frock into a beautiful ball gown
through the magic of singing! Stand up... (She picks up her
microphone and taps it, then sings into it.) Ball gown!!! (Nothing
happens, so she repeats. Ball gown!!! Still nothing happens. She taps
her microphone on the bed.) Is this thing on?
Allison: Do you want
me to try?
Alexis: No, I've got it! (She throws the microphone
down.) Oh, just wear the frock... it's pretty! Now, I'll show you how
to flip your hair: Flip flip. Or you could use your hand.
(Demonstrates.) Or, you can use your whole body. (Falls onto bed.
Squeals.) Now, for the finishing touch. (Takes the red flower out of
her hair, puts it into Allison 's.) Why, Miss Allison, look at you,
you're beautiful. (Hands her the mirror.)
Allison: (After looking
in the mirror.) I... I have to go.
She runs off.
Alexis:
You're Welcome! (She admires herself in the mirror.)
AND THOUGH
YOU PROTEST
YOUR DISINTEREST,
I KNOW CLANDESTINELY...
YOU'RE
GONNA GRIN AND BEAR IT
YOUR NEW FOUND POPULARITY! (SQUEALS)
LA
LA LA LA
YOU'LL BE POPULAR!
JUST NOT QUITE AS POPULAR
AS
ME!!!
[Scene 11 - The Lion Cub]
The students are in Dr.
Lambert's class in desks. Allison walks in outrageously
dressed.
Allison: (Flips her hair).. Flip Flip! What?
Skylari:
Nothing, it's just... you've been "Alexis-fied". You don't
have to do that, you know?
Lambert: Alright, take your seats,
class! I have something to say, and very little time to say it. This
is my last day here at Idol I am no longer permitted to teach. I want
to thank you for your sharing your enthusiasm, your essays, no matter
how feebly structured, and even, on occasion, your lunch.
Tatiana
Del Toro rushes in.
Tatiana Del Toro: Doctor Lambert! I'm so
dreadfully sorry.
Allison: Tatiana, we've got to do
something.
Lambert: Miss Allison, they can take away my job, but I
shall continue speaking out.
Scientist: Come on, goat...
Two
men begin to carry him out of the room.
Lambert: They are not
telling you the whole story! Remember that, class! Remember that.
He
is gone.
Allison: Doctor Lambert! (After a pause.) Well, are you
just going to sit here in silence?
Tatiana Del Toro: Miss Allison,
there is nothing we can do. Please take your seat.
Bergeron: Good
afternoon, students!
Tatiana Del Toro: Good afternoon.
Bergeron:
Every day, with every tick of the Time Dragon Clock, in every corner
of our great Hollywood, one hears the silence of progress. For
example: this is called a cage!
He points to a cage with a cloth
draped over it. He pulls off the cloth, revealing a lion cub inside.
Bergeron: Now, we will be seeing more and more of them in the
near future. This remarkable innovation is actually for the Animal's
own good...
Allison: If this is for his own good, then why is he
trembling?
Bergeron: He's just excited to be here, that's all.
(Hits the cage.) Now, as I was saying, one of the benefits of caging
a Lion cub while he's young is that he never, in fact, will learn how
to speak.
Allison: What?
He motions the students forward,
toward the cage.
Bergeron: That's right! Come closer!
Allison:
(To Skylari.) Can you imagine a world where Animals are kept in cages
and they never speak?
Bergeron: Now, he may seem a bit agitated
but that's easily remedied.
Allison: What should I do?
Skylari:
I don't know.
Allison: Well, somebody has to... Do
something!!!
Sparks begin to fly everywhere. All students &
Tom Bergeron are moving uncontrollably except Skylari and Allison.
Skylari: What's happening?
Allison: I don't know I got
mad...and….
Skylari: Alright just don't move! And don't get mad
at me... (He grabs the cage.) Well are you coming?
She runs with
him after he snatches the lion cub.
Allison: Careful! Don't shake
him!
Skylari: I'm not!
Allison: We can't just let him loose
anywhere, you know. We have to find someplace safe...
Skylari:
Don't you think that I realize that? You must think I'm really stupid
or something!
Allison: No, not really stupid.
Skylari: Why is
it that every time I see you, you're causing some sort of
commotion?
Allison: I don't cause commotions, I am one.
Skylari:
That's for sure.
Allison: Oh! So you think I should just keep my
mouth shut! Is that what you're saying?
Skylari: No,
I'm...
Allison: Do you think I want to be this way? Do you think I
want to care this much? Don't you know how much easier my life would
be if I didn't?
Skylari: Do you ever let anyone else
talk?
Allison: Oh, sorry... But can I just say one more thing? You
could have just walked away back there.
Skylari: So?
Allison:
So, no matter how shallow and self-absorbed you tend to
be...
Skylari: Excuse me, there's no pretense here. I happen to be
genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow.
Allison: No you're
not. Or you wouldn't be so unhappy.
Skylari: Fine, if you don't
want my help...
Allison: No, I do! Poor little thing, it's heart
is trembling... I didn't mean for...
Skylari: What did you mean to
do? Why was I the only one you didn't do it to?
Allison: Oh look,
you're bleeding... it must have scratched you. (Referring to a cut on
his face.)
Skylari: Yea... or maybe it scratched me. I better get
to safety... I mean the cub... get the cub to safety. (He walks
off.)
Allison: Skylari...
[Scene 12 - I'm Not That
Girl]
Allison :
HANDS TOUCH
EYES MEET
SUDDEN
SILENCE
SUDDEN HEAT
HEARTS LEAP IN A GIDDY WHIRL
HE COULD BE
THAT BOY
BUT I'M NOT THAT GIRL
DON'T DREAM TOO FAR
DON'T
LOSE SIGHT OF
WHO YOU ARE
DON'T REMEMBER THAT RUSH OF JOY
HE
COULD BE THAT BOY
BUT I'M NOT THAT GIRL
EVERY SO OFTEN
WE
LONG TO STEAL
TO THE LAND OF "WHAT-MIGHT-HAVE-BEEN"
BUT
THAT DOESN'T SOFTEN THE ACHE WE FEEL
WHEN REALITY SETS BACK
IN
BLITHE SMILE, LITHE LIMB
SHE WHO'S WINSOME, SHE WINS
HIM
GOLD HAIR WITH A GENTLE CURL
THAT'S THE GIRL HE CHOSE
AND
HEAVEN KNOWS
I'M NOT THAT GIRL
DON'T WISH
DON'T
START
WISHING ONLY WOUNDS THE HEART
I WASN'T BORN FOR THE ROSE
AND PEARL
THERE'S A GIRL I KNOW
HE LOVES HER SO
I'M NOT THAT
GIRL...
[Scene 13 - To Seacrest]
Tatiana Del Toro enters.
She is carrying an umbrella and holds it over Allison to protect her
from the rain.
Tatiana Del Toro: Miss Allison, there you
are!
Allison: Tatiana Del Toro...
Tatiana Del Toro: Oh Miss
Allison, I finally heard back from Seacrest!
Allison: Seacrest?
Tatiana Del Toro: Yes, he wishes to meet you!
Allison: He
asked for me?
Tatiana Del Toro: Yes! I know how devastated you
were the other day for our poor Doctor Lambert, but I can assure you
my dear, as one door closes, another one opens. (She hands her a
Crimson colored envelope.)
Allison: Tatiana, I don't know what to
say! How can I ever thank you? (She hugs her.)
Tatiana Del Toro:
Oh careful dear, you musn't get wet (She places the umbrella back
over Allison's head.) Oh, I know! (She waves her hands and the sun
comes out.) Didn't I tell you? Weather is my specialty. Idol-speed,
my dear! Make me proud.
Allison: I will, I'll try.
Tatiana Del
Toro exits.
Allison:
AND THERE WE'LL FINALLY BE
SEACREST
AND I...
The scene reopens at a train station.
Conductor: All
aboard!
Alexis: Remember, eye contact. And don't forget to tell
him how wonderful he is, Seacrest loves that! And be yourself...
well... within reason.
Danny wheels Jamie 3 onstage.
Jamie 3:
Allison, I'm so proud of you and I know father would be too. We're
all proud, aren't we?
Allison: You'll be alright, won't
you?
Alexis: She'll be fine! Dan will take care of her,
right?
Danny: ...It's Danny ... I... I can't do this anymore.
He
exits.
Jamie 3: Danny ...
Alexis: Jamie, maybe he's just not
the right one... for you.
Jamie 3: No, it's me that's not right.
Allison, just go, I'll be fine.
(She wheels herself
offstage.)
Allison: Jamie, wait!
Alexis: Let her go. She'll
have to manage without you. We all will.
Allison: Please, you'll
barely even notice I'm gone. Besides, you have Skylari. Where is he,
anyway? Not that I expected him to say goodbye to me. We barely know
each other.
