His Girl Faraday

by MayorMimii

Despite often being swept away by his noir fantasies, rookie prosecutor Sebastian Debeste would stop at nothing to lure the girl he's sweet on—Kay Faraday—into investigating the Earl William's murder case with him, even if it's dragging her away from the case she's meant to be working on with Raymond. (A 'His Girl Friday parody)

Sebastian Debeste's office was empty, that morning, save for a single fedora sitting on the desk. Entering his office, he sticks a lollipop in his mouth, then pauses for a moment, staring at the hat and trying to place where he'd seen it before.

"Say...Isn't this the same hat Mr. Edgeworth's father wore?" He mutters to himself, walking over to pick it up and examine it. "What's it doing here?"

After inspecting it for a bit, he stands in front of a long mirror and—out of sheer curiosity—wears it. It's a little too big for him. In fact, the fedora nearly falls over his eyes! He inspects himself in the mirror looking quite pleased. "Straight out of a noir film, I believe!"

Suddenly, the world around him desaturates. The clambering and chattering from outside are drowned out by soft music from a vinyl player that has just appeared on his table. The lollipop in his mouth transforms into a cigarette, and the red scholarship jacket hanging off the coat tree fades into a tattered, grey trench coat. Settling in his office chair, he crosses his knees on the desk and tips the fedora over to shade his eyes.

"Name's Sebastian Debeste, rookie prosecutor. I've spent my life in this concrete merry-go-round watching the same crimes play out year after year, like a jukebox with but one, sad tune. It's a city with no one to trust, and no one to love. Just then, the door opened, and the light walked in…"

"Kay Faraday strolled through my door like a tigress in a Burmese orphanage—raven black hair and gams for hours. No dame her age could afford a coat like that, and the kinda makeup she had on gave me a good idea how she got it. The girl had bad news written on her like the October of '29."

"Sebastian? What're you mumbling about?"

"Kay lowered her lashes until they almost cuddled her cheeks and slowly raised them again, like a theatre curtain. I was gettin' to know that trick, one that was supposed to make me roll over on my back with all four paws in the air."

Sebastian continues his monologue but says nothing, so—with no chairs available—Kay perches on the edge of his desk. She'd been sent to fetch the fedora Raymond left in Sebastian's office (during his visit before discovering Sebastian was out), but had forgotten by the time she arrived and is now sitting with her chin resting in her hand, trying to recall what she came for. Upon spotting the lollipop, sticking out of Sebastian's mouth, she sits up with interest. "Oh, may I have one, please?"

"I dig into my breast pocket, extract a pack, toss it to Kay, and she deftly catches it. 'Thank you.' She finishes lighting the cigarette, takes a puff—blowing some into my face—and fans out the match."

"So how long's it been?" Asks Sebastian, looking up at her with a dramatic gaze. A little startled by the sudden question, she takes the lollipop out of her mouth and asks, "How long's what been?"

"You know…" He lowers his legs and leans forward. "How long's it been since we've last seen each other?"

Kay gazes at the ceiling in thought. "Um, let's see…I stayed in Zheng Fa a few days—then Japan another…Oh, about a couple of weeks, I guess. Seems like yesterday to me."

"Maybe it was yesterday, Kay. Been seeing me in your dreams?" She tries to interject, but he carries on, "I've been seeing you in my dreams. You know, Kay, I'd know you anytime—"

He grows lyrical and is about to start towards Kay, as she joins in mockingly, with an exaggerated nasally tone, "—any place, anywhere—" He sits back down. "Oh, you're repeating yourself, Sebastian. That's the speech you made the night you confessed."

"Well, I notice you still remember it."

"How could I forget it? You ripped it straight off from that noir movie people won't shut up about—"

"You know, Kay, I sort of wish you hadn't given me the icy mitt."

"…Given you the what?"

"Turned me down, made me lose faith in myself, gave me a feeling I wasn't wanted."

"Ohh." She chuckles and pats his back condescendingly. "Ah, well, that's what I turned you down for, Junior!"

Frustrated, he bends the baton in his hand. "Bushwa, don't you see, Kay? I'm stuck on you! We've got something between us nothing can change."

Kay considers for a moment. "Well, I suppose that's true, in a way. I am fond of you, Sebastian…"

He smiles, so she proceeds, "…If only you weren't such an idiot."

The baton springs back and slaps his cheek, educing tears in his eyes. "Phonus Balonus! N-Now, that's not a nice thing to say..."

"Then why did you promise me not to argue with whatever answer I gave you, even if it meant I'd turn you down?"

"Well, Kay, I promised myself to live so long I let you go, but I'd probably die trying."

"No kidding! This morning you even hired an airplane to write—" And she gestures above to indicate skywriting. "'Kay, don't be hasty—remember my ahoge. Sebastian!' The whole prosecutorial office left the building for twenty minutes to watch."

"Well, you can't see it through this hat, but—" He taps the fedora. "—I've still got it."

"Ugh, look, Sebastian, you'll have to stop phoning me several times a day—writing a dozen letters—all the rest of it, because I'm—"

"Let's not fight, Kay. Tell you what," He interjects, "You can come back to work with me, and if we find we can't get along in a friendly way, we'll date instead."

"What?!"

"I haven't any hard feelings."

She sighs. "Sebastian, you're wonderful, in the most loathsome sort of way. Now, would you mind keeping quiet long enough for me to remember what I came up here for!?"

Sebastian turns away, reaching for his coat. "Sure, we'll have some lunch and you can tell me everything."

"I have a lunch date. I just want—"

"You can break it, can't you?"

"No, I can't—"

"Sure you can! Come on."

Sebastian is just about to walk out the door when a ringing telephone stops him in his tracks and forces him to turn back. Meanwhile, Kay stands staring at him, speechless. "You—you—"

She grabs one of his textbooks to hurl at him, but he ducks and it narrowly misses.

"You're losing your eye, Kay, you used to be able to pitch better than that." He wags a finger at her then answers the ringing phone. "Hello…Yeah…What? Flatfoot! Well, what can I do for you?"

Edgeworth sits at his desk, talking into the phone, "What? What're you talking about? This is Edgeworth, not Gumshoe!"

"Flatfoot! You can't do that to me! Not today, of all days!"

Edgeworth begins sputtering in confusion. "What—What's the matter with you, are you drunk!? I said I'm not—"

"Jumping Jehosophat, he hung up on me!" Sebastian eyes the phone indignantly before slamming it back into the switch hook. "How do you like that? Everything happens to me—with 365 days the year—today has to be the day!"

"What's the matter?"

"Flatfoot's the only detective on the team who can investigate with me and his wife picks this morning to have a baby."

