DISCLAIMER: I soo don´t own this brilliant show! But I love to play with the characters! Especially THE MAN THEY CALL JAAAYYYNEEE and River!
NOTES: Just a little thing I wrote when I got sidetracked after watching "TRASH". It´s a stand alone fic!
Also…props to Neroli and her friends for putting up the Firefly – board at Eboards…go check it out ppl!! ( Girls …you rock!) And thanks to Neroli for her beautiful Wallpapers !!!
This is of course post TRASH
STEADY AS RAIN
…..I CAN KILL YOU WITH MY BRAIN….
She had to be kiddin´right? Not that Jayne knew the damn girl all that well, but that had to have been a joke. A joke that had still managed to chill Jayne Cobb to the bone, especially judging from his current somewhat diminished capacity to get the hell up from that gorram´ lab table!!
Soon as he was back to ……being able to move he was sure gonna wring that pompous doctor´s scawny neck! How the hell did he figure the whole Ariel deal anyways? He was pretty sure that Mal had kept his ruttin´ trap shut ´bout the way that whole thing had gone down.
Jayne tried to lift his head but his muscles just weren´ t moving, not even an inch! It was like being tied down. The tall mercenary gave an angry grunt, not even his tongue was following the instructions his brain was sending out. Who knew …maybe the doc was more ruthless than he let on? Maybe he hadn´t paralysed him at all, like he said. Maybe this was all some ploy and the good doctor was doing away with him for good?
" Stop …..thinking!" came the angry whisper from the corridor. " You´re thinking too loud…..makes the whole place turn."
Uh..oh….Jayne stopped dead in his attempt to regain some sense of control over his own body. That was not the doctor out there in the corridor! That was his over the moon crazy sister.........
I CAN KILL YOU WITH MY BRAIN …..
Nah …..she couldn´t do that. Nobody could ruttin´do that. She was just messin´ with him, just like that – soon going to hell- brother of hers!
"Simon said no harm. I cut you, you lashed out at us ….I did it for fear, you did it for the money. Guess that makes us even now …..scales are balanced, common ground …..no harm, no foul."
Jayne grunted again as he commenced his struggling. That crazy loon sure as hell never made an ounce of sense. The sooner he got away from there all the better. He didn´t much fancy the idea of her brandishing another knife. His eyes started to wander around the room in panic, to make sure that Simon had not conveniently left any sharp or pointed objects lying ´round. Jayne would never admit it to himself, but it gave him a certain degree of reassurance that he was not wearing anything blue.
Her head slowly moved into his line of sight, she was peeking into the room.
"Your thinking is too loud …….steady as rain, rolling like a thunderstorm …..it makes my head hurt!" she told him impatiently. Jayne could hear her dress rustle as she picked herself off the floor and strolled into the lab. She didn´t sit so much as perch on the bench opposite to the gurney, looking at him accusingly. What the hell did that gorram´girl want with him?
"Uhh …annt…. eaalyyy …ill….me….wisshhh urrrr bwaiinnn….!!" Jayne mumbled, fighting against his still very uncooperative tongue.
Well…..that didn´t really come out right, now did it?.... A very mean inner voice taunted him.
River stared at him, her narrowed eyes barely visible underneath unruly dark curls that fell into her face.
"I think we need to talk, you and me…….it´s even better when you can´t speak so I can do all the talking and you´re left with all the listening." She finally said, nodding to herself.
"I like it here, this place …..Serenity. Makes me feel safe, even if ……all those thoughts and feelings bungled up in so close a space……bouncing off walls and ceiling, clashing with each other….."
She took a deep breath, shaking her head. Jayne stared at her in disbelief. This was no ruttin´ joke, the darn crazy girl was actually planning on …
She reached out her hand and hit him over the head. Jayne´s eyes widened in disbelief. The gorram´ mad wench had the nerve to hit him!
"Stop …nasty thoughts, sometimes interrupted by filthy thoughts ….make me sick sometimes…"
"Eyyyy……uhhhh….." Now wait a ruttin´minute…….Jayne mulled over what she had just said. Filthy thoughts….was that crazy girl readin´ his mind?
River arched one eyebrow at him, returning his inquisitive gaze.
" Now …." She continued with a sigh, pressing one hand and to her forehead, her brows knitted together.