Alexis: I don't know him either. He's distant, and
moodified, and he's been thinking, which really worrries me. I never
knew how much he cared about that old goat.
Skylari
enters.
Alexis: Oh, there he is! Skylari, over here
dearest!
Skylari: (He hands Allison flowers.) Allison, I'm happy
for you.
Alexis: Yes, we are both so happy...
Skylari: Uh,
listen, I've been thinking...
Allison: Yes, I've heard.
Skylari:
About that lion cub and... everything. I think about that day a
lot.
Allison: Really? So do I.
Alexis: Me too! Poor Doctor
Lambert. It makes one want to... uh... take a stand. So I've been
thinking of... uh... changing my name.
Skylari: Your
name?
Alexis: Well, yes! Since Doctor Lambert had his own way of
pronouncing my name, in solidarity and to express my outrage, I will
henceforward be known no longer as Lexis, but as simply,
Alexis.
Skylari: Oh well, that's very admirable of you... Alexis.
(To Allison) Allison, good luck.
He runs off.
Alexis: There,
see?
Allison: Lexis...
Alexis: It's Alexis now. Stupid idea, I
don't even know what made me say it.
Allison: It doesn't matter
what your name is, everyone loves you!
Alexis: I don't care! I
want him. I don't even think he's perfect anymore and I still want
him. This must be what other people feel like. How do they bear it?
They embrace.
[Scene
14 - One Short Day]
Allison: Come with me.
Alexis:
Where?
Allison: To the Idol Mansion.
Alexis: Really?
Idols:
ONE
SHORT DAY, IN THE IDOL MANSION...
Alexis: I've always wanted to
see the Idol Mansion!
Idols:
ONE SHORT DAY, IN THE IDOL
MANSION!
ONE SHORT DAY, IN THE IDOL MANSION
ONE SHORT DAY, FULL
OF SO MUCH TO DO
EVER WAY THAT YOU LOOK AT THE CITY
THERE'S
SOMETHING EXQUISITE
YOU'LL WANT TO VISIT
BEFORE THE DAY'S
THROUGH
Allison:
THERE ARE BUIDLING TALL AS QUOXWOOD
TREES
Alexis:
DRESS SALONS!
Allison:
AND
LIBRARIES
Alexis: Palaces!
Allison: Museums!
Both:
A
HUNDRED STRONG
THERE ARE WONDERS LIKE I'VE NEVER SEEN!
Alexis:
It's all grand!
Allison: And it's all Crimson!
Both:
I THINK
WE'VE FOUND THE PLACE WHERE WE BELONG
I WANNA BE IN THIS HOI
POLLOI
Allison:
SO I'LL BE BACK FOR GOOD SOMEDAY
Alexis:
TO
MAKE MY LIFE AND MAKE MY WAY
Both:
BUT FOR TODAY WE'LL WANDER
AND ENJOY!
Idols:
ONE SHORT DAY
IN THE IDOL MANSION
ONE
SHORT DAY
TO HAVE A LIFETIME OF FUN
ONE SHORT DAY...
Both:
AND
WE'RE WARNING THE CITY
NOW THAT WE'RE IN HERE
YOU'LL KNOW
WE'VE BEEN HERE
BEFORE WE ARE DONE!
Alexis: All the hustle and
bustle! It's all so Idolopolitan! Alli... Alli? C'mon we'll be late
for Idolmania.
Allison: I want to remember this moment, always.
Nobody's pointing, nobody's staring, for the first time, I'm
somewhere that I belong.
Alexis: You look positively,
crimsonish.
The stage lights dim & Idolmania (The Musical)
Begins.
Idolmania Chorus:
WHO'S THE MAGE
WHO'S MAJOR
ITINERARY IS
MAKING ALL IDOL MERRIER
WHO'S THE SAGE
WHO
SAGELY
SAILED IN TO SAVE OUR POSTERIORS?
WHO'S ENTHUSE ABOUT
AIR BALLOONING
HAS ALL OF US HONEYMOONING?
OOOOOO
ISN'T HE
WONDERFUL?
OUR WONDERFUL SEACREST?
Both: ONE SHORT DAY IN THE
IDOL MANSION
Chorus: WHO'S THE MAGE WHO'S MAJOR ITINERARY IS
MAKING ALL IDOL MERRIER
Both: ONE SHORT DAY TO HAVE A LIFETIME OF
FUN
Chorus: WHO'S THE SAGE WHO SAGELY SAILED INTO SAVE OUR
POSTERIORS?
All:
WHAT A WAY TO BE SEEING THE CITY!
Both:
WHERE
SO MANY ROAM TO...
WE'LL CALL IT HOME TO
AND THEN JUST LIKE NOW
WE CAN SAY,
"WE'RE JUST TWO FRIENDS,"
Allison:
TWO
GOOD FRIENDS...
Alexis:
TWO BEST FRIENDS...
All:
SHARING
ONE WONDERFUL
ONE SHORT...
Idol Official: Seacrest will see you
now!
All:
DAY!!!
[Scene 15 - Sentimental Man]
A large
head is rolled onstage... it speaks to the two... voice
booming
Seacrest: I am the Idol leader, the great and terrible!
Who are you and why do you seek me?
Alexis: Say
something!
Allison: Uh... Allison Iraheta your terribleness!
His
speaks normally.
Seacrest: Oh? Is that you Allison? I didn't
realize!
He climbs out of the head.
Seacrest: I hope I didn't
startle you, it's so hard to make out peoples' faces all the way back
there. So, let's see... which is which? Allison! He grabs her hands.
And you must be.
Alexis: Lexis. The A is silent.
Seacrest: Well
I'll just call you Alexis
Allison
touches the American Idol mask.
Seacrest: I know. It isn't much,
is it? But people expect this sort of thing. You have to give people
what they want. The thing is, I hardly ever let people meet the real
me, but this being special occasion.
Allison: I'm so happy to
meet you.
Seacrest: Well, that's good. 'Cause that's what I love
best: making people happy!
I AM A SENTIMENTAL MAN
WHO ALWAYS
LONGED TO BE A FATHER
THAT'S WHY I DO THE BEST I CAN
TO TREAT
EACH CITIZEN OF HOLLYWOOD AS SON
OR DAUGHTER
SO ALLISON I'D
LIKE TO RAISE YOU HIGH
'CUZ I THINK EVERYONE DESERVES THE CHANCE
TO SING!
AND HELPING YOU WITH YOUR ASCENT
ALLOWS ME TO FEEL SO
PARENTAL.
FOR I AM
A SENTIMENTAL MAN!
Allison: I'm here...
we're here to alert you that something bad is happening...
Seacrest:
Please, I'm Seacrest of American Idol. I already know why you've
come.
Allison & Alexis: Oooo.
Seacrest: Of course, you must
prove yourself...
Alexis: Prove yourself, prove yourself.
Allison:
But how?
Seacrest: Oh, I don't know.
SOME SORT OF SONG
MOSTLY
FOR SHOW
SOMETHING TO TEST YOUR IDOLNESS….
I know! Tatiana,
the book!
Tatiana Del Toro enters.
Alexis: Tatiana Del
Toro...
Seacrest: I believe you're well acquainted with my new
Press Secretary.
Allison: (Disgusted) Press Secretary?
Tatiana
Del Toro: Oh, yes dearies, I've risen up in the world. You'll find
that Seacrest is a very generous man. If you do something for him,
he'll do much for you.
Allison: What do you want me to
do?
Seacrest: Well, this is my cat servent, Anoop. He looks so
longingly at the birds every morning....
Tatiana Del Toro: So
Seacrest was thinking, perhaps, a singing spell...
Alexis:
(Noticing a book in Tatiana Del Toro's hands.) Is that the
Grimmerie?
Tatiana Del Toro: Yes, the ancient book of spells and
enchantments. (Hands it to Allison)
Alexis: (Whispers.) Can I
touch it?
Tatiana Del Toro: (Whispers.) No!
Allison: What
funny writing...
Tatiana Del Toro: Well it's a lost language. The
lost language of spells.
Seacrest: It's kind of a recipe book for
change.
Tatiana Del Toro: Don't be discouraged if you can't
decipherate it, dearie. I, myself, can only read a spell or two, and
that took years and years
Allison:
SONG, SING, SINGING SONGS,
SING...
Seacrest: (She continues chanting.) Oh, Anoop, what an
experience you are about to have!
Allison:
.................................. AH DO AH MI SING
Seacrest:
SINCE ONCE I HAVE MY OWN DAY IN THE COMPETITION...
Allison: AH DO
AH RE MI DO TU SE SAY FA!
Seacrest: I KNOW EVERYONE DESERVES THE
CHANCE TO SING!
Anoop screams & begins to meow.
Allison:
What happened? Is something wrong?
Tatiana Del Toro: No just a
transition, dearie.
Allison: No, stop you're hurting
him!