"Gummy? I didn't know Gummy's married…"

"I don't care whether he is or isn't. He's supposed to be investigating the Earl Williams case and there he is—pacing up and down the hospital! Is there no sense of honor left in this country?"

"Well, haven't you got anybody else?"

"There's nobody else on the team available! This'll break me, unless—" He stares at Kay, then a light breaks. "Kay!"

Kay jumps up and backs away. "Oh, no!"

Sebastian gets up and walks 'round the room after her. "You've got to help me, Kay."

"Scram, Svengali!"

"It'll bring us together, Kay, just the way I picture us!"

"That's what I'm afraid of. 'Anytime—any place—anywhere!'"

"Don't razz, Kay, this is bigger than anything that's happened to us. Don't do it for me—do it for justice!"

"Listen, you rambling, air-headed idiot—" She stops, wheels 'round, grabs him by his tie, and pulls him in. "I'm taking a plane to Zheng Fa tonight. I'll be investigating a case there with an attorney, Mr. Shields, and won't be seeing you again for another two weeks! You hear? I've already got someone to help!"

They stare at each other for a moment, then she snatches the fedora off his head. "And I'm taking his hat too!"

She is just about to leave when Sebastian snaps out of his shock and calls out after her, "Kay, wait! This…Mr. Yields—"

"Shields. Raymond Shields."

"Right, right. So this fellow…How many years of experience does he have?"

"Hm? Um…About twenty, I guess."

"Well, where is he now?"

Kay turns to him questioningly, then points a thumb towards the door. "Uh…He's in the waiting room at the moment."

Sebastian puts his coat back on. "Say, could I meet him?" But before Kay could answer, he pulls her out the door with him.

Lawyers converse in the public office, but stop as Kay and Sebastian enter the room. Sebastian, at this point, has let go of Kay's hand to run ahead, reaching the desks by the waiting room door. Before Kay catches up, he passes by Ema and whispers to her, "Have Mr. Edgeworth call me at Kay's usual restaurant in twenty minutes."

He then barges into the waiting room. Raymond is sitting on the bench next to a much younger man. Ignoring Raymond, Sebastian strides over to the young man, seizes his hand, and vigorously shakes it as he says, "Why, you must be the great attorney Kay's told me so much about! About 20 years of experience, huh?"

Raymond registers amazement at this. The young man, more amazed than Raymond, could only mutter, "Th-There must be some mistake. I've only begun recently."

"A rookie!" Tut-tutting, he turns to Kay, who's leaning in the doorway with her arms folded, "Kay, why didn't you tell me?"

Kay shakes her head at Sebastian's antics, but can't help smiling as he seizes the young man's hand once more and continues, "Congratulations again on passing the bar test, Mr. Shields!"

"But my name—"

"Uh, Sebastian?" Raymond finally got up to address him.

Sebastian turns slightly but doesn't release young man's hand. "Yeah? You'll have to excuse me—I'm busy with Mr. Shields here."

Raymond takes hold of Sebastian's coat and shakes it to get his attention, but Sebastian only wheels 'round to say, "I've just told you I was busy with Mr. Raymond Shields!"

"I'm Raymond Shields!"

Sebastian drops the young man's hand, and points to Raymond. "You're Mr. Shields?"

"Yeah."

Then, turning to the young man, he goes on, "Then who are you?"

"My name's Phoenix Wright."

"Well, Mr. Wright, is this any concern of yours?" Sebastian points from him to Raymond and back, looking a little cross. Wright shakes his head, prompting him to sternly continue, "Then I must ask you to keep your schnozzle out of my beeswax!"

Wright isn't quite sure what he's done wrong, but he slinks back to his seat as Sebastian turns to Raymond, reaching for his hand but grabbing the umbrella instead, beginning to shake the handle up and down, as he says, "This is a pleasure, Mr. Shields, and I'm sorry about the misunderstanding."

Raymond tries to shift the umbrella, calling Sebastian's attention to it, and offers his hand instead.

"Oh, I thought there was something funny..." Sebastian takes Raymond's arm and leading him toward the elevator, gets on, "Come on, Mr. Shields."

"Where are we going?"

"Why, I'm going to treat you two to lunch—didn't Kay tell you?"

Raymond gives a quizzical look back at Kay, who mouths, "Never mind, just play along."

As the elevator door opens, Sebastian begins practically shoving Raymond in, "After you, Mr. Shields." Raymond disappears inside as Sebastian turns toward Kay. "Come on, Kay, my treat!" He jumps into the elevator, but in a second, he hops back out. "Oh—after you, Kay!" With a look of disgust, Kay gets in. Sebastian follows and the door shuts on them.

"I hate this season. The weather sucks up all the slime and filth in the streets and pours it back down on ya. But then, that's what this city's all about. I could tell Kay was a regular at this joint. One, because the whole prosecutorial office knew and two, because of the way the waiter walked towards her grinnin' from ear to ear."

"Don't tell me it's you, Kay!"

Extending her hand for a shake, Kay beams back at the waiter, "The one and only. How are you, Gus?"

"I can't complain."

"Well, I can," Sebastian interjects, studying the menu, "It's a nasty day, I need some rum in my coffee."

Kay and Raymond give Sebastian a look, and he hurriedly changes his mind. "Make that coffee with cream."

Raymond nods. "Good idea. How about you, Kay?"

"Oh—I'll take the same, I guess." She discards the menu.

Gus turns to Raymond. "And you, sir?"

"Just coffee."

"And don't put any rum in it, Gus!" Sebastian adds. Gus gives him a look and goes.

With a sigh, Sebastian smiles at the others and says, "So you're investigating a case together?"

"Yeah." Raymond nods. "Uh, why?"

"Well, I'm glad you've got Kay on your side. You know, Kay is a real bearcat: about the best assistant-lawyer in the world—and that goes regardless of sex—Ouch!" Tears in his eyes, Sebastian leans sideways and clutches for his shin. That "Ouch" is sotto voce, but it's the direct result of a kick under the table from Kay. Providentially, Gus enters the scene and begins serving them. Sebastian tries to pick up again after a second, "So how's the investigation going?"

"Oh, we haven't started yet. We'll be investigating a case in Zheng Fa; poor ol' Lang's stumped on it. Apparently, when he told my client I was defending him, the guy's become a nervous wreck."

"Well, I wouldn't blame him."

Gus, who has just managed to come between Kay and Sebastian, lets out a startled, "Ow!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Gus!" Kay cries apologetically, "My foot must have slipped."

Gus, a pained expression belying his words, nods, and replies, "That's all right." Then leaves.

Another waiter walks in and stops before Sebastian, "They want you on the phone, Mr. Debeste."

