A/N: I do not own Inuyasha, nor the lyrics of REO's song
CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING
The argument began as most of theirs do. Kagome needed to go home. She needed to catch up on school work, and take her tests. Inuyasha wouldn't let her go. Her run to the well began easy enough. It was early morning, the sun hadn't even risen. Inuyasha wasn't around, and she had a head start. Kagome was beginning to think he had alarms set up to trigger when she got so close to the well. And this time she nearly made it ...
"You can't go, wench. I won't let you." He growled, blocking her way to the well.
"Inuyasha, get out of my way, or I'll say it! You know I will." Kagome threatened. She made to move around him, and he grabbed her, his hands on her arms, holding tight. She opened her mouth, and he knew what was coming. He did the only thing he could think of to stop her from saying it ... he kissed her.
Kagome stared, eyes wide with shock when his lips finally released hers. Inuyasha dropped her arms, a faint blush on his cheeks. He hadn't meant to, but it seemed like the thing to do.
Not looking at her, he began to speak "I'm not going to let you go, so forget it!" He turned his back on her, arms crossed. Frowning, not sure why he did what he had, but thought all the same, 'It's about time. I just can't ... I can't fight this feeling any longer. And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow.' He shook his head as if to shake the thought from it.
Still shocked, not sure what just happened, she reached her hand out to touch him. "Inuyasha?" she asked softly.
Not looking at her, he sighed and looked skywards, trying to find meaning. His thoughts raced through his mind. 'What started out as friendship, has grown stronger. I only wish I had the strength to let it show." He turned to look at her, seeing the concern in her eyes. Her beautiful smokey blue eyes. 'I tell myself that I can't hold out forever. I said there is no reason for my fear.' He took a step nearer to her, wanting to touch her, wanting to hold her again but said instead, "I need you here. Because ... Cause I feel so secure when we're together. I can protect you better when you're with me. Which is why I can't let you leave." He glanced at her, waiting for her reaction.
"But I'll be back. You know I will, Inuyasha." Tears began to well up in her eyes. 'What is wrong with him? He's acting so differently. Did he just kiss me?' Trying to hold back the tears, she pleaded, "Just for today, please? I need to get supplies, and ... and I want a bath. I need to see mama, and catch up on my studies."
"Feh. I don't know why you're still worried about those test things. You don't need them here." He hated to see her cry, and he could see the tears starting. "Go on, get out of here. Be back by sunset though, or I'll come get you."
"Thank you Inuyasha. I'll be back then, I promise!" Kagome gave a cheery wave, and jumped in the well before he could think about it any longer.
Inuyasha continued to stare at the well for several minutes before finding a close tree to sit against. He let his thoughts drift away ... Why Kagome seemed to weigh on his mind, and why it felt so right to kiss her. 'Kagome ... You give my life direction. You make everything so clear. When you are with me, I know what to do. I feel stronger in myself.' He looked to the well, a smile lighting his lips. Thinking of the times he'd spent without her, and how much she had been on his mind. 'And even as I wander, I'm keeping you in sight. You're a candle in the window, On a cold, dark winter's night.'
After Kikyou, a relationship was the last thing he ever wanted. But it seems the more he thought about it, it dawned on him just how much of a relationship he did have with Kagome. He closed his eyes and shook his head softly. 'I really only wanted a friend, but now it's more. And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might.' He groaned. 'Closer? Yes, we are getting closer. I just ... I ... I can't fight this feeling anymore. I've forgotten what I started fighting for.'
'Maybe it is time. Time to give up fighting. Time to let her know. It's time to bring this ship into the shore, And throw away the oars, forever. Because ...Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore.' This thought brought a smile to his lips. The thought of giving in to his feelings, and letting them show. Telling her at last what he really felt.
He looked to the well again and up to the sky. He could see the sun dropping behind the trees, and knew it would be a short time before she would pop her head up over the well. That girl from the future, stumbling into his life, turning it upside down. 'My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you. I've been running round in circles in my mind. Not sure what I wanted, or what you meant to me.'
Rising to his feet, he stalked to the well and peered over the rim. He growled
in annoyance. "Feh. I knew she's be late." He looked at the sun. There was
still time before sunset, but he ignored that thought as he jumped into the
well. 'Where ever you go, Kagome, I'll follow.
