Hey all!! I wrote this skit/play thingy for an assignment at school, just to make fun of The O.C. But don't get me wrong, I love this show and all its drama. It makes California seem like an ultimately wonderful place, which it is...after all, I live in Orange County. But I don't live in a huge mansion-type house with more rooms than I have toes. I think Ryan and Seth are friggin' awesome, and I'd pay to see them acting how they do here. I'm sure you all would too, as much as you'd like to deny that.
So yeah! I hope you all enjoy this little...thing...that I wrote in English. Thanks to all who read it before and liked it: Anita, Ashley, Laura, Micah (AZN PRYDE), Ryan (although you just looked at me like I was crazy and pinched my cheek .;; Meany Wyan), Debby, Kristina, Danny, and Alexis!! Thanks for reading it over, editing it and making it PWETTY!! I love all you guys!! Thanks for the support!!
And now, after all that crap up there, we get to the good part...the STORY...err...the skit/play thing. WOW. A whole entire intro without my muses popping in to make some random comments.
Takuya: I like cheese.
TAF: Dangit.
Parody of The O.C.
Characters:
Ryan Atwood
Seth Cohen
Marissa Cooper
Summer Roberts
A Little Background:
The O.C. is a teenage drama that airs Wednesday nights at 9PM on FOX. It is a melodramatic story set in Orange County, California about a loner boy named Ryan Atwood from "The Ghetto" (a.k.a. Chino) who is given a second chance to succeed through school and life in Newport Beach. Here, he lives with the Cohen's in their enormous house and befriends Seth Cohen, a good-looking, comic book geek. He also meets Marissa Cooper who later along in the season becomes his girlfriend. Marissa's friend and also Seth's girlfriend, Summer Roberts also meets Ryan and they become close acquaintances.
Act I
Scene I: Ryan's Bedroom
[Scene opens with Seth kneeling by Ryan's bed, appearing to be attempting to wake him up.]
Seth (loud, sing-song voice): It's a beautiful day in Newport. The sun is shiny, and it's blinding my eyes; the birds are chirping, and that fat one on the tree is out of tune. There's not a cloud in the sky…wait…no, never mind. There's one. It kind of looks like…a polar bear!! Wait, nope, never mind. It's gone. There's not a cloud in the sky.
Ryan (muffled voice in pillow): Mmf!
Seth: Alas, our gallant warrior is showing the first signs of life.
[Ryan's digital clock shows the numbers 6:59, then 7:00. Radio alarm turns on.]
Radio DJ (enthusiastically): Good morning, good morning. Seven 'o clock and it's a beeeeauuuuuuutiful summer day here at the beach. If you don't believe me, go check outside!!
Seth: Oh, we believe you all right.
DJ: …in fact, I think we should start the morning with a little Britney Spears!
[Ryan's silent arm comes from underneath the covers, ungracefully grabs the clock, unplugging it, and throws it across the room as it collides with the wall, making it smash into a million pieces.]
Seth: No!! My Britney!!
Ryan (voice still muffled): …my virgin ears…
Seth (fake sobs): …but why Britney? WHY?!!
[Ryan's hand gropes his table to find something to throw at Seth.]
Seth (stops fake-crying): Okay, okay! I get it! (pouts) You couldn't hurt this beautiful face if you tried!
[Ryan looks up from his pillow for the first time to glare at his friend. After a moment, he digs his head back into his pillow.]
Seth: …okay, so maybe you could. C'mon, Ryan!! Wake up!! We gotta get to the beach by 9:30!! We promised the girls!!
Ryan: I need my beauty sleep.
Seth: If you don't get up, I'll tell Marissa your big secret!!
Ryan (looks up immediately): NO!!
Seth (grins evilly): I will!!
Ryan (gasps): You wouldn't!!
Seth: Oh, but I WOULD!!
Ryan (nervously): Hey, lots of manly guys sleep with teddy bears, all right?
Seth: BWAA HAA HAA!! Unless you come down in fifteen minutes, consider your secret…told!!
[Ryan sits up in horror, mouth open, as Seth exits his bedroom. Ryan pulls out an old, raggedy, brown teddy bear from underneath his sheets.]
Ryan (to his stuffed animal): No, Mr. Snookums, it's okay. Meany-weeny Seth won't tell about you.
Scene II: Downstairs
[Seth is sitting on his couch, flipping through channels on the TV and timing to see how fast he can go through all one thousand, six hundred, seventy-seven cable channels.]
Seth (jumps up and shouts loudly): YES!! SETH COHEN HAS SET THE WORLD RECORD OF CHANNEL FLIPPING!! FOURTEEN SECONDS!!
Ryan (from upstairs): Dude!! Shut up!!
[Seth starts doing his victory dance and singing to a song that is hard to interpret. Five seconds later, he's bored.]