"They would!" Feigning surprise, Sebastian rises, starts off, comes back for his cup of coffee, which he then takes off with him.

Standing in the phone booth, Sebastian listens intently, with his coffee cup on a ledge, sipping it now and then. "Mr. Edgeworth? I need you to get Flatfoot out of town on a two-week vacation right away! Don't worry, Mr. Edgeworth, keep your shirt on. Kay'll be helping me out. No, she doesn't know it yet, but she'll be there. I promise you, Mr. Edgeworth." He hangs up, smiles, and finishes the coffee. Then he girds himself for being crushed, gradually beginning to look sunk.

He pulls out a hand mirror to study his expression till he finally gets what he wants, then holds that expression as he comes out of the booth. Looking like a '29 banker about to jump off a roof, he sits down.

"Woah, there kiddo," Raymond looks concerned, "Why're you looking so down all of a sudden? Need a hug?"

"Just Flatfoot again—One of the best sleuths."

"What did Gummy do now?" Kay sighs.

"His wife gets twins, he goes out to celebrate and gets ossified as lord."

Kay looks at Raymond expectantly. "Ossified?"

"He means drunk. Go on, kid."

"They can't even find him—" He sips his coffee— "So Flatfoot gets twins, and I get no help investigating the Earl Williams case."

"What's the lowdown on Williams?"

"It's simple. A poor old egg—" ("Man," Raymond translates to Kay.) "—who lost his job went berserk and shot a cop who was coming after him to quiet him down. I haven't looked into it yet, but I reckon he's as guilty as charged."

"You sure?" Raymond is surprised by how quickly Sebastian decided. "Doesn't have any criminal record...He probably did it out of fear or self-defense.

"Uncle Ray's got a point." Kay nods.

Now that Kay's shared her opinion, Sebastian sits up, eyes twinkling with interest, "Ah! Really? Anyway, I'm going to have to investigate a bit and see for myself—"

"You haven't even started?"

He shakes his head. "No, not yet. Gotta chin to the bird himself—" ("Talk to the man himself," Ray explains.) "—but I need help. You could do it, Kay. You could save that poor devil's life. You could—but—" His enthusiasm dies away, "You're going away. I forgot."

Raymond considers a bit. "Well, Kay still has enough time to—"

"Oh, no, our flight is tonight. Uncle Ray and I are not missing it for a case you'll do perfectly fine on."

"But I'm a prosecutor," Sebastian insists, "and Mr. Shields is a defense attorney. What'll I do if the man turns out to be innocent? Mr. Shields said the man was probably innocent himself, didn't you Mr. Shields?"

"I did, but—"

"Then there you have it!" He waves his baton towards Raymond, "And what would I, a rookie prosecutor, know anything about defending the innocent? You've still got until tonight, right? Instead of wasting all those hours waiting for your flight why not help me defend him until then? You could at least try to lighten his sentence."

Raymond and Kay look at each other, considering a bit, then Kay nods. "Fine, fine, I'll help, just be quiet." Downing the last bit of her coffee, she gets up and gathers her things. "Anyway, lucky for you, I've got some friends on the press covering the case so I'll check with them first. So long!"

—

The press room phone rings and George answers with cards in one hand, "Criminal Courts Press Room, this is George...No, nothing new on the Williams case yet boss. Well, you bet I'm here plugging away every minute." He hangs up and studies his cards. "Up a dime."

Playing are reporters James, George, Richard, Edward, and Lotta.

James drops his cards. "By me."

"Droparoo."

Edward knocks on the table and drops cards. "I'll call."

"Three sixes. Is that any good?"

"It sure looks good from here!"

The reporters all look up toward the sound of Kay's voice. Kay, framed in the doorway, grins and walks into the room. They all talk at once as Kay enters, until she raises a hand for silence. "One at a time." She sits at a desk, settles her messenger's bag, and opens it. All through this, she is answering their questions rapidly. "Just investigating a case—No, not the one I told you of—How's Nicole doing?—Fine?—That's good—No, I haven't seen her—Dunno—Mr. Shields asked—Soon enough. Actually, I want to ask you fellows a couple of questions. Did Earl Williams know what he was doing when he fired that gun?"

Lotta answers, "If you ask us, no. It's a simple story: Earl Williams works for a company for about fourteen years, ah reckon. A year ago the company goes out of business and Williams loses his job. Williams goes a little balmy and begins making speeches on a plan he's got to save the world. One day he decides to hold a meeting right in the middle of a Veteran's Parade and the cops chase him. He gets scared and goes into hiding. The Mayor now comes out with a statement that Earl Williams is a dangerous character in the employ of two or three foreign governments and the police are gonna get 'im dead or alive. Somebody sends out a tip that this guy is hiding in Molly Malloy's joint, and this policeman goes over to pick Williams up. Williams has read the papers, thinks the cop is going to kill him and shoots first. That's all."

"Thanks," said Kay. "That's all I want to know."

Robert, another reporter, comes in from the corridor. He stands out from the others due to his tidy appearance, and because of the number of textbooks he's carrying under his arm.

"Hello, Harvard!" James smirks. "Got anything new on the hanging?"

Robert answers cockily, "Why don't you fellows get your own news?"

Kay grins and folds her arms. "Can't you say 'hello' to a fellow?"

The sight of Kay causes Robert to crack a rare smile, "Kay!" He comes over to shake hands, then with an "Oh!" dashes to pick up a ringing telephone, "This is Robert. Hey, new lead on the hanging. This new psychologist from New York—Dr. Egelhoffer—is going to interview Williams in about half an hour—in the Chief's office."

—

At the entrance to a cell block of country jail, Warden Cooley sits at a desk near the grilled doorway that leads to the cells, reading a newspaper. A hand reaches into view and flicks the newspaper, causing him to look up. "Oh, hello, Kay! What're you doing 'round here?"

"I wanna interview Earl Williams. C'mon, I'm in a hurry."

Cooley shows Kay the way in, and she grabs a stool for her to sit on at the door of Earl Williams' cell, her pencil and copy paper in hand. Earl Williams sits at the edge of his cot, facing Kay. Kay's first impression of Williams is that he is remorseful and full of guilt. She could see the sorrow in his dim, miserable eyes. Even his voice, upon greeting her reeked with heartache and grief. Kay's heart broke, but she decided to leave all impressions after her interview with him to see.

"I couldn't plead insanity," Earl answers Kay's first question in a slow murmur, "because you see, I'm just as sane as anybody else."

Kay is puzzled by this. "You didn't mean to kill that policeman?"

