The only sound that can be heard was her sobs. He was silent and he wanted everything to just stop; her sobs, the war, the pettiness of it all. With another heavy sigh, Sirius started once again. "Marlene, please, try to consider this." He pleaded as he focused his eyes on her again. He wanted to reach out to her, wipe all those tear stains on her face but it was just inappropriate for this situation, he doesn't even have the strength to stand and cross the few steps separating the couch he was sitting on and the table she was leaning on.
Marlene shook her head repeatedly. "Sirius, stop it, stop begging me please." She cried and sniffed some more. "I'm going to do this. It's what's right!" Sirius winced wanting to shout but trying to remain calm for the two of them. "Marlene, this is a child we're talking about. It's never right to give one up!" He said in between clenched teeth. Out of all the scenarios he can think of if ever he hears he'll be a father, this one never crossed his mind. He had always thought it will be happy and full of tears, yes, but of joy. He never thought along with the knowledge that he'll finally have a child, the premise of losing it will come as well.
"This is why I didn't want to tell you! It's what's right for me, Sirius, it's what's right for everyone. There's a war going on! We can't risk another pregnancy. There's already Alice, Lily, and Molly who are with child. I don't need to add up to that. I need to be a soldier of this war
just like you are and the rest without having to compromise my health and another person growing inside me!" Marlene shouted as another batch of tears streamed down her face.
During her litany, Sirius noted the way her voice breaks, he knows her enough to notice the change of her tone. She's suffering from this too. Her wants against her vows to stop the blood war once and for all. "Marls…I can fight for both of us. Just…don't do this…please." He pleaded once more and crossed the distance between them as he kneeled in front of her. Marlene shook her head slowly again as if her resolve was crumbling. "No, Sirius, no…" She sobbed and as if her knees gave up from supporting her, she slide down to face him too. Her blue eyes pleaded with her black ones who is trying to find the answers in hers.
"Look, I love you, we can get through this. We can have our child and win this. Just have faith in me…in us…" Sirius whispered before kissing her forehead and she leaned down to his chest for support. "I don't want to be selfish, Sirius. I have to fight. I can't care for another person again. We're losing friends and loved ones one after another. I'm afraid to lose you. But if I lose this, it's my choice, not because of this war. Please, Sirius, please understand."
He heaved another sigh. He can't give up. He just needs to try to convince her further. "Marlene, love, I know you more than anyone and I love you more than anything. I know once we win this war and you went through with this decision of yours, you'll be miserable. You'll be forever haunted by this choice you wanted to make." He told her softly but with every bit of conviction he can muster. There was silence once again. She tried to let his words sink in. She weighted her options one more time, thought of the pros and cons.
"Am I strong enough for this?" She whispered. "Yes, and if not, I'll lend you my strength okay?" He told her lovingly as he stroke her blonde hair and planted a kiss on it. "Will we name it after a star?" She asked again as her sobs continue to recede. Sirius smiled a bit. "Up to you, but please stop referring to our unborn baby as a thing." She nodded and for now they enjoyed the comforting silence after the storm of emotions they just had conquered.