Yet another oneshot and I still don't own the X-Men. Why is life so cruel?

If you are in any way affected, whether emotionally or indeed, physically, by the recent outbreak of Swine Influenza, we urge you to not read this. It's just a little lighthearted joke with added ROMY but some may find the content a little offensive. This is unintentional.

Rogue coughed again and Kitty, wearing a surgical mask, placed a hand on the Goth's forehead to check her temperature.

"Wow, Rogue, you've got a fever. I, like, don't think you should go to school today."

"Fahne bah meh, Kit..." Rogue broke off as a coughing fit took over.

Kitty handed her the glass of water from the side of her bed. "It's, like, probably flu. Kurt and I had the same symptoms." She looked at her watch. "It's been an hour, Rogue, you have to take the collar off now."

Whenever Rogue was ill (a rare occurrence since she had absorbed Logan so much), Hank brought out the prototype inhibitor collar Forge had invented to block her powers, enabling easy treatment. Of course, it being a prototype, regular and prolonged use of it was dangerous, the reason she didn't use it all the time. The collar was used at hourly intervals: an hour on, an hour off, etcetera. Rogue sighed as she remove the necklace-like metal invention and placed it on the nightstand for another hour.

"Can yah tell thah instrucahs then?"

"Sure. I'll, like, see you later."

"Bye, Kitteh."

*****

As Kitty left the room, pulling off the mask, she bumped into Jubilee.

"Hey, is Rogue in the land of the living yet? Logan asked me to wake you two up."

"Rogue, like, as the flu. I was just going to tell the instructors. Can you tell the others to, like, stay away so they don't get it?"

"Sure!"

Kitty smiled at the oriental girl and continued down the corridor. As the rules of bad timing and general misconception state, Jubilee had to misunderstand Kitty's meaning of 'flu' and for someone to walk down the corridor as she did so. Naturally this happened. Jubilee's hands flew to her mouth in horror as Remy LeBeau, resident Cajun Casanova and recent transfer to the team, who just so happened to be not-so-secretly-to-everyone-but-the-object-of-his-affections-in-love with Rogue, strolled towards his chere's door, hoping to catch her as she walked out just to tell her she was beautiful.

"Dere a problem, petite?" he asked, concerned.

"Rogue's in there."

"Oui, I figured dat out m'self since it's her room et she's not down at de Danger Room yet."

"She has..." Jubilee gulped. "Swine flu," she whispered anxiously.

"Mon Dieu." He knew from the news reports that it was deadly in some cases, a lot of people had already died. He didn't want to lose the girl of his dreams, not while she didn't she didn't know his true feelings for her. "I've got t' talk t' her."

"Jubilee, never mind about Stripes! Find Gumbo and get down here for the Danger Room Session!" Logan yelled from downstairs. Kitty had evidently found him.

"I guess you have to wait 'til later. Maybe the session will give you time to think about what you want to say."

He looked at her blankly. "I don' know what y'..."

"We all know you're in love with her."

He didn't reply. She took that as an answer.

"Get a move on, Firecracker!"

"Come on, it's only an hour."

Remy finally gave in and left for the hour of torture Logan had inevitably set up for the teams.

*****

An hour later, Remy was back at Rogue's door, waiting. His finely tuned thief's senses heard the sound of glass hitting wood so he opened the door a crack and saw her lying in bed, her skin paler than usual and tinged with green; her perfect emerald eyes hooded with exhaustion. The inhibitor collar was around her neck so he would be able to touch her. She had to know how he felt before she... No, he couldn't think about that. He pushed the door open a little more and stepped into the room.

"Kitteh? Hank?" she muttered.

"Non, ma cherie. C'est Remy."

Her head turned to look at him. Even when she looked so unwell she was beautiful. "Hey, Remy. It's kahnda stupid foah yah tah beh in heah when ah'm ill. Yah'll end up sick too."