"I-It was an accident...I would never kill anybody—it's against everything I've ever stood for!" He stands up for a moment, then sits back down in despair. "They're not hanging me for that—they're hanging me for my beliefs."

"What are your beliefs?

"Well, ever since I lost my job I've been torn. That's when I heard a speech on the street—it preached the Golden Rule. If I could, I'd do away with the profit system and have 'Production for Use' only. There's enough food and clothing and shelter for everybody if we'd use some sense."

Kay writes this, "'Production for use only.' Well, maybe that's the answer."

"It's the only answer. Everything has a use and if we let it be used for its purpose, we could solve all our problems..."

Her defense attorney instincts kicked in. Edgeworth wasn't the only one with the power to get a witness to say what he wants. Countless times, she's watched Raymond ask questions and press answers out of his clients that made them look all the more innocent. This was no different.

"Like food?" She asks.

"Oh, yes, food was meant to be eaten, not stored away in restaurants while poor people starved."

"And clothing?

"Clothing was meant to be worn, not piled up in stores while people went naked." He pauses. "Does that make sense?"

"Yes, that makes a lot of sense, Earl."

"Just use things for what they were meant, that's all."

"Sure." She stops, studying him a moment."Hey, Earl? What's the purpose of a gun?"

"A gun?" He thinks, "Why, to shoot, of course."

"Is that how you came to shoot the policeman?"

"Well, y-yes...I suppose that's so...You see, I'd never had a gun in my hand before and I didn't know what to do with it."

"And you found an answer in production for use?"

"Yes...So it came to me in a flash: What's a gun for?"

"It's as you said—to shoot."

"So I shot."

Kay writes again. "Very simple, Earl."

"It was entirely on defensive instinct. I was just... I did it out of fear. Do you think I've just been under the influence of the speech I heard?"

"That's very likely." She indicates a bouquet of Tuscan-sun roses in the water pitcher by his cot. "Who sent you the flowers?"

"Miss Mollie Malloy. She's a wonderful person."

Kay points to a photo hung on a wall. "Is that her?"

Williams turns toward it, "Yes. Beautiful, isn't she?"

"If you were pardoned, are you figuring on marrying Mollie?"

"Oh—Oh, no, she's much too good for me—"

"How'd you get in here?" Chief Hartman walks into the room. Kay turns toward him.

"Same way you did," Kay nods to the entrance. "Through that gate." She then stands up and begins dusting her skirt, "Anyway, I've got to get these notes to Sebastian. See you later."

—

The game is on. The electric lights have been switched on in the press room, and the reporters (except for Lotta, who's busy on the phone with Nicole) have returned for their game of poker. Kay appears in the doorway and walks quickly into the room. Without looking away from their cards, the reporters greet her one by one but are interrupted by a terrific fusillade of shots in the courtyard. A roar of excited voices comes up. For a tense second, everyone is motionless. There is another volley of shots when Lotta, George, and Richard jump for the window.

"Get the riot guns! Spread out, you fellows! Watch the gate! He's probably trying the gate!" Etc could be heard from the courtyard until the siren wails drown them out.

Lotta sticks her head out the window and yells, "Cooley! What's the matter What happened?"

"Earl...Williams...Got out!"

Searchlights hit the windows, sweeping from the direction of the jail. Kay stands paralyzed, her bundle in her hand. There is another rifle volley, two windowpanes crash into the room and some plaster falls. Gongs sound above the siren, and the reporters, except for Lotta (who's busy taking photos), are jumping for their telephones. Another windowpane goes.

"Look out!"

"Watch where Y'all are aiming, will ya?" Lotta screams, "Nearly shot mah camera!"

Reporters are at their various phones shout, "Gimme the desk!" "Flash!" "Earl Williams just escaped!" "Don't know yet—call you back." After each reporter communicates with their paper, they dash for the door.

Kay takes one of the telephones and dials, "Ema? Get me Sebastian—quick! It's me!"

She sits on the long table, her back against the wall and waits.

"Sebastian? Kay. Earl Williams just escaped from the County Jail. Yep...yep...yep...don't worry! I'm on the job!"

She hangs up and rushes out of the room, dashing out the building.

There is another volley outside as the reporters join armed guards leaping into squad cars ready for the chase. Kay notices Cooley running, gathering speed, and sprints after him. She takes a vault forward and lands clump on Cooley, knocking him to the ground as she sits on him.

"Cooley, I want to talk to you."

"Alright, let me up."

Kay begins pulling him up and dusting him as she asks, "How did Earl Williams escape?"

Cooley looks around quickly, "Come on, and I'll tell you." He jerks his head, indicating Kay to follow him. They move off as the gates are closed.

—

The press room is empty. All the telephones are ringing crazily. Lotta enters hurriedly, crosses to her phone, "Lotta talking. Hello, Nicole? Sidelights on Chief Hartman's manhunt."

Kay walks in as well and immediately picks up the phone, "Give me Sebastian Debeste—quick—"

She hastily begins drumming the table with her fingers until she hears the familiar, obnoxiously nasally voice greet her.

"Sebastian, listen. I figured out how Williams got the gun and escaped."

Sebastian, at his desk, holds the telephone to his ear. "Great going, you're the knees' bees!"

"You mean bee's knees?"

"Yeah, the cats' pajamas, what did I say? So what's the story?"

"Well, this expert psychologist Dr. Egelhoffer decides to make Williams re-enact the crime—" She starts to giggle at the thought. "Well, it seems the Professor had to have a gun to re-enact the crime with, and y'know who gave it? Chief Officer Peter B. Hartman—B for Brains."

This causes Sebastian to crack up. "No kidding, Kay! Hey, you're not legging my pull are you?"

"You mean am I pulling your leg? No, I don't have the brains to make this one up. Chief Officer Hartman gave his gun to the Professor, the Professor gave it to Earl, and Earl gave it right back to the Professor—in the stomach!"

"That's great work, Kay...Oh, hold on a second—" Sebastian turns to the girl standing by him, "What is it, Skye?"

Ema answers, "Could I talk to Mr. Shields for a second?"

"Sorry, he can't come to the phone. He, uh..." Sebastian tries grasping for the Jazz Age slang for 'left' "...took a powder."

Ema's bowled over, "He...He what!?"

"Took a powder."

"Y-You don't mean white powder, do you?"

"Um..." Sebastian's unsure of how to reply, oblivious to why the color would matter. Supposing it was simply an extension of the slang, he says, "Yeah, I suppose."

Ema narrows her eyes as she murmurs, "Scientifically speaking, I knew it...Better go!" She yells the last bit as she extracts her cell phone and hurries out the room. Unaware of why she's in such a rush, he quietly returns to the phone with a smile. "Sorry for making you wait, thanks for the summary."