Seacrest: She's actually done it!
Anoop sprouts wings.
And begins running around the stage.
Allison: NO! Quick, how do I
reverse it?
Tatiana Del Toro: You can't!
Allison:
What?!
Tatiana Del Toro: You can't! Spells are irreversible! I
knew she had the power, I told you!
Allison: You planned all
this?
Tatiana Del Toro: Well, you benefit too, dearie! You
benefit, too.
Seacrest: And this is only the beginning! Look.
The
other cats begin to grow wings and fly.
Tatiana Del Toro: Won't
they make perfect spies?
Allison: Spies?!
Seacrest: You're
right, that's a harsh word... how about scouts? That's what they'll
be really. They'll fly around Hollywood! Report any subversive animal
activity.
Allison: You can't read this book at all! Can you?
That's why you need enemies, and cages, and spies. You have no real
power.
Seacrest: Exactly... that's why I need you. Don't you see?
The world is yours, now! You have so many...opportunites. You both
do.
Alexis: Thank you, your Idolness.
Seacrest:
SINCE ONCE I
HAD MY OWN DAY IN THE COMPETITION
I KNOW EVERYONE DESERVES THE
CHANCE TO...
Allison: NO!
She runs off.
Tatiana Del Toro:
Allison!
Alexis: Alli! I am so sorry, your Seacrestship. I'll
fetch her back! Alli wait!
She runs after her.
Seacrest: We
must get her back. She knows too much.
Tatiana Del Toro: Don't
worry! I will handle it.
He gets back in the head. Speaking,
again, with a powerful voice.
Seacrest: Matt Giraud, Matt Giraud!
There is a fugitive loose in the palace! Find her, capture her, and
bring her to me!
Matt Giraud: Yes your Idolness!
[Scene
17 - Defying Gravity]
Alexis: Alli, wait! Where are you
going?
Allison: Oh no! There are no more stairs! This might be the
attic...
Alexis: Allison, listen to me...
Allison: I have to
barricade the door! (She picks up a broom and places it over a trap
door.
Alexis: Allison, why couldn't you have stayed calm for once
instead of flying off the handle?
I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY
I HOPE
YOU'RE HAPPY NOW
I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY HOW YOU'VE HURT YOUR CAUSE
FOREVER
I HOPE YOU THINK YOU'RE CLEVER
Allison:
I HOPE
YOU'RE HAPPY! I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY TOO
I HOPE YOU'RE PROUD HOW YOU
WOULD GROVEL IN SUBMISSION
TO FEED YOUR OWN AMBISSION
Both:
SO
THOUGH I CAN'T IMAGINE HOW
I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY
RIGHT
NOW...
Tatiana Del Toro: Citizens of Hollywood, there is an enemy
that must be found and captured! Believe nothing she says or sings.
She's evil. Responsible for the mutilation of these poor, innocent
cats! Her Crimson Hair is but an outward manifestation of her twisted
nature! This distortion... this repulsion... this... Wicked
Idol!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The scene fades to Allison & Alexis.
Alexis:
Don't be afraid...
Allison: I'm not... it's Seacrest who should be
afraid... of me!
Alexis: Alli, just say you're sorry before it's
too late.
YOU CAN STILL BE WITH SEACREST
WHAT YOU'VE WORKED
AND WAITED FOR
YOU CAN HAVE ALL YOU EVER WANTED...
Allison: I
know...
BUT I DON'T WANT IT
NO, I CAN'T WANT
IT
ANYMORE...
SOMETHING HAS CHANGED WITHIN ME
SOMETHING IS
NOT THE SAME
I'M THROUGH WITH PLAYING BY THE RULES
OF SOMEONE
ELSE'S GAME!
TOO LATE FOR SECOND GUESSING
TOO LATE TO GO BACK
TO SLEEP
IT'S TIME TO TRUST MY INSTINCTS
CLOSE MY EYES...
AND
LEAP
IT'S TIME TO TRY DEFYING GRAVITY
I THINK I'LL TRY DEFYING
GRAVITY
AND YOU CAN'T PULL ME DOWN
Alexis:
CAN'T I MAKE YOU
UNDERSTAND
YOU'RE HAVING DELUSIONS OF GRANDURE?
Allison:
I'M
THROUHG EXCEPTING LIMITS
'CUZ SOMEONE SAYS THEY'RE SO
SOME
THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE,
BUT 'TIL I TRY I'LL NEVER KNOW!
TOO
LONG I'VE BEEN AFRAID OF
LOSING LOVE I GUESS I'D LOST
WELL IF
THAT'S LOVE,
IT COMES AT MUCH TOO HIGH A COST!
I'D SOONER BUY
DEFYING GRAVITY
KISS ME GOODBYE I'M DEFYING GRAVITY
AND YOU
CAN'T PULL ME DOWN!
Matt Giraud bangs on the locked door.
Matt
Giraud: Open this door, in the name of his supreme Idolness!
Allison: Ah Do Ah Mi Ah Re Faaaa...
Alexis: (As Allison
continues chanting.) What are you doing?! Stop it! That's what
started all this in the first place... that hideous singing or flying
spell! STOP!!!
Allison stops chanting.
Alexis: Well... Where
are your wings? Maybe you're not as powerful as you think you
are...
A broomstick floats across the room towards
Allison.
Allison: I told you, Alexis... I did it, I tell ya!
Matt
Giraud bangs on the door once again.
Allison: Quick! Get
on!
Alexis: What?
Allison: Come with me... think of what we
could do... together.
UNLIMITED, TOGETHER WE'RE UNLIMITED
TOGETHER
WE'LL BE THE GREATEST TEAM THERE'S EVER BEEN, ALEXIS
DREAMS THE
WAY WE PLANNED 'EM
Alexis:
IF WE WORK IN TANDEM
Both:
JUST
YOU AND I DEFYING GRAVITY
WITH YOU AND I DEFYING
GRAVITY
Allison:
THEY'LL NEVER BRING US DOWN.
Well, are you
coming?
Alexis: Alli, you're trembling... here, put this around
you...
She drapes a black cape around her.
I HOPE YOU'RE
HAPPY
NOW THAT YOU'RE CHOOSING THIS
Allison: You too.
I HOPE
IT BRINGS YOU BLISS
Both:
I REALLY HOPE YOU GET IT
AND YOU
DON'T LIVE TO REGRET IT
I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY IN THE END!
I HOPE
YOU'RE HAPPY...
MY FRIEND...
Allison runs off. Matt Giraud
breaks down the door.
Matt Giraud: There she is! I won't let her
get away!
He grabs hold of Alexis.
Alexis: What on American
Idol?! Let go of me! Do you hear me? Let go!
Allison: It's not
her. She has nothing to do with it. I'm the one you want. It's me.
It's me! Up here! It's me!
She rises up center stage holding her
broom.
Allison:
SO IF YOU CARE TO FIND ME,
LOOK TO THE
WESTERN STAGE
AS SOMEONE TOLD ME LATELY,
EVERYONE DESERVES THE
CHANCE TO SING!
AND IF I'M SINGING SOLO,
AT LEAST I'M SINGING
FREE!
TO THOSE WHO GROUND ME,
TAKE A MESSAGE BACK FROM ME!
TELL
THEM HOW I AM DEFYING GRAVITY!!!
I'M SINGING HIGH DEFYING
GRAVITY!!!
AND SOON I'LL MATCH THEM IN RENOWN
AND NOBODY
IN
ALL OF HOLLYWOOD...
NO SEACREST THAT THERE IS OR WAS
IS EVER
GONNA BRING
ME DOWN!!!
Idols:
LOOK AT HER, SHE'S WICKED
GET
HER!!!
Allison: BRING ME DOWN!!!!
Idols: NO ONE MOURNS THE
WICKED! SO WE'VE GOT TO BRING HER...
Allison:
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Idols: DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
END
ACT I
Intermission!
ACT
II
[Scene 1 - Thank Goodness]
The Act Opens With Idols.
Idols:
EVERY DAY THE WICKED
EVERY DAY THE TERROR GROWS
ALL OF
HOLLYWOOD IS EVER ON ALERT
THAT'S THE WAY WITH WICKED-
SPREADING
FEAR WHERE E'ER SHE GOES
SEEKING OUT NEW VICTIMS SHE CAN
HURT!
Idol Woman:
LIKE SOME TERRIBLE CRIMSON HAIRED
BLIZZARD
THROUGHOUT THE LAND SHE FLIES...
Idol Man:
DEFAMING
OUR POOR SEACREST
Idols:
WITH HER CALUMNIES AND LIES
SHE
LIES!
SAVE US FROM THE WICKED
SHIELD US SO WE WON'T BE
HEXED
GIVE US WARNING
WHERE WILL SHE STRIKE NEXT
WHERE WILL
SHE STRIKE NEXT
WHERE WILL SHE STRIKE NEXT
Alexis, Skylari and
Tatiana Del Toro appear onstage on a podium.
