A/N: Do me a favor here:JUST DON'T ASK! This is the product of a 13 year old brain at 4:30 AM after drinking 5 margharitas and 2 shots of tequila. (Yes, i drink and i'm under age. Big lightning bolts are going to come down from the heavens and kill me.)Lol. I'm taking a break from the usual HG/SS drabbles. Enjoy, but remember that I will except no legal responsibility for any brain damage or psychological harm this ficlet will cause. Read at your own risk.
Everyone sat in the dungeons, waiting for Professor Snape. When he finally emerged, everyone gasped, and a few people fainted. He had WASHED HIS HAIR! All the grease was gone! He did this because he wanted to look prettyful for his sweetie-pie, Hermione Granger.
"What are you all gaping at? I thought you were supposed to be working on your potion to cure-''
He cut off at that moment and started blushing, becauseHermione walked into the classroom (she's actually late for class)and gave him a big kiss on the cheek and said, "You look wonderful, Sevvie-Poo!"
This made Snape so giddy that he started singing the 'If You're Happy And You Know It Clap Your Hands' song, with the class clapping away.Crabbe andGoylegot up on a desk and started break-dancing.
The rest of the school was hangin' ten in the Great Hall, which Dumbledore had turned into a giant beach, perfect for surfing. Filch was giving them surfing lessons. Neville was obviously the best surfer by far. (But you could've guessed that, right y'all?)
Snape's potions class marched in singing 'Oh When The Saints Go Marching In' in magically magnified voices. All the surfers joined in. After that,Hermione and Snape sang the Barney 'I Love You' song to each other, and Snape got out an engagement ring and proposed to Hermione.
Everyone cheered. Then they sang the theme songs to Sesame Street, Teletubbies, Arthur, and The Big Comfy Couch. When they were finished, Dumbledore, wearing nothing but a canary yellow Speedo and a pair of bright blue thick woolen socks, sailed to the beach in a hot-pink sailboat and married the happy couple.
An owl swooped in about five minutes later. Its letter proclaimed that You-Know-Who had accidentally slipped on freshly waxed linoleum flooringand impaled himself upon a stale french fry during afternoon tea, dying in agony. Everybody cheered!
From then on, Hogwarts was renamed 'Duuuuude It's Like This Totally Radical School Where You Learn Magical Stuff' and everyone lived happily ever after.