" No harm, no foul….. Simon said. We will have peace now…yes?" She didn´t really wait for any kind of affirmation, but went straight on, leaning forward to better look at him.
"I cannot run from you too. Running from too many things already…..too many enemies already. We cannot be enemies, not here …not ever. I spin out of control as it is, you saw on Ariel …..you were there. You saw what they did ….my thoughts, my brain. I cannot put the puzzle back together if there is no silence, no peace. I cannot worry……all the time. Simon needs peace, safety…..to find the way to put my mind back together……so everything can go where it is supposed to be."
Jayne succeeded to frown and glower at her. What was she talkin´about now? That gorram´scan- thing he didn´t understand the first thing about? Cut into her brain, her brother had said. Now that couldn´t have been pleasant.
Hell , he´d already had this song and dance from Mal……already gave is word he´d behave himself. Little good it had done him to contact the alliance, couldn´t even trust the bad guys to play straight!
The girl stared at him again, then reached out a hand to pat his arm. Jayne´s eyes followed her motions wearily.The gesture had something disconcerting, something about that girl just wasn´t right.
"I see …you see…..now we both see." She nodded again, giving him a weird smile.
Jayne didn´t like it. By now he was pretty sure she was a ruttin´ mind reader. If Mal wanted to believe it or not, that girl knew more than she let on at times.
"You keep breathing the air, space is cold……like me. Sometimes I think I froze….I feel what others do and taste and smell ……feel, but I feel hollow, like there is nothing left of me. The puzzle is all wrong. Simon will figure it out, one day and then I´ll be a girl again. A real girl ….."
" Whatschu tawking ´bout?" Jayne yelled. Now was that just him or was the doctor´s drug finally letting off?
Only then did he realize that she was patting his arm in rhythm with his rapid heartbeat.
"It´s steady as rain…..Simon didn´t harm you, you´re safe." River said softly, closing her yes as though she was listening for something.
"Had to make sure you were …..that, safe. One day …I´ll need your strong arm, we´ll need you at our back in case they come for me." She smiled at him, shaking her head.
"You´ll like me better when I´m a real girl."
"What?"
Jayne could feel a tingle going through his hands as the feeling slowly returned, he flexed the muscles in his arms to test the control.The movement underneath her hand made River jump back.
"See ….safe."
"Now wait a ruttin´minute!" Jayne clumsily grabbed a hold of her wrist, his hands and arms started working again, but the movements were still strained and slow.
"Whatcha´ goin´ on about …..?" he growled at her.
River looked at his big hand around her small wrist, then at his face and her brow furrowed up.
"It´s simple …math. Pairs …..easy……it is inevitable, but not yet…"
She shook her head again, biting her lip. River careful tried tugging her arm free, but without much effort.
" I ain´t never been good at any kind of schooling, but you sure as hell don´t make any sense with that gibberish…."
She sighed, rolling her eyes at him as though he was a minor nuisance. It made Jayne almost give her a piece of his mind, but then again …….that whole killing him with her brain thing….
At this point Jayne was still not sure about that being a joke.
" Math, chemistry……there are rules like..... magnetism. There are always pairs…..like Wash and Zoë. There will be more in time, some sooner, some later; my brother and Kaylee, the captain and Inara. But Book has the scary hair and his …book that doesn´t make sense. The book makes him have no match, not allowed to be a pair, leaving just two….you and me"
Jayne stared at her for a minute, mouth agape. He should be laughing this off, the nasty little voice in his head told him, but somehow that laughter never came.
" Ohhh ……now I know for a fact that you´ve completely gone off the deep end. You ain´t got no clue as to how things work lil´girl …..you are crazy."
" Math, it´s easy." She just said flatly." Magnetism works that way…..you have two and if you hold them one way they´ll never touch, never collide, they push off each other …….no match. If you turn them around …..if you flip them ……they stick together like glue……" She tugged again, this time her wrist slipped from his grasp.
"Not there…….. not yet, not close ……." She shrugged as she took a few steps away from him. Jayne shook his head. Suddenly the thought of her killing him with the sheer power of her brain wasn´t the scariest thought on Jayne´s mind.
She turned around at the open door, as though she had just remembered something.
"I liked the apples……..they were sweet even when they were sour, like you…….like me, not quite ripe yet, but we´ll be."