Kay hangs up, then begins pacing around studying her notes for half an hour...

—

It takes her a while, but she finally recalls something and rushes back to the phone to dial another number and holds it to her ears. "Hello—Mr. Shields? Where are you? The 27th Precinct!? What? What do you mean you're arrested!? For what? You've been accused of doing drugs! ...Well, what else is new...? I mean, all right, I'll be right over—" She hangs up and runs.

Lotta is done rambling into her phone and had already left. Kay was just about to do the same when she nearly runs into a familiar face.

"Ema!" Kay takes a few steps back, "Have you heard of what happened to Mr. Shields? He got arrested for doing drugs!"

"Huh? Oh, so you've already heard. I'm the one that called the cops on him for it."

"You what?"

"Called the cops on him for it. Debeste told me he'd been doing white powder so—"

"Sebastian told you that? And you believed him!?"

"Hm? Well...Scientifically speaking, I wouldn't be surprised if he's been high this whole time, but I admit that—"

Kay, thinking on her feet, begins pushing Ema out the room, "Never mind, Ema, I need you to hurry back and tell Mr. Edgeworth about Mr. Shields as soon as possible; he'll know what to do! I need to stick around here."

Shutting the door, Kay takes another look at the clock, grabs the phone again, and starts to dial. She is stopped short by a sound from the open window. She turns and spots Earl Williams, looking more exhausted than ever, indeed on the verge of collapse, and pointing a large revolver at her. "Drop that phone."

Kay does so, and supporting himself by holding on to the edge of the desk, he proceeds. "You're not going to tell anybody where I am."

"Put down that gun, Earl."

He advances steadily toward Kay, the gun aimed at her as she says, "You're not going to shoot me, Earl. I'm your friend, remember? I've got to tell everyone about your 'Production for Use'."

"Yes—" He stops. "That's right. Production for use."

Kay starts walking toward him, slowly. "Earl, you don't want to hurt your friends, do you?"

"No, no, you're right. I don't want to kill anybody. All I want to do is be let alone." He drops the gun and clutches at the edge of the desk for support. "Oh, I'm awful tired. I can't go on another day like this."

Kay retrieves the gun and jams it in her messenger bag, jumps to the windows, pulls down the shades, and switches the lights off so they are only slightly visible. She looks around for a hiding place for him. Williams abruptly crumples and falls to the floor. Kay stands for a second, desperate. Then she picks him up and half carries, half drags him over toward a chair, places him in it, makes a quick dash for her phone. "Hello... Gimme Sebastian Debeste—quick!"

Another phone there rings. Kay answers it, propping the receiver of her own phone between ear and shoulder, "Ah, hello, Mr. Shields...Oh, listen—But something terrific's happened! Hang on, Mr. Shields—"

Back into first phone, "Sebastian?... Kay. Come over here—right away—"

Back into the second phone, "Just a second, Mr. Shields—I'll explain everything."

Back into first phone, "Sebastian! Get this: I've got Earl Williams...Yes! Here in the Press Room...Honest! On the level. Hurry..." It may simply be Sebastian's ears playing tricks on him, but her voice softens suddenly. "I need you..."

She hangs up and slowly turns to the second phone, "Oh, uh, right! Mr. Shields, this is the biggest thing that ever happened since April 2019...I just captured Earl Williams—you know—the murderer—Mr. Shields, I'll be down. Don't you—I can't now—I can't, don't you realize?"

There is a click from the phone. He has hung up. Kay dejectedly hangs up the phone, but upon hearing knocking on the door, she springs up and crosses to it hopefully. "Sebastian...?"

"It's me, Mollie Malloy! You're a reporter, right? You must've heard of me. Let me in."

Kay bites her lip in disappointment and takes a moment to remember who she was, then, without bothering to correct Mollie, cautiously unlocks the door. Mollie bounds in like a wildcat and seizes her, "Where are they gone? You know where they are?"

"Wait a minute, Mollie."

She manages to relock the door, then turns, leaning against it, facing Mollie, "Miss Malloy, they haven't got him. You gotta help me, Miss! We've got to do something!"

"What do you mean?"

There is a groan as Williams starts to come to, causing Mollie to spin around, "What's that?"

"Quiet, Miss!"

Mollie crosses to wall and switches on the lights. She sees Williams, sobs and rushes over to him. Mollie gets down on her knees and begins ministering to Earl. He opens his eyes, and Mollie begins to sob.

From outside, they hear someone trying the door followed by George's voice complaining, "Who locked the door?"

Kay calls out, "Just a second, George—" Kay leaps to the roll-top desk and opens it, turning to cry in a tense whisper to Earl, "Can you get in this desk?"

Now Richard and George are pounding on the door, yelling, "What's going on in there?"

Kay cries out, "All right—all right!"

Earl climbs into the desk. It's a tight fit, but his small frame is compact enough to fit inside. Kay and Mollie pull the roll-top down over him.

The girl turns to the woman and hisses, "Mollie, drop down here! Pretend to faint!"

"What's the idea?"

"Never mind! Just play dead."

Kay rapidly unbuttons Mollie's waistcoat and throws it back. The kicking at the door continues, so Kay crosses swiftly to it and opens it in George's face. He immediately scoffs, "Kind of exclusive, ain't you? We got calls to make, you know."

Kay pushes him further out. "Run down and get some smelling salts, will you?"

"Smelling salts! What's going on here?"

The two catch sight of Mollie stretched out on the floor.

"Mollie Malloy—what happened to her?"

Kay explains, as George and Richard enter the room, "Came up here—had hysterics and passed out. I've been trying to wake her up but..."

Mollie languidly rolls her head.

"She looks as though she's about to wake up..." George remarks.

Kay leans down to hold her up, "Give me a hand with her, will you?"

"Okay," George does the same, "Up you go, Mollie."

Kay and George lift Mollie and seat her in a chair. James walks in and spots Kay, who has been fastening Mollie's blouse. "Kay, I thought you were gone—"

"Well, I was going, but Mollie fainted and I thought I ought to do what I could."

Lotta dashes in panting, "What a chase!" And runs to her phone and begins rambling.

"Are you all right, now?" Kay looks at Molly, who faintly nods.

Lotta turns from her phone to the other reporters, "Hey, this looks good. Some ol' lady just called the cops and claims Williams is hiding in 'er cellar. Well, ah reckon we've looked every other place. Wanna go out on it?"

"Aw, forget chasing around anymore." George sighs, "I say we don't go out anymore. Let Earl Williams come to us."

"A fine bunch of reporters, the biggest story in two years and they're too lazy to go after it." Kay glares at them. "What's the matter with you boys? Afraid it might rain? If you want to go, I'll cover this end."