Alexis: Fellow Idols,
as terrifying as terror is, let us put aside our panic for this one
day... and celebrate!
OH WHAT A CELEBRATION WE'LL HAVE
TODAY!
Idols:
THANK GOODNESS!
Alexis:
LET'S HAVE A
CELEBRATION THE ALEXIS WAY!
Idols:
THANK GOODNESS!
Tatiana
Del Toro:
FINALLY A DAY THAT'S TOTALLY WICKED IDOL FREE
All:
WE
COULDN'T BE HAPPIER
THANK GOODNESS!
Tatiana Del Toro: And thank
goodness for you, Alexis, and your handsome mate, our new captain of
Matt Giraud. (To Skylari.) Now you've been at the forefront of the
hunt for the Wicked Idol, haven't you?
Skylari: Not really, but I
don't like to think of her as a Wicked Idol.
Tatiana Del Toro:
Captain, how does it feel?
Skylari: Frustrating... but I became
captain of Matt Giraud to find her, and I will keep
searching!
Tatiana Del Toro: No, being engaged!
Idols:
Congratulations!
Skylari: (To Alexis - Confuzzed.) This is an
engagement party?
Alexis: Surprised?
Skylari: Yes!
Alexis:
Good, we hoped you'd be... Seacrest and I!
WE COULDN'T BE
HAPPIER
RIGHT DEAR?
COULDN'T BE HAPPIER
RIGHT HERE
LOOK
WHAT WE'VE GOT
A FAIRY TALE PLOT
OUR VERY OWN HAPPY
ENDING
WHERE WE COULDN'T BE HAPPIER
TRUE DEAR?
COULDN'T BE
HAPPIER
AND WE'RE HAPPY TO SHARE OUR ENDING VICARIOUSLY
WITH
ALL OF YOU!
HE COULDN'T LOOK HANDSOMER
I COULDN'T BE
HUMBLER
BECAUSE HAPPY IS WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN ALL YOUR DREAMS COME
TRUE...
Tatiana Del Toro: And Alexis, dear, we're happy for you!
As Press Secretary, I have striven to ensure that all of American
Idol and America as well as Hollywood knows the story of your
braverism! How I vividly remember...
THE DAY YOU WERE FIRST
SUMMONED
TO AN AUDIENCE WITH AMERICAN IDOL,
AND ALTHOUGH HE
WOULD NOT TELL YOU WHY INITIALLY
WHEN YOU BOWED BEFORE IT'S
STAGE
HE DECREED YOU'D HENCE BE KNOWN
AS ALEXIS THE
GOOD
OFFICIALLY!
Skylari: That's not how you described it to
me.
Alexis: Oh no, not exactly, but (Whispers) we'll talk about it
later.
Tatiana Del Toro:
THEN WITH A JEALOUS SQUEEE
THE
WICKED IDOL BURST FROM CONCEALMENT
WHERE SHE HAD BEEN
LURKING
SURREPTITIALLY!
Gasps from among the crowd.
Idol:
I
HEAR SHE HAS AN EXTRA LUNG THAT ALWAYS REMAINS ALIVE!
Idol:
I
HEAR THAT SHE CAN SUMMON HER FANS AS EASILY AS AN LION!
Idol:
I
HEAR SOME FANS ARE GIVING HER FOOD AND SHELTER!
Idol:
I HEAR
HER VOICE IS SO UNCLEAR, ADAM CAN DEFEAT HER!
Skylari:
What?
Idols:
DEFEAT HER! PLEASE SOMEBODY GO AND DEFEAT
HER!
Skylari: Do you hear that?! Adam will defeatt her? People are
so empty-headed they'll believe anything!
Alexis: Excuse me just a
tick-tock!
Her and Skylari talk aside.
Skylari: I can't just
stand here grinning pretending to go along with all of this!
Alexis:
Do you think I like to hear them say those awful things about her? I
hate it!
Skylari: Then what are we doing here? Let's go, let's get
out of here!
Alexis: We can't leave now, not when people are
looking to us to raise their spirits.
Skylari: You can't leave,
because you can't resist this. And that is the truth.
Alexis:
Maybe I can't. Is that so wrong? Who could?
Skylari: You know who
could. Who has.
Alexis: Skylari, I miss her too, but we can't
just stop living. No one has searched harder for her than you. But
don't you see? She doesn't want to be found. We have to face
it.
Skylari: You're right. I'm sorry, you're right. And if it's
going to make you happy, of course I'll marry you.
Alexis: But
it'll make you happy too, right?
Skylari: You know me... I'm
always happy.
He
runs off.
Alexis: Skylari! Thanks plenty dearest! He's gone to
fetch me a refreshment, he's so thoughtful that way!
THAT'S WHY I
COULDN'T BE HAPPIER
NO, I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER
THOUGH IT IS I
ADMIT, THE TINIEST BIT
UNLIKE I ANTICIPATED,
BUT I COULDN'T BE
HAPPIER
SIMPLY COULDN'T BE HAPPIER...
Well, not simply...
'CUZ
GETTING YOUR DREAMS, IT'S STRANGE BUT IT SEEMS
A LITTLE, WELL,
COMPLICATED...
THERE'S A KIND OF A SORT OF COST
THERE'S A
COUPLE OF THINGS GET LOST...
THERE ARE BRIDGES YOU CROSSED YOU
DIDN'T KNOW YOU CROSSED UNTIL YOU'VE CROSSED!
AND IF THAT JOY THAT
THRILL
DOESN'T THRILL LIKE YOU THINK IT WILL...
STILL... WITH
THIS PERFECT FINALE
THE CHEERS AND THE BALLYHOO
WHO WOULDN'T BE
HAPPIER?
SO I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER
BECAUSE HAPPY IS WHAT
HAPPENS
WHEN ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE...
WELL, ISN'T IT?
HAPPY
IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR DREAMS COME...
TRUE!!!!
Idols:
WE
LOVE YOU ALEXIS IF WE MAY BE SO FRANK!
Alexis:
THANK
GOODNESS!
Idols:
FOR ALL THIS JOY WE KNOW WHO WE'VE GOT TO
THANK!
THANK GOODNESS!
THAT MEANS SEACREST,
ALEXIS...
Alexis:
AND FIANCE!
Idols:
THEY COULDN'T BE
GOODLIER
SHE COULDN'T BE LOVLIER
WE COULDN'T BE
LUCKIER!
Alexis: I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER!!!
Idols: THANK
GOODNESS!!!
Alexis: TODAY!!!!
Idols: TODAY, THANK GOODNESS FOR
TODAY!
[Scene 2 - Allison & Jamie Reunite]
The scene
opens at the governer's house in Munchkinland.
Danny: Will there
be anything else, Jamie?
Jamie 3: I've asked you to call me Jamie
3, remember?
Danny: Yes, Jamie.
He
exits.
Jamie 3: Danny ...
Allison's voice is heard inside a
closet.
Allison: Well, it seems the beautiful only get more
beautiful, Jamie 3. (Screams) While the Crimson Haired just get more
Crimson Haired.
Jamie 3 is scared and confuzzled.
Allison steps
out of the closet.
Allison: I'm sorry. Did I scare you? I seem to
have that effect on people. It's good to see you.
Jamie 3: What
are you doing here?
Allison: Well, there's no place like home. I
never thought I'd hear myself say this but I need father's help. I
need him to stand with me.
Jamie 3: That's impossible.
Allison:
No, no it's not. Not if you ask him. You know he'll listen to you.
Jamie 3: Father's dead.
Allison: What?
Jamie 3: He's dead.
I'm the governor... Well what did you expect? After he learned what
you'd done, how you'd disgraced us, he died... of shame. Embarrassed
to death.
Allison: Good, I'm glad. It's better that way.
Jamie
3: That's a wicked thing to say.
Allison: No, it's true. Because
now it's just us. You can help me and together we can...
Jamie 3:
Allison, shut up! First of all, I can't harbor a fugitive, I'm an
un-elected official! And why should I help you? You fly around
Hollywood, trying to rescue animals you've never even met, and not
once have you ever thought to use your powers to rescue me or sing to
win the competition!
ALL OF MY LIFE, I'VE DEPENDED ON YOU
HOW
DO YOU THINK THAT FEELS?
ALL OF MY LIFE I'VE DEPENDED ON YOU
AND
THIS HIDEOUS CHAIR WITH WHEELS!
SCROUNGING FOR SCRAPS OF PITY TO
PICK UP
AND LONGING TO KICK UP
MY HEELS...
Allison: Jamie,
there isn't a spell for everything! The power is mysterious. It's not
like pampering up a pair of... (She pulls out the Grimmerie- Idol
Handbook from her bag.) Wait.
Jamie 3: What are you doing?
Allison
begins chanting.
