Title: This Little Light of Mine
Summary: CPCoulter's Dalton-Verse. After Katherine's death, David receives a video diary from her. DavidxKatherine, hints of DavidxWes.
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee and I don't own Dalton-verse, either.
A/N: Well, not what I planned to write tonight, but this is what came spilling out. Hope you like it! By the dubs, I've crossposted it at fanfiction and livejournal, so take your pick.
It hit David hard, losing Katherine. It wasn't like he didn't expect it—he'd seen her slowly fading for almost a year now—but actually seeing her eyes close for the last time, feeling her hand go slack in his. He'd broken down there and then.
Wes had carefully led him away and the other Windsor boys had given him space for the next few days.
The funeral was miserable for him, seeing Katherine paler than normal, her light gold curls shockingly bright against the soft silk lining of the coffin.
After the funeral, Mrs. Rivers pulled him aside and gave him Katherine's locket, and wordlessly hugged him, fat, sad tears rolling down her cheeks. Mr. Rivers took his wife by the elbow and led her away as Wes appeared by his best friend's side.
Neither David or Wes said much on their way back to Dalton, but just before David retreated into their shared dorm, Wes gave him a CD. "Katherine made me promise to give this to you. She said you should watch it when you feel like you can."
David had nodded and taken the CD before shutting the door and curling up on his bed to sob.
Now, three hours later, David was sitting on his bed, sunlight dappling over the room. It felt entirely too calming and cheerful a day for Katherine to be underneath six feet of dirt, but maybe it was fitting too—Katherine wouldn't have liked the rain. She never had, instead preferring to dance in the warm sunlight.
David put the CD in the drive and a window popped up, labeled Katherine. Shakily, he clicked on the sole icon labeled Open Me and saw a single video file labeled Dear David. He opened it, and a Windows Media Player window opened, and there was Katherine, frozen, smiling into the camera.
He waited for it to load before pressing play, and the frozen Katherine began to move.
"Hey, Davey. What's up? I bet school's going well for you—when hasn't it?—and your little sister's probably called you a dozen times this month already and you're talked to her through every one. The twins are probably down the hall, harassing that new boy—Kurt, you said his name was?—and Wes is probably sitting with you, watching this." It was surreal, watching his deceased girlfriend casually ask him about life, and his heart ached at seeing her so alive.
"As I'm recording this, it's New Years Eve, and you're in New York with your friends. That's good, you should have fun with them. They love you as much as I do—just as friends, not as a girlfriend. At least, I hope not, because no one could ever love you the way I love you, Davey. And I mean it, I love you. As in wish-for-forever love you. Believe me when I say it, because I mean it. I love you, Davey. I love you, love you, love you.
"God, do I ever love you. David, I love you so very, very much." Katherine said fiercely, a tear rolling down her cheek. "Don't ever doubt that. Don't ever doubt that I didn't love you, because I sure as hell did."
The blonde girl paused, taking a deep, shuddering breath. "Davey, if I weren't dying, I could see myself having a future with you. Our children would be beautiful, your eyes, my hair, but I know that it's impossible. Even if I live to graduate high school, I wouldn't do that to a kid. This sickness, it might go away temporarily, but it'll always come back. If I don't die now and I do live to have kids, I'd just die when they were little, and I couldn't do that to them, and I can't do that to you.
"As it is, I want you to find the most perfect girl you can, and I want you to marry her. She's going to be beautiful, and she's going to laugh at your corny jokes and she's going to love children. She's going to want to dance and sing with you and she'll pretend to care about soccer and whatever sport you're going on about while secretly wishing you would shut up and kiss her. You'll propose in some goofy way you think is romantic and she thinks is kind of dorky but perfectly sweet and she'll accept in a heartbeat. You'll get married at the wedding of her dreams and you'll have children who will be just as beautiful and kind as the both of you are.
"You're going to love her, in the best way you can, and you're going to tell her about me. If she isn't right for you, she won't understand. But, knowing her, she's going to understand, and she'll realize we would have been best friends, if it weren't for my death. As it is, I feel like she's going to be my sister, and the only thing we'll have in common is that we love you with our whole hearts." Katherine pulled a tissue from the box and dabbed her eyes.
"Look at me, crying over something I want to happen. And I do want it to happen, Davey. I want you to live a full and happy life, never regret anything, because I sure don't. I'll never regret falling in love with you, Davey. If it were up to me, I'd hold onto you and never let go, but I can't continue to hurt you like this. I'm going home, Davey. I know you don't believe what I do, but I'm going home to heaven, and I can't let you blame yourself for that.
