"I'm Alright"
If you're reading this
Then I finally did it
He rapidy scrawled the words on the blank legal pad sheet laying on the coffee table.
He pictured her face for a moment her long dark hair those startleling forever damp brown eyes alwaqys filled with concern and love for him.
She was the only person that ever loved him, he was writing this for her, so she would go on.
I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye
He gazed up at the noose he had made out of an black guitar power cord it swung over him reminding him what he had to do.
There was no time
That was true no time, even death was stressful and made rushed.
He pushed himself to continue his writing.
Understand I was stressed
"That was a breif description." He thought.
Living day to day was hard
Between the pain in his leg, not being able to walk or have sex without being high or drunk,the nightmares and the guilt Moriarty stuck in his head, everything was pain.
And I gave it my best
He tried to go on, the rehab, the Ketamine,The therapy, he gave up everything at least once.
But there was nothing left
For me in this world
To convince me to stay
He had , but a ring on Allisons finger he put a child in her womb.
The ring gave her a an allergic reaction because of the platinum in the band, and the baby was born prematurely at five and half months along.
Their son Vincent Deacon House had his fathers blue eyes, and his fighting spirit he lived only 13 hours before his tiney heart failed him.
His fathers eyes his mothers broken heart.
Now I'm long gone away
Don't you do that
Don't you start your tears
He could picture the note arriving in her yahoo account.
He could see her eyes flooding with pain,he could see her sobbing.
It hurt his soul.
He laced the chord around his neck and jumped off the coffee table snapping his cane in two as he was caught by noose snapping.
Then the next thing he saw Allison opening the letter he had e-mailed before he had taken his life like he had pictured.
But, it was real...
His leg didn't hurt he wasn't stoned or drunk, he hurt in his soul though.
He ran to her and whispered into her ear.
"Just remember all the time we spent over the years"
Never cry
He thought
He tried to wipe her tears away, as she quitely cursed "Damn you House."
"Never think bad to me"
He said trying to hold her, still wanting her love.
How can we go on without you? She asked the air? What about me Greg?"
"What's done is done and that's the way it had to be"
He thought to himself.
As he realized that he wasn't in hell, he was still at PPTH.
"I need you to be strong for me"
He shouted
"Say a prayer everyday in my memory"
Maybe I can go heaven, maybe theres a god I could see our son...
"I'm sure it's helping me"
"To earn my feathers "
"To get some wings"
"And a halo and a harp and angelic things"
He said laughing realizing there was something beyond all this.
But, he was saddened seeing her cry for him.
"And even though I'm gone And outta sight"
"Never worry about me"
"I'm alright"
He said seing a small toddler with bright blue eyes running to him saying Daddy!
"I'm alright" He whispered
"And if I should die"
"Don't blame yourself and keep it locked inside"
Allsion read the words over and over, comforting herself
He said holding little Vincent to his chest regretting leaving her, but estactic to know he was ok
"I'm alright"
He told himself
"And everytime you cry don't breakdown "
"Just keep me inside in your mind "
He said praying she wouldn't forget him.
As he saw Wilson walking in and holding her as she sobbed and silently kissing the top of her head.
You only saw the outside
Never knew what I was feeling
He said shaking his head at him.
Now everyday you lay in bed staring at the ceiling
He thought glancing at Jimmy.
He knew he had seen it...
"But you don't see me no more"
He said...
Although Jimmy tried.
"You can fill your heart with memories
And things from before"
He thought hoping he would...
He had seen him looking through his things for the photographs of them in shcool and at Jimmys various weddings.
His thought was cut off by a vision of Jacks wife
She shook her head and took Vincent from his arms.
And said.
"But everybody's got a purpose in life"
"To survive when the sun rises"
"Your'e gonna live to see another day"
He was fading he had visions of Allison and Chase and Foreman and Cuddy.
"Just don't follow me and live your life your own way"
"I'll be in set and if you forget "
"Get the picture with the cord around my neck"
He said softly thinking he was ascending.
"See me underground and I'm stuck"
"But it's cool that's where I wanna be"
He said picturing his coffin
"Keep the drama in hand but outta sight"
"And know that"
"I'm gonna be alright "
"House, your gonna be allright."
Jacks wife said sounding like Formean.
He saw him hovering over him reading the letter out loud.
I'm alright
And if I should die
Don't blame yourself and keep it locked inside
He whispered
"Your'e a good man House, your'e just lost."
"I'm alright"
Vincent said from the angels arms cuddling to her, but gazing at his father.
"And everytime you cry don't breakdown "
"Just keep me inside in your mind"
He was, hallucinating himself as being a ghost.
But he was in fact allright.
He had come to at sunrise like she said.
"I'm allright..." He said as he opened his eyes to see Foreman and Allsion and grabbed her and helf her close.
Special thanks to And thanks for putting up with the rough draft and pointing out how rough it was!
for the lyrics.