Jamie 3: What is that? Ah! My shoes! It feels
like... like they're on fire! What have you done to my shoes???
She
lifts her dress, revealing the ruby slippers (Haha they're red).
Jamie 3 stands, but falls. Allison gives her a hand.
Jamie 3: No,
don't help me. (She stands.)
Allison: Oh, Jamie , at last...
I'VE
DONE WHAT LONG AGO I SHOULD
AND FINALLY FROM THESE POWERS
SOMETHING GOOD
FINALLY SOMETHING GOOD...
Jamie 3: Danny! Danny!
Come quickly!
Allison: Danny?
Jamie 3: Danny! Come here at
once!
Allison: No! Jamie, listen, nobody can know I'm here!
Jamie
3 runs behind the closet as Danny enters.
Danny: Yes, what is it,
Jamie?
Allison: Danny ...
Danny: What are you doing here? You
stay back!
Allison: Danny, it's just me, I'm not going to hurt
you!
Danny: No! You're lying! That's all you ever do! You and your
sister! She's as wicked as you are!
Allison: What are you talking
about?
Danny: I'm talking about my life. The little that's left of
it. I'm not free to leave Munchkinland, none of us are. Ever since
she took power, she's been stripping the Munchkins of our rights...
and we didn't have that many to begin with! And do you know
why?
Jamie 3 reveals herself in the chair.
Jamie 3: To keep you
here, with me. But none of that matters anymore. Look.
Jamie 3
stands up.
Danny: (To Allison .) You did this for her?
Jamie 3:
For both of us!
Danny: Jamie, this changes everything.
Jamie 3:
I know.
Danny:
LISTEN JAMIE ...
Jamie 3: What?
Danny:
UH
JAMIE , SURELY NOW I'LL MATTER LESS TO YOU
AND YOU WON'T MIND MY
LEAVING HERE TONIGHT...
Jamie 3: Leaving?
Danny: Yes...
THAT
BALL THAT'S BEING STAGED
ANNOUNCING ALEXIS IS ENGAGED
Jamie 3:
Alexis?
Danny:
YES JAMIE THAT'S RIGHT!
I'VE GOT TO GO
APPEAL TO HER
EXPRESS THE WAY I FEEL TO HER
Oh, Jamie, I lost
my heart to Alexis from the moment I first saw her. You know
that.
Jamie 3: Lost your heart? Well, we'll see about
that...
Allison: Jamie, let him go...
Jamie 3:
DID YOU THINK
I'D LET YOU LEAVE ME HERE FLAT?
Danny: Don't come any
closer!
YOU'RE GOING TO LOSE YOUR HEART TO ME, I TELL YOU!
IF I
HAVE TO... I HAVE TO...
Sees the Grimmerie.
PUT A MAGIC SPELL
YOU...
She grabs the book.
Jamie 3: Ah... Me... Ray...
PHAA...
Allison reveals herself.
Allison: Jamie, stop!
Danny:
What is she doing?!
Allison: No, Jamie, you're pronouncing the
words all wrong!
Allison: Jamie!
Jamie 3: Danny! What is
it?
Danny: Gasps. My heart feels like it's... shrinking.
Jamie
3: Allison, do something!
Allison: I can't! You can't reverse a
spell once it's been cast!
Jamie 3: So what do we do?
Danny
falls into Jamie's empty wheel chair. Allison wheels him behind the
closet.
Jamie 3: Allison, do something!
Jamie 3: This is all
your fault! If you hadn't shown me that horrendible
book.
Allison: I have to find another spell... it's the only thing
that might work.
She
goes behind the closet as well.
Jamie 3: Save him, please!
JUST
SAVE HIM, MY POOR DANNY , MY SWEET, MY BRAVE,
DON'T LEAVE ME 'TIL
MY SORRY LIFE HAS CEASED...
Allison wheels the chair out, which is
not facing the audience and is seen casting a spell.
ALL ALONE AND
LOVELESS HERE
JUST THE GIRL IN THE MIRROR
JUST HER AND ME! THE
WICKED IDOL OF THE EAST!
WE DESERVE EACH OTHER...
Jamie 3:
Well... what about his heart?
Allison: It's all right. He won't
need one now. I have to go. I have business to attend to in the Idol
Mansion. Jamie, I have done everything I could for you but it has
never been enough and it never will be...
She leaves.
Jamie 3:
Allison, wait! Allison!
Danny wakes up.
Danny: Where am I? What
happened?
Jamie 3: Nothing, Danny, you just fell asleep...
and...
He sits up, squeaking. He is made of tin. Jamie 3
screams.
Danny: What is it, what's wrong?
Jamie 3: No, it
wasn't me it was her! I tried to stop her.
Danny screams
uncontrollably and runs off.
Jamie 3: Danny, please listen! It
was Allison! Danny! It was Allison!!!!
[Scene 4 -
Wonderful]
The scene opens in Seacrest's palace. Only Seacrest is
there when Allison enters, climbing in on the walls. She sets her
broom down by the big head and walks around the room
Seacrest:
(Grabbing her broom. In the terrible Seacrest's voice) I knew you'd
be back. (In his regular voice) Hear me out. I never meant to harm
you.
Allison: Well you have, you have harmed me.
Seacrest: I
realize that, and I regret it. Allison ...
Allison: There you are!
I'm setting those cats free! And don't try to interfere, or call Matt
Giraud...
Seacrest: I'm not calling anyone. The truth is I'm glad
to see you again. It gets pretty lonely around here. And I know you
must get lonely too.
Allison: You don't know the first thing about
me.
Seacrest: Oh, but I do. I do know you. I can't explain it
exactly. You know what I mean? Allison, you've been so strong through
all of this, aren't you tired of being the strong one? Wouldn't you
like someone to take care of you? (He hands her back the broom.)
Please, help me start again.
Allison: Don't you think I wish I
could? That I could go back to the time when I believed you really
were wonderful? The Wonderful Seacrest of American Idol? Nobody
believed in you more than I did.
Seacrest: Oh, my dear child...
I
NEVER ASKED FOR THIS OR PLANNED IT IN ADVANCE
I WAS MERELY BLOWN
HERE BY THE WINDS OF CHANCE
I NEVER SAW MYSELF AS A SOLOMON OR
SOCRATES
I KNEW WHO I WAS, ONE OF YOUR DIME AN AMERICAN IDOL-IAN
MEDIOCRATES
THEN SUDDENLY I'M HERE, RESPECTED, WORSHIPED EVEN
JUST
BECAUSE THE FOLKS IN HOLLYWOOD NEEDED SOMEONE TO BELIEVE IN
DOES
IT SURPRISE YOU I GOT HOOKED AND ALL TOO SOON
WHAT CAN I SAY? I
GOT CARRIED AWAY
AND NOT JUST BY BALLOON...
WONDERFUL
THEY
CALLED ME WONDERFUL
SO I SAID, WONDERFUL, IF YOU INSIST
I WILL
BE WONDERFUL
AND THEY SAID WONDERFUL
BELIEVE ME IT'S HARD TO
RESIST
'CUZ IT FEELS WONDERFUL
THEY THINK I'M WONDERFUL
HEY
LOOK WHO'S WONDERFUL
THIS CORN-FED HICK!
WHO SAID IT MIGHT BE
KEEN
TO BUILD A TOWN OF CRIMSON
AND A WONDERFUL ROAD OF RED
BRICK!
See, I never had a family of my own since I was always
traveling, and I guess I just wanted to give the citizens of
Hollywood everything.
Allison: So you lied to them?
Seacrest:
Only verbally. Besides, they were the lies they wanted to hear.
Allison, where I come from we believe all sorts of things that aren't
true... we call it history!
A MAN'S CALLED A TRAITOR
OR
LIBERATOR
A RICH MAN'S A THIEF
OR PHILANTHROPIST
IS ONE A
CRUSADER
OR RUTHLESS INVADER
IT'S ALL IN THE LABEL WHICH IS
ABLE TO PERSIST
THERE ARE PRECIOUS FEW AT EASE
WITH MORAL
AMBIGUITIES
SO WE ACT AS THOUGH THEY DON'T EXIST...
THEY CALL
ME WONDERFUL
SO I AM
INFACT, IT'S SO MUCH WHO I AM IT'S PART OF
MY NAME!
AND WITH MY HELP YOU CAN BE THE SAME...
AT LONG, LONG
LAST RECEIVE YOUR DUE
LONG OVERDUE
ALLISON, THE MOST
CELEBRATED
ARE THE REHABILITATED
THERE'LL SUCH A WHOOPDEE
DOO!
A CELEBRATION THROUGHOUT IDOL,
THAT'S ALL TO DO WITH
YOU!
WONDERFUL, THEY'LL CALL YOU WONDERFUL!
Allison:
THAT
DOES SOUND WONDERFUL!
Seacrest:
TRUST ME IT'S
FUN!!!