"Until then, I'm going to live my life and I'm giving this CD to Wes. After I'm gone, he'll give it to you. If I live a whole 'nother year, I'll make a new one, but to be honest, I don't think I'll live that long. That's why I'm giving this to Wes as soon as you all get back from New York."
Katherine smiled at the camera, her eyes still tear-bright. "He'll take care of you, Davey. He promised me that he'll always take care of you. I don't know just how he'll do it, but he promised he wouldn't give it to you until I was gone. I guess this is my way of making sure I have a final goodbye and there isn't anything left unsaid.
"And there's a few more things to say, the most important of which is this: It wasn't your fault, David. It was never your fault. I'll tell you more about this later, when we can talk in person, but I need you to know it wasn't your fault, and nothing you did could have ever made it happen or not happen. Never, ever blame yourself. Ever, okay?"
She looked down, playing with the hospital blankets in her lap, before looking back up at the camera. "Remember how we met, Davey? We were serving community service hours at the preschool and the little girl I was playing with started singing This Little Light of Mine, and you sang along and told her she had the prettiest voice you'd ever heard? She was so happy that you did it, so incredibly proud that someone would compliment her singing."
David chuckled despite the pang of sorrow at the reminder. Katherine had been wearing a baggy t-shirt and her hair was thrown into a messy braid and she had finger paint and glitter streaked on her face and clothes, but she was still the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen.
"And then Emma—that was her name—asked if you were my boyfriend, and you said that you weren't but you wished you were and proceeded to ask me out to a movie that evening?" Katherine grinned conspiratorially into the camera. "I didn't want to go out with you then, but Emma looked so hopeful I agreed and then our date was the best date I'd ever been on and that's when I started to fall in love with you.
"Anyway, I've always thought of that as our song, you know, this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine?" Katherine giggled, smiling even as tears glistened in her eyes. "It'd be hard to dance to, but I think we could do it. We've danced to worse music before. Anyway, my mom caught me humming it awhile ago, and she showed me this song that was basically an extension of it, and I want to share it with you, because I mean every word of it. I got some help from some of the girls in my house, and they had a few pictures and clips of us that I'll edit in later.
"You've always sung for me, and so it's my turn to sing for you. You'll probably sing for me again in the future, but for now, I just want you to listen and understand, okay, Davey?"
Her eyes glistened with tears, and David felt his eyes welling up as well.
Katherine took a deep breath and sang.
There's a little flame inside us all
Some shine bright, some shine small
The rains will come and the waters rise
But don't you ever lose your light
Her eyes were closed as she sang from memory. A picture appeared on the screen, Katherine hugging David, both of their faces glowing as they embraced.
In this life you will know
Love and pain, joy and sorrow
So when it hurts, when times get hard
Don't forget whose love you are
The picture flickered into a clip of them slow dancing together in Windsor's common room, Katherine with her head on David's shoulder. David's eyes welled up as Katherine sang the chorus softly, watching himself dance with his love.
This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine, gonna let it shine
A montage of pictures flickered across the screen during the next two verses, both posed and candids, pictures taken by Wes and Katherine's roommate Gracie.
May you live each day with no regret
Make the most of every chance you get
Let your eyes get wide when you look at the stars
With the same sense of wonder as a child's heart
With the ones you love treasure the time,
And for those who are gone keep their memories alive
Hold on to your dreams don't ever let go
There's a fire inside you burning with hope
Katherine sang the chorus, and her voice broke a little on the last word, but she seemed to straighten up and smile sadly at the camera before singing the next two verses. Pictures slowly flickered into the screen, and a soundless clip obviously taken during one of their co-ed movie nights where the person holding the camera captured Katherine curled up into David's side, recording them laughing and talking and then David kissing Katherine on the top of the head.
There will be days when you want to give up
When the clouds settle in
But after the rain comes the sun
Don't you ever forget,
Don't forget, love, don't forget.
And one day there will be no more pain
And we will finally see each other's face
So until then I'm gonna try
To brave the dark and let my little light shine
The pictures slowly disappeared off the screen as Katherine repeated the chorus twice before humming the last line and singing "There's a little light inside us all."
"I love you, Davey. Forever and always," Katherine whispered, her voice cracking slightly. "You're supposed to call me in five minutes and we'll talk until the New Year, okay? I love you, Davey."
With a wave at the camera and a swipe at the tears on the cheeks, the screen went black.
With a shaking hand, David closed the laptop and stared at his hands.
He would have to live his life, for Katherine.
So, how'd I do?
R&R?