Two Minutes
Her eyes were bland as she stared at the man who stood before her, watching him carefully as he began the process of cleaning the needle on the syringe. Unlike most patients of this one particular doctor, her hands didn't shake, and her breathing was steady. There was no apprehension apparent in her expression; only an enervation of mind. The usual discomfort at seeing the needle didn't come; instead, what came was a memory.
A small, frail girl sat in the mud, tears running from her brown eyes. The children surrounding her tugged at her long black hair, taunting her.
"Did you put manure on your head to make your hair grow back?" a little boy sneered. Another tug wrenched the wig from the girl's head.
"The weirdo's hair is falling off again!" a little girl screamed mockingly; the group of children chuckled. "Freak," the same girl muttered as the children scattered, leaving the small girl in the mud, alone. She glared at her reflection, hate searing out of her pores as tears rolled down her face. Her thin legs almost buckled under her as she stood and walked inside. It was time for another change.
She shivered when she returned to the table, as if she had been in the cold just now and could feel the water and mud on her skin. The recollection was painful, not one she would have chosen to relive. She scoffed lightly, murmuring, "As if I ever had a choice."
It was something she was used to, that feeling of helplessness. She did not fight it; even now, in what was supposed to be the final decision, her decision; she could not fight the helplessness that swamped her. Her eyes glazed over; she never could.
A girl around the age of twelve gazed at her father with pleading eyes. She was small for her age, delicate, pale, and almost cadaverous. The dismay was clear on her face as she said, "Again? But daddy, you said this time-"
"Well, I was wrong!" the man shouted, his face reddening. "I can't help it; she just isn't right!" The girl's eyes started to glaze over.
"You promised! You said no more; you said it!" she screamed back. Tears slid down her cheeks, and her eyebrows furrowed, bringing wrinkles to her young face. Her father sighed, sitting back in his chair and closing his eyes. He shook his head.
"Look, I don't have time for this Eleni," he said, setting a hand on her small head like any loving father would do. The dismissal was obvious, but the girl was still angry.
"You never have time!" The hand was smacked off her head, and she stormed out of the room as the man sighed once more. She didn't go far, staying outside the door to see what he would do. He turned to his phone, picking it up and pressing in a phone number. As the phone rang he massaged his temples.
"William? Yeah, it's Mortimer. Can you get me the keys to the house in Elmira? While you're at it, get me a one way ticket to New York." A small pause as William answered. "Yeah, I know she only got here last week." Another pause, and then the man slammed his fist down on his desk. "Blast it, William, just get me the number! I don't have time for the little brat; there are more important things I should be doing." He slammed the phone down on the receiver and leaned back once more, sighing. Eleni backed away from the door, confusion and shock overcoming her young features; he didn't want her, and there was nothing she could do about it.
It was that kind of vulnerability that was the worst. He had changed her, that day. She wasn't that little girl anymore, with the tears running down her face as she sat in the corner, crying over her father's words. It didn't matter any more, she didn't care that he didn't want her. Or at least, that's what she told herself; truly, she didn't want rejection again. Her mind floated into oblivion once more.
"Look, it's the new girl," someone whispered in the school hallway. Eleni didnt even spare a glance. This was her then, a stone-faced, phlegmatic girl who was not about to let herself get pushed around. She was aware of how her thin limbs and weak body stood out among the healthy children. Still, she did not look their way, not even to catch a glimpse of a round, healthy face in a spark of envy. This school would be like all the others, soon to fall through and send her home to her father, who would, in turn, pass her off to the next place. She sat down in her new classroom, quiescence ruling her features. She would wait until it happened, and until then there was nothing she could do.
The doctor's smile brought the reminiscent girl back to reality; the gesture, though meant to be amiable, was less than commiserating, and Eleni stiffened slightly.
"Does it bring you joy, your job?" she asked, her voice quiet and sharp, despite her pained demeanor. The man's gaze returned to her, taken aback, and she shrugged one shoulder. "Seems like an okay job to me, relieving people's pain." The doctor made a noise of disapproval, shaking his head as he turned back around. He was different, not wallowing in condolences; slightly arrogant and confident in the way he did things. He reminded her of someone in particular, someone that made her smile. Slowly, the room melted away, replaced with the walls of a familiar classroom.
Almost an entire week; she had actually gone an entire week without getting into a fight. This school could obviously do wonders, and Eleni offhandedly wondered if the medical clinic would be the same. Hopefully, she could last today out; it was her last class, and then Friday would be over. It would be the longest she had stayed at a school in a long, long time. The bell rang, a nasally sound that Eleni had yet to be accustomed to, and the teacher stood.