Both:
WHEN YOU ARE WONDERFUL,
IT WOULD BE
WONDERFUL!
WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL
Seacrest:
ONE, TWO
AND...
They dance.
Allison:
I'LL ACCEPT YOUR
PROPOSITION
Seacrest: Wonderful
Allison:
ON ONE
CONDITION
Seacrest: Yes?
Allison: You set those cats
free.
Seacrest: Done.
[Scene 5 - The cats]
He pulls a
string on the large head and cats are let loose. They fly and sing
around the theatre and then exit.
Allison: Go! Fly! You're Free!
Sing! Anoop, Anoop, you're free, isn't it wonderful?! Go, fly and
sing!
She
makes her way to another "Cat" covered by a
sheet.
Seacrest: No! No! Please!
She pulls off the cover,
revealing Dr. Lambert.
Allison: No! It can't be! Doctor
Lambert...
Seacrest: Allison, we just couldn't keep letting him
speak out...
Allison: Doctor Lambert, are you alright? Don't be
afraid. It's me, Allison Iraheta.
Lambert: Bahhhhh.
Allison:
Doctor, don't you remember me?
Lambert: Bahhhhh.
Allison: Can't
you speak?
Lambert: Bahhhhh.
Allison: No... We have nothing in
common. I am nothing like you and I never will be and I will fight
you until the day I die!!!
Seacrest climbs into the head and Dr.
Lambert runs offstage.
Seacrest: Skylari Malesa, Matt
Giraud!!!
Skylari and Matt Giraud run in with four other men.
Matt
Giraud: Halt!
Skylari: Are you alright, your Idolness?
Allison:
Skylari!
Skylari: I don't believe it...
Allison: Oh, Skylari,
thank God. I thought you were...
Skylari: Silence Idol!!!
Matt
Giraud: There's a Goat on the lam, sir.
Skylari: Never mind all
that. Fetch me some... some water.
Matt Giraud: Water,
sir?
Skylari: You heard me, as much as you can carry.
Matt
Giraud: Yes, sir!
He marchs off with the others.
Allison:
Skylari...
Skylari: I said silence!
Seacrest: (He runs out of
the head.) No! No!
Skylari: Don't make a sound, your Idolness,
unless you want all your guests to know the truth about the Wonderful
Seacrest of American Idol... Allison, I'll find Doctor Lambert later,
now get out of here.
Allison: Skylari, you frightened me. I
thought, I though you might have changed.
Skylari: I have...
changed.
Alexis enters.
Alexis: What's going on... Alli? Oh,
thank IdolClan you're alive! Only you shouldn't have come. If anyone
discovers you ...
Skylari: Alexis, you'd better go.
Alexis:
Skylari, what are you...
Skylari: Please, just go back to the
ball.
Alexis: Your Idolness, he means no disrespectation. Please
understand! You see, we all went to school together...
Skylari:
Allison!
Alexis: Skylari, have you misplaced your mind? What are
you doing?
Skylari: I'm going with her.
Alexis: What? What are
you saying? You mean all this time... the two of you... behind my
back...
Allison: No, Alexis it wasn't like that!
Skylari:
Actually, it was...but it wasn't...Allison, let's go... let's
go!
They run off.
Alexis: Fine, go! You deserve each
other...
Seacrest holds a small bottle with a Crimson
liquid.
Seacrest: Here, have a swig of this, it dulls the
pain.
Alexis: No, thank you.
Tatiana Del Toro enters,
laughing.
Tatiana Del Toro: Oh, is it true? Your betrothed has
taken her into custody?
Seacrest: Our new captain of Matt Giraud
had other plans.
Tatiana Del Toro: You mean she hasn't been
captured?
Seacrest: Quite the contrary. And considering how well
she eluded us last time...
Tatiana Del Toro: Well, we'll just
flush her out and force her to show herself.
Seacrest: But
how?
Alexis: Her sister
Tatiana Del Toro: What? What did she
say?
Alexis: Use her sister. Spread a rumor. Make her think her
sister is in trouble and she will fly to her side... and you'll have
her.
Seacrest: Exactly so.
Alexis: Now, if your Idolness will
excuse me I have a slight headache, I think I'll lie down.
She
walks out.
Tatiana Del Toro: Yes, well...a rumor won't do it.
Allison's too smart for that.
Seacrest: Far too smart.
Tatiana
Del Toro: Perhaps, a change in the weather...
[Scene 6 - I'm
Not That Girl {Reprise}]
Alexis:
DON'T WISH, DON'T
START
WISHING ONLY WOUNDS THE HEART...
THERE'S A GIRL I KNOW,
HE LOVES HER SO...
I'M NOT THAT GIRL...
[Scene 7 - As Long
As You're Mine]
Only Allison & Skylari are on stage, in the
woods
Allison:
KISS ME TOO FIERCELY, HOLD ME TOO TIGHT
I
NEED HELP BELIEVING YOU'RE WITH ME TONIGHT
MY WILDEST DREAMINGS
COULD NOT FORSEE
LYING BESIDE YOU WITH YOU WANTING ME
IF JUST
FOR THIS MOMENT
AS LONG AS YOU'RE MINE
I'VE LOST ALL
RESISTANCE
AND CROSSED SOME BORDERLINE
AND IF IT TURNS OUT
IT'S
OVER TOO FAST
I'LL MAKE EVERY LAST MOMENT LAST
AS LONG AS
YOU'RE MINE...
Skylari:
MAYBE I'M BRAINLESS, MAYBE I'M
WISE,
BUT YOU'VE GOT ME SEEING THROUGH DIFFERENT EYES,
SOMEHOW
I'VE FALLEN UNDER YOUR SPELL
AND SOMEHOW I'M FEELING
IT'S UP
THAT I FELL
Both:
EVERY MOMENT, AS LONG AS YOU'RE MINE
I'LL
WAKE UP MY BODY
AND MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME
Skylari:
SAY
THERE'S NO FUTURE
FOR US AS A PAIR...
Both:
AND THOUGH I MAY
KNOW,
I DON'T CARE
IF JUST FOR THIS MOMENT
AS LONG AS YOU'RE
MINE
COME BE HOW YOU WANT TO
AND SEE HOW BRIGHT WE
SHINE!
BORROW THE MOONLIGHT
UNTIL IT IS THROUGH
AND KNOW
I'LL BE HERE HOLDING YOU...
AS LONG AS YOU'RE MINE...
Skylari:
What is it?
Allison: It's just... for the first time... I feel...
wicked.
[Scene 8 – Jasmine Murray Arrives]
Allison: I
just wish...
Skylari: What?
Allison: I wish I could be
beautiful... for you.
Skylari: Allison ...
Allison: Don't tell
me that I am, you don't need to lie to me.
Skylari: It's not
lying! It's... uh... it's looking at things another way. Someday, you
and Alexis will make up and we'll all...
Allison: Shh! Listen...
Do you hear that? (A shriek is heard in the distance.) It sounds like
somebody in pain.
Skylari: It's just the wind.
Allison: (The
siren is heard again.) My sister's in danger.
Skylari: What? How
do you know?
Allison: I don't know, I just do... *gasps*
Skylari:
Allison what's wrong, what is it?
Allison: This! Don't you see it?
Skylari: What do you mean? What do you see?
Allison: It
doesn't make any sense... It's a house but it's... it's flying
through the sky? I have to go to Jamie!
Skylari: I'll come with
you!
Allison: No, you mustn't, it's too dangerous!
Skylari:
Listen to me, listen! My family has a castle in Kiamo Ko. Now, no one
is ever there except for the sentries who watch over it. We've never
lived there.
Allison: Where do you live?
Skylari: In the other
castle... It's the perfect hiding place; tunnels, secret passageways.
You'll be safe there.
Allison: We will see each other again,
won't we?
Skylari: Allison, we are going to be together always.
You can see houses flying through the sky, can't you see that?
They
embrace and Allison runs off.
[Scene
9 - Allison Vs Alexis]
Alexis enters. There is a house in the
background. The edge of the Red Brick Road can be seen.
Alexis:
That's right, you just take that one road, the whole time. (Waves
offstage.) Oh, I hope they don't get lost. I'm so bad at giving
directions. She sees the house, picks up flowers and lays them in
front of the house. Oh, Jamie.
Allison appears.
Allison: What a
touching display of grief.
Alexis: I don't think we have anything
further to say to one another.
Allison: I wanted something to
remember her by, and all that is left were those shoes, and now that
wretched little farm girl has walked off with them. So I'd appreciate
some time, Alone, to say goodbye to my sister.
Alexis backs away
as Allison walks toward the house.
Allison: Jamie, please, please,
please forgive me...
Alexis: Alli... you mustn't blame yourself.
It's dreadful, it is, to have a house fall on you, but accidents will
happen.
Allison: You call this an accident?