Seth: Man. I'm bored now.
[Seth looks around the room for something to do. His eyes fall on a PacMan Arcade Machine he's never seen before.]
Seth: WHOA! Where did THIS come from?
[He walks over to the large machine that sits in the middle of the room. There appears to be a hastily written sign on the screen.]
Seth (squints and starts reading sign): Do…not…touch. Out…of…order.
[Seth's fingers stroke his chin as he contemplates what this message could mean.]
Seth (still stroking chin): What COULD it mean?? (shrugs shoulders) Whatever! I bet it was just waiting for me to play it and get a high score!!
[About thirty minutes pass, and after much cursing and kicking of the machine, Seth successfully completes the game.]
Seth (yelling victoriously): YES!! HIGH SCORE!! I AM THE MASTER OF PACMAN!! YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME!! Oh! What's my name? S…E—
[Suddenly, bright lights and a sharp noise erupt from the machine.]
Seth (screaming): OW!! WHAT THE—??!!
[Seth then runs around the house, screaming, and yelling profanities before he lands in the kitchen and runs head-on into the refrigerator.]
Seth (still screaming): MY BEAUTIFUL NOSE!!
Act II
Scene III: The Bathroom
[Scene opens with Ryan who is upstairs, in the shower, draining all the hot water.]
Ryan (singing on the top of his lungs): THE BEST THING ABOUT BEING A WOMAN IS THE PREROGATIVE TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN AND—
[Ryan grabs a bottle of Pantene Pro-V and slides onto one knee, beginning the chorus.]
Ryan (still singing): Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy, forget I'm a lady! Men's shirts-short skirts! Oh, oh, oh, really go wild yeah, doin' it in style! Oh, oh, oh, get in the action, feel the attraction! Color my hair, do what I dare! Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free, yeah to feel the way I feel! MAN! I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN!!
[Ryan gets out of the shower and grabs a towel. He starts drying his hair with his towel while talking to himself in the mirror.]
Ryan (talking to the mirror): How you doin'? No, really, handsome. How are you doing?
[Ryan continues to make conversation with himself through the mirror for some time until he finally begins to wink at himself.]
Ryan: That is one good-looking guy right there.
[As Ryan finishes up drying his hair, he turns around to exit the bathroom. Little does he notice tube of toothpaste on the ground. He trips over the toothpaste, and to his misfortune, his foot falls into the toilet.]
Ryan (yelling): Dang it! That's the third time this week!!
[As Ryan attempts to pull his foot out of the toilet, he only pushes it in further and gets it stuck.]
Ryan: This is what I get for having big feet.
[After a few minutes of unsuccessfully trying to pull his foot out of the toilet, a resounding echo of inappropriate language fills the room.]
Scene IIII: Marissa and Summer Save the Day
[Marissa and Summer are at the beach in their two-piece bathing suits, getting a tan. Summer digs through her bag and finds her cell phone. She checks the time.]
Summer: Hey, I'm getting kind of worried. It's almost ten and they're not even here yet.
Marissa: Nah, they're big boys. They'll be fine.
[Fifteen minutes pass.]
Marissa (looks up from her sun bathing): Hmm…I think you may be right, Summer. Where are they?
Summer: Do you think they got lost?
Marissa: But they've been here before.
Summer: Maybe they forgot?
Marissa: Why don't you call them?
[Summer nods and pulls out her cell phone. She pushes speed dial 1 and waits.]
Summer (shakes her head): No one's picking up.
Marissa: Maybe we should go check.
[Ten minutes later, thanks to Summer's wonderful driving, they arrive at Seth's house.]
Summer (knocks on door): COHEN?? ARE YOU IN THERE??
[She hears a voice from inside and opens the unlocked door.]
Marissa: Hello? Ryan? Seth?
[Ryan's voice from upstairs is heard, and Marissa rushes to the rescue.]
Marissa (shouting): Ryan, hold on, I'm coming!!
[Summer begins walking around the house, calling Seth's name.]
Summer: Seth? Cohen? Where are you?
[She turns into the kitchen and finds her boyfriend, next to the refrigerator, unconscious. She sighs and gets a bucket and fills it up with water. Just as she does so, Ryan, who is wrapped in a towel, and Marissa enter the room. Summer gracefully dumps the water on top of Seth's head.]
Seth (wakes up): WHAT THE HECK?? WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR, SUMMER??
Marissa (shocked): What was that for?
Summer (sighs): That's the fourth time this week he's collided with the fridge.
The End
Author's Notes: The O.C. does not belong to The Anti Fluffy.
Shania Twain's song Man! I Feel Like a Woman does not belong to her either.
Lastly, although this would have been an extremely hilarious episode, nothing in this script happened during the actual show The O.C.
I hope you all liked it!! Leave a review to help out my writing, and give me your opinions!! Latez!!