Lotta eyes her suspiciously, "Say, Kay…you sound pretty anxious to get rid of us. Are you hiding something?"

"Something smells around here," George chimes in, "If you ask me Mollie gave her the story of how Williams got that gun." He turns to Mollie, "Did you smuggle that gun into Williams, Mollie?"

Mollie shakes her head, "I didn't do nothin'!"

Lotta points a camera at her, "Come clean, Mollie."

Richard, George and James follow Lotta as she approaches Kay and goes on, "Better let us in on it, Mollie."

Kay steps in front of her, "Hey, leave her alone! She's still ill!"

"Oh, so you two are pals now—I think you're right, George. Mollie did give her some kind of story."

"I tell you, it's a screwy set-up. We better hold onto 'em both."

At this point, Mr. Edgeworth appears in the doorway. Kay gasps and runs to him for protection, failing to notice how he's in a very bad humor.

Edgeworth glares down at her, "Well?"

"Mr. Edgeworth!"

"Don't you 'Mr. Edgeworth' me! You're supposed to be helping Mr. Shields on the case I assigned you two and where is he? Locked up!"

"I can explain everything. I'll go with you in five minutes and—"

"You don't have to go with me at all! Stay here, chasing after a case you've no business with. In any case, which one of these men is the murderer you mentioned? They all look like tabloid hounds to me!"

James laughs, "Where does he get that stuff?"

Edward whispers, "Shall we tell him what he looks like?"

"Wait a minute!" Lotta jumps forward, "What murderer did you catch, Kay?!"

The reporters look intently between Kay and Miles. She begins stuttering, "I don't know what he's talking about. I never said such a thing."

"I'm quoting Mr. Shields." Miles knits his brows.

For a moment, the men slowly edge closer to Kay, mumbling questions that back her into a corner. Kay kept her eyes on Miles, desperately wishing she could tell him, if only the reporters weren't here as well. Suddenly, Mollie yells, "Wait! She doesn't know where Williams is. I'm the one that knows!"

The reporters turn to Mollie. "What do you mean, you know?"

They start for her. Mollie begins backing slowly around the table, away from them, toward the window. "You think I'm gonna tell?!"

Kay panics even more now. "Leave her alone; she's crazy!"

Mollie makes a desperate leap for the open window and disappears out, a scream of terror heard as she drops. The reporters rush in and look out, an assortment of awed and astonished exclamations rising from them. Edgeworth turns away from the window folding his arms and dropping into a chair. The reporters rush out, and Edgeworth and Kay cross to the window and look out. The form of Mollie on the pavement below moves slightly in the moonlight, as guards rush to her. This somehow feels like dejavu.

"Get a doctor! Take her to the infirmary! She ain't killed—she's moving!" Could be heard from below.

Closing his eyes from shock, Edgeworth folds his arms and sits in the chair. Kay turns, shaken, back into the room from the window and sees advancing to her across the room Sebastian Debeste.

"Kay! Where's—Where's Williams!?"

"In the desk." Mr. Edgeworth looks towards it. "Where else?"

Kay looks at him, speechless. She allows herself only a discreet, interior smile and thinks, "Well, I can't expect any less of the Miles Edgeworth himself."

"I would like to interrogate him, but I need to go bail Mr. Shields out, and won't have the time to come back."

"So...where does that leave us?"

"You two will stay here and keep an eye on Williams. Write a report on everything you've learned, and send it to Ema at the prosecutor's office as soon as possible."

Mr. Edgeworth walks out and disappears. Kay instinctively starts after him, when Sebastian's arm comes into view, catching her.

"Let go!" She struggles out of his grip. "Mr. Edgeworth is—"

"Busy. And you'll need to stop relying on him, Mr. Shields, and other adults to help you. Right now, it's down to you and me—"

"You and I."

"You and I! He's counting on you and I."

Kay finally returns to her senses, and stares at Sebastian for a moment, as if she couldn't place if he's changed over the course of this never-ending day, or if the way she saw him has.

"Hey—we can't leave Williams here," Kay is pulled back to Earth. "One of the other fellows—"

"We're going to take him over to my office. Where's the phone?"

Kay points to the phone, Sebastian dashes to grab it, holds it to his ear as he dials, then yells into the receiver, "Hello...! Skye, get set! Yeah...Yeah, well the info's on its way! Now, listen, Skye—I want you to forget the case you're working on—Whazzat? A phantom thief stole some smelly old urn? That news is older and twice as smelly! We've got something a whole lot bigger than that. Kay Faraday's putting it together and I'll phone it over to you as soon as she's finished."

Kay sits at her typewriter, fairly disheveled, as she types up the report furiously. Sebastian walks, tears a page out of Kay's typewriter, and she inserts another one without noticing. He turns away, crossing to the desk, where he taps three times, being answered by three taps from within.

"Fine. Three taps are me. Don't forget! You're sitting handsome—"

Kay corrects him, "Sitting pretty."

"Yeah, what did I say?" Sebastian turns back to the desk. "Got enough air?" He raises the roll-top an inch or two and fans air into Williams. "Is that better? Now breathe deep!" He hears an intake of breath from inside the desk. "Attaboy!"

He closes the desk and returns alertly to table, taking in Kay. She looks up at him, but doesn't bother to reply.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"I'm finished."

"You're finished?"

"With everything we know so far, yeah."

He grabs the last sheet of paper out of her typewriter and crosses to his desk and picks up the phone, "Hello! Skye, ready? Here we go!" And begins reading both pages.

There is a loud knocking on the door. Kay gets up, crosses to the door, unlocks and flings it open, only to find Chief Officer Hartman, accompanied by two deputies, Carl and Frank, and surrounded by Robert, James, Edward, Richard, and George.

The Chief grabs her and pushes her back as two of his men grab her.

"Hey, what's gotten into you?" She struggles out of their grip. "Let go!"

"What's your hurry? We want to see you."

"Take your hands off me!"

Sebastian marches to the Chief and yells, "Who do you think you are, breaking in here like this?"

"We just want you to give us a moment to talk to Kay," Hartman cautiously replies.

"Chief, I wouldn't give you the skin off a grape!"

"We know what you're up to," George interjects, "Going out to get Williams."

Richard nods, "The door was locked. She and Mollie were talking."

Kay begins stammering, "I-I don't know anything, I tell you. There's been an accident."

Sebastian, despite being on the verge of tears, grits his teeth. "If you've any accusations to make of her, Chief, make them properly. Otherwise, I'll have to ask you to get out."

"You'll ask me to what?"

Clearly trembling, he flicks his baton to the entrance. "Get out!"