Alexis: Yes! Well,
maybe not an accident...
Allison: Well, what do you call
it?
Alexis: Well... a regime change. Caused by a bizarre and
unexpected twister of fate.
Allison: You think cyclones just
appear out of the blue?
Alexis: I don't know, I never
really...
Allison: No, of course you never! You're too busy
telling everyone how wonderful everything is!
Alexis: I'm a public
figure, now. People expect me to...
Allison: Lie?
Alexis: Be
encouraging! And what exactly have you been doing besides riding
around on that filthy, old thing?
Allison: Well, we can't all come
and go by bubble. Who's invention was that, Seacrest's? Of course,
even if it wasn't I'm sure he'd still take credit for it.
Alexis:
Yes, well, a lot of us are taking things that don't belong to us,
aren't we?
Allison: Now wait just a clock tick! I know it may be
difficult for that blissful, blonde brain of yours to comprehend that
someone like him could actually choose someone like me! But it's
happened... it's real. And you can wave that ridiculous wand all you
want, you can't change it! He never belonged to you, he doesn't love
you, and he never did! He loves me!
Alexis slaps her.
Allison:
(Cackles.) Feel better now?
Alexis: Yes, I do.
Allison: Good,
so do I.
She slaps Alexis. Alexis then twirls her wand skillfully
and Allison arms herself with her broom. They charge at each other
and then drop their "weapons" and beat each other
senselessly. Alexis takes Allison's hat off her head and begins to
whack her with it. Matt Giraud and another boy run in.
Matt
Giraud: Halt! In the name of Seacrest!
He grabs Allison.
Allison:
Stop! Let me go!
The
other grabs Alexis.
Alexis: Let me go, I almost had her!
Matt
Giraud: Sorry it took us so long to get here, Miss.
Allison: I
can't believe you would sink this low! To use my sister's death as a
trap to capture me?!
Alexis: I never meant for this to happen!
Alli!
Skylari swings in on a rope.
Skylari: Let the Crimson
Haired girl go!
Alexis: Skylari, how on American Idol?
Skylari:
I said let her go! Or I'll explain to all of Hollywood how
Seacrest's Matt Giraud and partner watched while Alexis the Good was
slain.
Alexis: Skylari...
Skylari: I said, let her go.
Matt
Giraud releases Allison.
Skylari: Allison, go, now.
Allison:
No, not without you.
Alexis: Skylari, please.
Skylari: Hush!
Now! Go!
Allison hesitates.
Alexis: Do it!
She runs
off.
Matt Giraud: Seize him!
Alexis: Wait, what?! What are you
doing? Stop it! In the name of goodness, stop! Don't you see? He
wasn't going to harm me, he just... he just... he loves her.
Skylari: Alexis, I'm so sorry!
Matt Giraud: Take him up to
that field there! Put him on one of those poles until he tells us
where the Idol went.
They drag him offstage.
Alexis: No, don't
hurt him! Please, don't hurt him! Skylari!!!!
[Scene
10 - No Good Deed]
Allison : Skylari!!!!
ELEKA NAHMEN NAHMEN
ATUM ATUM ELEKA NAHMEN
ELEKA NAHMEN NAHMEN ATUM ATUM ELEKA
NAHMEN
LET HIS FLESH NOT BE TORN LET HIS BLOOD LEAVE NO
STAIN,
WILL THEY BEAT HIM, LET HIM FEEL NO PAIN...
LET HIS
BONES NEVER BREAK AND HOWEVER THEY TRY TO DESTROY HIM,
LET HIM
NEVER DIE, LET HIM NEVER DIE!
ELEKA NAHMEN NAHMEN ATUM ATUM ELEKA
NAHMEN
ELEKA NAHMEN NAHMEN ATUM ATUM ELEKA... ELEKA
AH! WHAT
GOOD IS THIS CHANTING?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M READING
I
DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TRICK I OUGHT TO TRY!
SKYLARI WHERE ARE YOU?!
ALREADY DEAD OR BLEEDING?
ONE MORE DISASTER I CAN ADD TO MY
GENEROUS SUPPLY!
NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED
NO ACT OF CHARITY
GOES UNRESENTED
NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED
THAT'S MY NEW
CREED
MY ROAD OF GOOD INTENTIONS
LED WHERE SUCH ROADS ALWAYS
LEAD
NO GOOD DEED
GOES UNPUNISHED!
JAMIE ...
DOCTOR
LAMBERT...
SKYLARI...
SKYLARI!!!
ONE QUESTION HAUNTS AND
HURTS
TOO MUCH, TOO MUCH TO MENTION
WAS I REALLY SEEKING
GOOD
OR JUST SEEKING ATTENTION?
IS THAT ALL GOOD DEEDS ARE WHEN
LOOKED AT WITH AN ICE COLD EYE?
IF THAT'S ALL GOOD DEEDS ARE
MAYBE
THAT'S THE REASON WHY
NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED
ALL HELPFUL
URGES SHOULD BE CIRCUMVENTED
NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED
SURE,
I MEANT WELL, WELL LOOK AT WHAT WELL MEANT DID!
ALRIGHT, ENOUGH,
SO BE IT!
SO BE IT THEN...
LET ALL OF AMERICAN IDOL BE
AGREED
I'M WICKED THROUGH AND THROUGH
SINCE I COULD NOT
SUCCEED
SKYLARI SAVING YOU
I PROMISE NO GOOD DEED WILL I
ATTEMPT TO DO AGAIN
EVER AGAIN!
NO GOOD DEAD, WILL I
DO
AGAIN!!!!!!!!
[Scene 11 - March of the Idol
Hunters]
Idols:
GO! AND HUNT HER AND FIND HER AND KILL
HER!
Vicious Woman: Good fortune, Idol hunters!
Idols:
GO!
AND HUNT HER AND FIND HER AND KILL HER!
Rabid Man: Kill the
Idol!
Idols:
WICKEDNESS MUST BE PUNISHED
EVIL EFFECTIVELY
ELIMINATED
WICKEDNESS MUST BE PUNISHED
KILL THE IDOL!
Danny:
And, this is more than just a service to Seacrest. I have a personal
score to settle with Al... with the Idol! (Crowd Cheers.)
IT'S DUE
TO HER I'M MADE OF TIN
HER SPELL MADE THIS OCCUR
SO FOR ONCE
I'M GLAD I'M HEARTLESS
I'LL BE HEARTLESS KILLING HER!
And I am
not the only one. (Looks offstage.) Oh, come on, you! Come out and
tell them what she did to you in class that day. How you were just a
cub and she cubnapped you.
Lion: No!
Danny:
YOU SEE
THE LION ALSO
HAS A GRIEVANCE TO REPAY (Lion Roars)
IF SHE'D
LET HIM FIGHT HIS OWN BATTLES WHEN HE WAS YOUNG,
HE WOULDN'T BE A
COWARD TODAY!
Alexis: No, no, that's not the way it happened!
Tatiana, you've got to stop this, it's gone too far!
Tatiana Del
Toro: Oh, I think Allison can take care of herself.
Alexis:
Tatiana, something's been troubling me about Jamie 3 and that
cyclone.
Tatiana Del Toro: Oh yes... well, I guess it was just her
time.
Alexis: Was it? Or did you...
Tatiana Del Toro: (After A
Pause.) Now, you listen to me, Missy, you may have fooled the rest of
American Idol, Hollywood and America with this "aren't I good"
routine, but you know better. You've wanted this since the
beginning... and now you're getting what you wanted. So just smile
and wave and shut up! Good fortune, good fortune Idol hunters!
Rapid
Man: Kill her!
Vicious Woman: Kill the Idol!
WICKEDNESS MUST BE
PUNISHED
BRAVE IDOL HUNTERS I WOULD JOIN YOU IF I COULD
BECAUSE
WICKEDNESS MUST BE PUNISHED...
PUNISHED... PUNISHED...
BUT
GOOD!!!
The scene changes to Kiamo Ko. Sounds of Jasmine Murray
crying are heard offstage. The Idol (Allison) storms on,
frustrated.
Allison: Oh, for American Idol's sake, stop crying!!!
I can't listen to it anymore! Oh, you want to see your Aunt Em and
your Uncle What's-his-name again?! Then get those shoes off your
feet!!! Little brat... who takes a dead woman's shoes; you must have
been raised in a barn! Anoop! Oh, Anoop, there you are. Where are the
others? (Anoop motions away.) Anoop, please... if you don't at least
try to keep speaking you will never... (She sees Alexis.) Go
away.
Alexis: They're coming for you.
Allison: Go away!
Alexis:
Let the little girl go, and that poor little dog... Dodo.
Alexis:
I know you don't want to hear this, but someone has to say it... You
are out of control! I mean, come on! They're just shoes, let it go!
Allison, you can't go on like this.