"Class, we are going to do a group project today." A general noise of approval came from the class. "You will be paired in groups of two. The project is fairly simple, just an illustration. I'll read off the groups now." Students murmured quietly as the teacher began to read the names off. Eleni gazed out the window until the teacher called her name, startling her slightly. "Eleni Listel and James Meyers, you two will be paired." As the teacher moved farther down the list, Eleni looked around with hidden curiosity. She had yet to learn everyone's name. A body planted itself in front of her line of vision, and a voice said,
"So, you're the new girl?" Eleni looked up, her dark eyes meeting twinkling blue ones. The boy had a smirk on his face the size of the United States as he stared down, his hands tucked lazily in his pockets. "Let's get something straight: I'm in charge here." Eleni's dark brows rose considerably as she shot him a challenging look. Then, with a small, withering smile in his direction, she shot back,
"Let's get something straight: I don't get bossed around." She took out a piece of paper to write notes on, setting a pencil down on top of it. The boy, presumably James, put his hand down on the paper and pencil, a little more forceful than needed, and glared at Eleni. The girl looked up at him calmly. "If you don't get your hand off my paper, I will break all your fingers, and then crack your wrist," she said threateningly. James gauged her, trying to tell if she was kidding or not. Then a grin broke out on his face; he pulled up a chair.
"You're interesting. The name's James," he said amiably. Eleni shot him a look.
"Because the teacher didn't already say that," she retorted. He looked slightly abashed, and Eleni shook her head. "So what were you thinking of doing?"
As the scene was replaced once more with white hospital walls, Eleni smiled slightly. Her legs swung easily from the table that she sat on; she chuckled. She could remember a time when that wasn't so easy to do, when happiness came hard. As one of her arms moved she winced, cradling it softly: the IV needle in her arm had jolted when she moved. Another flood of nostalgia washed over her, this one much less pleasant.
Her gaze flashed around frantically, and her thin arms flailed; a sharp pain ran up her arm. Surprise flitted across her face as she looked down at the needle in the crook of her elbow. After a moment, her memory returned to her. A woman dressed in scrubs walked up to her, a clipboard in hand as she smiled.
"I'm glad to tell you the procedure was a success. You should be free to go by the end of the day. We'll just have to run a few more tests..." The young nurse flashed a few needles in Eleni's direction, but Eleni just shrugged one shoulder, a dark look on her face.
"Yeah, so? Get it done all ready." A look of bewilderment passed over the nurse's face as she approached the adolescent.
"So, do you have any plans?" she asked as she gave Eleni the first injection.
"No." The answer was short and sharp, sending a clear message. The nurse tried once more, using a different approach to conversation.
"Most people would be scared of this many shots." Eleni shrugged again, instantly regretting the movement.
"Happens all the time," she replied. Again, her answer was short and to the point; she was never one to mince words. The nurse stood.
"These results should be back in a few hours." Eleni nodded and stared solemnly at the end of the bed, her hands clenched tightly. She stayed rigid as the nurse walked out, continuously glaring at the metal rail on the tail end of the seemingly comfortable bed. A few hours and she would be gone, only to return again a week later. Something had to be done, and she was the only one who could make the choice.
Her dark eyes connected with the white walls around her, so similar to those she had just been glaring at; the rigidity of her memory was visible in her movements. These places were always the worst. What irony, to be escaping from the very life she would have in the facility that would give it to her. It was with further cynicism that Eleni observed her last happy memory was incongruously within these very hospital walls as well; in fact, inside a hall four stories down. The white walls seemed to shift and create a different scene, one that had been playing in her head for the last five minutes.
"Eleni!"
He stood in front of her, his breathing ragged. She looked back at him, slightly astonished at his sudden appearance. Her hand floated away from the blinking elevator button as she shifted.
"James, what..." There wasn't enough comprehension for her to string together more than a few words. It only took those hesitant seconds for him to reach her and wrap his hands gently around her thin shoulders, trying to support himself as much as keep her in her current position.
"You said you had another week," he said, his voice breathy. Eleni pulled away, her eyes vacant, and shrugged nonchalantly.
"I just decided it was time," she replied. She sounded tired and inhumanly serene; her expression was just as ethereal. The blank walls surrounding them made her skin look whiter than ever, except for the dark circles under her eyes, the bruises on her skin. James sighed and ran a hand through his hair, stepping away from Eleni.
"You could have given us a warning; heck, even just a 'hey, I'm going today' would've been nice." He cast a caustic glance at the thin girl in front of him, shaking his head. "You can't just run away from everyone, Eleni, you have to give us time to say goodbye." Eleni looked down, her demeanor acquiring a guilty aura as she grimaced.
"I hate goodbyes," she muttered, her expression and position resembling that of a sulking child. James shook his head and grabbed the thin, tired girl into a tight hug.
"Too bad," he mumbled into her shoulder. Slowly, a smile worked its way onto Eleni's face; her delicate arms encircled his waist lightly, almost too faint to feel.
"Thanks for the company, James," Eleni said, stepping away. "You've done more than you can imagine." James managed a wry grin between the tears that were now trickling down his cheeks.
"You always say that," he replied; his voice broke as the elevator opened. Eleni pressed her lips against his cheek lightly and then stepped back into the small compartment, pressing the button. As she looked up tears started to fill her eyes. She lifted her arm; the limb felt heavier than it should have as she waved goodbye.
Eleni looked up now as the doctor turned to her, the needle ready. Two minutes had passed since he had walked into the room. Her last two minutes had passed without even a second thought. Fatigue overtook her features as she directed a small smile at the young man.
"I'm ready now," she murmured. He nodded and stuck the needle into her IV, letting the fluid rush into the tube and make it's way into her bloodstream. Eleni felt her eyes close as the darkness of death surrounded her. The last thing that passed through her mind was a pair of twinkling blue eyes.