"Close that door. Don't let anybody in or out." He commands his men, "Then take Faraday away. I got ways of making her talk." His men do so, and Kay struggles.

"You're not taking anyone!" Kay yells. Wriggling her arms out of their grip, she elbows both men hard in the face and runs. They all chase after her, as she suddenly drops her messenger bag. It lands with a clank and opens, revealing a gun on the floor, which she picks up. The police officer and reporters start to close in on her cautiously, and Kay tries to face in all directions. "Oh, no, you don't! Sebastian!"

Sebastian cries, "Here!"

She tosses the gun to him, but the Chief intercepts the throw and catches it. The reporters, Kay, and Sebastian are motionless, as the Chief stands frozen and stares at it. "Where'd you get this?"

Sebastian stares at the gun as well, then falters an excuse, "She…She wanted to interview Earl Williams, but I thought it might be dangerous so I got her a gun to defend herself."

"Oh, you did! Well, that's very, very interesting. This happens to be the exact gun that Earl Williams shot his way out with!" He shoves up to Kay; barking, "Where is Earl Williams? Where're you hiding him!?"

Sebastian stands between them, "You're bow-wowing on the wrong bough, Hartman."

Kay looks up. "You mean barking up the wrong tree?"

"Yeah, tooting the wrong horn, what'd I say?"

"What—" Hartman snaps out of his confusion and gives Kay a shake to catch her attention again, "I'll give you ten seconds to tell me where he is!"

Kay thinks on her feet, "Oh! Uh, h-he went over to the hospital to call on Professor Egelhoffer."

"What!?" The Chief stands silent—then hastily turns to the reporters. They all begin talking, "Come on, Kay. Where is he?... This is a sweet trick, Kay... I thought we were friends..." And so on. They turn to the Chief, "Look here, Pete! What about Debeste? Ask the boy! What's he doing over here?"

Hartman immediately grabs Sebastian's arm and yells, "Speak up! What do you know about this?!" And to emphasize his anger, he pounds on the desk three times. Sebastian flinches, remembering that was his signal to Williams, but says nothing.

"Not gonna answer? Well, you're under arrest. And—" He turns to Kay "—so are you."

Three answering knocks come from the desk, causing everyone to jump around and face it. Hartman whispers, "What was that?"

And the reporters begin muttering altogether, "He's in the desk!—For the love of—He's in there!"

"Aha! I thought so!" Hartman yells triumphantly, "Stand back, everybody!"

"Look out, Chief!" A policeman warns, "He may shoot!"

"Get your guns out!"

The reporters rush to their telephones while Hartman draws his policemen in around the desk, their guns pointed at it. In the midst of this, Sebastian yells to Kay, "Call Skye!"

Hartman screams, "Carl! Frank! One of you gets on each side of the desk. Take hold of the cover."

—

"Now then! We got you covered, Williams, don't try to move!"

Two men raise the cover. Williams is revealed, cowering in the desk, his hands over his face. The Chief rushes to him, jabbing his gun into his hands. "Got you, Williams!"

In reply, William wails, "Go on—shoot me!"

The police officers come in to assist the Chief. The reporters are telephoning in, the police are shouting—all the voices mix in, in incredible confusion, as the Chief rushes Williams to the door and takes him out. One by one, the reporters leave.

—

The Chief comes back in the door with one policeman and points to Kay and Sebastian, "Put the cuffs on those two."

The mayor enters just then. He spots Sebastian and Kay, getting handcuffed together, and smiles, "Fine work, Pete! You certainly delivered the goods."

Hartman grins all over, "Aiding an escaped criminal!"

"Well! Looks like about ten years apiece for you two!"

Sebastian laughs, "Oh yeah? You forgot the power that always watches over the prosecutorial office."

"Your luck's not with you now!"

Hartman talks into the phone, "Cooley?... I caught Williams single-handed—we're going to proceed with the hanging per schedule!" He dials a different number. "Give me the District Attorney's office…Hello? This is Hartman. Come over to my office, will you? I've just arrested a couple of lawyers and I want to take their confessions."

He hangs up. Sebastian makes a sudden lunge for his phone and cries into it, "Skye! Get Mr. Edgeworth!"

The mayor laughs, "All the lawyers in the world aren't going to help you!"

"This is the prosecutors' office you're talking to!"

Kay whispers to Sebastian, "Want me to pick the lock? Every great thief knows how to—"

"No way, Mr. Edgeworth would be upset if he found out!" As valid for a reason as this was, it was also a slight excuse to remain handcuffed to her. (He later recalls that 'handcuff' is 20s slang for "engagement ring", much to his delight.)

Larry Butz, the Governor's messenger, reels in the door and approaches the Mayor and Chief who have their backs to him. He hands Chief the reprieve over his shoulder, "Here's your reprieve, sir."

The Mayor spins 'round. "Get out of here!" The mayor yells.

Larry only retorts, "You can't bribe me anymore, dude!"

"Laurice!" Kay's eyes widen, "Is that you?"

"Oh! Hey, Kay," Larry gives her a thumbs-up, a wink, and his usual goofy smile, "Yeah, I work as the governor's messenger too. Never thought I'd see a pretty face around here! Hey, why're you and—"

Hartman, ignoring him, starts shoving Larry out the door, "Get out of here, you!"

"I won't, man. Here's your reprieve. And this time you're not going to bribe me, dude, I don't care how gorgeous your secretary is!"

The mayor feigns ignorance. "Who is this man!?"

Hartman turns to an officer and commands, "Throw 'im out, Frank."

Kay seizes Larry with her free hand, "Laurice, who was bribing you?"

Larry points to the mayor and the chief. Sebastian triumphantly grins, "What did I tell you? An unseen power!"

Kay tut-tuts and turns to the Chief and Mayor, "Resorting to bribery and hanging an innocent man for the sake of an election!"

"That's a lie, I never saw him before!"

Larry shakes his head, "You don't remember me, man! Maybe it's cuz I'm only one of the many idiots you bribed. I'm not an idiot!" He yells the last bit then breaks into tears.

"That's absurd on the face of it, Debeste! He's talking like a child—Insane or drunk or something," The mayor tries to explain.

"Keep talking, we all know you'd kill your mother to get elected!"

"That's a horrible thing to say, Miss Faraday, about anybody!" The mayor turns to Sebastian, "Now, look here, you're an intelligent young man—"

"Oh, tell it to Sweeney!" Sebastian interrupts, then with a flourish points his baton towards Larry, "All right, Mr. Laurice. Let's have your story."