Allison: I can do anything I
want. I am the Wicked Idol of the West! (Another cat brings her a
letter.) At last! What took you so long? (She reads it.) What's this?
Why are you bothering me with this? (She reads on.)
Alexis: What
is it? What's wrong? It's Skylari, isn't it? Is he...
Allison:
We've seen his face for the last time.
Alexis: Oh no!
Allison:
You're right... It's time I surrender. (Carries a picture of Adam
Lambert.)
Alexis: Alli.... Alli, what is it?
Allison: You can't
be found here! You must go. (Refers to a corner)
Alexis:
No.
Allison: You must leave.
Alexis: No! Alli, I'll tell them
everything.
Allison: No! They'll only turn against you.
Alexis:
I don't care!
Allison: I do! Promise me, promise me, you won't
try to clear my name... promise.
Alexis: Alright... I promise. But
I don't understand.
Allison:
I'M LIMITED
JUST LOOK AT ME,
I'M LIMITED
AND JUST LOOK AT YOU, YOU CAN DO ALL I COULDN'T DO,
ALEXIS
Allison: Here. Go on. Take this. (Hands her the
Grimmerie.)
Alexis: Alli... you know I can't read that...
Alli...
Allison: Well then, you'll have to learn
NOW IT'S UP TO
YOU
FOR BOTH OF US
NOW IT'S UP TO YOU
Allison: You're the
only friend I've ever had.
Alexis: And I've had so many friends...
but only one that mattered.
[Scene 12 - For Good]
Alexis:
I'VE
HEARD IT SAID
THAT PEOPLE COME INTO OUR LIVES FOR A
REASON
BRINGING SOMETHING WE MUST LEARN
AND WE ARE LED TO
THOSE
WHO HELP US MOST TO GROW
IF WE LET THEM
AND WE HELP
THEM IN RETURN
WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF I BELIEVE THAT'S TRUE
BUT
I KNOW I'M WHO I AM TODAY
BECAUSE I KNEW YOU
LIKE A COMMIT
PULLED FROM ORBIT,
AS IT PASSES A SUN
LIKE A STREAM THAT MEETS
A BOULDER
HALF WAY THROUGH THE WOOD
WHO CAN SAY IF I'VE BEEN
CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?
BUT, BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...
I HAVE BEEN
CHANGED
FOR GOOD...
Allison:
IT WELL MAY BE,
THAT WE WILL
NEVER MEET AGAIN
IN THIS LIFETIME
SO LET ME SAY BEFORE WE
PART
SO MUCH OF ME
IS MADE OF WHAT I LEARNED FROM YOU
YOU'LL
BE WITH ME
LIKE A HANDPRINT ON MY HEART...
AND NOW WHATEVER WAY
OUR STORIES END
I KNOW YOU HAVE RE-WRITTEN MINE
BY BEING MY
FRIEND...
LIKE A SHIP BLOWN FROM IT'S MOORING
BY A WIND OFF THE
SEA
LIKE A SEA DROP BY A SKY BIRD
IN A DISTANT WOOD
WHO CAN
SAY IF I'VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?
BUT BECAUSE I KNEW
YOU
Alexis:
BECAUSE I KNEW YOU
Both:
I HAVE BEEN
CHANGED...
FOR GOOD...
Allison:
AND JUST TO CLEAR THE AIR
I
ASK FORGIVNESS FOR THE THINGS I'VE DONE
YOU BLAME ME
FOR.
Alexis:
BUT THEN I GUESS, WE KNOW THERE'S BLAME TO
SHARE
Both:
AND NONE OF IT SEEMS TO MATTER ANYMORE!
Alexis:
LIKE A COMET PULLED FROM ORBIT AS IT PASSES A SUN...
Allison: LIKE
A SHIP BLOWN FROM ITS MOORING BY A WIND OFF THE SEA
Alexis: LIKE A
STREAM THAT MEETS A BOULDER
Allison: LIKE A SEA DROP BY A BIRD
Alexis: HALFWAY THROUGH THE WOOD
Allison: IN THE
WOOD
Alexis:
WHO CAN SAY IF I'VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE
BETTER?
Both:
I DO BELIEVE I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE
BETTER.
Alexis:
AND, BECAUSE I KNEW YOU
Allison:
BECAUSE
I KNEW YOU
Both:
BECAUSE I KNEW YOU
I HAVE BEEN CHANGED
FOR
GOOD...
[Scene 13 – Allison's Demise]
Allison: You have
to hide. No one can know you were here. Hide yourself!
Allison
drapes a scrim around the stage
Offstage chorus of women:
AND
GOODNESS KNOWS
THE WICKED'S LIVES ARE LONELY
GOODNESS KNOWS THE
WICKED DIE ALONE...
Danny and other Idol hunters run in. You can
see the silhouette of the action happening, behind the scrim.) Alexis
is downstage watching the action take place.
The mob surrounds
Allison and she is defeated with a scream the mob leaves and Alexis
comes out from hiding. She moves near the scrim.
Alexis: Alli?
Alli?
Anoop
opens the scrim, where just Allison's hat and the Crimson bottle
remain. Alexis cries, and grabs the hat, holding it against
her.
Anoop: (Handing her the bottle.) Miss, Miss Alexis.
The
next scene opens in the Idol Mansion with Seacrest & Tatiana Del
Toro.
Tatiana Del Toro: Well, I don't know why you're so
despondiary, I thought it went quite well! They seem thrilled to
shreds with their brains and their hearts, and this and that....
(Alexis enters.) Oh, Miss Alexis! I thought you'd be out
festivating.
Alexis: This was Allison's. (Holding out the
bottle.)
Seacrest: What's that you say?
Alexis: It was a
keepsake. It was her mother's. She told me so herself. I've only seen
a little, Crimson bottle like this one other time. It was right here,
in this very room. You offered me a drink from it.
Lover's song
played in background.
Seacrest: But... oh my Lord...
I AM A
SENTIMENTAL MAN
WHO ALWAYS LONGED TO BE...
a father...
Tatiana
Del Toro: So that was it. That's why she had such powers! She was a
child of both worlds!
Seacrest: *Cries*
Alexis: I want you to
leave Hollywood and American Idol. I'll make the pronouncement
myself: that the strains of Seacrestship have been too much for you
and you are taking an indefinite leave of absence! Did you hear what
I said?!
Seacrest: Yes, your goodness.
Alexis: You'd better go
get your balloon ready. Matt Giraud!
He exits.
Tatiana Del
Toro: Alexis, dear, I know we've had our miniscule differentiations
in the past...
Alexis: Matt Giraud! Tatiana, have you ever
considered how you'd fare in captivity?
Tatiana Del Toro:
What?
Alexis: (Articulated.) Captivity... prison! Personally, I
don't think you'll hold up very well. My professional opinion is that
you do not have what it takes. I hope you prove me wrong. I doubt you
will. Take her away!
Tatiana Del Toro: No!!!!
[Scene 14 -
Finale]
Idols:
GOOD NEWS! SHE'S DEAD!
THE IDOL OF THE WEST
IS DEAD!
THE WICKEDEST IDOL THERE EVER WAS
THE ENEMY OF ALL OF
US, HERE IN AMERICAN IDOL,
IS DEAD!
GOOD NEWS
GOOD
NEWS!!!
The Scarecrow (Skylari) walks on stage. He bends down &
knocks on a trap door in the floor.
Skylari: It worked!
He
opens the door & Allison climbs out.
Allison: Skylari! I
thought you'd never get here.
She touches his straw
face.
Skylari: Go ahead, touch, I don't mind. Ah, you did the best
you could. You saved my life.
Allison: You're still
beautiful.
Skylari: You don't have to lie to me.
Allison: It's
not lying... its looking at things another way.
Idols:
NO ONE
MOURNS THE WICKED
NOW AT LAST SHE'S DEAD AND GONE!
NOW AT LAST
THERE'S JOY THROUGHOUT THE LAND!
Alexis: Fellow Idols, friends, we
have been through a frightening time. There will be other times and
other things that frighten us. But if you let me, I'd like to try to
help. I'd like to try to be... Alexis the Good.
Idols:
GOOD
NEWS!!
Skylari: It's time to go.
Allison: We can never come
back to Hollywood and American Idol, can we?
Skylari: No.
Allison:
I only wish...
Skylari: What?
Allison: Alexis could know that
we're alive.
Skylari: She can't know, not if we want to be safe.
No one can ever know.
Idols:
GOOD NEWS...
Skylari:
Come...
Alexis:
WHO CAN SAY IF I'VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE
BETTER? BUT...
Allison & Alexis:
BECAUSE I KNEW
YOU...
Idols:
NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED...
Alexis:
BECAUSE
I KNEW YOU...
Allison & Alexis:
I HAVE BEEN
CHANGED...
Skylari and Allison leave through the clock
Idols:
NO
ONE MOURNS THE WICKED!
WICKED...
WICKED!!!
