Shades of Blue
by Lady Kai
Ok...this is my first Saiyuki fic and my first published fic. (I've FINALLY gotten the nerve to publish something of mine in the Net. ) Hope that you guys like this...*chewing my nails* Send me reviews and help out a wannabe writer raise her confidence level a bit k? O-K...enough rambling and boring comments from the author...
Disclaimer: *Naks, nakasulat na rin!* Saiyuki is not mine as all other anime's are not mine. They are the products of geniuses from Japan.
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It was raining.
AGAIN. For the 3RD MISERABLE TIME THIS WEEK! Sanzo fumed with clenched teeth.
After the 2nd time, Hakkai had spoken up in that calm, consoling voice of his and said that the rain was probably caused by a monsoon.
Monsoon my foot! The gods did this. It is a heavenly conspiracy against me!
Wait. Just a moment... Hmmm... Now that he thought about it, Hakkai sounded like he was doing more than explain the rain to me. He sounded like he was trying to convince himself and not just correcting poor Sanzo-sama's delusions and paranoia.
Looks like I'm not the only one who's edgy about the rain.
The latest drizzle had started just before lunch. He of course, promptly lost his appetite, ordered and started guzzling down sake like there was no tomorrow.
"Great. Just great." In his present mood, it was no wonder that Goku had been subdued. Along with Gojyo. The two had refrained from squabbling like noisy little brats throughout lunch. And after that too. The baka zaru hadn't even pressed him to partake of the veritable feast laid before them, courtesy of course of his divine gold card. Then again, who would dare after seeing a vein in his head tick ominously. If he wasn't so touchy and grumpy, he'd actually consider thanking Kami-sama for the miracle.
Hakkai, of course, was a little quiet. But then again, while Hakkai shared his views about the rain, they differ in their reactions. HE gets surly and broods when it rains, but Hakkai...he just shrugs and smiles.
Che! It seems that the more I think the more idiotic I sound. Crap! I have to stop this! It's all because of that accursed rain! Che!
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Now it was already late in the night and the rain still has to show some sign of letting up. Sanzo lifted yet another freshly-lit cigarette to his lips, but just as quickly stubs it out. Stood up. And got ready to go out. Yes, into the rain.
'Just get it over with.' He thought resignedly. So he stole out of his room and nimbly descended the stairs before he changed his mind.
As soon as he opened the door of the inn however, his eyebrows shot up in shock.
"It...It...It actually stopped!", he sputtered in disbelief. "The damned rain actually stopped!!! I can't believe this!"
He SHOULD be relieved. Instead he fought down the urge to slam the door shut...or better yet, slam it shut and then pepper it with bullets from his trusty gun until it resembles leaves devoured by caterpillars. Or maybe just shoot the damned sky till he runs out of bullets.
It may be a stupid and useless thing to do but he'd feel a whole lot better afterwards. He was now entertaining all sorts of violent thoughts in his head and normally, he'd have indulged some of them but he couldn't risk waking the baka zaru and the others. He didn't want them to see him like this and so he had to settle for glaring at the now-clear midnight sky and curse softly under his breath. K'so...
Now, he turned his fury to himself. How could he even THINK of doing such an asinine thing! What did he hope to accomplish anyway?!?!?
Then as he slowly climbed the stairs and make his way to his room, it struck him, no, jolted through him. Reverberated in his entire being. And echoed in his mind. And heart. The reason that lay in the depths of his soul. The one he had acted upon unconsciously.
He wanted the rain to wash him clean. Free him from the memories that continued to torment him when he had nothing but time on his hands. The regrets that haunted him. The what-ifs and what-might-have-beens. The guilt. The emptiness and self-pity. All of it. He wished for the rain to wash it away. And make him clean again. Able to start anew. To erase everything. To forget.
~~~~@~~~~
A couple of hours later, he was still reeling from his discovery, alternating from a few seconds of hoping and long minutes of cursing himself. But his body finally had enough abuse and decided to sleep. As he drifted off to his much-needed stupor, a last thought clung to his mind.
Would it really have worked?
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(@).(@) Well??????? How was it? Was it too OOC? Was it actually decent enough to read??? I've read a lot of fanfics and I've always admired the writers. There are really good ones out there. So I thought I'd try my hand at it y'know? ^_^ Oh well, pls somebody out there, take pity on me, review, email, constructive criticisms......you read my comments above the fic....
p.s for those who didn't understand the *blahblahblah* above, it meant *I've finally written something!* or something like that...
p.p.s would you believe i got the idea for this while brushing my teeth ^_____^