I wanted to take a crack at a humor fic. This chapter was my idea for a total humor fic. I initially thought this chapter would juss be it……but my mind thought of more romance/humor to add for additional chappies.
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Sakura pressed her palms gently against the classroom door and turned her head to one side, placing one ear against the door, trying to hear what her teammates were doing.
Bzzz went a fly past her face. Grr she growled in annoyance, but immediately tried to quiet down as she heard the teen boys speak.
"I want to f…you," said Sasuke. Damn fly! thought Sakura as it buzzed past her while Sasuke spoke, preventing her from hearing his fourth word.
"I want to f…you, too," Naruto replied in an excited voice. Grrrrrr Sakura's mind practically screamed when the insect buzzed by again.
Hearing footsteps moving towards the door, Sakura quickly rushed away from it and pushed her entire body against the wall near the door's hinges. The door swung almost-fully open, just shy of hitting her. Stupid Naruto thought the pink-haired girl who knew the energetic blond would be the only one to, probably kick open, the door this wide (which he in fact did, with a Hiyah! as he did so, not liking the traditional pushing of the door).
Sakura was about to move from her immobile state when her blue and white-clad teammate stopped, one hand on the door's exterior. Why isn't he going? she thought. The nervous girl let out a quiet breath when that hand gave the door a gentle push, letting it close slowly on its own, as he followed the jumpy blond.
Phew, that was close! How would Sasuke-kun react if he knew I was eavesdropping? Her teal eyes followed the exiting pair. She raised a hand to her a chin and wondered what were they talking about in there? As she curiously wondered, her unfocused eyes were still glued on them, not noticing as Sasuke's hand moved to Naruto's waist. Immediately sensing that something felt odd, she looked at the forefront where the boys were still walking.
Hm, what's wrong with this picture? she asked herself as her index finger went to scratch her head. Analyzing time! Okay. Hand. Waist. Hand on waist. Sasuke's hand on Naruto's waist!
"OH. MY. GOD," she said slowly, her mind processing new information. "They're gay. They're gay!" And what did they go to do? "Fuh," she said to herself. That damn fly! Now I don't know what they went do to! "What words begin like that?" she asked frantically. "Fuh," she reiterated. "They went to fuh. They went to fuhck." Her eyes snapped open. "OH. MY. GOD. They went to fuck!"
"Uhh," someone let out nervously.
"Huh?" she asked and turned around, seeing Iruka-sensei and her perverted sensei together, immobile like children caught eating candy before dinner.
Iruka gave a big (fake) smile, "No, no, no," he said to her while waving his open hands to the right and left. "We're not going to do that," he continued reassuringly.
"That's right, Sakura," told her sensei in a serious voice. "We just, we're going to eat ramen. Right, Iruka?" Iruka nodded quickly. "Ja!" they yelled before vanishing before eyes.
What the hell was that about? she asked. Anyway, back to more important issues. Sasuke and Naruto are gay. Sasuke is gay! She went quiet before something built up within her. "Ahhhhhhhhhh!" she squealed in sheer excitement, her yaoi pride kicking in. I must tell Ino! With that, she sprinted off to the Yamanaka flower shop.
Hearing the bell ring, Ino faced the door, seeing her best friend, chest heaving, breathing hard, face flushed, as well as with a huge smile plastered on her face.
"Inooooooo!" she screamed, only to resume panting.
"What, forehead-girl?" she asked coldly, glaring at the girl in high spirits.
"Sa (pant) suke." More panting. Huge smile remaining.
"He asked you out," she spat. It was more of a statement than a question. Why else would she be this happy figured Ino's mind.
The pink-haired girl shook her head. "No," she said with a smile, which grew bigger when she said, "He's gay!"
Ino's eyes opened wide in shock and her mouth agape. "No way!" she exclaimed, disbelieving her friend.
"Yup! It's true! He went to have sex with Naruto! Ahhhh!" she squealed while jumping up and down, her elbows bent at her sides and her lightly fisted hands near the sides of her face.
"Why are you so happy?" asked the blonde utterly confused.
"Yaoi pride!!!!" screamed Sakura at the top of her lungs, continuing to jump up and down and let out girlish squeals.
Surprised at her friends behavior, but also not able to tolerate it, Ino grabbed Sakura's hips and pulled her against her, connecting pink their lips together.
Sakura, now the utterly confused one, ceased all movement, until slowly bringing a hand to touch her lips. "Ino?" The teal eyes searched Ino's blue ones.
Ino, wanting to come out with the truth, mimicked Sakura and feigned a smile and excitement. "Yuri pride!" she screamed before returning to her normal manner.
Confused, Sakura asked, "What about Sasuke?"
Ino let out a sigh and admitted, "I always liked you, but you always liked Sasuke. I pretended to like him just to touch you while we "competed" for his love."
Sakura looked at her friend in a new light for a long moment. "I think, I think I like you, too."
Giving Sakura a seductive look and with a slight smirk, Ino inquired, "Would you like to come to the back room with me?"
Noticing the look, Sakura replied, "Sure, I'd love to come with you."
Naruto kicked the Yamanaka Flower Shop door open and screamed excitedly, "Hiyah! Sa—huh?" He looked to the left. "Huh?" He looked to the right. "Huh?" "Where's Sakura-chan? The village kids said they saw her sprint here."
Not wanting to be there at all, Sasuke touched Naruto's elbow. "Come on, dobe, I'll treat you to ramen."
Naruto's eyes lit up and a huge smile formed on his face. "Yosh! Let's—"A loud crash prevented the blond from finishing his statement. "What was that?" he asked Sasuke, trying to sound tough, though he was as scared as a kitten inside.
"It came from there," he answered, pointing to the back room. The boys moved to the door leading to the back room and each pressed an ear to it.
"Nn," the shinobi recognized as Ino, "I want to f…you." Naruto gave Sasuke a questioning look. He shrugged, not knowing what was said either because of the dratted flowerpot that fell to the floor.
"F…me, Ino!" Another dratted flowerpot.
The teens looked at each other as they heard continuous clattering and rustling.
The azure-eyed blond looked at his friend, "Why are they doing that in there?"
"Girls are stupid," was the terse response.
Clink. Crash. Naruto's and Sasuke's shoulders crunched up to their ears as they heard more cacophonous blares.
Naruto nodded, though not wanting to be rude and admit the girls were stupid. "They should do it at the training grounds, like us. There's more room there!"
Sasuke repeated, with a head shaking in hopelessness, "Girls are stupid."
"I know," Naruto agreed. "I mean, who'd fight in a flower shop?" He shook his head too, but then stopped and looked at Sasuke. Remembering that he was hungry, the blond jumped up and grabbed Sasuke's wrist. "Come on, teme! You said you'd buy me ramen!"
That being said, the teen boys traveled to Ichiraku's, leaving the girls to "fight" all they wanted.
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Neway, I'm rating this chapter as T. I think future chapters will get more rated M. so if wanna read more of this fic, it'll be in the M sections when I post more chapters.