"I don' care 'bout dat." He really didn't. If she was going to die, he wasn't going to be far behind. "Chere... I've got somet'in' t' tell y'."

"Wow..." She gave a little cough. "Riskin' germs an' Logan's wrath jus' tah talk tah meh. This mus' beh important."

"Oui, it is. Chere..."

"Come on, Swamp Rat, spit it out!"

"Chere, I know dat y' have swine flu an' I know dat it's deadly sometimes..."

"Remy..."

"Let m' finish, cherie. I know dat it c'n b' deadly mais I didn' want y' t'... T' die b'fore y' knew..."

"Remy, seriousleh. Ah think..."

"Rogue, chere, je t'aime. I love y' more dan y' could ev'r know. I wanted y' t' hear dat."

"Remy, ah don' have swahne flu!"

Remy faltered and looked at her in disbelief. "Quoi?"

"It's onleh regular flu. Hank diagnosed it befoah yah came in heah. Ah'll beh fahne in a few days!"

Remy's face had gone beet red at both his mistake and confessing his feelings to her thinking she was going to die. Now he'd never hear the end of it. She looked at him. He was cute when he was embarrassed.

"Mon Dieu! Mais Jubilee said..."

"Don' yah know bettah than tah listen tah 'Kitteh junior'?" Her fingers framed quotation marks around the nickname. "Yah know she exaggerates everythin'!"

"Chere, could y' not tell anyone 'bou' dis?"

"Whah would ah keep this tah mahself?! Ah'm tellin' everehone!"

"Y' can't! I'd never live it down!"

"Hmm. Yah're rahght. Logan'd skin yah alahve."

"Chere?"

"Oh come on, Rems, yah didn't know? Kitteh knows, Wanda knew even befoah she joined us, Jean prahbably knows too."

"Know what?"

"Remy, ah love yah too. Ah was nevah brave enough tah jus' come out an' say it."

Remy was over the moon. His chere loved him. Maybe, just maybe... "Chere, once y' bett'r, could I take y' t' dinner?"

She smiled. "That'd beh nahce." She glanced at her clock: less than thirty seconds. "Rems, could yah help meh up?"
"I don' t'ink y' should b' gettin' up yet."

"Just do it, please?"

Remy leaned down and helped her into a sitting position. Fifteen seconds. Before he could straighten up again, Rogue reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing him into a kiss that lasted for the rest of her collar-wearing hour. They broke apart and she took off the collar, placing it on her nightstand.

"Can yah stay with meh?"

"Course, cherie, 'm not leaving y' now," he said, sitting next to her on the bed, one arm around her waist, the other hand holding hers tightly.

Epilogue - Two days later

Rogue sat on Remy's bed, stroking his unruly auburn hair softly.

"Ah told yah yah'd get thah flu if yah stayed in mah room."

"I t'ink it was de kiss dat gave m' de flu."

"Well, yah're stayin' in bed."

"Y' gonna stay wit' m'?"

"Ahbviousleh! Yah stayed with meh!"

"Non, I meant in de bed."

"Perv."

"Y' wound m', chere."

She smirked and kissed his head.

"Y' gonna get de flu 'gain, chere."

"Logan let meh absorb him 'fore ah came in heah, ah've gaht his healing powah."

"So de Wolverine's warmin' up t' dis Cajun den?

"Naht realleh. He mahght once he sees how happeh ah am with yah."

It had been funny when Logan had come to visit Rogue, only to find her lying in bed with Remy's arms wrapped around her and their lips practically glued together. He had shouted and bawled before Ororo and Hank calmed him down and Rogue had explained why 'that filthy Cajun had his hands all over her'.

"Take it dat 'm not takin' y' t' dinner den?"

"Naht until yah're bettah, Rems."

They smiled at each other and laid in his bed, just enjoying being together.

It's funny how a potentially fatal illness can bring two people together. Coughs and sneezes may spread diseases, but evidently kisses do too.