And it always seems that I'm following you, girl, Cause you take me to the
places that alone I'd never find.'
He climbed out of the well, and looked outside the well house. He didn't see anyone, nor did he hear Kagome anywhere nearby. He ran swiftly to the house, and jumped to the roof just outside her window. He could see her inside, laying face down on her bed. He frowned. 'She's sleeping?' He slid the window open and crawled in quietly.
He stood over her with a gentle smile on his lips watching her sleep. If she had opened her eyes to look at him now, she wouldn't have believed what she saw... but then again, she might. He reached out a hand to brush away the hair laying a crossed her face. "What have you done to me?" He whispered softly to the sleeping girl. Kneeling, his thoughts from earlier crept back into his mind, 'I should just tell her because ... Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore. I've forgotten what I started fighting for.'
She murmured in her sleep and he leaned closer to hear what she said. "Inuyasha." her voice was soft and sweet. His smile widened. He'd heard her mumble in her sleep many times, and thought that maybe, just maybe her feelings for him were the same as his for her. His name crossed her lips a lot, even in sleep.
He reached out a hand and shook her shoulder gently. "Kagome." He said softly. He loved saying her name. "Kagome." He repeated.
Her eyes opened, and she stared up at him blearily. "Inu ... yasha?" She mumbled, half raising on the bed. Blinking, she tried to focus and clear her head. "Oh! What time is it?" She sat up, worried now that she had been late again.
He moved away and said gruffly, "You're not late. Not yet. You would have been if I hadn't come to get you though." He glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes. She still sat on the bed blinking owlishly. He sighed. Maybe she needed to rest, comfortably, in her time after all. "Do you need more time?" He asked softly.
She stared at him for a moment. 'Why is he here? He normally doesn't come to get me unless I'm really late.' She thought back to what he'd said before she left. 'He said he needed me ... needed me for more than just his shard detector. He feels secure when I'm with him? Is that why he's here?' She rose and walked over to him. Looking into his eyes, she asked softly, "Inuyasha? Is everything all right?" She placed a hand lightly on one of his.
He stared down at her, his eyes going wide for a moment. 'I should tell her... not now. I can't do it now.' He looked down at her hand on his, and tighten his fingers around hers for a moment. "Feh." He said in his slightly contemptuous voice. "Nothing's wrong. You were just going to be late." He dropped her hand and smirked. "So I had to come and get you."
She looked at him for a moment longer and smiled softly. Nodding her head she said, "I would have been late. Thank you for coming to get me." She turned to finish packing her bag, leaving him to stare at her.
Watching her add the few items scattered on the floor of her room to the large backpack, he thought again of telling her everything. He was so close. Then he dropped to his knees beside her and began to help pack. He glanced at her and was surprised to see her smiling at him in a way that made him think she knew more than what he thought she did. He smiled back, his resolve weakening. He opened his mouth to say those words he'd been thinking when she jumped to her feet with a cry and ran from the room. He listened to her footsteps on the stairs as she called out to her mother for the package of food she had purchased for this trip.
Looking at the still opened door, knowing he wouldn't be able to say anything now, he whispered into the empty room, "If I have to crawl upon the floor, Come crashing through your door, Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore."
He stood and schooled his face back into his smirking mask. Leaning against the wall, he waited, his arms folded on his chest. When she returned, she packed the wrapped boxes her mother gave her. His eyes warmed as she chattered on about books, school, her bath, Buyo, Souta, her mama, all the while packing, going in and out of her room, going to another room to change clothing... just being herself.
When at last she was ready, he reached down and picked up the heavy bag. Without saying a word, he walked her to the well house, and began the trip to the other side. He helped her up the well, and over the edge before jumping out himself. The sun had dropped and evening settled on the clearing. She sighed happily as she began the walk to the village.
He followed, hiding a smile behind her. Shaking his head, trying to rid it of his thoughts, he couldn't help but repeat softly, "If I have to crawl upon the floor, Come crashing through your door, Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore"
Post Script: You know, there are some songs from your teens that are just too good to forget. This is one of them. Inuyasha struggles and fights what his feelings are everyday, all the time. Those closest to him know this and understand without him having to say anything out loud. I guess that's what having good friends are for - letting you be just who you are without saying anything.