"Well, at first, my parents never decided to have me, they never intended on a child at all, man! Y'see, they were dru—"

"Skip that, I don't think the children want to hear it." The Mayor interrupts, "Take the handcuffs off those kids, Pete."

Hartman springs to obey, "I—I was just about to!" And gets the key from the officer to set them free. Meanwhile, the Mayor reads the reprieve and widens his eyes, "Chief, this document is authentic! Earl Williams has been reprieved, this, Commonwealth has been spared the painful necessity of shedding blood. Well, as long as I am Mayor—"

"Which should be about three hours more, I'd say." Sebastian frames the two men with his hands, "You'll each get about ten years in prison, I think."

"Now, Mr. Debeste, there's no need to be so hasty," He folds the reprieve and puts his hat back on, "I need to speak to the governor, in any case. Good evening." He leaves, taking the Chief and Larry with him. Sebastian turns to Kay and they suddenly smile at each other.

"How was that for a tight squeeze?" Kay folds her arms.

"Don't tell me you were worried!"

"Worried! I was terrified! Weren't you?"

"I got the screaming meemies, but as long as we were in there together pitching—" He gestures accordingly— "They couldn't kick us—"

"Lick us."

"Yeah, what did I say?"

Kay chuckles and shakes her head as Sebastian goes on, "It's been a lot of fun. I mean—working together. Just like the old days."

"Uh-huh...Wait, what old days?"

Sebastian waves a hand, "Ehh, I mean all the things we've been through. Like that one time, we thought you fell off a fifty-floor building?"

"Yeah! Remember that time we solved a case that's been lingering for 18 years, and you went around accusing people left and right when it turned out to be the victim all along!"

"What about that case when Mr. Edgeworth pretended to be an attorney to defend a guy I accused, 'cause he seemed mentally stable—until last minute! That's life. Whichever way you turn fate sticks out a foot to trip you."

"Well, we've certainly been in some swell jams." With a nostalgic grin, Kay glances at the clock and her smile fades, "Ah...Mr. Shields should be at the airport."

Noticing her worried expression, Sebastian looks at her a bit sadly, "You could go now...Unless you're sticking around to help me write the report."

"I can't, Sebastian."

"You still have an hour left..."

"Yeah, but, I—"

"I won't see you again for another two weeks, Kay...Can't you give me another hour?"

"I don't know what to do..."

"Flip a coin."

"Well, all right." She extracts a coin from her messenger bag. "Heads I go—tails I stay...Ready?"

Sebastian gazes nervously at the hand holding the coin. "Ready."

She flips and catches it. Holding it tightly clasped in her hand, she's afraid to look. They stare at each other a second.

"Well—what is it?"

"What's the difference!? I'm going to stay—and you know it!"

—

Sebastian stands, looking at the paper on his desk

The morning afterward is noisy, somehow twice as much as it had been last night. Still, in Sebastian's eyes, the city seems a lot less rotten, and there is a touch of color returning to his desaturated world.

I love this season. The weather pours down all the cold rain, washing away yesterday's worries. I've spent my life in this concrete merry-go-round watching the same crimes play out year after year, like a jukebox with but one, sad tune. In a crazy world like this, love and trust are all you can count on.

After he's done reading the paper, Sebastian cheers enthusiastically, "The case of the century, solved!"

"And I couldn't have done it without you, Sebastian."

Dumbstruck, he wheels to the door in disbelief and fronts the familiar face there. "Kay!" The girl smiles in reply if a little grimly. "Mr. Shields is in Zheng Fa…What're you doing here?"

"I called and told him that I wasn't coming."

"Where'd you call him?"

"At the airport. It's awfully clear now. Raymond needs a loyal, skilled assistant. A gifted friend who'll be there for him no matter what. Anyway, I couldn't do that for him, Sebastian, so Ema went to replace me..." Her grim smile is swapped for a slightly happier one as she recalls the chaotic case she had been through the night before. Somehow fondly. "Last night was a lot of fun, so...I guess I only wanted to stick around a bit longer. I just came here to tell you that if you've got any case you need help with, I'll come running."

To Sebastian's ears, those words were too good to be true, "Oh...Oh, angel, that's the bee's knees! Attagirl!" He absolutely beams. "In that case...you could be my 'Girl Friday' and my girl, Faraday!

"Yeah, I…Wait, what?" Kay watches Sebastian nod hopefully, and begins sputtering, "But—I already told you no! I mean...—" Suddenly, she can't help but consider "—I-I don't know, Sebastian...I don't know if it'll be like other relationships or if it'll be good or..."

"It'll be wonderful! And, no, it won't be like other relationships—it can't be like other relationships—we're different! We're living in a different world. Take our chemistry last night, for example. I wouldn't trade that for any date in the world, and I bet you wouldn't, either."

"A fine date; with a murderer right in the desk!"

"And how! That's what makes it romantic; every other couple goes on a date to some park or cafe, and they both know exactly where the other is. But for us, you never know where I am and I'm not ever sure where you are: That's romance, Kay!"

"Well, maybe you're right, but—"

"Of course I'm right!" He runs to her and throws his arms around her waist, lifting her in the air. "Kay, darling!"

"Oh, so I'm 'Kay, darling' now, hm!? Put me down this instant!" Kay begins beating his shoulder with her fists, "Fine, but I know what dating you'll be like!"

"Oh, it'll be Heaven!" Clearly oblivious to her beating, he begins twirling around the room and singing the chorus of 'Once Upon A Dream.'

Gumshoe pokes his head in through the door, "Could you two be quiet, pal? It's hard to work with all the shrieking..."

Kay leaves off kicking Sebastian and looks up at Gumshoe, flabbergasted. "Gummy?! I—Is that you…!?"

"Huh...? Uh, yeah..." Gumshoe looks confused.

Sebastian immediately stops twirling. "Wait, Flatfoot, wasn't Mr. Edgeworth supposed to send you on a two-week vacation?"

Gumshoe looks even more confused. Kay, twice as much.

"Sebastian, what're you talking about?"

"Ah, I'll explain: I asked Mr. Edgeworth to send Flatfoot on a vacation so you'll be forced to fill in and work with me."

A pause. Upon realizing what he just said, Sebastian drops Kay and freezes cold.

"Sebastian...!"

He starts to run, and she races after him. As he sprints through a door into adjoining office, Kay throws a textbook at him, and it smashes through the glass pane in the door, but he ducks, and it narrowly misses. Kay bursts in and chases him 'round a desk.

"But, Kay—I can explain—"

"You—you—!"

Watching them from outside the office, Gumshoe turns to Edgeworth, who's standing by him, and asks, "By any chance, could you reconsider giving me the vacation, sir?"

"On one condition," Edgeworth sighs, "I take it with you."